I logged into Mr. Zombie

Nighttime, at the funeral hall.

Fly, accompanied by his henchman Creamy Pig, arrived at his boss's memorial service.

The wreaths were all delivered by his underlings.

"Boss!" Fly bowed his head, his voice filled with sorrow.

"Waaah~" The widowed sister-in-law next to her cried even more sadly upon hearing this, but only her voice could be heard, not her tears.

The fly sighed, "Sister-in-law, please accept my condolences!"

He reached out to grab his sister-in-law's hand, but was forced back by the stench of smoke.

"Fly, you're the one who killed the boss!"

The newcomer was also a henchman of the big boss, Snake, but unlike Fly, he didn't have Snake's deep trust.

With Snake Brother dead today, it's time to split up the family business.

If they don't get rid of the flies, they'll leave empty-handed.

"Don't make false accusations." Fly's voice was anything but firm.

A large group of thugs had already surrounded them.

"You...you guys will make the boss die with his eyes open if you do this." Creamy Pig stammered, "We're all brothers, there's no need to do this. Besides, look how ugly Fly looks, he's going to get angry."

Everyone looked at Fly and saw that he was indeed frowning.

Some people even stopped in their tracks, widening their eyes and not daring to take another step forward.

Some people even slowly backed away.

Seeing that the situation had been temporarily stabilized, Creamy Pig secretly breathed a sigh of relief and then leaned close to Fly, tilting his head to ask, "Brother Fly, I didn't expect your reputation to be so useful. What's next?"

"Of course." Fly's face turned ashen. "Now get out of here! And hey, where did you buy dinner? My stomach hurts, I need to poop!"

"No way, if you pooped in Snake Brother's funeral hall, you'd definitely get beaten up and pooped out."

However, with their backs to the coffin, the two men were completely unaware that the reason their group of underlings stopped was not because of Fly's "reputation," but because the person who should have been lying quietly in the coffin behind them had opened his eyes.

"It seems the boss has opened his eyes."

"Boss..."

"Crack!"

The corpse, which had been sitting quietly in the coffin, indeed stiffly wriggled and sat up.

Fingernails and fangs had grown out of nowhere, and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Roar!"

"what--!"

After the sister-in-law let out a loud scream, the boss turned into a zombie, and the scene descended into complete chaos.

"Run! Run outside!"

"Damn it, who locked the door from the outside?!"

The group staggered out, but the first person to escape had already closed the door; no brotherhood was more important than their lives.

They all turned around and looked at the big boss, Snake, who was sniffling and looking over with his hands raised. They all hissed and took a deep breath.

"Roar!"

"Run separately!"

In the sealed funeral hall, a ferocious zombie faces a group of living people, and only a massacre remains.

"Ouch." Fly was kicked from behind.

After staggering a few steps forward, he hugged his boss.

“Brother Snake, it’s me, Fly. You can go in peace. I’ll take care of your sister-in-law. I can manage with a few more blue pills.”

"Roar!"

"what--!"

The fly turned and ran, but after a few steps, it found that it had not been caught.

Turning around, I saw the zombie slowly chasing after me.

"Oh, it's that slow." The fly breathed a sigh of relief.

However, he soon realized that he had relaxed too soon. The mourning hall was too small but too crowded. Every corner where people could hide was packed with people, and he had nowhere to go.

The fly had no choice but to flee again.

"Hey, whose butt is that? Please move aside."

"If you can't give it up, go somewhere else."

"Depend on."

The fly glanced back and saw that the zombie was chasing after it. Without thinking, it plunged headlong into a corner.

"Damn, so many people?"

Behind a wreath, in a space of about two square meters, there were six or seven people crammed together.

"Don't push, my stomach hurts!" Fly said, looking unwell.

However, people kept pushing from behind, hoping to push others in front of them, so his stomach was squeezed more and more.

"Ahhh—" The older sister-in-law screamed as she ran over, and, under the fly's desperate gaze, rammed the ball into his stomach.

"Phew, I held on." The fly strained its sphincter and its eyes rolled back violently.

If being chased by zombies is bad, then being chased by zombies when you have diarrhea would be worse than ever. If you accidentally poop in your pants, you might as well turn around and join the zombies and give up your human identity.

The voice of Creamy Pig came from somewhere: "Brother Fly, should we call a master to save our lives?"

"Damn, why didn't you say so earlier?"

The fly lowered its head and looked at its sister-in-law, who was trying to burrow into its arms.

"Sister-in-law, could you please get my phone out for me?"

"Oh, okay."

"Hiss—this isn't the one."

After many hardships, the fly finally managed to make a distress call.

Then... the call was disconnected.

Fly: (Д)
It’s over.

……

"Ring ring ring—!"

Ma Xiaoling, who was sitting in front of the computer typing on the keyboard, frowned and tilted her head to peek out from behind the large computer screen at the figure lying sprawled on the sofa.

"Hey, your phone is ringing!"

"Oh."

"Oh what? Answer the phone."

Tan Wenjie put down the bag of potato chips in his hand, wiped his hands, and then took out his phone.

"Fly, why did you suddenly decide to call me?"

"Ho ho ho!!"

"Eating people? Grandfather? What, you think I can't understand zombie language?"

"Huff, boss, help... help me!" Fly's voice finally came through, "Snake Bro is dead, his corpse has turned into a zombie!"

"Congratulations! So you're going to be a big shot."

"Don't worry, I'll definitely take good care of my sister-in-law... Ugh, no, come quick! A zombie is biting me."

"Hold your breath, the zombies can't find you. Wait for me, I'm on my way." Tan Wenjie hung up the phone.

Upon hearing the mention of zombies, Ma Xiaoling stood up almost instinctively.

She asked, "Where are we going to catch zombies?"

"I didn't ask."

"..."

"But finding the zombies is a piece of cake." Tan Wenjie looked up at the sky.

"You also know astrology?"

She admitted that Tan Wenjie's skills far surpassed her own, but he was young and unlike her, he had combined the strengths of both the Southern and Northern Mao schools.

Suddenly, Ma Xiaoling was stunned. When did she become the common descendant of the Nanmao and Beima families? It seemed like a very abrupt memory, yet it made perfect sense.

Ma Xiaoling shook her head slightly and then said, "It will be cloudy tonight."

However, she saw Tan Wenjie's eyes light up, and the dark night outside suddenly cracked open, revealing the obscured starry sky.

They drive away the clouds and chase the rain, plucking stars from the sky.

The past life of Tan Wenjie, whom I found myself, was even more terrifying than I had imagined.

Tan Wenjie had already closed his eyes, blinked gently, and everything returned to normal.

"Astrology? I don't understand it, it's too complicated."

"So you...?"

“I’m quite familiar with the Starry Sky constellation; I just asked them directly where the zombies were.”

"..."

The truth is even simpler than Tan Wenjie said, because there is no trace of gods in this world. The power of the stars is just released instinctively. He just happened to have fought with the real and fake stars in "Journey to the West: The Sequel". It is impossible for him to directly replace the stars, but guiding the power of the stars, which has no one to control, to find the flies is as simple as opening the full map vision to find the enemy.

The only headache was that there were so many zombies that it took a little longer to filter them out.

“Come on, I’ll take you to make a fortune,” Tan Wenjie said. Ma Xiaoling smiled and said, “I’m very honest in business, and I would never take money from someone indiscriminately.”

I'd never believe you.

Tam Man-kit said, "They are gangsters, and all their wealth is ill-gotten gains. They need to spend it through our own hands to turn it into charity."

Ma Xiaoling couldn't help but smile brightly: "Okay!"

The figure in front of her overlapped, and then she realized that this person was not her man, and her face immediately turned cold.

……

"Hold your breath," Fly whispered as he watched the zombie charge. "If we hold our breath, the zombie won't be able to find us."

In the mourning hall, everyone held their breath.

Sure enough, the zombie that was chasing people around just now was now frozen in place.

"No, I can't hold it in any longer!" someone gasped.

"Roar!"

The zombie immediately gave chase, but the man had already taken a breath and held it again before the zombie pounced.

As expected, the zombies stopped again.

“We can take turns breathing, and we can definitely hold out until the master comes to save us,” Fly said.

The proposal was immediately agreed upon by the others in the funeral parlor.

Each of the four directions breathes its own air, while the zombie snake spins in circles like a top, unsure where to go to catch someone to eat.

The crisis was temporarily averted, and after several rounds, it was finally the fly's turn.

However, he inadvertently loosened the restraint on his sphincter muscles while relaxing.

"Pfft—~"

A long, loud fart.

Just then, Fly's group inhaled. After holding their breath for nearly a minute, they took a deep breath, and then...!
"Oh shit!"

"Fly, I'm going to cough you up!"

"I can't take it anymore!"

The solid defensive line crumbled just like that after a fly farted.

As the stench of farts, reminiscent of eggs, wafted through the mourning hall, everyone pinched their noses, indicating they couldn't bear it.

If you don't breathe, you'll suffocate; if you do breathe, you'll suffocate from the stench.

"boom!"

The door was violently kicked open, and a handsome man and a beautiful woman stood at the entrance of the mourning hall.

The headlights of a car outside shone straight in, the high beams falling on the two people and outlining their silhouettes.

"Master, help me!" Fly saw Tan Wenjie and immediately pounced on him.

The next moment, Tan Wenjie disdainfully turned his body away to avoid him.

"It really is a zombie." Ma Xiaoling frowned, but was reluctant to go inside.

Because the farts smelled too bad.

The zombies spotted them and roared as they pounced.

The zombies are met with fists.

Tan Wenjie threw a punch.

"boom!"

The zombie, which was supposedly invulnerable to swords and bullets, had its shoulders snap off with a series of cracking sounds, hanging from its side like a tattered sack.

He threw another punch, sending the zombie snake flying and landing precisely in the coffin.

The zombie, trembling inside the coffin, dared not come out.

Tan Wenjie flicked his hand again, and the air in the mourning hall was quickly exchanged.

"What kind of magic did you just use?" Ma Xiaoling couldn't understand it at all.

"The force is so great that the bricks fly."

"..."

Seeing that the zombies had been dealt with, the others tiptoed away, trying to escape.

"Wait," Tan Wenjie said. "If you don't want to die, stay here. It's one thing if you get infected by the zombie virus and turn into zombies, but you can't go out and harm people."

One of the underlings asked, "Master, is getting infected a death sentence?"

"Of course not. I have a special medicine here. It can cure poisoning and detoxify and beautify the skin for those who are not poisoned." Tan Wenjie said as he strode toward the coffin without even looking at the group. "Don't worry, apart from those infected by zombies, no one else needs to buy it, and I don't want to sell it to them."

"Master, I want to buy it."

"I think I might have been infected with zombie virus."

"Wait in line."

Tan Wenjie even turned to Ma Xiaoling and winked, as if to say: See, making money is that simple.

Ma Xiaoling: "..."

He came to the coffin and looked at Snake Brother inside.

Who bit you?

"You can really understand zombie language?" Ma Xiaoling followed, her tone filled with amazement.

“It’s very simple, I’ll teach you another day.” Tan Wenjie added after saying that, “It’s free.”

"That's what you said."

The snake inside the coffin was howling pitifully; being a low-level zombie, it had absolutely no intelligence.

"It seems we won't get any information out of them."

Tan Wenjie threw out a ball of Samadhi True Fire, which incinerated the zombie on the spot.

He turned around and saw Fly pulling up his pants as he entered the room.

"Where does that Mr. Zhou live?"

The fly immediately said, "I'll take you there, Master."

Others, however, were unwilling.

"Master, what should we do?"

"Yes, we may have been infected with the corpse virus."

"My stomach hurts so much, I think I might really not make it."

"I have angina."

"My purse hurts."

"Hmm?" *N
Everyone's eyes turned to look at it.

"I just cut it this afternoon, how is it!"

Everyone looked away.

“I understand everyone’s concerns. Here’s what we’ll do.” Tan Wenjie flipped his hand, revealing a stack of flyers. “Come and pick them up yourselves. As long as you take the pill within 24 hours, you can get emergency contraception and emergency removal of corpse poison.”

"You just said you were using contraception, right?"

"No."

The flyers were snatched up by the crowd.

Tan Wenjie and his companions took advantage of the chaos to leave.

The car headed straight for Zhou Yaqiang's location, and the closer they got, the stronger the corpse aura became.

Finally, the car stopped in front of a large building.

Tan Wenjie casually tossed out two talismans, telling the flies not to wander off, and then he and Ma Xiaoling entered the elevator together.

They located the area with the strongest corpse aura outside the building and then proceeded to select the floor.

“The entire building is filled with the aura of death,” Ma Xiaoling said. “It seems there are no living people left here.”

"And there was even a zombie king." Tan Wenjie nodded, agreeing with her assessment.

"Zombie King?"

It seems that Ma Xiaoling has once again thought of the thousand-year entanglement between the exorcist dragon clan and Jiang Chen.

"It's a wild zombie king, capable of flying and escaping, and endlessly regenerating."

However, to some extent, the Wild Zombie King's combat power is also extraordinary.

Ding, the elevator has arrived.

Tan Wenjie and Ma Xiaoling entered the office and saw a man with bared fangs sitting behind the desk, looking at them provocatively.

There were also four hot female zombies around him.

What a waste.

Big wave hardens ball.

At this moment, he desperately wanted to subdue demons and monsters.

"I'll handle it!" Tan Wenjie looked at Zhou Yaqiang with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

Ma Xiaoling: "..."

She looked at the four female zombies and thought to herself: Their figures aren't as good as mine, especially their legs. (End of Chapter)