I was forced to cultivate immortality when I just wanted to lie down

Chapter 186 Funeral Pre-sale, Widow Arrives

Grandpa Lou passed away peacefully.

On the street, which is only about a mile from the city gate, a ditch nearly ten feet long has been dug out.

Inside the city gate, soldiers who were taking shelter from the rain heard a commotion and were about to brave the rain to investigate when they saw a group of paper figures carrying a coffin and scattering paper money appear in the rain.

A blinding flash of white lightning further accentuated the underworld atmosphere of the paper figure.

The soldiers guarding the city followed their instincts and immediately withdrew their feet, pretending they hadn't seen anything.

After the paper figure put the corpse into the coffin, only a red-hot axe remained stuck in the ground, hissing and emitting white smoke.

The burning wooden axe handle turned charcoal black after being soaked by rain.

The paper figures walked along both sides of the ravine, with the coffin carried by thirty-two poles submerged in the ravine, making its way towards the city gate.

The paper money was scattered, and the waterproof white paper lanterns stood out conspicuously on the rainy day, like will-o'-the-wisps rising from the grave, eerie and cold.

The soldiers at the city gate, as well as some civilians who were sheltering from the rain in the city gate tunnel, were all huddled in a corner, shivering.

The tall, thin paper figure walked through the city gate, bringing with it gusts of eerie wind and a strange smell of incense.

By the time everyone came to their senses, the paper figure funeral procession had already left the city gates in a grand procession and disappeared without a trace.

When the rain stopped and the sky cleared, Wanshou County returned to its usual appearance, as if everything that had just happened was an illusion.

At the coroner's shop, Wang's youngest sister enjoyed the free rental service of the mourning hall, keeping vigil for the old lady in the shop.
In the morgue, separated by a wall, Xu Qing was reading about the rise to power of a minor eunuch.

"If you ask what the most delicious thing in the world is, besides steamed buns made from white flour, there is nothing else!"

"Once I enter the palace, I'll have an endless supply of steamed buns."

"Are you the new chef in the imperial kitchen? The steamed buns you made don't taste right."

"You said it's no problem, so why doesn't our food taste the same as before?"

"That cook! Consort Hui ate your cooking and lost her child. That was a royal heir, a male heir at that! Two lives lost, what crime do you think you should be punished for?"

"I understand now. What I've loved most in my life isn't steamed buns, it's money, it's silver, it's a house full of gold and splendor!"

“Master Liao, if you don’t mind, I’m willing to take care of you in your old age.”

"Godfather, I've heard that His Majesty intends to spare no effort in promoting Wanshou County. I wish to go and do my part for His Majesty."

Lou Gonggong's life was filled with the stench of money; only when he first entered the palace did he still retain some simple aspirations.

After reading the other party's scroll of messages, Xu Qing didn't know how to comment. "You're a eunuch, you don't even have a son or daughter, what are you saving so much money for?"
Shaking his head, Xu Qing looked at the rewards from the Salvation Scripture. The corpse was rated as a top-grade "human" character, and the reward included a Bone-Melting Palm Technique and a Bone-Eroding Sword Technique.

Both techniques are martial arts masterpieces. The Bone-Melting Palm Technique can break a person's bones, flesh, and tendons through the skin and flesh, while leaving the surface intact.

The Bone-Eroding Sword Technique is the complete opposite. This sword technique specializes in the art of tearing flesh apart. Combined with sword incantations, it can unleash a thousand sword shadows in the blink of an eye, stripping a person of flesh and leaving only bones, leaving behind a bare skeleton.

Xu Qing was initially puzzled as to why the eunuch, who knew this sword technique, did not use it when he was at the well tower.
But when he remembered that the madman himself was an anomaly formed from a pile of bones, he suddenly felt a surge of joy.

No wonder this old man only used the Bone-Melting Palm Technique; it turns out he couldn't use his flesh-slicing ultimate move.

"The Bone-Melting Palm Technique, that's an interesting name. I wonder what effect it would have on someone with unmelting bones."

Xu Qing just thought about it casually. In the end, this technique was only countered by its name. If it were to actually hit him, it would probably be like tickling him.

However, this thing depends on the person using it. If it's in the hands of someone with expertise, its potential is hard to say!

The few days that Wang's younger sister spent keeping vigil at the mortuary provided Xu Qing with a lot of inspiration.

Even if widows and bachelors without parents, children, or other relatives prepare their coffins in advance, there's no guarantee that anyone will help them with their funeral arrangements after they die.

Even with the help of kind-hearted neighbors, who can guarantee that these people's bodies will be discovered in time?

By the time they realize it, they'll probably be passing by their house, smell the odor, and then realize what's going on.

Xu Qing felt this was not right.

As the top figure in Tianjin's funeral industry, he had to solve this problem.

At the very least, people shouldn't die and be left to rot in their homes, with no one to bury them, right?
Without further ado, Xu Qing took out his pen and ink and wrote another proclamation.

"It is said that life is a temporary sojourn and death a return, a sentiment shared by sages and worthies; to be mindful of the end and to remember one's ancestors is of paramount importance, as is filial piety and brotherly love. This shop is established in accordance with ancient teachings and practices benevolence and virtue, especially to open doors of convenience for the widowed, orphaned, and lonely, relieving them of their long-standing worries."

By establishing a covenant before death and setting forth the rites for a hundred years in advance, one can avoid the danger of being caught off guard and helpless.

Those who enter into this agreement will be recorded in the register, and the temple will visit them on the first and fifteenth of each lunar month to offer greetings, and provide rice and flour during festivals. Even if they have no children to bring them joy, they will still care for each other during the cold and heat.

We hereby make three great promises:

Firstly, by purchasing coffins in advance and choosing an auspicious location and time of death, the price can be no more than half the market price.

Secondly, they regularly inspected his daily life, observed his needs and prepared for him, without taking a penny from him; this was what is meant by humanistic care.

Thirdly, the entire funeral rites should be performed in accordance with ancient customs, ensuring that the clothing, shroud, and burial are all in accordance with proper etiquette.

All widows, widowers, orphans, and lonely people who wish to join can enter the hall to apply for a membership certificate. Those who hold this certificate, even if they have no children or grandchildren around them, can still avoid being lonely after their death.

My word is as firm as iron, my promise as heavy as a mountain, and my commitment to fulfilling it is as solid as iron. I dare to inform all believers that this offering, which benefits the poor and weak while ensuring high quality at a low price, will also include a complimentary anniversary ritual and a complete burial ceremony for those who purchase the voucher today.

After finishing the notice, Xu Qing pondered for a moment, then picked up his pen again to write the concluding remarks.

May all living beings under heaven find solace in a peaceful death, and may all souls in the netherworld find peace in their final resting place.

—Erected by Master Xu on an auspicious day in midsummer of the Jia Chen year.

To prevent anyone from not understanding, Xu Qing also wrote a short notice in plain language, saying that in order to ensure that elderly people living alone or those left behind in rural areas can have a proper end to their lives, the funeral shop is offering a pre-sale package for funeral arrangements, which includes regular home visits and humanistic care services such as delivering rice and oil during festivals.

The notice was made in nine copies, symbolizing that the deceased would find peace in the afterlife.

Holding nine notices, Xu Qing posted them at the coffin shop, funeral shop, burial clothes shop, and paper craft shop. In addition, they were also posted on the bulletin boards at various city gates in Linjiang County.

As night fell, Wang's younger sister kept vigil in the shop. During this time, a fat man and a burly man in yellow clothes entered the inner room, followed by a delicate young woman and an old man, who also entered the inner room.

Then she heard rustling conversations coming from inside the house.

After everyone left, Xu Qing, who had finished the gang's routine meeting, went to Wang's younger sister.

“Miss Wang, the time has come. I have a cemetery in the west of the city. The feng shui there is quite good, and it’s not far from here. The old lady lives there, so it will be convenient for you to visit her in the future.”

Upon hearing this, Wang's younger sister was saddened, but she still forced herself to say, "Thank you for your help, sir. I have no way to repay your kindness. If you ask me to repay you in the future..." Xu Qing waved his hand to interrupt her, saying, "These are all business dealings of my establishment. I do not seek any reward. Let's take care of the old lady's matter first, and we can talk about other things later."

Wang Yue'e nodded. The little girl was only ten years old and needed someone to rely on. At this moment, Xu Qing was like a mountain sheltering her from the wind and rain. She was willing to listen to whatever the other party said.

After all, this wasn't the first time Mr. Wang had helped the Wang family.

After nailing the coffin with the "descendant nails" and binding it with leather straps, Xiao Yue'e, who knew nothing, was taught by Xu Qing, who acted as her elder, instructing her on sweeping away the wealth, lifting the coffin, and bidding farewell to the spirit.

The so-called "sweeping the coffin" means using a broom to remove the loose soil from the coffin.

As for lifting the coffin, it doesn't mean lifting the coffin lid, but rather placing a copper coin under one corner of the coffin.

The act of bidding farewell to the dead is when the living pay their respects to the deceased.

After the coffin was taken out of the hall, paper money was burned, and the mourning basin was smashed, the little girl took the paper banner, wiped away her tears, and followed Xu Qing all the way to see him off.

Outside the shop, Sun Erzhuang, who had been waiting for a long time, was driving a hearse—actually, it was just a cart pulled by a large horse with a big white flower on its chest and a white cloth strip tied to its head.

Guan Dazhuang then stretched out his massive arm and scooped his hand into the basket full of paper money, causing the paper money to flutter and scatter everywhere.

Xuan Yu ran to the door, sat on the threshold, and looked at the 'paper flowers' flying in the street.

For some reason, it found the scene quite romantic.

I remember when that official's daughter got married, there was also a boy and a girl carrying baskets full of flower petals, who threw them into the sky.
But Xuan Yu felt that the paper money and flowers cut by Xu Xianjia himself were much prettier than the flower petals that had been picked.

"Paper money and paper flowers are so beautiful, why can they only be used at funerals and not at weddings?"

Xuan Yu looked up at the fluttering paper money, his thoughts already drifting off to who-knows-where.

On a barren slope twenty miles west of the city, Xu Qing marked out three new graves: one for Wang Yue'e's grandmother, and the other two for her parents.

Wanshou County has changed beyond recognition. It would be inconvenient to let a young girl go back to live there.

Xu Qing then asked the girl for her opinion.

“Yue’e, now that your brother is gone, you are in charge of this house. Since you plan to stay here, it would be best to move your parents’ coffins here as well, so that you won’t have to travel back and forth when you want to pay your respects in the future.”

Yue'e nodded: "I'll do whatever you say, sir."

Xu Qing looked at the naive young girl in front of him and felt very frustrated.

How did he end up being both a father and a mother?

If I had known this would happen, I should have given that Wang boy a good talking-to back then. How could someone abandon his family for his own ambition?
In Xu Qing's mind, a family head who prioritizes business over family is hardly a qualified man.

Even if he only had one cat, he would always think about going home. But Wang Liang, on the other hand, had a younger sister and a grandmother. And what happened to him?

He left behind a lame old man and walked away without looking back.

Xu Qing felt a headache coming on. Neither Zhu Shizi, who was instigating a rebellion, nor the Wang family boy were easy to deal with.

After paying their respects to the old lady, Sun Erzhuang and his brother drove the carriage back to Guanmen Village, while Xu Qing took Wang's younger sister and headed towards Linjiang County.

Upon arriving at Jingxia Street, seeing the little girl following him closely, Xu Qing said, "Miss Zhang at the funeral clothing shop is gentle and kind. If you agree, I'll talk to her, and you can stay at the funeral clothing shop for the time being."

Seeing Wang Yue'e nervously fidgeting with the hem of her clothes and remaining silent, Xu Qing had no choice but to patiently continue, "The coroner's shop is small, and there aren't any vacant rooms. Besides, it would be inconvenient for you, a young woman, to live with me."

In the end, Wang's younger sister chose to listen to Xu Qing and temporarily follow Zhang Wan to run the funeral clothing shop together.

Zhang Wan was the daughter of the county magistrate. She was well-versed in poetry and literature from a young age and was also skilled in needlework. Wang's younger sister was able to learn a lot from her.

On the contrary, if the other party follows Xu Qing, they will probably go astray before long.

The thought of a little human girl spending her days fussing over corpses and shouting slogans at the door advertising a big sale for morticians is terrifying.

Time flies. Ever since Xu Qing and the disciples of the temple and the immortals of various halls held an internal meeting, they have drafted plans for funeral after-sales services, including cemetery renovation, tombstone repair, and the care of elderly people who have purchased membership iron scrolls and pre-ordered funeral services. These people also need to be given special attention by the Huang Immortals who have passed on their teachings.

That day, Xu Qing received an old man who was over seventy years old.

The old man was a night watchman who had worked his whole life. A few years ago, he was replaced because of his old age, so he retired.

This old man got married once when he was young, but the couple didn't last long before his wife ran off with someone else.

During her escape, she and her lover ran off with a considerable amount of money, and even all the valuables in her home were pawned.

Later, the authorities caught the adulterous couple, but the money was never recovered.

The old man had never married since then, and had no relatives or friends to take care of him. Now that he heard that Xu Qing was handling his funeral arrangements, the old man came to the shop without saying a word, immediately became a member, and received an iron coupon.

"Young man, I have no other hope left but you. You mustn't take all the money and then disappear with it; that would be incredibly immoral."

Xu Qing chuckled and said, "That's impossible. If you don't believe me, you can go out and ask around about the reputation of my shop. I bought that cemetery with excellent feng shui in the west of the city. It's all registered with the government. I may be able to run away, but the land for this shop can't be gone, can it?"

"Please don't worry about it! By the way, I think it's very important to tell you about the West City Cemetery."

The cemetery in the west of the city is nestled against a small hillside, which Xu Qing named 'Wujiu' (meaning 'without blame').

It implies a life free from misfortune and mistakes, and overall it is considered an auspicious name.

"Please walk slowly and watch your step."

Helping the old man, Xu Qing escorted him all the way to the shop door, her attitude incredibly courteous.

These are all potential future customers; he has to take good care of living corpses!
After seeing the old man off, the widowed proprietress across the street, carrying a basket of incense and candles, placed the items heavily on the coffin lid with a cold expression.

"Who's the blind fool who's offended Boss Cheng again?"

Cheng Caiyun sneered, "I've offended no one, but the thought that I'll have to make you take care of my funeral arrangements in the future makes me uncomfortable!"

"."

Xu Qing chuckled dryly, "That won't do. You're still young. It's not too late to marry into a good family or find a husband who will live with you in his family in the next few years."

"Pooh!"

Upon hearing Xu Qing's address, Cheng Caiyun's face darkened further: "Your great-aunt will never serve two husbands in her life. If you want me to find another family, you might as well let me lie in this coffin right now!"

As Xu Qing watched Cheng Caiyun's departing figure, he felt that this widow also had a past that no one knew about.

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(End of this chapter)