The first tumor in football

Chapter 225 Complete Atletico Madrid

"Messi couldn't sprint 19 kilometers per hour when he was 36." Song Wen poured mineral water on his head. "Every time you curse now, you will be spared one knife in the game."

Savage stared at the sports data report in a daze: throughout the entire night of training, their confrontation success rate was only 23%, far below the season average of 68%.

The most fatal thing is that among the seven breakthrough routes simulated by Song Wen, four of them directly led to goal losses.

"You know what's the scariest thing?" Song Wen pointed to the timer on his calf. "Mbappe is 0.3 seconds faster than me."

This statement is not because Song Wen is being modest, it is true.

Although he knows that his speed can still be improved and he will surpass Mbappe sooner or later, but so far, he is still a little slower than the French tortoise.

The locker room fell into silence, and the veterans finally stopped laughing.

Godin quietly picked up his shin guards, then suddenly took out his cell phone and called home: "Send me the bottle of Cuban cigars in my safe - yes, for that little bastard as sparring fee."

When the first ray of sunlight climbed up the east stand, Atletico Madrid players lay sprawled on the grass.

Song Wen was still practicing free kicks, and every time he swung his leg, there was a sound of breaking through the air. Godin squinted his eyes for a while, and suddenly kicked Savage awake from his snoring:

"See? That guy's ankle swings at the same angle as Mbappe when he shoots."

"Are you crazy?"

“No,” the old captain stuffed a handful of painkillers into his mouth, “I’m learning how not to be a fossil.”

When the net was overturned for the Nth time, Simeone laughed out loud in the coaching booth.

He knew that these old guys whose arrogance had been crushed would build the strongest wall of sighs.

Looking at the team's atmosphere, Simeone was very pleased.

He originally thought that Song Wen's joining would inevitably cause huge conflicts in the locker room.

And the fact is, that was indeed the case when Song Wen first arrived.

But in just one week, Atletico Madrid has become united as one.

A group of people in their twenties or even thirties were ordered around by a "kid" who was not even eighteen years old and was not yet an adult. These people did not feel that there was anything wrong.

At that time, Simeone even thought of countless words to communicate with players from all sides and deal with conflicts in the locker room.

As a result, he didn't even need to do anything, Song Wen had already taken care of everything.

The reason for all this, in addition to Song Wen's unparalleled strength to crush and conquer, is more because this kid is really good at being a human being.

What Simeone never knew was that

Song Wen, who traveled through time, was a man who had experienced the baptism of the Celestial Empire's workplace in his previous life.

He is really good at dealing with human relationships.

With absolute strength in his hands, Song Wen used the method of giving a slap and then a date to the extreme.

-

While Cork was squatting in the shower scrubbing his shin guards, Song Wen wandered in with two bottles of cold beer.

"I heard your daughter wants Messi's autograph?" The boy knocked the bottle on the shelf, and the water drops slid down the bottle into the drain. "I'll help you get it next time there's a national derby."

The Spanish midfielder's hand paused.

Three days ago, during the free kick practice, he had an argument with Song Wen due to his stubbornness. At this moment, there were still scratches on the opponent's socks caused by his studs.

"I want Suarez's." Koke suddenly spoke up, his mouth twitching to hold back a laugh, "She changed her idol last month."

Song Wen's hand froze in mid-air as he was twisting the bottle cap: "Why the hell should you have told me earlier! I just put Suarez's front teeth on the second-hand website!"

The bitter taste of hops wrapped in steam spread throughout the locker room.

When Koke imitated Song Wen's elevator ball leg swing for the Nth time, Griezmann's hands were shaking as he took a sneak shot through the crack of the door - God knows how this die-hard who had rejected Real Madrid's invitation suddenly became the number one Wen fan in the locker room.

-

The day the Uruguayan discovered that the Cuban cigars in his locker had been turned into humidors, it was freezing raining on the training ground.

"A 38-year-old man's lungs can't stand the torture." Song Wen put the e-cigarette into the captain's hand, and the real-time heart rate monitoring was jumping on the screen. "Try this, the nicotine content is lighter than your mistress's perfume."

Godin squinted at the "El Capitán" engraved on the pipe, remembering that when he was practicing heading last week, this bastard was holding an iPad and said sarcastically: "If you can head another 30, you can change your career to become a trampoline coach next season."

What’s even more ironic is that he received an email from the Sports Medicine Center that night - Song Wen had made an appointment for him for a full set of cervical spine physiotherapy.

-

When the Croatian dented the tactical board for the seventh time, Song Wen walked in with an X-ray.

"Last week's tackle," the boy put the film in front of his eyes, "the tibia crack is 0.3 mm, enough to keep you bedridden for three months."

Savage's pupils trembled.

He played the entire match with an injury, and the hidden dangers that the team doctor didn't notice were discovered by this kid with his naked eyes.

"Next time you get a red card," Song Wen slapped the pain-relieving plaster on his bruised knee, "I will photoshop your Champions League highlights into a Kill Bill trailer."

Three days later, Savage received an anonymous express delivery - a complete set of black belt exam materials, with a note attached: "You have to take the exam for professional title even if you kick people."

-

When the Frenchman discovered the limited edition F50 in the locker, Song Wenzhen was squatting on the ground gluing his cracked old combat boots.

"They were given to me by my sponsor, but they are the wrong size." The boy said without even looking up, "If you dare to sell them second-hand, I will tell L'Equipe that you are wearing pirated shoes."

Griezmann's fingertips brushed over the embroidered "7" on the inside of the tongue, which was his first number at Real Sociedad.

After missing a one-on-one opportunity in the last round of the league, Song Wen played his 2014 goal highlights on loop in the locker room, with the background music being the Chinese version of "Chasing Dreams".

The most heartbreaking thing was the post-match interview: "Antoine just wanted to prove that he was better than the game character." - This perfectly resolved the public opinion crisis caused by his addiction to "FIFA".

——When the old captain was lifting weights in the gym until the early morning, Song Wen squatted between the barbell plates holding a tactical book.

"Simeone said you'll be an assistant coach next season?" The boy squeezed energy gel into his sports bottle. "Those kids in the youth training camp need a teacher to teach them how to foul gracefully."

Gabi's clenched fists slowly unclenched.

Two weeks ago, a mistake in the Champions League led to a goal conceded. Song Wen edited a collection of his twenty years of defense overnight, and the caption "Twenty-meter defensive line artist" became a trending search on Twitter.

"The first lesson after becoming a coach," Song Wen projected the secretly filmed training video onto the wall, "is to teach them how to hide alcohol in the locker room - your method of using a layered freezer is too bad."

As the morning light pierced through the clouds, Gabi touched the bottle of whiskey engraved on the deep end of the locker - "To the Most Cunning Bullfighter".

-

And if we say that all the team members have been taken care of by Song Wen to some extent.

Then Simeone is the only one who has not received special care from Song Wen.

Even many times, when he and Song Wen had disputes about tactics, the young man would curse him mercilessly.

Of course, in private.

You see, this guy always knows how to handle things so well.

But Simeone doesn't care about that.

Because he knew that he was the one who benefited the most from Song Wen.

Nowadays, in high-level meetings, he can always sit in the most prominent position with an air of superiority.

It was because during the winter transfer window, he argued and almost frantically expressed his demand to buy Song Wen.

And now, it has been proven that spending 200 million to buy Song Wen is simply Atletico Madrid -

No, it should be said that it is the most cost-effective and best value deal in world football!
-

Tik Tok live broadcast room.

"Dear viewers, you are now watching the first leg of the quarter-finals of the 2017/2018 UEFA Champions League! The two teams are the French Ligue champions Paris Saint-Germain and the Spanish Liga iron-blooded team Atletico Madrid! I am the commentator Zhan Jun!"

"I am the commentator Fan Zhiyi!"

The camera in the live broadcast room swept across the Parc des Princes, and a giant TIFO on the south stand slowly unfolded - under the graffiti of Neymar wearing angel wings and stepping on the Atletico Madrid logo, it was clearly written "Samba God Killer".

Zhan Jun adjusted his glasses and joked: "Paris fans have brought the art exhibition to the stadium. The painting is more abstract than Neymar's rainbow dribbling."

Fan Zhiyi slammed the table and said, "Don't tell me, if the thing under Neymar's feet in this painting wasn't the Atletico Madrid logo, I would have thought it was the socks that were kicked off by Song Wen last week!"

Zhan Jun kept refreshing the interface, his eyes lit up, and he said:

"We see that Paris Saint-Germain's starting lineup has come out!"

"Let's look at the goalkeeper position first!" Zhan Jun pulled up the data panel. "25-year-old French national goalkeeper Areola is 1 meters tall. His save success rate in Ligue 95 this season is 81%. He saved Messi's penalty in the Champions League group stage! But what's interesting is that he was late for training last month because he ate croissants, and was punished by the Paris team doctor to do frog jumps for an hour."

Fan Zhiyi added: "This guy really saves with his belly! In last year's Champions League final, he lifted up his jersey after saving a one-on-one shot - wow, there was butter residue on his abdominal muscles! Fans say he is the 'goalkeeper raised in a Paris bakery'!"

"The central defender combination is Paris captain Thiago Silva and Marquinhos!" Zhan Jun pointed to the heat map, "Silva's number of interceptions in the Champions League this season ranks second among all central defenders, but the time spent on hairdressing is also in the top three. Fans joke that he is the 'Brazilian hair gel quality inspector' who specializes in delivering samples to sponsors."

"On the left is the 4500 million-pound Kurzawa, and on the right is Alves, who comes with the championship buff!" Zhan Jun magnified the running data, "Kurzawa's average sprint speed is 35km/h, 0.5 faster than Neymar. However, Paris fans complained that he 'can only run in a straight line, and changes direction by running into the wall', like a bumper car equipped with GPS."

Fan Zhiyi added: "Alves? He's just an antique vase that can play football! Last month, when he was dribbling through the field, his shin guards flew out and hit the camera. The sponsor customized a titanium alloy reinforced version for him overnight - now his shin guards are more expensive than his bulletproof vest!"

"Midfield core Verratti!" Zhan Jun called up the passing chart. "This guy has a 92% passing success rate this season, but he has a unique skill at 1 meters tall - dribbling past opponents. In the last match against Lyon, he dribbled past three of the opponent's midfielders in a row, and the opponent's coach was so angry that he asked UEFA to provide players with crotch protectors after the game!"

Fan Zhiyi clapped his legs and laughed: "Rabiot is even more outrageous! He was playing FIFA with Atletico Madrid in the locker room last week, and after Song Wen scored an own goal, he smashed the controller in anger. Now Atletico Madrid fans call him an 'electronic warfare traitor'!"

"And veteran Thiago Motta!" Zhan Jun pulled out a screenshot from social media. "This old buddy did something big right after renewing his contract - he used Neymar's hair gel as shoe polish, and almost caused a 'first-class bloodbath' in the locker room!"

"Left winger - Mr. 2.2 million, Neymar!" Zhan Jun's voice suddenly rose. "Although he is known as the 'successor to Messi', he also ranks first in the number of dives in the Champions League this season. But the statistics don't lie - he is first in the Champions League dribbling list, and the amount of hairspray he uses is enough to wax the Eiffel Tower! Netizens say he is a 'combination of a rainbow dribbling player and a washing machine'!"

Fan Zhiyi winked: "Cavani, the center forward! The Uruguayan striker dyed his hair blonde today. He has enough headbands to knit sweaters for the statues in the Louvre! But the statistics don't lie - his penalty success rate in the Champions League this season is 89%, but his slap-up highlights have received over million hits. Fans joke that he is an 'offside artist'!"

"Mbappe, right winger!" Zhan Jun switched to the speed comparison chart. "The French tortoise can sprint 10.4 meters in seconds, but recently he has become obsessed with a new trick - 'brake-style dribbling'. In the last round of the league, he stopped too hard and his shoes were embedded in the grass!"

"Finally, look at the bench!" Fan Zhiyi suddenly suppressed his laughter, "Draxler was sitting there wrapped in a blanket, holding "Being and Time" in his hands. The Paris team doctor said this is 'German philosophical therapy' - as long as Song Wen is on the field, he will automatically trigger 'stretcher PTSD'!"

The live broadcast room barrage exploded instantly:

[Did Neymar borrow this hairstyle from the cleaning lady? 】

[Mr. Mu: Today I want to let Song Wen know what money power is! ]

[Silva: I will get angry with anyone who mentions hairspray again! ]

[Song Wen, look! The three of them in the midfield combined don’t have as long legs as you! ]

Fan Zhiyi stared at the tactical diagram and suddenly frowned: "This lineup of Paris is unbalanced in offense and defense! The front trident is worth 4 million, and the back line is only 1.5 million in total. Isn't this a lame giant?"

Zhan Jun pushed his glasses and said, "This is exactly what Emery is trying to do! Use offense to cover up the defensive loopholes. As long as they score one more goal than their opponents, it will be fine. However..." He pulled up the data, "When they faced iron-blooded defenses like Atletico Madrid in the Champions League knockout stage, their winning rate was only 33%."

After Zhan Jun finished speaking, he looked at the screen again and said excitedly:

"Atletico Madrid's starting lineup has also been announced!"

"We can see that in the core position of the midfield is our No. 17 player Song Wen! In front of him are Griezmann and Diego Costa."

"On both sides of Song Wen are Gabi, the left midfielder, and Koke, the right midfielder."

"On the defensive line, veteran Godin is still in place, partnered with Savic. Right back Juanfran and left back Luis are also familiar faces to us."

"In front of Atletico's goal stands their goalkeeper, Oblak, who has the highest save rate in La Liga!"

Looking at Atletico's starting lineup, Fan Zhiyi seemed very satisfied. He nodded and said:

"Atletico Madrid also took this game very seriously today and can be said to have a complete lineup!"

(End of this chapter)