Jinting Han people

Chapter 21 The Uselessness of Uselessness
Since then, Liu Xian left the Luoyang Mansion and moved to the Dongwu Villa, which was closer to Shouyang Mountain.

This was arranged by my mother, Zhang Ximiao. After all, it was too far to get to Shouyang Mountain from home. Starting from Dongwu, there was no need for horses or carriages. Every morning, I woke up and only had to walk north for half an hour, over two small hills covered with pine trees, to reach Ruanzhuang.

But the downside was also obvious. His uncles and elders all held official positions and could not leave the capital, and his mother, who was constantly busy with household chores, could only visit occasionally. With the exception of his eldest wife, Fei Xiu, no one could accompany him to study for long periods of time. In an instant, most of the people and things that had accompanied Liu Xian since childhood vanished, leaving him to grow up in a completely new environment.

It's difficult for people to escape the influence of their environment. For some, jumping from one environment to another is like committing suicide. Although Liu Xian wasn't that exaggerated, he still felt a little lonely.

After all, Dongwu wasn't as prosperous as Luoyang. There were no street performers, no rare animals, and in fact, there wasn't even a market. It was just an ordinary country estate. My mother and uncles were mostly away, and the only people I could talk to daily were Fei Xiu and the tenant farmers. There weren't even a few people my own age, which was truly boring.

Normally, these things weren't unbearable. Previously, when Liu Xian studied under Chen Shou, he often spent entire days studying and practicing calligraphy, and he never found it boring. But after becoming a disciple of Xiao Ruan Gong, Liu Xian developed a sense of anxiety, which in turn exacerbated his other worries.

This is all because of unsatisfactory academic performance.

When Liu Xian first met Mr. Ruan, he was impressed by his unrestrained, open-minded and generous character, and was very much looking forward to his teaching. However, he was greatly disappointed by the subsequent lessons.

Ruan Xian was, after all, a hermit in the bamboo forest without any supervision, and his daily life had no plans. When Liu Xian got up early to visit him, he was often still sleeping in bed. When the sun was high in the sky, he would get up, put on some clothes, pick up his pipa and go to the bamboo forest to entertain himself. Another half an hour passed, and it was almost lunchtime.

After lunch, he acted like a teacher and taught Liu Xian some of his own "Commentary on Laozi" and "Commentary on Zhuangzi", but it only took half an hour. Then he had to take a nap on the couch. When he woke up, it was almost time for dinner.

Liu Xian was deeply puzzled by this. He was still at an age where naps were unnecessary, so he couldn't imagine the extent of someone's sleepiness. He had never seen anyone like Little Ruan Gong, who slept practically all day. But the truth was, Little Ruan Gong's snoring was far more profound than his teachings. It was like the ramrod used by the monks at the White Horse Temple to chant sutras, each sound questioning the meaning of Liu Xian's life.

Of course, Young Master Ruan didn't spend every day in a coma. Thanks to his wide circle of friends and his widespread fame, every three to five days, two or three literary friends would visit him. There weren't many unknowns, but there were quite a few famous ones. They included old acquaintances of Ruan Xian, like Shan Tao and Liu Ling, as well as high-ranking officials of the current dynasty, such as Qin Xiu, Xun Xu, and Liu Yi. On one occasion, Liu Xian even spotted his good friend Shi Chao. The two, trailing behind their elders, were both startled to see each other, having never expected to meet here.

During these social gatherings, Little Ruan Gong would bring his entire clan and guests on outings. They might gather wild vetch and brew wine on Mount Shouyang, discussing the mysteries of the Dao; or they might fish, play the qin, and compose poetry by the Luo River. When the mood struck, they would strip naked and dance wildly in the mountains and streams, then let out a long howl, like a mountain ghost. Others, unfazed by this, said this was the so-called "romanticism of the famous scholar."

Yet, this experience left Liu Xian feeling like he wasted time. He believed that while rest was certainly necessary, that didn't mean they could be content to do nothing. If someone, like Little Ruan Gong, spent their lives enjoying the sound of the pipa and fine wine, it could certainly be a happy life, but what was the meaning of such a life? How could it be remembered?
So Liu Xian thought that rather than being free and easy, it was more like an escape, an escape from his own failure.

With this mindset, Liu Xian naturally felt uneasy, constantly reflecting on what he had learned. This thought only made him even more depressed. Little Ruan Gong didn't teach much to begin with, and the few articles he did teach were his own writings, such as "Commentary on Laozi" and "Commentary on Zhuangzi."

It's not that these essays lack literary talent, especially the "Zhuangzi Annotations." Zhuangzi's original writing is as unrestrained as the sea and the river, and his spirit is as vast as heaven and earth. And Xiao Ruangong's own annotations can be described as a fusion of all schools of thought and a divine touch with the netherworld. But what good is all this?
In his article, Zhuangzi said, "As long as the sage lives, the thieves will not stop." He criticized the sages for misleading people and making them abide by rites, righteousness, integrity and shame that are impossible to abide by. He also said through the mouth of a skeleton, "In death, there is no king above, no ministers below, and no four seasons. Instead, the spring and autumn are determined by heaven and earth. Even if you are a king, you cannot surpass this happiness." The general meaning is that it is better to be dead than to be happy while alive.

Liu Xian was puzzled by these views. Is it better for humans to be beasts than to have any sense of shame? Is the purpose of life to die early?
He felt that these words were useless and far less meaningful than when he read history with Chen Shou. It was no wonder that he felt lonely from the bottom of his heart.

Two months went on like this, and Liu Xian's initial enthusiasm had worn off. In Ruan Xian's house, he was unhappy and seemed out of place. His face, which had not yet grown any edges, was already brewing a distinct coldness, causing several of his peers in Ruan Zhuang to be reluctant to talk to him.

By the time of the winter solstice, heavy snow had fallen, and the dry grass and fallen leaves that once covered the mountains and plains were now buried in an endless expanse of white. Liu Xian went to Ruanzhuang as usual. After paying his respects to several of his senior brothers and their wives, he sat by the brazier, boiled a pot of tea, and read while warming himself by the fire.

Today, he reread the Records of the Grand Historian and had already come to the Biography of Wu Qi. Seeing Wu Qi's personal scheme against the Chu nobility, he couldn't help but yearn for it. He thought: The most difficult thing for a person to control is his own death. Wu Qi could even use his own death to plot against his political enemies. He is truly an unprecedented hero. The Chu nobility were truly short-sighted and contemptible. If it weren't for their resistance to the reforms, it would probably be Chu, not Qin, that achieved the great unification.

After a long moment of reverie, Liu Xian came to his senses and suddenly noticed a faint breathing sound above him. Turning back, he was shocked to find Little Ruan Gong standing behind him, wearing a crane cloak, looking at him with a smile on his face. Startled, Liu Xian quickly turned around to bow and greet his teacher.

Ruan Xian waved his hand, signaling him not to be polite. After he stood up, he sat down beside him naturally and said with a smile, "Why, it's strange to see me at this time?"

Liu Xian hesitated for a moment, and finally told the truth: "Yes, I thought the teacher would not wake up for another hour."

Ruan Xian clapped his knees and laughed, "It seems that in your mind, I am like a tortoise of the State of Chu, either sleeping all day or dragging my tail in the mud."

Liu Xian was surprised by his teacher's directness, but he didn't want to answer against his will, so he said, "In my humble opinion, there's really nothing to recommend about your lifestyle."

Ruan Xian had clearly anticipated this; he betrayed no anger. Instead, he leisurely poured himself a cup of tea, sprinkled a little salt, and sipped it carefully. Then, he asked, "Tell me, why is there nothing good about it?" Was that even necessary? Liu Xian immediately replied, "What makes us human is our understanding of trustworthiness, integrity, and a sense of shame, all driven by a shared vision. That's why countless heroes throughout history have strived to benefit the nation. But if we simply eat our fill all day, with no other purpose, what's the difference between us and animals?"

After saying this, Liu Xian secretly glanced at Ruan Xian. Seeing that he was smiling silently, as if encouraging himself, he continued, "Although I am not talented and have no great ambitions, I still hope to be of some benefit to others in the future, to do something that can benefit some people, and to leave behind some writings. This will make my life worthwhile. I really don't want to lie low like you, my teacher."

"Okay, okay, you're right. One cannot live a life without doing anything." Ruan Xian stroked his beard and laughed, not knowing whether it was praise or ridicule. "But have you ever thought that you might not have a career to pursue in the future?"

"How is that possible? My family is a duke after all. Even if I can't become a provincial governor, becoming a county governor should still be possible, right?"

"No, no, your situation is special. If you were an ordinary son of a noble family, even being appointed to one of the Three Officials wouldn't be surprising. But you are the heir of the Anle Duke, a descendant of Liu Bei. Countless loyalists across the world are eager for you to restore the kingdom. If the emperor had any common sense, he would certainly not grant you a crucial position. At most, he would give you a sinecure, like your father. So, what are you going to do?"

Liu Xian remained silent in the face of Ruan Xian's questioning. It wasn't that he hadn't considered this question. The only royal families of the previous dynasty who were ever given important positions by the new dynasty were, at most, remote branches. A lineage like his was truly unprecedented in history. But he still held onto a certain hope. After all, until a problem arose, no one could claim there was no solution.

Ruan Xian continued, "Of course, this is just my assumption. But often, things don't turn out as expected. For example, you think my life is useless now. Why didn't you give me some advice before?"

"I'm afraid the teacher will be angry."

"Yes, you offer advice and counsel. Logically, I should be happy to accept it, but you're reluctant because I'm more likely to get angry, even if you think it's wrong. Worldly affairs and moral principles are often so at odds with each other." Ruan Xian smiled, then asked, "Just like in the biography of Wu Qi you just read, why didn't the nobles of Chu support Wu Qi's reforms and instead plotted to murder him?"

"Because they only care about petty gains and ignore the overall interests of the country."

"But petty gains are tangible, while the overall national situation is invisible. Hey, Biji, although I practice Taoism, I also know that no one is immortal in this life. Decades will pass in a flash. How can I care about the living after I die? What you said before about serving the country is very good, but I am already in my fifties and will die of old age in a few years. If I don't play the piano at home to entertain myself, what else can I do? Go to the battlefield to kill the Hu? That's impossible."

Liu Xian began to understand. The teacher was telling him that while the principles in the book were certainly sound, whether they could be applied to practical situations depended on his own experience. But he still didn't understand how a book like Zhuangzi could help him in his daily life.

Ruan Xian was not shy about hiding anything. He took the "Records of the Grand Historian" from Liu Xian and turned to the part of the "Family of Confucius" where Confucius and Laozi had a conversation.

When Lao Tzu was bidding farewell to Confucius in Luoyang, he said: "A smart and insightful person who is close to death is one who likes to gossip about others. A person who is eloquent and endangers his life is one who likes to expose the faults of others." The general meaning of this sentence is that a smart and insightful person is always close to death because he likes to gossip about others, and a person who is good at debate is always in danger because he likes to expose the faults of others.

Ruan Xian then slowly spoke, "You're right to say that Zhuangzi is useless. Zhuangzi, with its tens of thousands of words, narrates and writes the same message as Laozi's admonition to Confucius: everyone's strengths are also their weaknesses, and ideals can lead to bad outcomes. Even if a person has the world in his heart, he sometimes has to bow his head for a meal or a coin. A person is important in his own eyes, but insignificant in the eyes of others."

"If one does not understand this principle in life and is obsessed with achieving one's own ideals, one will encounter great disasters. Even though Confucius understood this principle, he still often put himself in danger of death, suffering from the pain of not being able to achieve his ideals. If a person feels pain and anxiety, he cannot calm down and muster the strong will to face danger, recognize danger, and overcome it."

"Only by first realizing that you are unimportant, that your joys and sorrows are but fleeting clouds, and by grasping the great wisdom of being unmoved by the eight winds, and facing the difficulties that lie ahead while clinging to your ideals, can you achieve great things."

Liu Xian began to understand. While Zhuangzi didn't offer any practical knowledge and often denigrated human nature and morality, this was merely a manifestation. Zhuangzi's original intention was to teach people to free themselves from their own perspectives, not to be happy with things or sad with themselves, but to instead view life from the broader perspective of creation. This was the study of cultivating the mind and character, the so-called "uselessness of use."

Seeing Liu Xian's pensive expression, Ruan Xian knew that he had grasped something. Feeling deeply relieved, he smiled and said, "But then again, I didn't know your temperament or your strengths and weaknesses before, so I had no idea where to start teaching you other than Laozi and Zhuangzi. I could only wait and see. Now it seems that I have a rough idea of what you want to learn."

By this time, Liu Xian was already convinced. He quickly asked, "Teacher, what do you plan to teach me?"

Ruan Xian returned the "Records of the Grand Historian" to Liu Xian and said, "You are so young, yet you are able to study with such patience. This is truly rare. However, as I said before, no matter how much you read, the principles are just principles. If you want to apply them to the secular world, you must learn the ways of the secular world. You are still lacking in this aspect."

"That is?"

"First, you need to strengthen your body, then cultivate your sentiments, and finally, you need to be savvy with people." Little Ruan Gong held up three fingers and said leisurely, "So starting today, I will teach you horseback riding, swordsmanship, archery, music, and of course, philosophical discussions. You are not allowed to complain."

　I will only update once today while testing the waters for the new update. But I still need votes. I hope everyone will vote and support me. Your support is my motivation to update. Thank you~
　　
　
(End of this chapter)