Am I really hallucinating?

Chapter 334 I'm Not a Hallucination

The aircraft activated its optical camouflage and took off, heading towards Jiangwen Street.

Nowadays, most cities' air defense networks are riddled with vulnerabilities, so there's no need to be so cautious anymore. Zheng Fan and Doris went to Jiangwen Street to see if Zombie Girl was still there; if so, they would bring her back.

Jiang Si is like a child who suddenly decides to get a pet. Although there are uncontrollable factors, she forgets about the pet when she gets busy, and then her parents have to help take care of it.

Doris alone is enough; the others can stay at the shelter camp to help out a little.

The atmosphere on the aircraft was slightly quiet.

“Mr. Music, you don’t seem to be in a good mood.” Doris suddenly broke the silence.

Zheng Fan removed the shell of the Egg Robot and tossed it and Cheng Fei, the Great God, behind the aircraft. He then leaned on the aircraft's control panel and looked through the glass at the scenery rushing past outside.

His senses easily captured the countless beings below, insignificant even to the smallest stream, struggling amidst the earthquake and secondary disasters.

They turned a blind eye to it.

"Because Binary Girl was kidnapped by the Illusionary Realm." Zheng Fan did not deny it at all, but answered in a calm tone, directly stating the reason.

“…So that’s how it is.” Doris also thought of the many bizarre disappearances that occurred after the earthquake.

It's normal for people to go missing during a disaster, but a large number of disappearances is something that anyone with eyes can see is not right. Even if some information is not known to the public, it is not difficult to tell.

However, according to Mr. Music, this disappearance is not simply a kidnapping.

The worst-case scenario is that all contact is lost.

Doris placed her hands on her thighs, and subconsciously gripped the hem of her skirt as she thought of this.

So the connection with Mr. Music wasn't unbreakable after all...

Even the original Lin Yilin could suddenly disappear due to an accident.

"Is Mr. Music trying to save Miss Lin Yilin now?" Doris asked.

"Yeah, I'm trying. But I'm not the main player, I'm just helping out a little," Zheng said after glancing at Doris.

The person who really wants to find a solution is currently busy, and he also has to take care of the other mechs' little pets.

Doris looked at Zheng Fan, scrutinized him carefully, and then concluded: "Mr. Music, what are you hesitating about?"

“…Hmm.” Zheng Fan paused for a moment and then replied somewhat somberly, “I don’t know what would happen if I let go.”

"Huh?" Doris looked at Zheng Fan in confusion.

"Talent is like a die rolled at birth; for some, it may be the greatest fortune of their lives. This applies not only to humans but also to illusions. Some illusions are born with high growth potential; even with only one host and ordinary nutrients, they can grow to a terrifying level at an astonishing speed."

“Mr. Music, you’re powerful enough without a host, so you must be the most talented type in the illusion.” Doris subconsciously thought along these lines.

“I’m not hallucinating,” Zheng Fan blurted out, denying his own existence in this world for the first time.

Doris opened her eyes wide, unable to understand the meaning of Zheng Fan's words.

“My current situation is similar to ‘looking like a hallucination, using things like a hallucination, and others also think I’m a hallucination, so I am a hallucination.’ But I don’t think I am,” Zheng Fan said. “Or rather, I’ve never thought of myself as a hallucination.”

Even if no one can see you, even if your normal state and hallucinations are not much different, except that you can do more exaggerated things.

Zheng Fan felt deep down that he was still a human being. This wasn't because he was attached to his identity as a human being, but because all his actions since arriving in Dadu hadn't been enough to overturn this perception of himself.

Even though he could transform himself into various forms without any burden, he still believed that he was "a person who was completely immersed in illusion and had supernatural powers like an illusion."

However, in each dream, Zheng Fan could glimpse the towering black tree and his own gradually fragmenting self, and he could also feel that he was indeed growing in another form.

It was that tree that turned him into this, and perhaps he was just lucky to have unexpectedly come into this world and been chosen by the tree. This was the die he rolled in his second life, receiving an exaggerated power that allowed him to be completely irresponsible towards the world.

The self is merely nourishment; a stable human body is just a placenta.

You can be sure of it the first time you have a dream.

Just like he felt from the beginning that if he let loose, he could make things very big, and the gap between illusion and reality would not be a problem at all. He could easily turn the capital upside down and then leave.

The key lies within him; if he so desires, he can press that switch and attain true liberation and freedom.

It is possible to transform into another towering tree, or even to directly replace the current one.

Following the path of illusion step by step, absorbing the carefully cultivated cloak of external existence, is both slow and of little practical value in the face of such choices.

After discovering that Lin Yilin had disappeared and it was likely their last farewell, he was unable to directly tear through the layer of chaotic spacetime and the illusionary realm to bring Lin Yilin back. This seemingly terrifying and powerful outer layer was still constrained by the limitations of the world.

Liberate, sublimate, become something independent of the world, and relative to reality, that is true omnipotence.

However, Zheng Fan is not sure whether he will change after becoming another tree.

Mindset, thinking, awareness, cognition...

Even the slightest deviation can cause a person to unknowingly transform into something inhuman. The person who has become this way for a purpose may then look down on everything from the past.

It is full of contradictions and incongruities.

“I’m quite happy,” Doris said softly as she looked at Zheng Fan, who was deep in thought.

"Is it because you were able to move up in rank after Unit 1 was gone?"

"Even if you're in a bad mood, it doesn't affect your sense of humor, Mr. Music."

"Thanks for the compliment."

"I won't be happy about Miss Lin Yilin's disappearance," Doris denied. "Nobody will be. After all, Mr. Music, you said we all received a lot of help from Miss Lin Yilin, didn't you?"

"Ah."

“I’m happy because I’ve realized that you, Mr. Music, do care about us. At least you really care about Miss Lin Yilin. Thinking about it this way, maybe I can achieve the same status she has in your heart in the future. If something happens to me, Mr. Music will be happy for me and even consider all sorts of complicated things.” Doris reached out and gently brushed her hair, the glass of the aircraft next to her reflecting the blush that had appeared on her otherwise fair skin.

"And I'm also very happy to have gotten a glimpse of your unexpectedly gentle side, Mr. Music. Is this perhaps the first time for us?"

"Maybe. I don't deny that I have many weaknesses in my personality. For example, if I were a workaholic, I might already be ruling Dadu with Lin Yilin." Zheng Fan's tone became more relaxed.

"Haha." Doris chuckled softly, then said, "If Mr. Music forgets me in the future, I will make him remember. I will use everything I am good at to do it."

Zheng Fan looked at her.

Doris continued, "I believe Miss Lin Yilin said something similar, didn't she?"

I will never forget you.

Zheng recalled what Lin Yilin had said.

Seeing Zheng Fan's expression, Doris gently stood up and picked up the violin case that was placed to the side: "Would you like me to play a tune to soothe your mood?"

"I'm already in a good mood, but since Little Sheep has said so, I'm naturally happy to oblige," Zheng Fan said with a smile, his gray eyes narrowing slightly.

A lighthearted melody filled the rapidly moving aircraft.

(End of this chapter)