I was forced to cultivate immortality when I just wanted to lie down

Chapter 181 A Skilled Housekeeper
On Jingxia Street, Xu Qing carried large and small bags of Beijing specialties, looking no different from an ordinary merchant who had just returned from traveling.

Although the merchants lost a lot of money on this trip, almost losing everything, they still managed to come back, albeit barely.

Inside the coroner's shop, a familiar figure appeared at the door. A tall woman suddenly darted out of the shop and pounced on Xu Qing.

"Hey! You still think you're a cat? I'm carrying something in my hand!"

Xuan Yu had been managing the shop, and when she came out, she was still possessing Sun Erniang's body. This female zombie was tall and slender, and when she pounced, her headbutt hit Xu Qing's chin.

It doesn't hurt, but sparks are constantly flying out of my mouth!

The silver-armored female zombie was already impervious to swords and spears, so when she bumped into Xu Qing, who was lying in golden armor, it was like a hammer hitting an anvil.

Inside the incense and candle shop, Cheng Caiyun heard the noise and came to the door with her rice bowl.

Boss Cheng glanced at the door and saw a couple of adulterers cuddling together in broad daylight in front of the mortuary, seemingly oblivious to their surroundings.

Looking at the pair of swallows chirping and flying back and forth under the eaves of the coroner's shop, Cheng Caiyun felt that breakfast was no longer appealing.

In the coroner's shop, a zombie and a cat live together.

Xu Qing stewed a pot of fish, and the cat hissed, panting for the hot food, wanting to eat but afraid of burning its mouth.

While there's a limit to how hot soup can get, Xu Qing's stew of spirit fish was, for some reason, exceptionally scalding hot.

Xuan Yu, being an expert in eating fish, immediately noticed the problem.

Fish soup is usually milky white when it's simmered, but today's fish soup is golden yellow.

Its taste is also quite different from that of ordinary spirit fish.

Faced with Xuan Yu's question, Xu Qing nonchalantly fished out a scale the size of a bowl from the pot.

"What is this?" Xuan Yu's eyes widened as he sensed the thick blood energy emanating from the cyan-gold scales.

"I don't know, maybe it's a scale that fell off some demonic fish. Judging from its appearance, it must have been a powerful demon."

As she spoke, a section of her index fingernail with a dark gold matte finish emerged from the tip of her index finger.

The fingernail extended only half an inch in length before a strange, smoldering flame suddenly shot out, instantly enveloping the corpse armor.

The intense heat, combined with the sharp fingernails slicing through the lapis lazuli scales, quickly cut the hard scales into several pieces.

Xu Qing's elegant movements resembled those of someone cutting a steak. Xuan Yu looked at the already cut ingredients in front of him and, for the first time, doubted whether his teeth could handle the fish scales.

Then look at Xu Qing, crunching as if he were eating pebbles.

Since breaking through the Corpse-Taming Realm, Xu Qing has gained two extremely convenient abilities. One is that after subduing the Mountain Tiger Lord, his fingernails can freely extend and retract, reaching a length of over a foot at most, and retracting completely under his skin at the shortest.

Another ability is Corpse Fang.

Even if Xu Qing were to eat copper or iron pellets now, it would be as easy as eating beans; he could chew them up and mash them to pieces.

Similarly, even fangs that are only an inch long can retract freely.

Xu Qing guessed that those cultivators with copper heads and iron bones might also have the ability to swallow copper pellets.

However, in a true comparison, at the same level, probably no human or demon can match the bite force of a zombie.

"If Xuan Yu can't chew it, I can help Xuan Yu chew it first."

"."

Although Xuan Yu's teeth are not as strong as Xu Qing's, she is still a cat demon with several hundred years of cultivation. No matter what, she shouldn't have to be reduced to eating imported food.

While ordinary kittens do sometimes need humans to chew and feed them, they are not those useless kittens that only rely on humans!

After finishing his breakfast, Xuan Yu couldn't wait to take Xu Qing to the side room.

Seeing Xuan Yu's mysterious demeanor, Xu Qing was completely baffled.

Upon opening the door, Xu Qing froze on the spot!
In the frosty side room, all sorts of corpses were piled up.

Men and women, young and old, some with heads and some without, some staring wide-eyed and some with closed eyes, and some dressed in prison uniforms engaging in uniform seduction.

Xu Qing roughly estimated that there must be at least seventy or eighty corpses.

To prevent decay, many ice-repelling talismans were pasted inside the house, and aloe vera powder was applied to the corpse to prevent moisture and decay.

“These corpses.” Xu Qing looked at Xuan Yu with surprise and doubt.

The latter jumped onto the coffin lid, raised its neck, and displayed its masterpiece without reservation.

"These are all corpses the shop collected while you were away."

"Some were from the government, some were sent by Master Li, and a few were thieves who broke into the Shuimenqiao villa to steal, but were scared out of their wits."

Xuan Yu knew them all like the back of his hand.

Xu Qing examined them one by one, and as Xuan Yu had said, all the corpses matched.

Even those few terrified thieves still look horrified, as if they've seen a ghost.

Xu Qing looked at the well-behaved and sensible Xuan Yu and remained silent for a long time.

He must have accumulated a great deal of good karma to be able to hire such a virtuous cat who manages the household so well.

Around noon, after lunch, Xu Qing took a walk to visit some acquaintances.

Not long after Master Yizhen returned, Xu Qing had nothing to give him, so he simply gave him some of his own homemade rouge and face powder. As someone who frequently performed burials for the dead, he could be considered a top-notch makeup artist, and the cosmetics he had were naturally high-end products for the burial of corpse beauties.

As for acquaintances in the yamen, such as the clerk Tang Zhou, the gatekeeper Qin, and some familiar yamen runners, Xu Qing was much more perfunctory with them. He would simply soak the wine bugs in a water jar, give each of them a jar, and that would be the end of it.

However, even though it was a 'fake wine' that Xu Qing casually gave away, it was still far superior to any good wine. Even the signature Drunken Immortal Brew of Drunken Immortal Pavilion was not necessarily better than his wine.

Wine worms are the essence of wine. When water is stored in a jar and the worms are added and stirred, fine wine is produced.

This method has reached a profound and divine level, and is naturally incomparable to ordinary brewing.

In addition, people like Brother Wang from the coroner's office, Master Li from the brokerage firm, and Master Feng from Flower and Bird Street are all Xu Qing's beloved relatives and friends.

Their ability to continuously provide Xu Qing with corpses and items related to the underworld is secondary; the key is that the brothers have a harmonious relationship, so the gifts they send naturally have to be more thoughtful.

As for Guo Dongyang at the teahouse, Xu Qing had long forgotten about him. If he hadn't passed by Fulai Teahouse and heard the familiar storytelling voice inside, he would have completely forgotten about him.

I went inside and listened to the storytelling for a while. Just then, Guo Dongyang happened to be telling the story of how, half a year ago, a deity descended to save the suffering people in Linjiang and Wanshou counties. "Dear readers," he said, "today's story is not about talented scholars and beautiful women, nor about kings and generals. It is simply a tale of a celestial maiden appearing to save the common people."

"Two years ago, the Yaozhou River overflowed its gates, flooding two prefectures and sixteen counties."

"Just at this point in the hell on earth, a temple dedicated to the Goddess of Mystery appeared twenty miles away from Wanshou County."

"Nobody knows when this temple was built. Just think about it, how many people are there in Wanshou County? There are so many people coming and going every day, chopping wood, hunting, hiking, and so on, yet not a single one of them knows the origin of this temple."

Downstairs in the teahouse, Xu Qing found an inconspicuous spot and sat sideways to listen to Guo Dongyang's storytelling. When he heard Guo Dongyang recount the origins of the Xuan Nu Temple, he was slightly taken aback.

Did this old fellow make a special trip to Wanshou County to investigate and visit people? Otherwise, how would he know so many details?

Continuing to listen, Guo Dongyang put his fan in his hand, glanced around, and said:

"The Xuan Nu Temple was not as grand as the main temple, and few people went there to worship. The green tiles on the roof were covered with dust, the gold paint on the statues had faded, and the incense was so cold that ice crystals formed."

But in this desolate temple, a refugee suddenly wandered in one day. And what did that refugee look like?

Guo Dongyang chuckled and said, "This man is so thin that his cheeks are sunken in so much that they could hold two ounces of water, and his eye sockets are three inches deeper than well holes. He's only wrapped in a tattered coat, which swirls around in the wind, making him look like the bark of a thousand-year-old poplar tree."

This person walks without making a sound, floating as if stepping on cotton; if you didn't know better, you'd think it was a reed stalk that had come to life.

Some of the onlookers who were drinking tea laughed as they listened, but Xu Qing remained silent.

He had seen what those refugees looked like, but now he couldn't bring himself to smile no matter what.

"The man entered the Xuan Nu Temple and was on the verge of starvation, but instead of seeking a way to survive, he opened his arms and took out a thin, yellowish baby."

"The man placed the child on the incense table and, without saying a word, kowtowed three times, drawing blood!"

"Goddess Xuan Nu, please open your eyes! I don't care whether I live or die, but this child is suffering. His mother passed away yesterday, and this morning the baby was still clinging to her cold corpse, looking for milk."

"I really can't find anyone to save him, so I have no choice but to beg you."

Guo Dongyang spoke with great conviction, and Xu Qing initially didn't take it seriously, thinking it was just nonsense the old man had heard somewhere. However, when he heard the Goddess Xuan Nu holding a vase and plucking a willow branch to manifest her power, Xu Qing finally couldn't hold back anymore.

Are you talking about the Goddess Xuan Nu?

“The goddess gently touched the incense burner with a willow branch, and the incense ash inside turned into white rice and flour. From then on, the refugees within a hundred miles had food to eat.”

"It's strange, but no matter how many troops come to collect grain, the mountain of rice never seems to diminish, and the noodles at the temple gate never seem to run out."

"Unfortunately, the Goddess Xuan Nu secretly distributed grain, which displeased the Heavenly Emperor. Just when the disaster victims had managed to save their lives, heavenly fire suddenly descended and burned the Goddess Xuan Nu Temple to the ground."

"Until this spring, when the rains fell, a clear spring suddenly appeared in front of the Temple of the Mysterious Woman. A stone tablet beside the spring displayed four lines of poetry, which said: 'Clay sculptures can save those in distress, true gods are not found in diligent incense offerings. If officials throughout the land are to be upright, why would gods need to manifest their divine power?'"

The tea drinkers below were discussing it animatedly, and someone said, "Could it really be true? I've heard that there is indeed a new spring and a stone tablet in Wanshou County, and there are indeed a few lines of poetry engraved on it."

Xu Qing frowned slightly. He had no intention of erecting a monument, nor did he have the leisure to dig out a spring.

Who did this?
After leaving the teahouse, Xu Qing did nothing else, but he remembered the stele erected by the mysterious person outside the ruins of the Xuan Nu Temple.

You should remember this; there might be more stories about this stele in the future.

After strolling around the morgue and visiting his friends, Xu Qing returned to his own 'morgue'.

Closing the door, Xu Qing looked at the storeroom full of corpses and rubbed his hands excitedly. The six months he had been cooped up in the imperial mausoleum had made him feel like he was growing hair all over his body. Now that he had returned from his seclusion, apart from a few bites at a noodle stall, this was the first time he had ever enjoyed touching a corpse.

As you turn the pages of the "Scripture of Salvation," a revolving lantern of all sorts of people from different religions and social classes appears before your eyes.

Needless to say, the usual staples like Dali Pills and dog-skin plasters were just for replenishing the stock. In addition to some common folk crafts, Xu Qing also learned an interesting little skill - the art of deceiving people with fakes.

This is a little trick used in the world of counterfeiting. Antiques, calligraphy and paintings, rare treasures—anything whose authenticity can be determined by its appearance and texture—can be counterfeited using this technique.

Xu Qing was somewhat interested in this little trick, but he was even more interested in the man's revolving lantern.

This man was a regular at Flower and Bird Street, often dealing in counterfeit items. Several paintings that Master Feng bought were made by him.

Later, this person's crimes were exposed, and he was imprisoned.

According to the laws of the Great Yong Dynasty, as long as you don't counterfeit money or fake medicine that kills people, you are generally sentenced to imprisonment, not death.

However, when the incident occurred, the man was immediately imprisoned in a death row cell by the authorities.

The reason is simple: many wealthy merchants and gentry in Tianjin have spent a lot of money to buy counterfeit goods from this person, and there are even some Tianjin officials among them.

The only problem was that the counterfeit goods were so realistic, but because they were so realistic, the judge in charge of the case sentenced the man to death.

The charge, however, was counterfeiting silver.

Outsiders were unaware of the inside story, and after the autumn harvest, those counterfeit goods became genuine.

If Xu Qing's prediction is correct, Feng Erye is still completely unaware of the truth about those paintings, spending his days admiring the fake ones.

Besides Master Feng, the original copy of the poem on integrity, "To Yu Qianwen," which the prefect of Tianjin had displayed in his residence, was also a fake. Other fakes included the Flying Horse on a Swallow in the governor's mansion, the Treasure Basin in Master Zhang's house, and the Lady Painting treasured by Master Chu.
Xu Qing looked around and was amazed.

Regardless of whether this person's forgery skills are superb, their audacity is truly astounding!
Any one of these people could have killed him on their own, yet he dared to deceive them all.

Xu Qing recounted the other party's history of deception and fraud, but found no instances of them deceiving ordinary people.

The worst victims were all wealthy local gentry.

This method of deception is somewhat similar to the Ma Men of the Jianghu's Eight Hidden Sects.

Without exception, all the swindlers in Mamen are lone wolf con artists.

These swindlers are all highly skilled, and most of them disguise themselves as monks, Taoist priests, or other hidden masters to swindle money from wealthy families.

Most of the skills they learned were related to forgery.

Street performers often display words on white paper, fish out of boiling oil, or break large stones on their chests, all fall into this category. However, street performers do not pretend to be reclusive masters and use these fake tricks to perform healing, exorcism, or ghost-catching tricks.

In the world of Ma Men, the most sophisticated forgery involves swindling the imperial family. It is said that the founder of Ma Men once rose to the position of Imperial Advisor using this technique, and no one discovered his deception until his death.

Or rather, even if they discovered it was fake, the royal family at that time had to swallow their pride and accept it as real in order to save face for the royal family.

If something is fake enough, then it becomes real!
"He's a talented person, it's just a pity that such a skilled craftsman almost caused this craft to be completely lost, thankfully he met me."

There are no zombies in the Book of Life and Death. Xu Qing has learned many unique skills, and as long as he exists in the world, these skills from the corpses will not be lost.

(End of this chapter)