Damn it, I'm in the garbage book I wrote

Chapter 813 Are you crazy!?

"They're insane, completely insane! They're all insane! I spoke to them politely, and they dared to defy me like that?"

After the grand court assembly, Emperor Jingtai was so angry that his face turned pale. He stood in his study and raged. The moment he uttered the proposal to reduce the power of the princes, the entire court erupted in chaos. Before the princes could even speak, officials at all levels jumped out and started arguing and complaining.

"Actually, it's not their fault." Old Zhang leaned against the side, looking down at the list of attendees for this grand court assembly. When he looked up, his face was full of smiles. "Right now, there are some people who hold absolute power in the court. This is not a good thing for officials."

"Who is in charge? Who can still be in charge?" At this point, Emperor Jingtai was a little irrational. He slammed his fist on the table and said, "Now is a time of good governance and harmony among the people. How can these people be so blind!"

"Who else could it be? In the past, officials relied on powerful families, but now those families have all left. They can only depend on the local vassal kings. Your Majesty, you must understand that not everyone studies diligently for over a decade to save the world. Even if they don't think of themselves, they will think of their descendants. Laws, precepts, and ambitions cannot contend with human nature." Old Zhang sat there and spoke eloquently: "Even I, when I was homeless and without a livelihood, could still have a sincere heart. But now I have a family and a home, so naturally I cannot be without scruples. The saying goes, 'Knowledge and action in harmony make one a sage,' but with so many people coming and going in the world, how many sages are there?"

Hearing Old Zhang's words, Emperor Jingtai calmed down. He pondered for a moment and said, "Then what about the matter of reducing the power of the princes? They really don't understand. If I don't reduce their power, someone else will. If I reduce it, they'll still have their lives, but if someone else does, they'll lose their heads. They're really clueless..."

Old Zhang laughed heartily: "Your Majesty, nearly two hundred families in Wei and Tang were slaughtered. Did they ever imagine they would lose their heads before they were slaughtered? Everyone thought it would be the same as before, with some being won over and others suppressed. Who knew that before they could even make a move, the knife was already on their heads. Right now, they think the royal family is as solid as a mountain. Firstly, the royal family was severely suppressed by the aristocratic families in recent years. Secondly, there are only a few members of the royal family who currently hold real power. The rest are just people indulging in pleasure and debauchery. Who would have thought that some heartless people wouldn't even leave these people indulging in pleasure and debauchery alive?"

"Ugh……"

"Your Majesty," Old Zhang suddenly interrupted Emperor Jingtai's spellcasting, "To be honest, normally speaking, if you weren't so incapable of making decisions, resulting in neither good nor bad political achievements; if you weren't so averse to wealth, lust, or power, only enjoying mugwort cakes and playing some Great Wei music; if you weren't so unable to recognize all your own ministers, causing you to always forget to reward the good and punish the evil; if you weren't so clearly aware that you couldn't possibly defeat Xia Daosheng, you would have been demoted several years ago and should now be confined to the late emperor's tomb, observing mourning day and night."

"You fucking bastard."

Emperor Jingtai pointed at Old Zhang and said, "You truly deserve to die. You have no respect for the emperor, and your crime deserves to be punished."

“If Your Majesty would really execute someone over just a few words, then Your Majesty should be imprisoned in front of the late Emperor’s tomb day and night to observe mourning.”

Emperor Jingtai was so angry he laughed. He put his hands on his hips and paced back and forth in the room: "Then what should we do now? And don't give me that crap. I don't want to hear you talk about how incompetent I am. I want to hear how we should handle this!"

"Your Majesty, I am not speaking of Your Majesty's incompetence, but rather of Your Majesty's ability to serve as a model emperor for all ages."

Old Zhang bowed and said, “Your Majesty may lack decisiveness, but you are good at recognizing and utilizing talent. If the division of the world into three kingdoms is an inevitable historical trend, then the current dominance of Great Wei is thanks to Your Majesty. Without Your Majesty’s foolish Spring Seedling Plan back then, there would be no loyal General of the Northeast, no General of the Pacification of the Japanese Pirates, and no Thousands of Sails Competing for Supremacy. Of course, Xia Daosheng and I might have joined Gao Shilian’s camp long ago. Xia Daosheng once said that one’s position determines one’s perspective. When we were in that position, you would be our villain.”

"hiss……"

Emperor Jingtai gasped at the thought of that scene. He knew his personality wasn't great, but compared to Xia Gou, it was far superior. If he had faced these two from the start, he wouldn't have been able to kill them or win the fight. That would have been disastrous.

Moreover, if that were the case, Xia Gou would have missed his chance with the late emperor, meaning that killing members of the royal family would have been as easy as killing members of aristocratic families.

Just thinking about it sends a chill down my spine; I feel like I'm going to die...

"If Your Majesty had not refrained from increasing taxes, expanding the harem, paying tribute, or seeking pleasure due to your selflessness, the people would not know who to blame for their sorrow and pain. Instead, they would have directed their anger at Your Majesty for the evils of the masses, and the people would certainly not have let Your Majesty off lightly. It is said that the country and the people are more important than the emperor, but the one who truly puts this into practice is Emperor Jingtai of the Great Wei. Of course, we know that this is because you are sometimes too carefree and forget about this matter, but a gentleman often judges by actions, not intentions."

“Zhang Aiqing, stop talking. Damn it.”

"If Your Majesty weren't so incapable of distinguishing between your subjects, spending half a day pondering the purpose of each memorial you review, there would surely be many more wrongful convictions and miscarriages of justice in the court. The late Emperor was magnanimous, yet he was still deceived at times, wrongly executing countless loyal and virtuous officials. But Your Majesty alone is indiscriminate in distinguishing between loyalty and treachery, never killing a single person. The officials are at ease, and when officials are at ease, they sometimes do some strange things. For example, the heinous Gao Shilian cast a divine lightning spell on Your Majesty before his death. What makes people human is precisely their unpredictability."

Emperor Jingtai sat there with his lips pursed, his face dark, because Old Zhang's words were truly unpleasant. He had spent half his life in the officialdom, even rising to the position of prime minister, yet his mouth still reeked of excrement. Wasn't this a kind of not forgetting one's original intention?

"What's the use of all this nonsense?" Emperor Jingtai cursed. "Damn it, do you think the annals will say a good word about me? Didn't Xia Daosheng kill people and count it against me? Do you think they'll write a single good word about me?"

Does it matter what they write?

As he spoke, Old Zhang walked to the bookshelf, found the newly compiled county gazetteer that had just been published last year, and then randomly picked out a county gazetteer from it, which was from a little-known county.

Old Zhang opened the first page and began to read: "In the third month of the seventh year of the Jingtai reign, Cao Town suffered a great fire, destroying 3,755 houses. The Emperor, pitying the common people, ordered its reconstruction and recruited craftsmen from all directions. Soup kitchens were set up until the following autumn harvest, and oxen and seeds were distributed. Displaced people were recruited to participate in the reconstruction, paid on a daily basis, and supervised by the Vice Minister of Works. Three departments were set up for carpentry, tile making, and kiln making, with strict performance evaluations. The project was restored to its former glory."

Then he picked up another book: "In June of the ninth year of Jingtai, Huai'an was flooded, and the people were displaced. The emperor ordered his personal troops to come to the scene. Although the disaster continued, the firewood was not reduced. In July, when the flood receded, medical treatment was provided. A total of 115,227 people in the whole prefecture suffered disasters, but less than 10 died. The people of the counties personally set up temples to worship the emperor."

"How come I didn't know..." Emperor Jingtai scratched his head and said, "I didn't give any orders. I was out playing at the time."

"But at the time it was an emergency plan signed by His Majesty, which was to be activated automatically in the event of a disaster."

Emperor Jingtai scratched his head and asked, "Did I sign it?"

"Signed..."

"Alright, then it's signed."

Old Zhang put down the county gazetteer: "Actually, sometimes Your Majesty shouldn't look at the process, but at the result. The compilation of historical materials should not be based on the standards of scribes. The reason why the county gazetteer is reproduced and stored in the library every year is so that future generations can have something to study. If there are changes in the future, it can destroy one copy, and it can also silence the voices of the people."

Emperor Jingtai was finally relieved to hear this, and after a while he said, "Since it is difficult to reduce the power of the princes now, why don't we go have some fun first? We can still eat mugwort cakes if we go now, and I have never ridden a train before... You know, I was very upset when the train was about to finish and I had to come back."

"His Majesty……"

"are you going?"

Old Zhang looked up at the sky, unsure of what expression to wear. After a long while, he finally spoke, "I cannot go, nor can I go. Let it be..." Did he not want to go? Of course he wanted to, but he was now the prime minister, no longer the dashing scholar Zhang. Moreover, as he gradually assumed the responsibilities of acting on behalf of the emperor, he could no longer even go to his beloved brothel to paint erotic pictures for his sister. Every day, he went to get off work on time, came home, and took care of his children. He was bitter but helpless, but this was no longer the simple position of a high-ranking official.

He carried the burden of governing both capitals and ten circuits all on his own shoulders.

"Since you're not going, I won't go either. I'll face this with you."

"Thank you for your understanding, Your Majesty."

That afternoon, Emperor Jingtai left a note and fled, using a back door without telling anyone. It wasn't until the next morning when he went to court and found that the emperor hadn't come that Old Zhang realized he had been fooled by this incompetent ruler again...

"Dog Emperor! Dog Emperor! Dog Emperor!!!"

After reading Emperor Jingtai's letter, Old Zhang gripped it tightly, his teeth grinding together. Then he turned around, took a deep breath, and said, "Colleagues, His Majesty is unwell and bedridden. I will be in charge of the morning court session today."

The ministers weren't surprised; he had said the same thing last time, and then the reign lasted only a year. But it was all for the best... that incompetent ruler was beyond saving. If it weren't for these capable ministers holding the country together, the country would have fallen apart.

Emperor Jingtai escaped from prison once again and was sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest on a cargo ship bound for Fuliang. The captain handed him a bowl of rice topped with a few slices of fried tofu, which he ate with relish.

"Young master, you look like you come from a wealthy family, how come you are so down on your luck?"

"I...it's a long story. I just arrived at the port yesterday and saw a mother and daughter begging. They said they came here to find their relatives but were cheated out of their money. I couldn't bear it, so I gave them some silver. But when I was waiting for the passenger ship, the mother and daughter gathered a group of people and robbed me. Damn it!"

Emperor Jingtai slammed his fist on the deck: "Wait until I get back, and I'll see if I don't kill them."

"Haha, young master, don't count on it. Those people roam around, specifically targeting rich young masters like you who are naive to the ways of the world. No problem, we are a ship from Fuliang, and we can take you to find your relatives. But which relatives are you looking for? I have some connections in Fuliang, and I can help you find out, so you don't end up empty-handed."

"I am looking for my brother."

"Oh...may I ask what your younger brother's name is?"

"Xia Daosheng."

Upon hearing this, the boat captain turned around and exchanged a glance with the first mate. Then, he pulled Emperor Jingtai into the cabin and added a few more pieces of fried tofu to the bowl.

They didn't press him further because they weren't sure if what he said was true, but they also couldn't be sure if he was lying, so being polite to him was the right thing to do.

A few days later, they arrived here. When Emperor Jingtai disembarked, he saw Xia Lin standing at the port waiting for him with a dark face. This was because a few days earlier, when they were resting at the port, the captain had sent Emperor Jingtai's clothes and appearance to Fuliang by fast ship.

Xia Lin knew immediately which bastard had come.

"hey-hey……"

"Laugh!" Xia Lin's voice was loud and his face was very bad: "Why are you running around here every day instead of being a proper emperor? What about the matter of weakening the power of the princes? Have you abandoned your post again?"

Emperor Jingtai scratched his head and chuckled sheepishly. He didn't argue and just pretended to be stupid. The boat captain behind him seemed to be under some kind of Japanese sorcery that time stopped. He couldn't understand how the person he had been pulling along was actually the current emperor!
Moreover, seeing Lord Xia scolding the emperor like a son, the boatman finally believed the folk legend that Lord Xia was the true ruler of the Great Wei...

"Alright, alright." Emperor Jingtai stepped forward and patted Xia Lin's shoulder. "Let me explain this to you in detail. But I'm hungry right now, let's have something to eat."

"Do not touch me!"

Xia Lin shoved his hand away and walked forward angrily, while Emperor Jingtai chuckled and followed beside him: "I've run into big trouble this time, you have to help me."

The two returned to the mansion, where Shui Xian and Chun Tao were just making mugwort cakes. Emperor Jingtai leaned over and took a deep breath: "Make me a lot more, I want to eat my fill."

Chuntao and Shuixian were both trained by him, and upon seeing Emperor Jingtai, they immediately rose and knelt down: "Your Majesty..."

"Add more spice!"

After saying that, he followed Xia Lin into the main hall. He sat down and poured himself a cup of tea. "Let me tell you, this matter is not easy to handle. After I proposed to reduce the power of the princes, the entire court was like boiling water. There were opponents, and there were even those who were willing to die for their cause. They weren't like this before."

Xia Lin frowned: "What did the vassal king say?"

"The princes didn't say a word, and the Imperial Clan Court also said that this was the emperor's will, and things should be done as they should. Tell me, if even the imperial family isn't saying anything, what are these outsiders supposed to say?"

"What did Old Zhang say?"

"Old Zhang meant that the ministers' efforts to protect the royal family were an attempt to leave themselves a way out."

Xia Lin nodded and sighed softly, "I understand. Let's put the matter of weakening the feudal lords aside for now. As for what comes next... we'll talk about it later. If we take any more radical measures, it will cause problems. There will definitely be troubles, but we'll overcome them slowly. In short, it's best that nothing is happening now. We'll definitely be fine during the economic transformation."

"That's right, that's right, I think so too." After saying that, Emperor Jingtai stuck his head out of the window and shouted loudly, "Narcissus! Steam them five at a time, eat them hot, and also cut me some pickled bamboo shoots and pig's ears, extra spicy!"
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I have something to do tonight, so I'm posting early.

(End of this chapter)