I was forced to cultivate immortality when I just wanted to lie down

Chapter 191 Headless Corpse, Two Settlements

"Fake, fake! This jade pendant is obviously fake!"

How can someone be allowed to live like that when you suddenly yell like that in the middle of the night?

Shang Shaoyang, who was carrying a lantern, was startled, and the flickering candlelight inside the red paper lantern went out.

Just as Shang Shaoyang was about to raise his head, he suddenly remembered what Master Feng had said about the ghostly thing that ate people's eyes.

If anyone is carrying counterfeit goods, the ghost will remove their eyes from their glasses.

Shang Shaoyang was filled with doubt as he listened to the other person mention the jade pendant.

Why don't you go find Xu Qing to expose the fake? He has such a big fake painting on him, the ink might not even be dry yet. Why are you coming to me?
Xu Qing wasn't wearing any jade pendants; at this moment, the only jade pendant he had was hanging from his waist.

That jade pendant was an ornament he casually bought for fifty taels of silver a couple of days ago while strolling around the flower and bird market.
Xu Qing was also caught off guard. Why was this ghost not playing by the rules? Could it be that his fake painting was so realistic that even the ghost couldn't tell the difference?

In a flash, Xu Qing said, "Don't look up, close your eyes, throw the jade pendant to me, and then walk back!"

Giving the jade pendant away to someone else? What's the difference between that and betraying a friend for personal gain?
Furthermore, Shang Shaoyang came here today specifically to catch the ghost. If he were to leave now, wouldn't his trip have been in vain?

Shang Shaoyang was rebellious from a young age. While other children of the powerful and wealthy were playing with crickets and birds, he would chase dogs all over the streets with a wooden sword, saying he wanted to kill corrupt officials.

As he grew older, while other young masters and noblemen were flirting with maids and visiting brothels, he was single-handedly venturing into and out of bandit strongholds seven times.

During the Lunar New Year, when people greet their elders, their peers usually respectfully present gifts or recite a few poems appropriate to the occasion, which elicits praise from the elders.

Shang Shaoyang was different. Before the Lunar New Year, he went to pay his respects to his elders with the head of a bandit leader in his hand. He dismounted and went straight to the hall. When he saw his elders, he didn't care whether it was appropriate or not. He threw the blood-dripping shroud and the head inside it on the ground.

Then he excitedly said, "We've wiped out the bandit den of Qingfeng Village! This year, we ordinary people can finally have a good New Year!"

A scion of a powerful family with a thousand-year history, yet he always felt that he was just an ordinary person. Would you say he was rebellious or not?
Hearing Xu Qing's prompt, Shang Shaoyang only listened to half of it, which was to close his eyes and not look up. However, he did not throw away the jade pendant on his body, nor did he turn around and leave.

Instead, he drew his sword and decisively thrust it in the direction from which the sound came from above!
In the still of the night, in a narrow alley, a headless corpse clung to a high wall, its pale hands, like noodles, stretched out long, cradling its head, its eyes fixed on its prey, waiting for the living person's yang energy to weaken so it could pluck out their eyes and eat them.

Humans have three yang fires: one on the top of the head and one on each shoulder. As long as the yang fire is unstable, ghosts will have an opportunity to take advantage of it.

At this moment, the headless ghost held its own head, waiting for Shang Shaoyang to look up at it.

As long as the other party is frightened and their yang energy flickers, it will stretch out its long arm, bring its head close to the other party's face, and blow on them. The person will then be unable to resist, and whether to kill or torture them will be up to it.

However, things don't always go as planned. Just as its wicked schemes were unfolding, a cold glint suddenly appeared in its face!

In the pitch-black alley, the snow-white sword light flashed like lightning, piercing the ghost's head in an instant. Only then did the clear sound of the sword being drawn echo throughout the narrow alley.

"."

Xu Qing began to re-examine the spoiled brat in front of him.

This rich kid is a bit too reckless!
Silently putting away the hot bowl, Xu Qing approached.

The headless ghost's head had already fallen to the ground, and a muffled sound seemed to come from its abdomen from the other side of the high wall.

"My head! Give me back my head!"

Shang Shaoyang opened his eyes at some point, and on the long sword he was holding was a ghostly head with smoke billowing from its seven orifices.

"What the hell?!"

Shang Shaoyang was so startled that he almost dropped the sword in his hand!
Xu Qing couldn't comment. You could say this guy was a tiger, but he really did stumble upon something by sheer luck, unleashing an incomparably sharp sword intent at a critical moment.

The sword was unadorned, simply thrusting out, yet it exuded righteousness, completely imbuing Shang Shaoyang's spirit and energy into it.

Even Xu Qing, who was not far away, could feel the sword intent that belonged to a true swordsman.

But if you were to say he was skilled, this man opened his eyes and saw the ghost heads strung on the sword, and was so shocked that he stammered and didn't know what to do.

"Brother Xu, look at this! What is this thing? Why is it smoking?"

"Give me the sword, and turn around first."

"oh oh!"

Xu Qing watched as the other person actually handed him the sword, then turned away, and was speechless once again.

Does this spoiled brat truly not know the wickedness of human nature, or what? Isn't he afraid that someone might just grab a sword and stab him in the waist?
Xu Qing casually tossed the still-smoking head from the sword into a bowl of rice, then flipped over the high wall and gave the headless corpse a good beating, collecting the headless corpse that was searching for its head.

Hearing the commotion, Shang Shaoyang quickly turned around and jumped over the high wall.

But not a single ghost could be seen!

"Is this gone?"

Shang Shaoyang caught the sword that Xu Qing threw to him, feeling both thrilled and somewhat unsatisfied.

"Brother Shang, you've done a great service this time. When we get back, you might even get a big red flower tied to your head and be paraded through the streets on horseback."

Shang Shaoyang didn't care about becoming famous at all. He just wanted to know where Xu Qing had gone and why his newly bought jade pendant was fake. Could someone really dare to cheat him?

Xu Qing glanced at him sideways and said irritably:

"I told you to hand over your sword and turn around, and you did it. So what's so surprising about someone tricking you into buying a fake jade pendant?"

Shang Shaoyang was stunned. How could that be the same? Brother Xu is a great philanthropist. We've only known each other for a few days, but he has done more good deeds than some officials do in a year!
Others may be bad people, but Brother Xu is definitely not that kind of person!

Xu Qing ignored this spoiled brat; he was just a zombie, not some great philanthropist.

On the way back to Master Feng's house, Shang Shaoyang kept talking non-stop.

Anyone who didn't know better would think they had just encountered a chatterbox who had now possessed them again.

"Brother Xu, where did you learn your ghost-catching skills? Are there really enlightened masters in this world?"

Xu Qing replied succinctly, "Those who deal in the dead will inevitably encounter some strange things. Those are just the lingering obsessions of the dead; there's nothing to talk about. As for enlightened masters..."

"If I really knew a master, I wouldn't have gone to so much trouble to persuade someone to buy a cemetery plot."

Ultimately, it's just the masses of people in this world struggling to make a living.

Shang Shaoyang's attention was immediately diverted; Xu Qing had just said that the cemetery was a scam to get people to buy it.

Xu Qing feigned ignorance, "Did I just say that? I don't remember."
Shang Shaoyang, with a dark expression, said he wanted a refund.

Xu Qing said that since the deal was done in black and white with a bright red stamp, there was no reason to return it!

Furthermore, burial sites are not like other objects; there is only one original and no secondhand. Once they are taken back, how can they be resold?
One of them was full of lies, while the other was straightforward. The former didn't take it seriously, and the latter didn't take the truth to heart either.

Upon returning to the Second Master's residence, Xu Qing said briefly, "That scoundrel has been executed. We owe a great debt to Young Master Shang this time. If you have any questions, Second Master, just ask him. It's getting late, so I'll head back to rest now. We can discuss everything in detail between us tomorrow."

As Xu Qing spoke, he gave Feng Erye a wink, and the shrewd man immediately pulled Shang Shaoyang aside and pressed him for details.

Seeing that Xu Qing was about to leave, Shang Shaoyang wanted to follow her.

He still had many questions he hadn't had time to ask, but unable to resist Second Master Feng's obstruction, he could only stay and keep Second Master Feng and Ji Ruinian company. Xu Qing, having been pestered by Shang Shaoyang all day, was already thoroughly annoyed and would much rather go back to be with his corpse!
Back at the coroner's shop, after feeding Xuan Yu the snacks he had taken from Master Feng's mansion, Xu Qing went into the morgue and eagerly poured out the headless corpse from the rice bowl!

The sizzling, smoking corpse, along with a charred skull reduced to mere bones, rolled onto the cold bed.

Xu Qing shook his head. Exposing fakes requires skill. If you don't have much skill, yet you dare to gouge out people's eyes, you're just wandering around a graveyard and not far from being buried yourself.

The head that the headless corpse often held in its hands was attached to its body, and the sutra of salvation rustled, revealing a previously unknown past to Xu Qing.

There are three most bustling places in Luoyang: Dongsi and Xidan archways, Caishikou, and Tianqiao outside the South Gate.

The South Gate Overpass Street is a gathering place for talented people from all over the country: martial arts performers, street acrobats, and even vendors selling firecrackers and miracle cures.
The headless corpse in front of Xu Qing was the magician who performed tricks on Tianqiao Street.

The magician was also called a magician. There weren't any particularly amazing magicians at the South Gate Overpass a few years ago, until about half a year ago, when a magician named Wang Xiaobanxian, who could behead people and not die, came.

Why is he called Wang Xiaobanxian? Because he is not a real immortal, nor has he learned any immortal techniques. The only trick he knows, the technique of not dying after being beheaded, is just a way to deceive people.

If he could have survived being beheaded, he would have joined the army long ago and made a name for himself.

On this day, as usual, Wang Xiaobanxian performed his immortality trick on the overpass.

Then, the apprentice picked up the ghost-headed broadsword, sprayed a mouthful of strong liquor on it, and with a "hey!", Wang Xiaobanxian's fine head rolled off.

Wang Xiaobanxian caught his own head with his hooked hands, as if he were holding a wine jar. The wine jar had a nose and eyes and didn't seem to feel any pain. It was still grinning and interacting with the onlookers.

"Ladies and gentlemen, my immortality technique is a secret art of the Nine Heavens, which must not be used lightly. Each time it is used, it will cost three years of one's lifespan. This is a punishment from Heaven, and the secret technique must not be revealed to the world."

"But I do not want the world to be blinded by such wondrous arts, so I am willing to defy fate and shorten my lifespan in order to reveal this art."

"I, Wang Xiaobanxian, don't ask for anything in return. If you have money, please support me financially so I can save up for my coffin and have a place to be buried in the future. If you don't have money, just show your support by being here. As long as you enjoy watching, I'll consider my efforts worthwhile!"

There are always people in the world who risk their lives for applause, such as those who perform sword swallowing, throat stabbing, or breaking large stones on their chests.

But most of those are just tricks performed with props, and people get used to them after seeing them so many times.

But this Wang Xiaobanxian is different; at least it seems he really puts his life on the line!

In addition, people make it sound appealing that the money they ask for isn't for drinking, partying, or going to brothels, but rather for their funeral expenses, to secure their future.

When everyone heard this, they realized that since the other party had gone to such lengths, they would feel embarrassed if they didn't give them a few coins.

And so, Wang Xiaobanxian thrived in the Tianqiao business, until one day, as he was packing up his stall, he passed by a female fortune teller's stall, and the fortune teller suddenly spoke:
"You say you cultivate the Nine Heavens Secret Technique, which reduces your lifespan by three years each time it is activated. Do you know how many times you have activated it in the past few days?"

Upon hearing this, Wang Xiaobanxian was secretly pleased. This fortune teller probably hadn't made any business all day and, seeing that he had earned a lot of money, wanted to make a quick buck from him.

Others may not know, but he knows his own situation well. His so-called Nine Heavens Secret Technique is completely fabricated. He just overheard an old woman casually mentioning it and then copied that story.

As for the cost of three years of lifespan, that's completely fictitious.

"Does the lady perhaps have calculated the numbers for me?"

"I'm not called Ms. Female, I'm called Half-Immortal."

The female fortune teller said meaningfully, "It's just a little bit bigger than you, you little fortune teller."

"Most Half-Immortal?" Wang Xiaobanxian didn't pay much attention. He shook his head and continued to ask, "What exactly did you mean by what you just said?"

"Heavenly secrets should not be revealed. It's not a big deal that you know some magic tricks, but you shouldn't use the heavens as an excuse. You should know that trouble comes from the mouth, and who knows, one day it might really come true."

Upon hearing this, Wang Xiaobanxian's face immediately fell. Wasn't this a deliberate curse?
"If a fortune teller doesn't know how to speak like a human being, it's no wonder you don't make any money!"

The female fortune teller, seeing him cursing and swearing, was not angry. She just smiled and said, "You have performed eleven magic tricks these past few days. If you convert that into a lifespan of thirty-three years, you are thirty-six this year. Judging from your appearance, your total lifespan is no more than seventy. If you want to die a natural death, you can no longer joke about the heavens."

Wang Xiaobanxian looked at the female fortune teller with surprise and doubt. He was indeed thirty-six years old this year. How could she know that in a single sentence? Could this person really have the ability of a fortune teller?
Wang Xiaobanxian was a man who could bend and stretch. Now that he had doubts in his heart, he shamelessly apologized to the female fortune teller, saying that he had been blind to the true god. Then he asked for the divination fee and wanted to have a reading done.

But at this critical juncture, a thunderous roar suddenly erupted outside the capital, followed by a continuous rumble of thunder.

What kind of bolt from the blue came from broad daylight?
The female diviner suddenly stood up, her gaze fixed on the distant thunderclouds.

After regaining her senses, she quickly packed up her stall and said without turning her head, "Little fortune teller! Don't meddle in other people's business today. Once today is over, everything will be fine."

Wang Xiaobanxian was completely baffled. "I paid you for the course, and this is all you left me with?"

"Could I have been fooled by this woman?"

Although Wang Xiaobanxian was somewhat suspicious, he didn't take it seriously.

He's not the kind of person who likes to meddle in other people's business!
"Hey! What's wrong with you? Why are you leaving the incense burner outside in broad daylight? It's stinking!"

"Who wrote this sign? The characters aren't even spelled correctly. Let me fix one for you."

He took out a pen from his pocket and added a horizontal stroke to a character that was missing a stroke.

"Stop thief! Stop thief! The thief stole someone's purse—"

Wang Xiaobanxian doesn't like to meddle in other people's business; he's just kind-hearted.

I strolled all the way to the bird market in the capital, where I saw people haggling over prices for antiques and calligraphy. One hundred taels of silver was eventually sold for ten copper coins.
The alley where Wang Xiaobanxian lived was right in front of him, but as soon as he turned the corner, he saw a man holding a calligraphy scroll and looking at it in the deserted alley.

As he examined it, the man muttered to himself, "Not bad. With my skill, no one could tell this calligraphy was fake!"

As Wang Xiaobanxian passed by the man, he craned his neck to glance at him. To be honest, the handwriting was quite good, far better than the person who could even misspell the signboard before!

Hearing the noise behind him, the man hurriedly put away the calligraphy and painting. When he turned around, he and Wang Xiaobanxian came face to face. Then the man lowered his head and hurriedly left the alley.

Half an hour later, Wang Xiaobanxian went out to find a restaurant to eat. He passed by a pawnshop, where the shopkeeper was examining a painting and calligraphy carefully in the sunlight.

"Excellent, excellent! This is truly a fine piece of calligraphy; it certainly looks like a genuine work by Yan Zhenqing."

"This calligraphy was purchased by Grand Tutor Du at great expense; how could I dare to deceive him with a counterfeit?"

Wang Xiaobanxian hadn't paid much attention at first, but that casual glance made him stop in his tracks.

The reason was simple: he had just seen that calligraphy and the person selling it half an hour ago!
"Shopkeeper! This calligraphy and painting is fake! Look carefully, don't be fooled!"

When the person selling calligraphy and paintings first heard this, he wanted to argue, but when he turned his head and saw Wang Xiaobanxian's face, his expression immediately changed!
It's all his fault for speaking carelessly; he didn't realize that walls have ears and that someone overheard the truth.

"Jiang Daqian, is your calligraphy real or fake?"

"It's fake! His calligraphy and paintings are so obviously fake! I heard him say with my own ears that his calligraphy and paintings are fake!"

"Jiang Daqian, do you know what crime it is to deceive the Grand Tutor?"

Jiang Daqian huffed and puffed, his face turning red and white in turns. Seeing that a crowd had gathered to watch the spectacle, he hardened his heart, snatched the painting, and turned to run away.

Behind him, the shopkeeper shouted, "Quickly, grab him! This man has sold a lot of counterfeit goods to me. We absolutely cannot let him escape!"

Upon reading this, Xu Qing already knew what would happen next.

It was all because Jiang Daqian, who sold fake paintings, had recently been given a Buddhist service.
(End of this chapter)