Diary of the Improper Monster Girl Transformation.

Chapter 484 Is becoming a "loyal dog" enough? (8K)
"Being loved?"

Sfanie stopped, turned around, and stared blankly at her reflection in the mirror. She slowly said, "What...what do you mean by this? Are you mocking me?"

Although the dark elf didn't say it outright, the meaning conveyed by his icy, chilling gaze was quite clear—say no more.

To shut up.

"What do I mean?"

However, the mirror spirit seemed to have lost all emotional intelligence at this moment, and obliviously replied, "It doesn't mean anything special. I just wanted to tell you that you also deserve to be loved—"

bang.

The person in the mirror was talking eloquently when suddenly the scene before their eyes began to spin.

The mirror, bearing the reflection, was violently flung away by the hardened flesh, tumbling several times in the air before slamming heavily against the treehouse wall.

Bang!
Then it bounced to the ground, slid for several meters, and landed face up in front of Sfanie's black boots.

"Oh? You're already making your move? Sfanie, are you... in a hurry?"

"If you can't even endure this, then I really can't help you!"

"Listen to me, don't be so angry, okay? If you feel insulted, I can apologize to you~"

Lucaria's mocking laughter came from the mirror; she seemed completely unperturbed by the humiliation.

His incessant chatter only seemed to fuel his excitement.

"Shut up."

The heel of the boot lifted up and ruthlessly stepped on the smooth mirror surface, stomping hard on the face of the person in the mirror.

click!
The heel slammed heavily onto the mirror, driving it into the ground, but it didn't shatter; it remained perfectly intact.

This is not an ordinary round mirror, but a gift personally given by the Mirror Demon, which can be regarded as a small part of her true form.

It would be very difficult to break it unless legendary-level power was used.

Aside from being hard enough, it has virtually no other capabilities, leaving only the function of "face-to-face" communication.

"oops."

The person in the mirror tilted their head at the last moment, narrowly avoiding being stepped on in the face by a heel, and laughed with a tilted head: "I couldn't stop myself and accidentally stepped on... or something, I don't think you would say that, right?"

"..." Sfanie frowned silently, not saying a word, but also showing no intention of moving her heel away.

Instead, she rubbed her heel from side to side and continued to exert force.

Click...

Hearing that the mirror was finally showing signs of being overwhelmed, the person in the mirror twitched slightly at the corner of their mouth, coughed, and gave a dry laugh.

"Um, this is still my body, isn't it a bit impolite of you to do this?"

Lucaria gave Svanie a rather resentful look and pouted, "Aren't you being a little disrespectful to an epic-level powerhouse like me?"

You should step on Herbert instead!
I never feel happy about being stepped on.

"respect?"

Sfanie sneered at her words and said indifferently, "You're talking to me about respect? Have you, an epic-level expert, respected me?"

Do I also deserve to be loved?

What right do you have to say that?

"Well, well..."

Lucaria thought for a moment, then said hesitantly, "At least I didn't use your face to receive it, which is already very kind of me."

Miss Mirror is currently wearing Svannie's face, so if she was stepped on just now, it's really no different from Svannie having her face stepped on.

"Humph."

Sfanie gave a noncommittal snort, too lazy to pay attention to the other party's unconvincing explanation.

"So, what do you know?"

Sfanie stood on the mirror, looking down at her reflection, and said indifferently, "What do you know about me?"

"Ah ha ha……"

Lucaria chuckled and said playfully, "Oh, well, aren't we friends? Friends know a lot about each other..."

"We are not friends."

Sfanie interrupted Lucaria indifferently, coldly saying, "Please don't pretend we're so familiar."

"Although Herbert hopes that we can become friends with each other and not be hostile, right now... we are not friends yet."

“I’m not the kind of person who can get along well with other people, and I can’t do what he expects.”

She gazed at her unchanging smile in the reflection and slowly squeezed out the merciless words: "I'm just forcing myself to endure it, trying to act like a sociable person, trying to be friends with them."

"As for you, I only chatted with you for a few minutes under his arrangement, letting you waste some of my time."

"That's our relationship, nothing more."

Do you really think I enjoy chatting? Or that I'd like to listen to your boring stories?

The dark elf slowly raised his heel, then brought it down heavily.

Boom!
“Originally, I planned to continue to be patient and wait for Herbert to come to terms with reality, but now I’ve changed my mind… I’m not going to try to get along with you.”

The coldness in her eyes intensified, but she silently withdrew her heel and turned away without hesitation.

enough.

enough.

This game of pretend no longer needs to be played out.

I am still all alone.

For someone like me, solitude is my destiny.

Sfanie knew exactly what she had said.

Once these heartless words are spoken, the other party will absolutely not show any kindness to you again.

"……hehe."

Sfanie was well aware of her stress response, gave a self-deprecating laugh, and didn't bother to explain anything.

She doesn't need this kindness.

She doesn't need this... "sympathy".

What's with this talk of "the right to be loved"?
She didn't have that kind of thing.

With her depraved background, dark thoughts, withdrawn personality, and the sins of her family, what right does she have to be loved?
How could that be?

Never.

But it doesn't matter, Sfanie has already accepted this fact.

awkward.

My personality is just so awkward and ugly.

This is her, without a doubt.

Sfanie had long been accustomed to this fate.

This "distortion" is her very being.

I'll continue to be alone, immersing myself in my research, and helping him as much as I can.

"..."

Sfanie narrowed her eyes and silently pursed her lips.

However, if this happens, even Luccaria won't come near anymore...

"Oh, don't be so sensitive!"

But just as Sfanie's mood was about to sink, her usual lighthearted laughter came from behind her: "It's okay if you don't plan to get along with me, as long as I want to get along with you, isn't that enough?"

"Are you right?"

The round mirror floated up from the ground and slowly flew into Sfanie's hand, winking at her.

"you……"

Sfanie looked more confused than ever before, her brows furrowed, unable to understand the Mirror Demon's actions.

why?
Why are you coming closer?

you……

Is it really that boring?

Are we really that short of people to chat with?

She doesn't understand.

After thinking it over, Sfanie could only take Luccalia's insistence as a way of trying to keep her company and make her continue chatting with her.

But why go to such lengths?

What about your dignity as an epic warrior?
The dark elf was silent for a moment, then his tone softened considerably, no longer so harsh, and he slowly said:
"...If you need someone to chat with, Eldar has a new batch of residents who can become your chat partners."

Sfanie didn't say it directly, but the unspoken message was clear—let me go.

Go find someone else, stop bothering me.

The dark elves' personalities are indeed very twisted, making it impossible for them to understand the other party's persistence.

But coincidentally, Miss Mirror Demon is also someone who doesn't need anyone else's understanding and does things her own way.

Lucalia didn't respond, but said directly, "Svanee, I understand your thoughts and I know your current state."

"You are trying to escape."

"You are not good at dealing with the kindness of others, and you don't know how to deal with this unfamiliar emotion, so you deal with it in your own way."

The reflection in the mirror was no longer smiling; it truly resembled a mirror, reflecting Sfanie's expression, which was a mixture of crying and laughing.

There was hesitation, there was joy, but there was more fear.

There was no disgust.

He said he hated being friends with me, but the emotions in his eyes betrayed his true feelings.

"How pitiful."

Lucaria looked at Svanie, whose expression was complicated and bitter, and said softly, "In a place like the Dark Regions, which is full of conspiracies, your way of dealing with this is fine, and can even be called perfect."

How can we effectively avoid those who use goodwill as a guise to hide malice?
I do not accept all "goodwill" from others.

In this way, even if someone harbors malicious intentions, they will not be able to succeed.

In dark places, this is the most correct and effective way to protect oneself.

"But the problem is, you're not there anymore, are you?"

Lucaria pointed out the problem, gesturing for Svanee to look at the ground and her surroundings, reminding her, "This is where you are now."

"Because of Herbert, although this place is still nominally a prison, it is no longer a place that confines us."

Sfanie remained silent, unable to find any words to refute.

Indeed, as Lucaria said, the rules here have long been defunct.

Although the Third Discipline Center is still a cage that restricts everyone from going out at will, in reality... well, those who know, know.

One minute a giant dragon comes to drop by and freeload a meal, the next a mirror demon comes in and starts talking to itself, and then a vampire is over there hissing and licking a jar...

Compared to the centuries of solitary constraints of the past, the disciplinary institute under Herbert's leadership emphasized freedom and laxity.

What kind of prison? It's more like an amusement park.

My guardedness here is really unnecessary.

"So you don't need to be so nervous anymore. You can totally accept other people's kindness with peace of mind~"

Seeing Sfanie's thoughtful expression, Lucaria knew that her persuasion had been somewhat effective, and continued, "As for my thoughts, don't be too nervous. I really just care about you, and I'm not lying to you about that."

"I just wanted you to remind yourself, to make you understand that everyone in this disciplinary institution right now, including you and me, is entitled to be loved."

“We may have committed different sins in the past and carried various sins, but since we are still alive, we still have the right to atone.”

The Mirror Demon secretly pursed its lips and muttered under its breath, "No, in the end, wasn't the old guy's purpose in letting us live from the very beginning to make us find a way to atone for our sins?"

That terrifying being... was ridiculously strong.

The legendary-level monster girls were alright; my impression of the Archbishop was that he was powerful, but I didn't know exactly how powerful he was.

But the epic-level monster girls knew even better just how terrifying and invincible the Archbishop was.

A mortal body, yet comparable to the gods.

Do you think such an unfathomable being could capture you and not kill you? Or is it because of its kindness that it simply lets you endure until you die?
Are you kidding me?!

If he really wanted to kill them, that old man could probably do it with a flick of his finger. Why go through all this trouble?

As for being kind-hearted...

The guys on the side of justice are indeed kind-hearted, but that's only when they're dealing with the innocent and the pitiful.

Those guys never show mercy when facing evil; they're all masters of underhanded tactics.

"Atonement?"

Sfanie frowned slightly, seemingly lost in thought, and unconsciously murmured, "Atonement..."

Is it a sin?
What sins do I bear?

Do I really understand this?
"The most important thing for atonement is to truly realize the mistakes you have made."

As if sensing her confusion, the person in the mirror kindly reminded her, "And to do this... you need to find your 'heart'."

"Of course, the heart I'm referring to isn't the physical heart, but the spiritual heart."

"Although you may seem to have no problems right now, and don't seem like someone who is missing a 'heart,' in reality, you are incomplete, missing a part."

As Sfanie listened to Lucaria's words, her expression gradually became serious.

She realized that she seemed to be falling behind the other person's train of thought.

"..."

She really hoped the other person could be more specific, preferably explaining it in language the monk could understand.

Can you please not speak in such an idealistic way?
"How about it, is it a little hard to understand?"

The mirror demon thought for a moment, then said, "Let's put it more bluntly—right now, you're just an empty shell, you don't know what to do at all."

"Besides wanting to explore the limits of what flesh and blood can achieve, what else do you have left?"

"What do you like? What do you hate? What do you most want to do? What do you least want to do? And so on. Do you know the answers to these questions? Can you give an answer?"

Finally, Lucaria flicked her hand, pointed at Sfanie's nose, and shouted, "All these answers combined are your 'heart'!"

"Now, do you understand?"

Sfanie's expression grew even more serious as she looked at the agitated Lucaria.

"..."

So what do these problems have to do with the heart?! She still didn't understand.

Sfanie really wanted to complain and ask for clarification.

"Wait, you still don't understand? No, no way, this..." The mirror demon sensed something was wrong and snapped out of its smug state.

Lucaria: Still don't understand?

Sfanie: What do I know?
The two stared at each other for a while, then the mirror demon silently looked away, its lips twitching.

broken.

This is awkward.

This guy's illness is more serious than I thought!
"Ahem, um, this..."

Lucaria coughed to cover her embarrassment and scratched her head, saying, "Forget it, you'll have to figure this out yourself. Think about it carefully by yourself, it's very important!"

After saying that, she added casually, "Don't think this is a small matter! After all, a person without intention can't atone for their sins."

Although, you know, and those who understand, understand.

When faced with a problem that cannot be explained, one should say something vague and ambiguous, and then try to change the subject.

"And... hehe."

Lucaria gave Sfanie a meaningful look and pointedly reminded her, "With your heart so unfeeling now, you won't be able to be fully accepted by him."

"I think you've noticed his avoidance, haven't you? Haven't you been wondering why he hasn't accepted your advances?"

Ok?
Sfanie's attention was successfully diverted, and she frowned as she asked, "You... know the reason?"

"Of course, it's because you have no heart!" the mirror demon said confidently, its eyes full of certainty.

Yes, that's right, really, I'm not lying to you!

Whether Svanee believes it or not, Lucaria herself does.

"..."

Seeing the Mirror Demon's certainty, Svani nodded slowly, seemingly lost in thought.

Did she believe it?
Lucaria blinked quietly, a sense of relief washing over her.

Haha!

She believed it!
That's great, I thought the conversation was going to fall apart.

Lucaria did intend to give Svanie some pointers, to help her change her fixed mindset and stop being so tense.

For this reason, all her efforts and words were genuine, and I sincerely hope that Sfanie can get rid of this "unfeeling" state.

But those things said to change the subject... don't have much credibility.

She doesn't even understand those love-related issues herself, so how could she be qualified to lecture others?

It's pure fabrication.

You certainly deserve to be loved, but who loves you and who you love... well, I don't know!

There is a bottom line, but only a small one.

They meant well, but they weren't exactly reliable.

Feeling she had successfully intimidated the other party, Lucaria took the initiative to start a conversation: "Also, as for the question you asked me before, 'What do I actually know?'"

After the topic came up, her attitude suddenly changed, and she immediately became smug and hummed.

"Hmph, that's a good question! I'll have to explain it to you properly."

"I know everything!"

"I, [Lucaria the Mirror Image], am a witness to history!"

The Mirror Demons proudly declared their identities, saying nonchalantly, "I am a witness to the tragedy of your clan, no, even to the tragedy of your Dark Elf race!"

"When your ancestors came down from that tree, I..."

“Wait a minute, I don’t want to hear this.” Svanee shook her head, ruthlessly interrupting Lucaria’s passionate speech.

?

do not!

Lucaria quickly said, "No, I'll tell you what you want to hear! What happened back then is really interesting, you have to believe me..."

But he was interrupted halfway through his sentence.

“No, Lady Lucaria, it’s not that I’m not listening, I mean… could we reschedule?”

Sfanie smiled helplessly, lowered her eyes, shook her head with an unreadable expression, and said softly, "I'm sorry, please let me have some peace and quiet for a while."

"Now, I need to think carefully and find the 'heart' you mentioned."

Sfanie's mood was quite low, which made Luccalia abandon her idea of ​​forcing the conversation to continue, and she immediately changed her tune, saying, "Oh, I see!"

However, although Miss Mirror Demon did not insist, she suddenly said in a strange tone, "Of course I have no problem, but... I think you probably can't enjoy this peace and quiet by yourself right now."

Ok?
The person in the mirror winked with a smile and said teasingly, "Don't know why? Haha! That's because someone doesn't want you to... um!"

"Speak up."

A tall figure silently appeared before Svannie, snatched away the talkative and meddlesome magic mirror, casually tossed it aside, and fell into the teleportation portal that appeared out of thin air.

"Hey, hey, hey—I did the work!"

As she soared through the air, Luccaria cried out repeatedly, "You can't be so heartless! I want to witness it here! I want to see it all—"

Click.

The gate closed, and the Mirror Demon's calls immediately disappeared.

Svannie, who had been lost in thought because of the Mirror Demon's words, came back to her senses and only then did she notice that Herbert had appeared beside her at some point.

She looked at Herbert, instinctively wanting to reveal the allure she usually feigned, but for some reason, she couldn't muster the emotion.

"..."

After several failed attempts, she could only numbly twitch the corners of her mouth and whisper, "Herbert...you, you're back."

Normally, Svannie would probably use her dark elf talents to seduce Herbert, making her loyal dog fulfill his duties.

But now, Sfanie can't make that expression.

She didn't know what went wrong.

Was it because of what Lucaria said?

Or is it because of the "heart"?

"Well, I'm here."

Herbert didn't tease her; he answered softly and then quietly looked down into Sfanie's eyes.

Sfanie neither dodged nor moved closer; she simply stood still, looking back up.

"..."

"..."

Neither of them spoke. In the silent treehouse, only the faint sounds of their breathing and a soft clicking sound could be heard—the sound of a hungry dragon feasting in the distance.

The carefree Valentina was completely unaffected by the emotions of others, and was entirely immersed in the pure joy of alternating movements of her upper and lower teeth.

She is truly happy.

Sfanie, on the other hand, was truly tormented, her mind a complete mess, utterly clueless about what she should do.

"Ugh……"

In the unbearable silence, Herbert finally sighed first, muttering to himself with a headache, "This is really... I don't know what to say."

"I'm speechless."

what?
Is Herbert angry?

Sfanie was startled and hurriedly tried to explain.

"I……"

"Ah, don't misunderstand."

But before she could explain, Herbert waved her hand to interrupt her: "I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about them, who put me in a very awkward position."

"Eh?"

they?

Sfanie vaguely guessed that one of them was Lucaria, but she didn't expect there to be others besides her.

"No need to guess, it's Fremei."

Herbert smirked and sighed helplessly, "She noticed your problem too. She just reminded me to pay more attention to you."

“When you fought together this time, Fremy discovered your hidden emotions.”

"I noticed that although you seem relaxed on the surface, you are actually very uneasy inside, always on guard, and suspicious of everyone—don't be nervous, I don't think it's a big deal either."

"She wasn't blaming you; she just wanted me to help you get out of your current confusion so you could become friends with her."

He looked at the dark elf whose eyes were filled with confusion and bewilderment, and smiled, "Do you find it strange? Are you not used to being cared for like this by others?"

Sfanie pursed her lips and nodded with difficulty.

She really wasn't used to this feeling.

Although he had a good relationship with Eliza, his cellmate on the same floor, he didn't pay much attention to her inner thoughts.

The vampire lady was very enthusiastic, but very politely refrained from probing deeper secrets.

Valentina is even more so.

Although Miss Dragon's passionate personality is like a dazzling little sun, she never forces others to be like her and respects other people's personalities and emotions.

As it turned out, the seemingly gentlest mermaid was actually the most forceful.

Because in Freyme's view, allowing Svanee to continue this pretense would be the cruelest thing for her.

"By the way, do you know how she described it?"

While Sfanie was lost in thought, Herbert curled his lip and snorted, "She said...we're both like children who're afraid of being abandoned, like stray puppies picked up and taken home, tsk."

He grinned irritably and couldn't help but complain, "It's one thing to think you don't deserve to be loved, but what kind of description is 'puppy'? What do I have to do with dogs?"

Damn it, is that the kind of word that sounds like "that" meant to describe me?

snort!
Woman, you just want to seduce my body and treat me like a helpless and weak little puppy to be abused.

Herbert secretly made a grudge against Freyme, planning to settle the score with her later.

"As for Lucaria, although she may be looking for some amusement, she does genuinely hope that you can get out of your current situation."

Herbert sighed: "And the reason I'm speechless is not because I don't want to do things their way, but because I don't like having my plans disrupted."

Should I say they are kind-hearted, or should I say they are meddling?

“I understand their concerns, but…”

He narrowed his eyes, a slight disdainful smile playing on his lips, and scoffed, "Aren't you underestimating me a little?"

"In their eyes, am I someone they need to worry about? They can't even notice something like this. Am I some kind of immature child?"

Herbert raised his hand and gently stroked the elf's earlobe, his slender fingers lightly touching the increasingly pale skin.

"They thought I was deliberately avoiding the issue, that I was intentionally avoiding you... Ha, how naive."

"You should know better than outsiders who make wild guesses, right?"

He gazed into Sfanie's eyes and whispered gently, "I'm just waiting for you to adjust gradually; I don't want to push you too hard."

"I'm not here to forcefully interfere according to their ideas, but to ask for your opinion."

他 说:

Are you ready to let me get closer?

! ! ?

Upon hearing this question, the dark elf suddenly felt an urge to cry.

She pressed her lips together tightly, unconsciously clenching her fists, trying to suppress this fragile reaction.

He didn't think the time was right, nor did he talk about the right to be loved, nor did he forcibly pull her to his side.

Instead, he quietly asked her what she thought.

Now, may I move a little closer to you?
Sfanie was indeed flattered by the care shown to her by Lucaria and the others, but she also felt quite confused and uncomfortable.

That was indeed genuine goodwill.

But is this kind of forced care really the right thing to do?
Isn't the kind of love that is arbitrarily imposed on others a form of arrogance?

"..."

Sfanie finally managed to calm the turmoil in her heart and looked up at those gentle gray eyes.

After a moment, she finally made up her mind, slowly nodded, and took a step forward.

"Ah."

Please come closer.

I want to get closer to you!
Herbert looked at the elf who had bumped into his arms, and without flinching, naturally wrapped his arms around her slender waist.

He gently put his arm around Sfanie, realizing that this was the first time he had formally embraced her.

The two embraced for a while, until Herbert felt the person in his arms relax a little, then he smiled and asked, "By the way, what exactly are your thoughts?"

"What do I think?"

Sfanie then reverted to her usual demeanor, smiled charmingly, stepped forward, and said with a smile, "...I want to be your 'loyal dog,' haven't I said that many times before?"

The dark elf's instincts flowed in her blood, allowing her to speak without any resistance; she even licked her lips provocatively.

This time, however, Herbert didn't dodge as before. Instead, he calmly nodded and remarked:
"Loyal dogs? Loyal dogs are indeed good, and they are what many people aspire to be."

"However, I just told Fremey that she could be a little more greedy and not suppress herself."

"This statement also applies to you."

Sfanie: ?

Want to be even more greedy?
How can one be even more greedy?
Herbert's smile grew even brighter as he looked at her puzzled expression.

"I mean-"

"Is simply being a 'loyal dog' enough for you?"

He lowered his head, looked into Sfanie's eyes, and asked with a pleasant smile:

"you……"

"Is that enough?"

Is this all your desires?

(End of this chapter)