I'm in Warhammer, please don't praise Doraemon

Chapter 336 Ruth pees on Ryan's bed
This is Calth, the world of death,
Calth used to be a lush and civilized world, a developed, prosperous and lush beautiful planet, with a manufacturing industry that could rival Macragge. With the ancient technological creation called the superconducting ring, the Calth people could transport their industrial and agricultural products cheaply into space and conveniently trade with the entire Ultramar.

On the eve of the end of the Great Crusade, Calth had developed into the sixth most important planet in Ultramar. The people of Calth were proud of it. They seemed to be a microcosm of Ultramar's eternal glory. Today is better than yesterday, and tomorrow will be better than today. The golden dream will never fall.
But there is nothing in this world that is not broken.
The Word Bearers backstabbed the Ultramarines on this planet.
Horus, who had already betrayed the lord, ordered the Ultramarines and the Word Bearers to join forces with Calth to form a joint force to fight the threat of the greenskins.

Roboute Guilliman judged that the greenskins would not pose a substantial threat to the Empire, but he mistakenly believed that Horus's real purpose was to repair the rift between the Word Bearers and the Ultramarines since the incident at the City of Perfection.

The Ultramarines warmly entertained the Word Bearers on Calth, but the Word Bearers responded with only betrayal, blasphemy, and warp sorcery.
The entire Calth burned, and the once beautiful planet lost its atmosphere. The golden dream was shattered. Most of the Calth people died in the war, and the few who remained lived in underground pipes.
Since then, Calth has become an eternal pain in the hearts of the Ultramarines.
Its status is roughly equivalent to that of Caliban to the Dark Angels, the Burning of Prospero to the Thousand Sons, and the City of Perfection to the Word Bearers.
Ten thousand years later, Robouti Guilliman, the Lord of the Ultramarines, once again set foot on the surface of Calth.
This is the last stronghold of the Chaos traitors. As long as the war here is ended, the whole of Ultramar will be under the rule of Macragge again.

Inside the Imperial Command Room in the Calth Tunnel,

Guilliman looked at the battle report with a gloomy face.

He was not depressed because of the current war situation in Calth, but because of everything Calth had experienced during his 10,000 years of sleep.
"During the Beast Wars, the Orc Battle Moon attacked Calth."

"During the Tyranid Wars, the Tyranid executioner 'Old One-Eye' wreaked havoc on Calth."

"Not long ago, the Word Bearers Demon Prince Reborn Mu Ka chiseled open the tomb I designed for the Fourth Captain Remus Ventanus in Calth???"

Veins popped out on Robert Guilliman's forehead, and he looked so ugly that he seemed to want to tear the paper in front of him into pieces.

Zhou Yun picked up a handful of dust from the ground and held it in his hand. Looking at Guilliman with a gloomy face, he wanted to tell a classic joke about Calth, the Perfect City and the Thousand Sons to liven up the atmosphere.
But just Guilliman standing here and listening to the more than 10,000 years of troubled history of Calth is enough to make people feel hell.
What lies before him,

This is roughly equivalent to telling Lorgar that the Perfect City was bombed three times again, and Anger Tai's tomb was destroyed by the Ultramarines.

Or tell Magnus that Prospero was blown up three more times and Leman Russ is still pissing on Amon's ashes,

Or telling Lion that Caliban had blown up three more times and that Leman Russ had peed on his bed.

"You are thinking about something rude again." Seeing Zhou Yun holding the sand of Kos, Sanguinius guessed that he was thinking about some blasphemous joke.

"Do you have any problem with my joke? It's perfect, and it has nearly infinite scalability."

“For example, this joke could be changed to.”

Zhou Yun grinned:
"A Dark Angel and the Thousand Sons quarreled."

"The Dark Angel grabbed a handful of sand from the ground and threw it in the Thousand Son's face: 'These are Prospero's ashes!'"

"The Thousand Sons, not to be outdone, also grabbed a handful of sand and threw it in the Dark Angel's face: 'This is a fragment of Caliban!'"

"At this moment, a Cadian warrior rushed out, protected the sand on the ground and shouted: 'Don't throw it, don't throw it, Cadia will not fall.'"

"Ah?" Lena, the leader of the 184th Regiment of Cardia, glanced at Zhou Yun.

"Yes, yes." Sanguinius nodded gently, "It can also be extended to your hometown of Terra."

"After all, Terra is not much better than Calth, except for the fact that it has an atmosphere filled with nuclear radiation."

Zhou Yun's face drooped immediately.
Zhou Yun felt sad when he thought about his hometown Terra, which had been bombed by a nuclear bomb like Mad Max, and even couldn't grow the juicy Keling apples that made the magical girl Ryan have wet dreams.

"I guess there's also a version of this joke involving Calth and the City of Perfection?" Guilliman put down the strategic report in his hand and said with a twitching face.

"The Primarch's superhuman brain is working." Zhou Yun nodded to indicate that Guilliman had guessed correctly: "If you want to listen, I can tell you."

Guilliman's face suddenly darkened. "I will add a rule to the Imperial Code that prohibits making jokes about planets such as Calth, Caliban, and Cadia."

Upon hearing this, Sanguinius smiled brilliantly.
He said to Guilliman in a clear voice: "If you dare to write your holy book of Erebus again, I will smash your Armor of Destiny with the Spear of Success, and then I will have Cawl sew you into the Dreadnought, and you will never write a single word in your life."

"The problems with the Codex Astartes are because it is not perfect enough. As long as I——" Guilliman argued.

And Sanguinius had already placed his hand on the Spear of Bigong.

Digris and Mephiston, who came with the two men, took a step back slightly, keeping a distance from the two primarchs.

"Let's wait until we return to Terra." Guilliman sighed and said submissively, "Let's end the war in Calth and even in Ultramar first."

Calth is the last area in Ultramar where organized Chaos forces still operate.
The underground here is full of complex underground pipelines, and the war here was dragged out for a long time.

In order to end the war as soon as possible, and considering the importance of Calth,
The two Primarchs and Zhou Yun all came to Calth, and brought their respective think tanks with them. "Robert Guilliman's blue cubs are biting really hard."

The Warsmith Kavalan of the Bitter Sons warband, who originated from the Iron Warriors Legion, gritted his teeth and said:
"Our teammates are all a bunch of idiots again!"

Hiding in the shadows of the Calth Tunnels, they used the talents inherited from their Primarch Perturabo to continuously build new fortifications, killing zones, and trenches. They managed to control at least one-third of the Calth Tunnels in the almost endless tide of Ultramarines, making it the last stronghold of the entire Chaos side in Ultramar.

The defeated Chaos rebels on other planets also gathered in the tunnels of Calth.
These rebels were supposed to become Kavalan, the reinforcements and helpers of the Bitter Sons warband.
But in Kavalan's opinion, the other warbands are all a bunch of idiots.
First, civil strife broke out between warbands originating from the World Eaters and warbands originating from the Word Bearers. The Sons of Angron roared and hacked at the Word Bearers madly. There was even a World Eaters Chaos Lord who ascended to become a Demon Prince with the help of eight hundred Word Bearers skulls, and then continued to slaughter indiscriminately.

Following them came the warbands of Abaddon's Black Legion, who were lured like fools into the trap prepared by the Ultramarines and slaughtered.
There are also warbands that originated from the Emperor's Children. These pleasure-seeking fools simply ran away after discovering that they could not humiliate the enemy in trench warfare.
The Thousand Sons claimed to have been summoned by their father, and used psychic magic to withdraw from the battlefield.

The Death Guard were even more of a jerk, disappearing from the battlefield of Ultramar without even a reason.

What about Kavalon's enemies? Relying on the war skills passed down from the Iron Warriors' ancestors, Kavalon even occupied half of the tunnels of Calth.
But they didn't expect that the Ultramarines would drag the Imperial Fists who came to Macragge to watch the ceremony into the war, and also drag a group of Black Templars from somewhere. After this group of Dorne descendants joined the battle, the two sides instantly became evenly matched.
It is said that this was the idea of ​​some lack-of-virtue Saint Doraemon. I heard that He also let the Space Wolves urinate on the ashes of the Thousand Sons' Rubric Warriors, played the video of the destruction of the Perfect City in front of the Word Bearers, and changed the face of a Blood Angels company into Horus attacking the Black Legion. It's so damn wicked that he's almost catching up with Erebus.

Today, the Iron Warriors led by Kavalan and other Chaos warbands occupy one-third of the tunnels, while the Black Templars, the Imperial Fists and the Ultramarines occupy the other two-thirds.

But it doesn't matter. They forged twelve killing zones and transformed the tunnels into bunkers that can withstand virus bombs. Even the descendants of Dorne can't break through this meat grinder.

A roar suddenly sounded from above Kavalan's head. He and the Iron Warriors in the bunker watched in horror as the ceiling of the bunker collapsed in the blink of an eye and flew into the sky as if gravity was reversed.
Large tracts of land were lifted up by the roaring psychic energy, and the bunkers fell apart under the might of the Most High. The Chaos rebels hiding in the shadows of the tunnels were exposed to the vacuum of Calth without any protection.
Kavalan looked up at the airless sky with fear, looking at the star-like figures that released huge spiritual energy.
As a war blacksmith, Kavalan knew the names of these figures.
The leader of the 184th Regiment of Cardia, the Saint Doraemon Prophet Reina, was the weakest one among them, but she still lifted up a mountain and smashed it into the tunnel exposed to the air.

There was also the Blood Angels Think Tank Director Mephiston, the Lord of Death, who had returned from the Dark Rage. He swung the silver-steel sword in his hand at the ground, and the cold and solid ground was turned into powder.
The chief think tank of the Ultramarines, Digris, also stood in the sky, psychic flames gushing from his features, and psychic lightning thicker than a hive city raging around him.
And there was the figure flying at the highest point, the Archangel Sanguinius spread his white wings with a hint of blue, and his pure light illuminated the sky of Calth like a star, causing countless Chaos rebels on the ground to howl in agony.

Kavalan's expression was dull. Did he poke the hook of the false emperor? That's why he had to face these uncles who were enough to blow up the whole of Kos?

At this moment, both the loyalists and the rebels knew that the war on Calth was over, and the war on Ultramar was over.

In a few hours at most, their gangs would be dissolved in the psychic power of those four psychic maniacs.

"Mechanizer. Star Idalia." A voice sounded in the void.

Kavalan suddenly saw the figure that he had just ignored and that did not emit spiritual energy.
It was a blue, round figure with a strange propeller on its head.

The next moment, Cavallen realized that they would die in less than a few hours.

Copied from the Blood Angels Think Tank, the star Idalia, containing the vast psychic power of the Emperor, shone for less than a third of a second above the horizon of Calth.
Then, the earth dissolved, and Kavalan felt himself being engulfed by the light, and then his power armor was dissolved in the heat of the star and the psychic energy of the Emperor.
"Oh my God, Calth!!!" Guilliman, who was in the command post far away, gritted his teeth as he watched half of the continent of Calth dissolve in the blazing flames.

Zhou Yun had been holding the Star Idalia in his hand since Baal, and today he finally fired it, and he felt much better.
After all, this thing was copied from a star that was bound by the Emperor's psychic power. Even if it released its power for a brief moment, it would be enough to melt the continent, penetrate the planet's atmosphere, and cause the climate of the entire world to collapse.
But there is no such problem in Cowes. Cowes is a dead world with no atmosphere at all. It is basically just a big rock. There is no climate, let alone collapse. Zhou Yun can vent this power at will.

But Zhou Yun didn't know that when he released the star Aedalos, the burst of the Emperor's psychic power also attracted the attention of a person in the Supreme Heaven.
"The Emperor's psychic power." Ahriman stood beside the broken webway, looking at the fleeting psychic light in the sky.

He wore a mask engraved with Prospero's ancient runes, hiding all his expressions underneath. No one knew what he was feeling at the moment. Perhaps there was no mortal body under the mask.

He turned his head and looked at the Eldar Death Army behind him who were controlled by him with the Ninefold Curse.

"Now, Alien, tell me the secret of your reaper."

Ahriman dragged the black staff in his hand and walked in front of the Death Army.
He roams the Webway near Ultramar, waiting to capture the Eldar's Death Army.

"No!" A Death Soldier dressed as a barbarian Eldar refused directly.
Ahriman did not say anything more, but simply swung his staff across his head.
The Death God Army dressed as the Savage Eldar turned into ashes and disappeared.
"Hmm?" Ahriman frowned slightly.
How come there is no soul? Just an empty shell? No, it was because he failed to restrain the soul of the Death God Army. Some existence took away the soul of the Death God Army before he did.

"Ahahahahaha." As if noticing Ahriman's expression, a Death Soldier dressed as a clown laughed wildly.

"Ahriman! Our souls are protected by Doraemon, the god of death of mankind. After death, our souls return to the 22nd century. Where can your despicable soul go?"

The clown-like Death Warrior taunted Ahriman, and then he took a deep breath:

"Bah! Traitor to humanity! As someone loyal to the human race, I despise you!"

A mouthful of spit sprayed on Ahriman's face,

Ahriman could not help but tighten his grip on the scepter.

Being told by the damn alien that I am a traitor to humanity, I am so damn angry!!!
(End of this chapter)