I'm being held captive by a monster

Chapter 96: My thoughts on the release of the book (written last year), it will be released tomorrow, Wednesday at noon!!!

Flow-saving version:
It will be on the shelves tomorrow, Wednesday at 12 noon. I will burn myself out and release all my saved manuscripts!

At least five updates as a minimum, and then update as much as you can write on that day!

The more monthly tickets I get, the faster I write!

……

……

Heartfelt version (very long, because it’s really heartfelt):
……

In 2019, the grain factory that my parents had been planning for a long time began production, and my college entrance examination results were also ideal.

In 2020, due to the epidemic, the school delayed the start of the semester and our family of four was locked up at home.

One night, at 1:43 in the morning, I heard my parents whispering in the living room about how to spend the next few days.

Dozens of tons of grain stored in the factory are rotting away, finished products cannot be shipped out, and workers' wages and bank loans...

That night I sat on the floor with my back against the door and listened secretly for a long time.

I only have one thought in my mind: I want to make money.

But what to do?

Write a novel.

At that time, I had almost no hesitation in my mind, and the thought just came to me so suddenly.

Maybe it’s because I started reading novels in elementary school, or maybe it’s because I started writing novels in my diary in junior high school.

Anyway, at three in the morning, I opened the WeChat file transfer assistant and started typing in the chat box on my phone.

I understand nothing, I think nothing, I know nothing.

So I started writing my first book with ignorance but determination.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been a reader for too many years and read too many novels, so the idea of becoming a writer has already sprouted in my mind.

In a fit of rage, I wrote in one breath until after nine o'clock the next day.

Looking at the more than 4,000 words I typed out in one night, I suddenly realized, what happens after I finish writing?

I found this out after searching for a long time.

It turns out that you have to first choose a website to publish the book, then sign a contract, then put it on the shelves, and then you can make money after it is put on the shelves.

Four years ago there weren't many websites to choose from.

I chose Qidian Chinese Network.

Because it was only then that I realized that when I was a child, when I went to the bookstore to buy physical books, most of the online articles I read were written by authors from Qidian.

What’s more, its full attendance fee is 600 yuan!

Just 600 words a day, and you’ll get yuan a month!
And I don’t think I don’t have any readers, right?
Adding in the subscription fees from readers, I should be able to make a few thousand yuan a month, right? That way, I don't have to worry about my family's living expenses.

So I quickly downloaded a writer's assistant.

It took me two hours to come up with a thought-provoking title and write a mysterious introduction.

The moment the book was sent out and I saw the words "waiting for review", my heart was pounding.

I had a dream during my nap. I dreamt about many plots and stories.

It was like an animation playing in my mind as if the novel I wrote was playing.

When I woke up, I saw that the review had passed and I could search for my book.

I was very excited and read my first two chapters over and over again. Suddenly, I felt that I was valuable.

During those days I almost entered a state of selflessness.

Although the number of collections is always 1, there are no recommendation votes, no comments, and no chapter comments, I am extremely excited to write every day.

It was not until I had written 30,000 words that I realized that passing the review did not mean a successful contract.

The contract is signed when the editor sends a message to the backend. The contract is printed and mailed after signing.

This site is short, and well-written articles can be received in less than 10,000 words, while the average person can receive it in 30,000 to 50,000 words.

I looked at my blank backstage and didn't feel too lost.

Because I have already written 30,000 words, I should get a message soon.

But now I’m not allowed to leave the house, how can I mail the contract?
I couldn't help but feel a little distressed.

Fortunately, this distress did not last long.

Because I gradually realized that I couldn't receive any text messages.

1 words, no short messages, collection.

1 words, no short messages, collection.

1 words, no short messages, collection.

"Don't give up. The editor has been following you. He wants to see how your writing progresses. There will be another batch after you reach 80,000 words."

"Now the editor is testing whether you can persist in writing. At most, if you reach 100 words, you can apply for a contract yourself. The editor will definitely respond."

I kept searching and I don’t know how long it took me to find a comment like this.

Although I know this is just consolation, I just want to believe it.

I don't want to admit that I worked so hard for so long, only to create a bunch of worthless garbage.

So I have to check the background every few minutes of writing.

Sixty thousand words. I thought the title might not be good enough, so I changed it to a more stylish title with two words.

Seventy thousand words. I thought the category might not have been chosen correctly, so I applied to switch from the suspense section to the light novel section.

At 80,000 words, do I think the editor’s test is a bit too much?

It was not until I had written 100,000 words that I took the initiative to apply for a contract.

If the reply after seven days does not meet the contract signing criteria, you can apply again after ten days.

At that moment I felt like the sky was falling.

But I gained my first reader, who gave me twenty-four recommendation votes at once and posted a message of encouragement in the comment section.

On the next day's daily work report, my collection went from 1 to 2.

Oh my god, I just realized that this number will change.

Thanks to this one reader, I continued writing.

Although after that day, he never cast a vote or made a comment again.

Ten days later, it was 150,000 words. I applied for the second time and received a reply seven days later that it was not approved.

The third application of 200,000 words was not accepted.

The fourth time, the fifth time, the sixth time...

I had written 430,000 words without realizing it.

After three months, the community was unsealed, but I couldn't hold on any longer.

Not only because no matter how many times I applied, I would get a reply on the seventh day saying I couldn't sign the contract.

The main reason is that I can’t continue writing.

Every day I rack my brains to cram in 4,000 words, but my mind is empty and there is no plot.

The occasional flashes of inspiration are only fragmentary and are far from being able to form a book.

So I started to actively search how to sign a contract and how to write the beginning.

It turns out that the opening should create a sense of immersion, introduce the identity of the protagonist, and point out the protagonist's cheat code.

The character of the protagonist must be highlighted, there must be emotions, conflicts, suspense hooks, and the reader must have a sense of anticipation.

Instead of long descriptions of scenery and long rhetorical metaphors.

During that time, I was very eagerly searching for various formulas and strategies on various software, and everyone looked like a big shot to me.

After I had learned enough, I started writing my second book.

I came up with an idea that I thought was unparalleled, a brilliant story.

Then I spent three days writing ten chapters, totaling 25,000 words.

After I finished writing it, I spent 40 yuan on paid consultation on Zhihu, asking a big shot to take a look at this beginning.

Then I waited for his reply as if it were an imperial decree.

I said in the question that I am not sensitive and let him comment freely, but I still expect him to praise me.

Even if it's just a "come on" sound, please, can you make me happy for a moment?
He responded a few hours later.

It's too immature, too watery, and the writing is really average. If I were the editor, I wouldn't sign it.

I only read his answer once because I didn't dare to read it a second time.

Looking back at my article now, I think what he said is very right and very tactful.

What I wrote was a bunch of shit, a bunch of garbage, without any value.

There is an embarrassing confidence between the lines, as if this book is a world classic.

But when you read it, it seems like the author is trying to please the readers by making a fool of himself and telling cheap jokes, begging the readers to take a look.

The protagonist seems to be a rubbish actor who only knows how to stare at the camera, put his face in front of the camera and chatter incessantly.

The next day, I followed the guide, attached a book title, introduction and outline, and sent it to the editor's email address.

Seven days have passed and the editor has not responded.

It doesn’t matter. There is a Saturday and Sunday in between, and the editor is not working. Just wait for two more days.

Two days later, still no response.

I read my beginning over and over again according to the opening guide.

I revised it again to make it more precise, and then submitted it to a new editor.

I received a reply seven days later, stating that the criteria for signing an internal investment contract were not met.

I was so tired at that moment.

Introduce the protagonist within 300 words, write the world view within 500 words, introduce the conflict within 1,500 words, and have a cheat code within 2,000 words.

I clearly meet all the requirements, why am I still not passing?
That evening, I saw an extra comment in the review section of my first book.

"Haha, I knew a new author wouldn't be able to stick with it, and sure enough."

I looked at the backstage and the collection became 1 again.

Fortunately, it has been four years and I have long forgotten how I felt at that time.

I just remember how I felt when I received the email three days later saying I could sign the contract.

At that time, the newly established website was a free website.

The salary for perfect attendance is 1000 yuan, which is 400 yuan more than the starting point at that time.

I think it shouldn’t be that difficult to invest in a newly established website, right?

So I resubmitted the manuscript that had been rejected twice to the editor there.

A day later, I received a reply email.

There are only four words on it - add me on QQ.

I watched it for a full minute.

At that moment, I felt that my eyes were instantly filled with colors.

It turns out that the weather outside is so good, the flowers are so bright, and winter has passed without us noticing.

I added the editor on QQ, and with his guidance, I came up with a title and introduction for the book and published it.

Five months into writing the book, I got my first contract.

At that time, you could see yesterday’s income every day.

The editor often posts screenshots of himself earning thousands of yuan a day in the group.

I only earned a few cents, and during the two days when I was given the quota of 100,000 words, I only made more than ten yuan a day.

But I was extremely happy during that time.

Because as long as you write 4,000 words a day, you can earn 1,000 yuan, because there will be one or two comments from readers every day.

And everyone in the author group is very friendly.

Although I don’t often hang out in the group, I still learned more writing skills from the group files.

Ever since I started writing books, I suddenly became more resistant to reading other people's books.

The better other people's books are written, the more uncomfortable I feel when reading them. I feel jealous and envious.

But after signing the contract, I developed the habit of reading every day again.

It’s just that I have truly transformed from a reader into an author. I will repeatedly read other people’s openings and actively learn from them.

More than a month later, I earned the first money I ever made in my life, more than a thousand yuan.

I didn't have that feeling even when I earned 40,000 yuan a month in royalties.

On Mother's Day, I bought a bouquet of flowers for my mother.

Later I began to look forward to holidays so that I could give my mother a gift.

At that time, I thought that as long as I had this thousand yuan, I could write forever.

But one day, I saw in the group that this website was going to change its attendance rules.

It seems that the free income every month is more than one hundred, and only then can you get one thousand with full attendance.

I asked my editor if this was true.

The editor said yes.

I wanted to give it a try, so I updated five or six thousand words every day and earned another month's worth of free work, but my free income was only forty or fifty yuan a month.

So in the month that the rule came into effect, I hastily finished the book.

This book has 490,000 words, which is the same as my first book, which does not exceed 500,000 words.

At that time, I thought that one of my books must exceed 500,000 words.

I have indeed made progress in these few months here.

I learned to take apart books and I learned to summarize.

Most importantly, I learned how to keep my readers entertained.

It just so happened that "Dihua" was popular on Qidian at that time, so I wrote a 20,000-word introduction and re-submitted it to Qidian.

Unfortunately, it didn’t pass.

So I started revising it again, and after a month, I submitted it to a new editor at Qidian, and it was accepted.

It has been four years. I remember it was Thursday night at 10:47. I was watching "Night Players" by Kindergarten Leader, and the song in my headphones was "Red Sun" by Hacken Lee. When the song sang the line "Even if fate threatens you that life is boring", I saw a message pop up in my QQ mailbox - you can sign a contract, add me on QQ.

What can I say at that moment?

Ah, finally...

That was my first book on Qidian.com. I wrote 5 words, but it only had a little over collections, with an average subscription of only . I earned yuan for three months of perfect attendance. Yes, I was lucky. After publishing the book, Qidian.com implemented a new policy, and the perfect attendance salary went from yuan to yuan.

After finishing this book, I was very proud of myself.

That was when I was most passionate about writing. In addition to updating every day, I would also write a new book of 2,000 words.

By the time it’s finished, my new book will have almost 100,000 words.

I submitted it to the editor, but it was rejected.

I revised and revised for two months, from 100,000 words to 200,000 words. I submitted it to five or six editors, but it was not accepted by any of them.

I started doubting myself again.

But it just so happened that at that time, China Literature launched a new free website called Kunlun Chinese Network.

I have benefited from the new website again and my manuscript has been approved.

At Kunlun, I wrote two books, one with more than 800,000 words and the other with more than 500,000 words. After earning a total of 15,000 yuan, I wrote the beginning of another 20,000 words and started investing in Qidian again.

It was a familiar plot, but I still failed and was rejected.

Once, twice, three times, four times... ten times...

That was the first time I really, really wanted to give up.

For the first time, I really don’t want to write anymore. I’m so tired, so exhausted…

I really can’t write it well anyway…

But every next day, I would still open Word and start revising it.

The book was finally approved.

It's my best book so far.

Although it is in the unpopular suspense area, it is still a first-order boutique, with an average subscription of 4 at its peak and a monthly income of +.

That was November 2021, and I had been writing for a year and a half.

Unfortunately, however, this book has already begun to show signs of fatigue as a fantasy novel when it reaches 150,000 words.

A small collapse after 300,000 words.

Six hundred thousand words completely collapsed.

By the end, there were only 400 followers.

This book made me $250,000.

Including previous royalties, after two and a half years of writing the book, our family had paid off all the debts owed to relatives and friends, leaving only the bank loan.

After finishing this book, I entered the summer vacation of my junior year and started my internship.

My plan is to start a new book while doing my internship.

But the internship was really tiring, as the bus ride to and from the university took three hours every day.

I will always remember the scene of seven or eight buses queuing in front of the Talent Apartment Station and the constant flow of people.

Although I don’t have much work to do every day, I am always playing idioms in the dormitory group at my workstation.

But when I got back to the dormitory, I was still exhausted and just wanted to lie down and do nothing.

Two months of internship made me numb.

I became uninterested in anything.

I don’t want to socialize, I don’t want to talk, nothing matters, I just want to lie down.

A week after the internship ended, I started a new book and cut it to 100,000 words.

Because I actually felt the pain of writing a book.

It wasn't like this before...

So I adjusted for a month and opened another one.

That book was very popular. It was about a very popular horror game at the time. It was in the top ten of the new book list on the first day of trial.

But unfortunately, I became impotent when the policy was fully liberalized.

A painful fever is not a problem.

The problem is that I found myself suddenly exhausted.

Sitting in front of the computer, the gushing inspiration suddenly disappeared.

I had thought about and simulated the climax several times in my mind, but the words I wrote down were dry.

No emotion whatsoever.

Ugh.

I broke down and cut the book again.

That winter, our whole family went to Hainan to celebrate the New Year.

In a beautiful village with mountains and rivers, I sit in an abandoned watchtower every day thinking about new books.

During that time, I wrote an introduction almost every day.

But the writing is shit.

In the past, my manuscripts could never be approved by the editor.

But during that period, I couldn't get past the manuscript of the beginning I wrote.

One month, two months, three months passed like this...

I keep writing, but it seems like I'm always writing.

I lost my confidence.

In the past, no matter what I wrote, I would feel a sense of accomplishment, at least I wrote so many words.

But at that time, I completely lost confidence in myself.

After writing a paragraph, I will subconsciously feel that what I wrote is rubbish.

It wasn't until I graduated from college that I started a new book.

The first order was 800, which was good, but the pressure was really too great at that time.

I'm stuck in a writer's block every day. Every thousand words I update are spent describing empty scenes. The more I write, the more painful and uncomfortable it becomes.

So after 400,000 words, I really couldn't write a single word.

I really tried my best, but I was also really exhausted.

There is nothing in my mind.

Sometimes even trying your best may not lead to any good results.

I've let my readers down, and I'm sorry.

But the painful thing is that this is the reality, everything is my problem.

I don't know how it became like this.

When I first started writing novels, I was full of enthusiasm even though I didn't have a single reader.

Obviously I love writing.

But how did this love disappear?
Why did it abandon me?

Sorry, I really can't write anymore.

——————The above is the eunuch’s speech I wrote on November 2023, 11, but I didn’t send it out in the end——————————

After writing this reminiscence, I uninstalled Qidian.

Because at that time I began to fear reading online articles. Whenever I saw other people’s excellent works, I would think of the self who loved writing in the past.

The more outstanding I was in the past, the more useless I seem now, and the more I hate myself now.

I started watching all kinds of sports.

Because the passion of sports can shake my numb heart.

I was like a thief, secretly bringing in the winners' celebration, secretly bringing in their joy of finally lifting the trophy after hard training and sweating.

It was as if I had also gone through a training.

But reading novels takes up a lot of free time in my life, and I still can't quit.

I only persisted for two months, and then it was the Chinese New Year, so I started reading novels again.

It was like I suddenly rediscovered the fun of secretly staying up until two or three in the morning to read novels in junior high school. I found that I had missed too many excellent novels over the years.

During that time, except for eating and sleeping, I watched it almost all the time.

Urban Soldier King, fantasy, imaginative history, formal history, sports, spy war...

Women's fast-travel novels, wife-chasing crematoriums, and literature about the dead...

Finally, a horror thriller.

I discovered that only terror, despair, horror, and this kind of deep and primitive emotion can move my numb heart and make me feel "alive."

During that time, I read a lot of horror novels and watched a lot of horror movies.

As I read it, I felt like writing it.

But I don't know why, but I still feel terrified when I think about writing a book.

Until I saw my diary from the ninth year of junior high school.

So I reopened Word.

After writing, submit it to the editor.

The editing failed.

I guess I felt it would not pass the review after seeing the opening.

But I didn't have any fluctuations, and I stopped investing, so I just started writing quietly.

I write when I want to write every day, and don’t write when I don’t want to write. Life is very comfortable.

I feel like my passion seems to be coming back.

Anyway, it's written for myself, so it doesn't matter how I write it.

It won’t pass the review anyway, so just cross the line however you want.

Until one day, I saw Ziliang posted a QQ space.

He said he wanted to revive suspense and was actively accepting submissions.

Ah, Ziliang...

He was the first editor I knew. In 16, in Ah Fei's book "The Boy Who Ate Ghosts", Ah Fei thanked Ziliang in a speech.

I forgot how he wrote it at that time.

But I still remember how I felt then.

I think this editor is so good, he is so great. Without him, how could I have so many good books to read?
But unfortunately, since I submitted my first novel to Ziliang, he has never approved my manuscript.

What impressed me most was that Ziliang always kept all the manuscripts until Friday.

I voted for him every week, and he replied to me every Friday, of course rejecting it.

He and I maintained this secret relationship for a month.

Until one Friday, when he didn't reply to me, I plucked up the courage to add him on QQ to ask him something.

He said, go write what you want to write, this is not suitable for you.

Then the second sentence is that the number of friend slots is limited, so delete it first.

I said yes.

Later, after I wrote the results, I secretly submitted them to him, but he rejected them.

I also recommended a friend who had just written a book to Tou Ziliang, hoping to give him some encouragement so that he would realize the cruelty of online literature.

But I didn’t expect that my friend’s manuscript would be approved directly.

At that moment, I felt mixed emotions.

Unexpectedly, I finally got my manuscript approved by him.

This is the book you are reading now.

It will be available tomorrow, Wednesday at 12 noon.

I will burn myself out and release all my saved manuscripts!

At least five updates as a minimum, and I can write as much as I can on the same day if there are more to read!

Of course, the more monthly votes you give me, the more I will write!

Finally, I uninstalled Writer's Assistant after putting it on the shelf.

Every morning when I wake up and open Qidian, there are usually four or five more book reviews.

Basically all the reviews are negative, but I deleted only a few that were personal attacks or map attacks.

In fact, I am very fragile and my mentality is still very bad.

Because this book was written after I found my passion again.

It’s actually very sad when I see something I wrote with passion being called rubbish.

Even though I know that some of the plots do have problems.

So I choose to escape!

I'm a coward!

I will uninstall Writer's Assistant immediately after posting the chapters that will be published tomorrow and will no longer read the comments.

But you can join the book club, and I will see what you say in the group!

Finally, thank you all for reading this!

Thanks Ziliang!

Thanks to the big guys for recommending my chapter (in no particular order):

National Forensic Doctor Zhiniao Village
Yin Yang Mirror: Little Fish

Ah Fei in Yellow from "Deep Living"

"Rekindling the Youthful Era"
"Shadows of the Deep Sky" - False Royal Court

"It is the king of abstraction, we are saved" Lost Believer

My Father, Li Shimin, Please Call Your Majesty the Crown Prince (written in Spring and Autumn Annals)
The Night Falls: I Kill Through the Wasteland with Entries
"I'm Immortal Speedrunning Supernatural Game" Go to the dock to get some French fries

"What Bad Thoughts Can Batman Have" by Mr. Skeleton

I am Gusu Murongfu - After the Rain
Then I will recommend two books recommended by book friends (if you have any new books you think are good, please feel free to contact me privately, I also love reading):
Immortal Awakening

After my Taoist companion was crippled, the fairy who coveted me took action.

Finally, thank you all for your monthly tickets and rewards!

Then there will be no update after midnight, and the update will be put on the shelves at 12 noon tomorrow!

(End of this chapter)