Jinting Han people

Chapter 34: Reminiscence of Shu Han

Biji, I wanted to tell you directly about what happened that day. But just as I was about to begin, I realized that this wasn't the right thing to do. On second thought, many things require cause and effect. Without this, you can't understand people's emotional dynamics or why they make the choices they do. So I'm going to tell you a longer story.

But it wouldn't be good to go too long. For many things, I was merely an observer, a witness, or even hearsay. You've studied Chinese history with your teacher, so you already know a lot. Therefore, I can't guarantee that everything I say is true or correct. I can only tell you what I've experienced and witnessed firsthand. But I believe that, with your intelligence, that's more than enough to judge right from wrong.

So, let me start with my background!

Biji, I've never told you this, but you should know! My grandfather was Zhang Fei, the legendary General who could sleep with his eyes open and frightened off a vast army at Dangyang. But unfortunately, like you, I never met my grandfather in person. He was already dead when I was born, reportedly beheaded for whipping his subordinates.

Even so, our family was very prominent in Shu. Your great-grandfather, Emperor Zhaolie, Liu Bei, was a man deeply attached to relationships. Since he ventured across the empire alone, without a single blood relative, he particularly valued his friends, treating them as brothers closer than even blood relatives. Consequently, he had an unprecedented number of friends. My uncle, Zhang Fei, was one of the first two friends to follow him, and since he was a rare fellow townsman, he was particularly valued.

On the day he learned of my grandfather's death, your great-grandfather remained silent for a long moment. Late in the night, he brought your grandfather to my house. Your maternal grandfather, still unaware of the situation, accompanied his two sisters to the front door to greet your great-grandfather. It was your great-grandfather who personally broke the news, then pulled your grandfather out, pointed at my aunt, and said, "This is your wife." Then, pointing to my father, he said, "This is your brother."

From then on, our family became the last relative of the Han Dynasty.

But this is also what my father told me. By the time I was born, your great-grandfather had been dead for many years. Your grandfather's first empress, my eldest aunt, had also passed away ten years earlier. That same year, he married my youngest aunt and made her empress. Your maternal grandfather, meanwhile, was also a powerful figure, holding the titles of Minister of the Interior and Minister of the Secretariat, and a trusted and trusted official of your grandfather.

Our Zhang family has produced two queens and one minister in succession. Although we are not the most powerful in the court, when it comes to glory and honor, no one in Shu can compare with us.

So on the first day I was born, your grandfather and your maternal grandfather decided that according to the agreement of their ancestors, their children would continue to marry, and the object would be either someone else or your father.

You see, your marriage was arranged so late, while I knew my future path at the beginning of my life. After all, for a woman, choosing a husband means choosing her life path.

Biji, please don't look so sad. When I was little, I was truly happy for my parents' decision. It's easy to understand, right? Everyone paid attention to me, blessed me, and doted on me. Your grandfather gifted me brocade every year, your grandmother, Wu Zhaoyi, personally taught me how to sew, and my uncles from the Guan and Zhao families often gave me unique gifts, like lychees from Lingnan, parrots from Dianchi Lake, and pearls from Hepu.

But my favorite is the jade hairpin with a phoenix and peony pattern that General Xiahou Ba gave me—the one I wear. At the time, he was persecuted by the Sima clan and fled across mountains and rivers to Shu. Because of his family connection, he took up residence in our mansion. He was very fond of me, saying I resembled his mother, and so he gave me this jade hairpin. Such exquisite craftsmanship was unheard of in Xichuan at the time, and I loved it immensely. Now I'm leaving it to you. Give it to your wife and call it a family heirloom.

Back then, I was carefree. Every day, I looked at myself in the mirror, thinking only of growing up quickly, getting married, having children, and achieving the most important happiness a woman can have. But I didn't realize back then that a woman's happiness was tied to the fate of the country, and by then, the country was already on the decline.

I was born late, and didn't experience the reign of Prime Minister Zhuge Liang during his time in Shu. Your maternal grandfather said that during his lifetime, he governed the country with strict laws, ensuring that the people's hard work paid off, leaving the bureaucracy largely free of corrupt officials. He also suppressed the Wei army, winning numerous battles and achieving victory. He was a rare talent rarely seen in the world for a century. After his death, there were no other such figures in the country. Therefore, his successors, Generals Jiang Wan and Fei Yi, gradually gave up their campaigns and focused on maintaining peace and prosperity for the people.

But when I was six years old, a major event happened in the country. General Fei Yi was assassinated.

General Fei Yi, your great aunt's biological father and the de facto prime minister, met his untimely death at the hands of a Wei defector. This was unacceptable. At the time, much debate raged within the court and the public, with many believing the country had been at peace for so long that a military campaign of retaliation was in order. Coincidentally, Wu's Prime Minister, Zhuge Ke, sent a letter to the court announcing his decisive victory over the Wei army at Dongxing, annihilating tens of thousands of enemies. This presented a golden opportunity for a Northern Expedition, and he requested our country's participation the following year. Consequently, your grandfather appointed General Jiang Wei as commander-in-chief, resuming the Northern Expedition.

I don't understand military affairs, and I've never left Chengdu. Furthermore, ever since Prime Minister Zhuge Liang relocated his capital to Hanzhong, the Northern Expeditionary Army has remained stationed there. Once the war was launched, I never even witnessed the grand ceremony. Therefore, I didn't know about these events, and I rarely heard your grandfather discuss them. All I cared about back then was making time pass quickly so I could marry your father.

I've known your father for a long time. My aunt was the empress, so my parents often brought me to the palace to pay us visits. That's why I often ran into your father. I think I first met your father when I was four years old.

That was also my first time in the palace. It was April, the spring blossoms had faded, and the summer solstice had not yet arrived. My aunt was delighted to see me and took me to the Tangerine and Pomelo Garden. The Tangerine and Pomelo Garden was the largest orchard in the palace, boasting thousands of fruit trees: peaches, cherries, loquats, and mulberries in spring; apricots, plums, grapes, and bayberries in summer; and tangerines, purple pears, red dates, and sugarcane in autumn. It was truly a haven for all. Except for very rare occasions, the garden was always in abundance with flowers and fruits, making it a favorite haunt of the palace children.

Then I ran into your father. It's strange, I've been losing a lot of memory lately, but things from my youth are becoming increasingly clear. I was holding my aunt's hand when we saw from afar some tall people picking loquats. When we got closer, we saw your father riding on your uncle Liu Xuan's head. Your father was only six years old at the time, barely that tall, while your uncle had already reached adulthood. He was eight feet tall, handsome, with strong arms and a distinctly muscular build. This led me to initially assume they were father and son, not brothers.

My aunt pointed at your father and said to me with a smile, "That's your future lover." I didn't understand, so I asked, "What is a lover?" My aunt replied, "He's your future husband, the one you'll support throughout your life."

When your uncle heard this, he shrugged and reminded your father, saying, "Sixth brother, your sister-in-law is here." Your father turned around and saw me. How adorable he was then! He was holding a bamboo stick, a bunch of loquats in his hand, and his face was covered with a few streaks of dust, like a cat that had just climbed out of a chimney. He stared at me for a while, then lowered his head and asked your uncle, "Is she Xi Miao?" Then he rolled off your uncle's body, stuffed all the loquats in his hand into my hands, and said in a condescending manner, "Madam, eat some loquats."

Thinking about it now, it's hilarious, but at the time, I was quite moved. The loquat in his hand was damp with morning dew, and the faint fruity fragrance and the fresh, leafy scent of his body enveloped me, leaving me bewildered and flustered. In short, I froze in my tracks.

Finally, your father peeled a loquat for me and said with a smile, "It's very sweet!" I subconsciously put it in my mouth. My aunt and your uncle both laughed, but I really felt that it was one of the sweetest moments in my life.

From then on, your father often came to visit me at home, either openly or secretly. He did it all. Even when he was very young, he was already very brave. Later, when he grew up, to your age, he could ride a horse and had a good archery skill. So he often left the palace, accompanied by a few guards, to hunt in the eastern suburbs. He usually returned with a full load. Every time he came back from hunting, he would pretend to pass by my house casually and give me some gifts.

Compared to the gifts from adults, his were of course quite modest. Sometimes it was a palm-sized squirrel, sometimes a wreath of apricot blossoms. Once, he shot a golden pheasant and, on a whim, plucked all its feathers and made me a feather fan. These gifts weren't particularly valuable, but I understood their meaning: they showed he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. For a woman who already had a husband, this was already the greatest happiness.

In the second year of Jingyao, when I was thirteen and your father was fifteen, your father performed the coming-of-age ceremony and was named King Xinxing. In the same year, we officially held our wedding.

That was a really happy day. Your father came to pick me up in an ink carriage. I was wearing a wedding dress decorated with gold and covering my face with a gauze fan. I walked out of the mansion led by your grandfather. When I let go of your grandfather's hand and stepped into your father's ink carriage, it meant that I was officially married. I was no longer the daughter of the Zhang family, but a member of your Liu family.

After entering the carriage, I lowered my gauze fan. The carriage was shrouded in a dark cloth, making it impossible to see anything around me. I could only see your father's back in front of the carriage, and the faint light of a candle. But I didn't feel lonely or afraid, for all around me was the sound of gongs and drums, the sounds of blessings, while the maids scattered albizzia flowers toward the carriage, and children sang as they chased after it. These feelings brought me peace and contentment. I simply thought that if I could continue this journey until I died, I would be happy.

After that, there are some very complicated rituals, such as the newlyweds washing their hands and face, eating from the same pot, and drinking three meals and three drinks. You will experience these in the future, so I will not elaborate on them here. As for Biji, you must remember that the wedding is the most important moment in a woman's life. Although it is complicated, it is the most important moment that affects the fate of the couple's marriage.

I hope that when you get married in the future, you will also be attentive, don't be bothered by the hassle, and don't leave any regrets about your wedding. For me, it was because your father gave me a wedding without regrets. He was so happy and smiling at the time. That's enough. So now, no matter what he does, I will not blame him.

After we got married, our lives became even more peaceful. Actually, it wasn't much different from now. We just added a 600-acre farm in the western suburbs of Chengdu, where your father and I have established a small family. This is perfectly normal. Your father is the sixth of his brothers, and the crown prince position was long passed to your uncle. According to Han custom, the other princes were not allowed to participate in politics. Consequently, there were fewer troubles, and we only had to take care of our own family affairs.

It's not just your father; many of your uncles are like this, too. If I had to complain about something, it's probably that six hundred acres of land is a bit too modest. The great families of Eastern Wu and Cao Wei often owned thousands of acres of land and had nearly a thousand servants. But we also know that the country is in trouble, and extravagance is not an option. Even a renowned general like General Zhang Yi often struggled to afford medical care. We have enough food and clothing, so what is there to complain about?
Among his brothers, your father was truly a wise king. After he married me, he was the one who managed the family business.

He mingled with the tenants, working the fields, digging canals, and hunting with them. All of the one hundred households in the village admired him. Whenever a family encountered a problem, he would immediately help solve it. Of the taxes collected from the village, he would often keep only half for himself, sending the rest to the Ministry of Personnel, claiming it would be used for military supplies. People inside and outside the court praised him, saying, "Your father's diligence, thriftiness, and virtue are a model for a prince."

Back then, your father treated me well. He didn't take concubines or drink. Although his freewheeling speech often startled me, he was a straightforward person. I never had to guess what was on his mind. He cried when he wanted to, laughed when he wanted to. No matter how big his troubles were, he would cry and cry for a while, and it would all be over the next day. Time was as simple as Lao Tzu said: men farm and women weave, spring plowing and summer weeding, working from sunrise to sunset.

My mother would visit me regularly during that time, and seeing our harmonious marriage, she was very pleased. Her only regret was that I still had no children. She would often research folk remedies, then send them to me when she had them, telling me, "No matter how happy a woman is, she can't live without children. Having a child is the true fulfillment."

She urged me to take it seriously, so during that time, my biggest concern was getting pregnant, but unfortunately I never got pregnant. But I was still young at the time, and your father was also young, so there was still time to wait.

But some things cannot wait, such as spring plowing. If spring plowing is delayed for too long, there will be famine. Another example is government affairs. If government affairs are delayed for too long, it will lead to disaster.

Just when your father and I were still living our own lives and thought that life would always go on like this, the disaster came silently. When the crisis really came, you realized that many things you thought would last forever were actually so fragile that they were not worth mentioning.

In the fifth year of Jingyao, which was the third year after your father and I got married, a major event happened in the court. General Jiang Wei fled to Dazhong to avoid disaster, and the disaster of destroying the country came.

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(End of this chapter)