Am I really hallucinating?

Chapter 408 Reconciliation of Dreams

"Idiot, complete idiot. You're willing to risk your life for some bullshit dream! You ignored everything I said! Knowing you don't have the ability, you still wouldn't give up even after hitting a brick wall, and now you're charging in headfirst even knowing you'll die! You deserve to be a failure! You think you're so cool, you moron! Nobody notices you! You're just indulging in self-pity!"

The insects supported Haven's body, but there was nothing left inside.

The last vestige of inspiration and the last bit of persistence in pursuing dreams vanished with consciousness; the insect predator simply acquired the outer skin as before.

Nothing else.

Anthropomorphic hallucinations are so delicate; before reaching an extremely high upper limit, they face a lower limit that is so unstable it can be outrageously low.

The insectivorous man felt that after years of dominating the world, he had finally reached his limit.

I thought Haverne was a great draw, but it turned out to be a terrible one!
If you suddenly have suicidal thoughts, that's one thing, but why drag it into it?!

The insect-eating creature frowned as it listened to the melody. Even as a hallucination, it could hear music and thus perceive the emotions it conveyed.

So disgusting.

Insectivorous animals strongly resist the implications of this.

“Jermelo!” it struggled to its feet and called out, “I know you can hear me, Jermelo.”

Jermaine remained unmoved and simply continued singing.

"What a beautiful song! Your sister wrote it so well, ensuring you'll still be well-fed thanks to what she left you after her death, without having to worry about your next life alone," the insect-eater mocked. "Now that your sister is dead, you can rightfully claim everything she had for yourself. But it doesn't matter, after all, your sister loved you, and despite her talent, she was willing to compose music for you, even without credit."

The insect predator revealed a sinister smile.

“But self-deception is unwise.” Its voice suddenly turned low. “I am a worm that chases inspiration. The gap between the super-inspired and the mortal is ultimately not something that can be crossed by guilt or belief.”

Why would a humanoid hallucination be so fixated on supernatural beings?

Anthropomorphic hallucinations often seek to possess small animals, mostly cats and dogs... basically, the most common creatures in everyday life.

Cats and dogs have physical advantages in the city that are even more advantageous than those of humans, and birds are also quite remarkable simply because they can fly.

The beginning, almost devoid of anthropomorphic hallucinations, will be a small green worm.

The insectivorous creature is just that kind of insect. Because its self-awareness was low before it was possessed by the anthropomorphic hallucination, no matter how much it resented its original self, it was all in vain; it was simply a matter of luck.

Even if an insect has a brain and can think, it is still likely to die from predation by various natural enemies at any time, and if it tries to move, it will likely be trampled into mush by something.

But luck seems to have a way of rebounding; instead of dying from some strange accident, it was picked up by a human child.

The child had simply caught a small insect and wanted to keep it as a pet; it was a very ordinary thing.

But what it picked up was an illusion! Animal-like anthropomorphic illusions can be achieved by repeatedly contacting a fixed target to achieve substitution!

However, the less capable insect predators did not do this initially.

Perhaps out of a simple sense of gratitude, or for other reasons, it did not do so, but simply watched the child grow up.

Because it failed to pupate for a long time, the abnormality of its life cycle was exposed. However, the other party was only happy that it might have picked up some fantasy object and did not connect the little insect with the terrible hallucination.

The child continued to raise insects, hiding it from his family, even though they offered little emotional support and could only stay by his side and listen to his woes. He had a strict upbringing; his parents hoped he would excel in some field, so he had been learning piano since childhood.

Thanks to a hobby cultivated from a young age, the child loved the piano. He excelled as a child, even winning awards in some piano competitions, and he hoped to achieve something in this field to bring honor to his parents.

This is the pressure that children spontaneously put on themselves through the education they receive from a young age.

That's normal, but what's not normal is that the child felt a sense of loss.

At a renowned piano class on Stanley Street, he encountered even more outstanding geniuses, whose talent and performance, even if not supernatural, were worthy of the title of true geniuses.

Children who excelled from a young age experienced a sense of loss.

This child is full of resilience; he was not easily defeated. Although his parents had expectations for him, they were also very tolerant. However, this tolerance itself could easily make the child get stuck in a rut and make him more persistent.

He constantly strives and challenges himself, spending more time and even neglecting his studies, devoting himself entirely to the piano.

The insect grew little by little.

As it grew larger, the patterns on its face transformed into a real human face. But this change didn't frighten the growing child, because...

The insect's face looks exactly like his.

All the insects' nutrients came from him. He witnessed the child's growth, the child's setbacks, and the child's increasing perseverance, and accepted them all without question.

When it came to the crucial period of their children's studies and they realized that their children lacked talent, they began to persuade them to give up the piano, at least so as not to affect their normal studies. However, this became the straw that broke the camel's back.

He rebelled and studied even harder, completely neglecting his studies.

Finally, in an important competition performance, he gave it his all and was defeated by his super genius friend who had been in the same piano class since childhood.

Despite giving it my all and burning my bridges, I still ended up with nothing and accomplished nothing.

That friend never had any bad grades and was always among the top students in school.

"Meatball, tell me, is the reason you've never been able to truly grow up because of my useless owner?" On the day of the crushing defeat, even though she had won a prize, the owner was still dejected and, as usual, confided in the big meat worm in her room when she was feeling down.

The insect-eating creature said nothing, but it knew that it was indeed being limited by the growth of its master.

The owner hopes to prove himself by defeating his friend with the piano, while the insect-eating creature is also infected and begins to yearn to break free of its cocoon and become a butterfly.

"If you're hallucinating, why don't you just eat me?" he said.

His mentality has completely collapsed, and he has no more nourishment to draw upon. Consuming it to create more opportunities for himself seems like a very good idea.

But the insectivorous creatures refused.

Years of bond with its owner and the initial rescue made it suppress its inner desire to grow, even when urged by its owner.

But this seemed to be the last straw that broke the camel's back.

"Even insects wouldn't eat him for nourishment," this extreme thought is like one's closest self denying themselves, leading the owner to jump off a building.

At that moment, the insect was forced to act and devoured its opponent.

He obtained his first body, which was also the best body, a perfect fit for his own failed shell as a parasite.

Without its owner, or rather, after inheriting its owner's mantle, its insectivorous mindset was completely liberated.

It will become a butterfly, by any means necessary.

This is the dream of this insect!

What kind of nourishment can enable it to transform into a butterfly? It aims for super inspiration and constantly explores. However, it cannot simply borrow super inspiration; in the end, it still comes down to the issue of compatibility.

Haven was very similar to its original owner, with an extremely high compatibility. Coupled with its super-intuitive qualities, it even abandoned its original owner's body for the sake of convenience in its subsequent actions.

Initially targeting Jermelo, no matter how well it disguised itself, the insectivorous creature could still smell the same scent on Jermelo, and remained shrouded in the shadows, feeling frustrated and unfulfilled. However, when it took advantage of the earthquake to make its move, it ran headlong into Jermelo's shadow—his sister.

Being a super-intuitive being doesn't mean being powerful. It spent some effort killing that woman who was overflowing with happiness, but it was also forced back by that disgusting tune.

After that, it chose a new target and found the rising star, Doris.

As a result of the joint performance, targeting Doris directly became difficult. It had to pour all the resources it had accumulated with Xixi Keke into it to have the confidence to confront Doris directly. But now that the joint performance had added variables from the Bureau of Affairs, it had to avoid direct confrontation and find another target that was easier to target.

But that's not bad.

Because it discovered that Jermelo seemed to have undergone a new change due to his sister's death.

What insect predators need is not a completely decayed shell!

That kind of thing can only make it repeat the experiences of its original owner and Haven, and it will never be able to become a butterfly.

What it needs is a shell that truly believes it can achieve its dream, whether by stealing or deceiving itself, someone who can stand up even after setbacks and firmly believe that it can "become a butterfly".

That's why it provoked Jeremiah and laid a trap to add fuel to the fire.

The insectivores are also looking forward to it.

I hope that Jerome can take this opportunity to fulfill his sister's last wish and truly get closer to the "butterfly" in his heart!

Taking advantage of this opportunity, it can transform into a butterfly using Jeremiah's body.

The years of torment finally came to an end here.

"Jermelo! Remembering your sister's tragic fate, finish this song! Let me see just how ugly your wings really are!" the insect-eater shouted excitedly, like a minor character in a novel constantly mocking the protagonist for failing to do what he couldn't.

Show it! Jeremiah!
Regardless of how the second half of the song turns out, the fact that you can stand here, on this highest stage, and sing it is proof of your belief!

After years of pursuing insectivorous diets, what we need is precisely this kind of belief!

No one cared about the stimulation of eating insects; even Jermel remained unmoved.

The song's melody continues, then abruptly stops at a high point, with a slightly long pause, but no one considers it the end.

Jerome suddenly tilted his head back, opened his arms, and his unrestrained voice broke free from all constraints, the pitch rising sharply!
Countless people were moved by the sight of the starry sky formed by the audience and the night sky.

It's now!

The insect suddenly broke free from Haven's body and darted forward, burrowing directly into Jermelo's body.

How dazzling, how magnificent! Excellent lyrics, even if it's just this one song, in this one song alone, he has caught up with his sister.

Light emanated from it and from Jermelo's body.

Doris glanced at it but then ignored it, stretching out her dance with the violin as the music reached its climax.

Deep blue butterfly wings unfolded behind Jermelo, containing glittering starlight, as if they contained a galaxy.

A complete transformation...

"What's going on?! Why? My wings? Your wings? The synchronization is off... How is this possible?!"

In Jermelo's mind, the insects screamed in disbelief.

The synchronization rate wasn't perfect, much lower than it had imagined! What was this? Satisfaction and emptiness? How could it be so contradictory! It had become a butterfly, and Jermelo's mental transformation in this respect was successful, but where exactly did things go wrong? As a humanoid illusion, fusion at such a low synchronization rate would only be a clumsy, forced struggle, and how much power would be left for it in the end?!

"Jeremero—!"

“I give up.” Jeremiah appeared before the insect-eating creature and said calmly to it.

"What? You gave up what?!" the insect-eater exclaimed hysterically.

"dream."

"Impossible! If you've given up, then what's with these wings?!" The insect-eater thought he was deceiving himself.

"I only achieved my dream when I dedicated this song to the world, and after that moment, I gave up my dream. To be precise, I chose to reconcile."

And yourself.

And the older sister in my heart.

"You fucking tricked me!" the insect-eater exclaimed in fury.

"So what?" Jermel looked at it indifferently. "For the enemy who killed my sister, sealing you here through my hands can be considered my revenge."

The insect predator went straight up, intending to forcibly take over Jeremiah's body.

However, he was suddenly kicked in the head, which shattered his mind once again.

"You've risked everything for your dream, narrowing your vision and firmly believing in the 'dream-eating insect' concept, yet all these years you've only seen the surface of humanity."

Doris suddenly appeared, with a chirping black sparrow perched on her shoulder.

"Shut up! You guys, with your talent and ability, who find the perfect opportunity to show off your skills and live a fulfilling life, how could you understand the suffering of us insects!" The insect-eating fragments continued to chatter and try to reassemble themselves, their amazing will to survive preventing them from giving up.

“I understand.” Doris simply tilted her head slightly, looking at the sparrow on her shoulder.

"If it weren't for someone else bringing me along, I would just be a worm rotting under the lighthouse, just like you. However, it is undeniable that we are indeed lucky to have encountered an opportunity that could change our lives."

"Die—!!"

It uttered those words, but the insect-eater did nothing, for those were its last words.

After saying this, the black sparrow flapped its wings and went straight up to devour the insect completely.

It's perfectly reasonable for sparrows to eat insects.

In reality, the beautiful wings quickly soften, decay, and eventually turn into dust and dissipate.

Jermaine's performance has ended.

"This song, 'Letter,' is dedicated to you all. Thank you."

After a brief silence and a moment of emotion, applause surged forth like a tide, continuous and echoing throughout the entire performance venue.

The Black Gold Hall returned to its original state without anyone noticing. Jeremiah walked away slowly, his steps much lighter. No one noticed that Miss Doris's makeup was done again, and her contact lenses had fallen off.

After a short break, the four members of the monastery band did not leave the stage, and then, suddenly, Mr. Gundam descended from above the stage after a loud bang.

Next up was the closing performance by the monastery band.

This marks the successful conclusion of this joint performance.

(End of this chapter)