first-class champion

After being silent for a long time, Fang Wenzhong asked suddenly: "The genius who is rare in a hundred years can only appear in the Jianghu martial arts world, but I am very puzzled. Do young people nowadays know kung fu?"

Duan Mingyu grinned and said: "Of course, internal strength and hidden weapons are not mentioned. The deepest one in kung fu is acupuncture. Coincidentally, this champion also knows a thing or two!"

Of course Wang Aiqing knew that Duan Mingyu possessed martial arts, but Fang Wenzhong expressed doubts: "Only you, you will!"

Duan Mingyu rolled Fang Wenzhong's eyes, what the hell, you still don't believe it, Duan Mingyu said angrily, "Would you like me to practice a few moves immediately for you to see!"

"Please be careful, the second set of eye exercises, start now, rub the Tianyin point, squeeze the Jingming point, rub the Sibai point, one two three four, two two three four, change the position, do it again, um, finally Come up with a big trick: scrape the eye sockets by pressing the temple chakra!"

Everyone in the audience fainted collectively: "..."

Wang Aiqing coughed and said: "What martial arts are not martial arts? This general only wants to make a lot of money, live in a luxury house, and go to brothels every day. Only then can we live up to a happy life!"

Duan Mingyu immediately raised his face and educated Wang Aiqing: "Aiqing, life is not about being alive. It is enough to have a drink, a meal, a big house to live in, and a luxury car to drive. The most important thing in life is to be with love. Your people, live with the one you love forever!"

"Young general, I'm ashamed." Wang Aiqing bowed her head feeling ashamed.

"By the way, when it comes to this matter, the champion suddenly thought of it. We are no longer the old government soldiers system. The government soldiers can farm by themselves on weekdays, but what we need now are permanent troops, not half-farmers and half-soldiers. Fubing, so the personal problems of the soldiers need to be resolved urgently. This battle may start someday, so it is good to save a seed and a little incense." Duan Mingyu chattered for a long time, sighing, feeling very emotional.

"Understood, Mr. Duan means that the soldiers will dedicate themselves to the motherland at any time, and the permanent troops don't have enough time to fall in love, so it's a big problem, right." Fang Wenzhong really deserves to be the talent handpicked by Duan Mingyu , hit the nail on the head right away.

"Not bad, not bad, that's what I mean, Fang Wenzhong, the number one scholar will post an emergency notice in the barracks immediately. As for the content, I say, you write it." Duan Mingyu has a lot of ghost ideas, but he searches for more ideas.

After Fang Wenzhong finished grinding the ink, he began to write unhurriedly. First of all, there are two large characters: notice.

As Duan Mingyu uttered every word, Fang Wenzhong's pen moved vigorously. In the end, he saw dozens of large characters written densely on a piece of paper: exam tomorrow, subject: talk about love, purpose: inherit the family, content: outdoor sex , Location: In the grassy area by the river, Requirements: Bring your own straw mat, no underwear, no bra, two groups, fast movements, and handsome postures.

Duan Mingyu nodded: "Well, that's right. This number one scholar will add another couplet. The first couplet is about a male hero single-handedly bravely breaking into a bottomless pit, and the second couplet is about a female hero attacking and capturing Cyclops alive. Let's add a horizontal criticism, "****! "

Everyone was decisively messed up in the wind...

At that time, I was down for a day, and Xiao Ming's father took Xiao Ming to dinner.

"My lord, there are special cooks in our barracks." Wang Aiqing raised her hand in a low voice.

"Ahem, what kind of dishes can this chef cook?" Duan Mingyu asked.

"My lord, here is the menu." Wang Aiqing hurriedly handed the menu to Duan Mingyu.

Duan Mingyu took the menu and looked at it for a long time, and finally ordered various dishes on the menu randomly, and muttered while ordering: "Fried chicken, stewed fish, stewed mushroom soup, pork knuckle, spiced meatballs... the above No need, just make me three bowls of ramen.

Fang Wenzhong and Wang Aiqing raised their middle fingers together: "Your sister..."

"What time is it? Why isn't the ramen I want served? I've been waiting for a long time." Duan Mingyu asked feebly, dizzy from hunger.

A fire-headed soldier ran in and reported: "Don't worry, don't worry, the master is pulling!"

Sure enough, after a while, the kitchen master walked into the barracks with three bowls of hot noodles, and said enthusiastically, "This is what I pulled just now, and it's still steaming, please eat, please eat!"

One sentence made Duan Mingyu and the three of them vomit at the same time, what are you doing, you pulled it, and we ate it while it was steaming hot water, what kind of nonsense are you talking about, I definitely lost my appetite.

……

Duan Mingyu is in a very bad mood, because today she is going to hold a parent meeting for Yang Zhaoniang. The ins and outs of the matter are that Yang Zhaoniang did not study well in school all day, and the teacher was very angry, so Duan Mingyu was going to lose face, and she had to hide it from her Wan Yanyan, otherwise Yang Zhaoniang would definitely starve for three days, and the consequences would be serious.

Fortunately, Duan Mingyu knows very well that when a woman did not come home, she told her husband that he was sleeping with a female friend, and her husband called her 10 best friends, and absolutely none of them knew about it. The man didn't come home, he told his wife that he was sleeping with a brother, and her wife called his 10 best friends, and 2 of them confirmed that his husband was sleeping at their house... and [-] said " His husband is still there."

After Duan Mingyu agreed with his subordinates on how to answer, he went to the school gate with a mournful face.

Duan Mingyu habitually went to the shop next to the school to buy a pack of Dazhonghua cigarettes produced by herself, and then handed two to the teacher to ease the tense atmosphere.

When Duan Mingyu was giving the money, he found that there were two pennies missing in his pocket. Duan Mingyu was very embarrassed, so he said to the waiter in the shop: You can also accept the two pennies, please find me a round number! "

The shop clerk said indifferently: "I'm sorry, we have to post it ourselves if there is a penny missing."

Duan Mingyu waved the folding fan in his hand, pointed at the waiter's nose angrily, and said, "Can you do something? You get a p for 2 yuan, what can you buy!! What can you buy, What do you think, "

The waiter in the shop smiled very calmly: "Two pennies can buy a pack of rat poison, and after poisoning your whole family, you will still have half left!"

"You boy, why are you so rude? I will pay this brother's two cents for him." At critical moments, there are always good people who step forward, and a scholar who is a coquettish bag walks in gracefully. Smiling friendly to Duan Mingyu, at the same time, threw two large coins onto the counter.

Man buys cigarettes in store and lights one on the spot

Duan Mingyu decisively handed the scholar a cigarette, "Come here, brother, smoke one!"

The waiter continued: "Sir, please put out the cigarette, we don't allow smoking here!"

Duan Mingyu said suspiciously: "Didn't I buy this cigarette from you!"

The waiter said, "So what, we still sell toilet paper here."