I was forced to cultivate immortality when I just wanted to lie down

Chapter 200 Buy One Get One Free, Fools' Luck

Early the next morning, Xu Qing, riding a fine horse adorned with a white flower on its chest and pulling a thin-skinned coffin, arrived at the yamen gate.

Xu Qing once rode the steed from the ferry crossing east of the capital all the way to the imperial mausoleum in the northwest.

Xu Qing didn't cherish the horse back then. Although he only rode it once, he pushed the horse's horsepower to its limit. He fed it all sorts of fasting pills, qi-nourishing powders, and strength pills. The horse had never run so fast in its life!

Afterwards, Xu Qing was so focused on seclusion that he abandoned the horse and let it go on its own.

As luck would have it, the horse, while strolling along the official road, encountered Wu Wencai, who was on his way to the capital for the imperial examination.

The horse was quite intelligent. Xu Qing didn't know what the horse had learned from Wu Wencai, or whether it simply saw him as a long-term meal ticket and only wanted to get the best horse feed.

Now that it has met Xu Qing again, the horse feels as if it has seen its former love again, even though it only had a one-day encounter with Xu Qing.

Conversely, Wu Wencai, who had taken meticulous care of it for half a year, paled in comparison at this moment.

"Why is this horse so excited when it sees Brother Xu, but so listless when it sees me?" Wu Wencai asked curiously.

Xu Qing replied, "When I first met this horse, it was used as a cart puller for transporting goods, but I knew it was a thoroughbred, so I removed its restraints and let it gallop freely for a day."

"Perhaps it couldn't forget the kindness shown to it; even after more than half a year, it still remembered me, its mentor."

Upon hearing this, the honest man Wu Wencai, moved by the horse's spirit, simply returned the horse he had been carefully tending to to Xu Qing.

Nowadays, Xu Qing drives Wu Wencai's cherished horse to pull coffins for all sorts of funerals.

And that horse found it sweet.

Linjiang County Government Office.

Every autumn is the busiest time for government affairs. Everyone in the government has to solve the cases at hand and deal with the local inspectors who may come at any time.

In addition, the autumn harvest was also a major event, keeping the yamen runners extremely busy. Even for their brother's funeral, they had to choose an early morning and take advantage of any free time to come out and see him off.

The deceased constable had few relatives: a gambling father, a remarried mother, and a younger brother with intellectual disabilities.

When Xu Qing drove the hearse, accompanied by Zhao Zhonghe and several constables, to the deceased's house, the old gambler pushed open the door. Without even asking about the son in the coffin, he immediately asked when the government would provide the compensation, as he was in a hurry to go gambling.

Zhao Zhonghe's fists clenched so tightly they cracked. If the other person hadn't been the father of his deceased brother, he would have slapped him so hard he'd be asleep.

Inside the house, a big boy with the mental capacity of a five or six-year-old was wearing a faded red bib, gnawing on a piece of charcoal in one hand. He looked extremely hungry, his mouth covered in black coal ash.

"Silly Zhu, how come you eat everything?"

The burly man, nicknamed Shazhu, broke off a piece of coal and said with a silly grin, "Try it, it's really delicious, Xiaoxi gave it to me!"

The little boy that Da Han mentioned was also a clueless kid who wandered around the streets every day. Hearing that Sha Zhu was starving, he stole a piece of coal from somewhere and gave it to Sha Zhu to eat.

Zhao Zhonghe's brows twitched as he looked at the scene. He had always known about the situation of his brother's family in the yamen, but he never expected that his brother's family would become such a horrific state just two or three days after his death.

"Where's the money your brother gave you?" Zhao Zhonghe realized what he meant as soon as he said it.

That's right. Even if you give this big, dumb guy money, his gambling father will still swindle him out of everything.

Zhao Zhonghe looked at the old gambler who was cursing and preparing to leave.

The old gambler was kneeling in front of Xu Qing's hearse, stroking the coffin containing his son.

"They're all money-losing trash; why would they deserve such a nice coffin when they die?"

The old man muttered a few words, then suddenly asked Xu Qing, "My son died while working for the government, so this coffin should have been provided by the government, and therefore belongs to my family."

"Here's the deal: you leave the coffin behind, and I'll give you a straw mat. You can bury this short-lived ghost however you like."

Are these words spoken by a human being?
Although Xu Qing is not entirely a person, he still retains some humanity. But how can a living person not do anything human?

The gambler in front of me shouldn't have tried to take advantage of his clients right in front of him.

"Old man, try lifting it!"

Xu Qing rarely gets angry, but seeing that the other party was about to lift the coffin lid, Xu Qing was truly annoyed this time.

"This is my coffin, why can't I lift it? What a joke!" The old gambler scoffed at Xu Qing's words, rolled up his sleeves, and was about to touch the coffin.

It was fate that this old gambler had to suffer this fate. Before Xu Qing could react, the loyal horse raised its hind hoof and kicked the old gambler squarely in the ribs.

With a muffled thud, Zhao Zhonghe saw a blur fly out and crash heavily into the door and wall.

"."

The noisy entrance suddenly fell silent. The young men who were gnawing on coal forgot about their food and stood there blankly, sniffling.

He was probably thinking that his gambling-addicted father was actually a hidden master of martial arts, otherwise how could he have flown so far!
Zhao Zhonghe walked quickly to the door and squatted down next to the gambler, reaching out to check his breath.

After a moment, Zhao Zhonghe frowned and said in a muffled voice, "Dead."

The group looked at each other, unsure of what to say.

What kind of mess is this? We were on our brother's funeral procession, and when we got to his house, we accidentally killed his father.

This is really outrageous of him. If word gets out, all of our reputations will be ruined!

Fortunately, just when everyone was at a loss, Zhao Zhonghe spoke up: "This is too unfortunate. We came to attend Brother Li's funeral, but Uncle accidentally fell and died."

Zhao Zhonghe stood up, glanced at Sha Zhu who was still in a daze, and pondered, "The dead cannot be brought back to life. The weather is hot right now, so we need to bury the old man as soon as possible."

Officer Zhao didn't mention that he was kicked to death by the horse, since the horse ultimately belonged to Xu Qing, and if the matter were investigated further, Xu Qing, as the owner, would have to bear some responsibility.

Secondly, the funeral procession was arranged by the government, which is why Manager Xu drove the hearse over. In truth, the government also bears some responsibility.

Normally, Zhao Zhonghe would never shirk responsibility, but today this old gambler has really angered everyone. What kind of father would pawn his son's coffin after his son dies so he can gamble?
Xu Qing stroked the horse's mane to calm its restlessness and said, "It's alright, Officer Zhao, there's no need to spend any money. My shop always offers a buy-one-get-one-free service. Since my son has already accepted the money, I won't accept any more from the old man."

After saying that, Xu Qing added, "Didn't the old man say that he had a straw mat at home? We can take it out and wrap the body in it before burying it."

"As for the family members, let Sha Zhu carry the mourning staff."

"..." Zhao Zhonghe looked at Sha Zhu standing there grinning foolishly and wondered if this would work.
But since things have come to this point, we have to make it work, even if it's impossible!

The old gambler's house was empty. Two constables went inside and, without searching, found a tattered straw mat with holes in the seams on the earthen bed.

Fortunately, the straw mat wasn't in good condition; if it had been any better, it might have already been pawned and sold off cheaply.

Xu Qing peeked into Sha Zhu's house and saw that it was practically bare. Zhao Zhonghe said, "That old man is so stingy. I was the one who acted as guarantor for this house and arranged for it to be rented to the Li brothers. Otherwise, Sha Zhu would probably not even have a place to live now."

One of the constables asked, "What about the original house?"

"Sell it! A gambling addict, how can you expect him to protect the family business?"

While collecting the gambler's body, Xu Qing listened to Zhao Zhonghe and the others talking.

He already knew about the Li family's situation when he performed the ritual to help the Li family constable pass on to the afterlife.

At the time, the Scripture of Salvation had given him a Wisdom-Enhancing Pill as a reward for his salvation. Now, having actually seen what Sha Zhu looked like, Xu Qing suddenly had an epiphany.

Everyone has their own obsessions, and perhaps Li Yachai's lifelong obsession was his younger brother, Sha Zhu.

"Silly Zhu, come help carry your dad."

"Alright!" Sha Zhu, his mouth full of coal dust, grinned and ran over happily to help Xu Qing lift his father onto the carriage.

"Where is my dad going?" Sha Zhu asked.

“Your father’s lifespan has come to an end; Heaven has come to take him away,” Xu Qing replied.

"Oh." Sha Zhu seemed not to understand.

A gossipy constable nearby suddenly chimed in, "What Manager Xu means is that your father is gone, you silly child."

"Stop spouting nonsense!" Zhao Zhonghe glared at the constable in annoyance.

Sha Zhu was still all smiles.

Once the carriages and horses were ready, several yamen runners scattered paper money along the way and hurried out of the city.

As I passed through the bustling intersection, many people cast strange glances my way.

The reason was simple: there was a silly-smiling son in the funeral procession.

At any funeral, the mourners carrying the coffin and holding the cane are always filled with sorrow. So when you suddenly encounter a cheerful mourner, isn't that something to be admired?

When they passed by a breakfast stall, Zhao Zhonghe bought a few bowls of noodles for everyone to eat.

Xu Qing followed the rules, first placing an incense stick in front of the hearse before the meal, then serving a bowl of noodles for the deceased to eat first.

As for why it was just a stick of incense and a bowl of noodles, does a gambling addict deserve to be fed by Xu Qing?

Sha Zhu, who was attending the funeral, hadn't eaten a proper meal for two days. Now that he had food, he didn't even bother to use chopsticks. He just squatted on the ground and stuffed noodles into his mouth with his hands.

Just as Zhao Zhonghe picked up a mouthful of noodles and was about to put it in his mouth, he saw Sha Zhu wolfing it down.

After putting down his chopsticks, Zhao Zhonghe stared at Sha Zhu, his furrowed brows never relaxing.

After Sha Zhu finished his bowl of noodles, Zhao Zhonghe beckoned to him and said, "Sha Zhu, don't squat on the ground, come sit down and eat."

Sha Zhu hesitated and said, "Dad won't let me sit at the table."

"."

Seeing this, Xu Qing waved to Zhao Zhonghe, telling him to eat in peace.

He then brought over two bowls of noodles and squatted down with Sha Zhu to eat.

"have to!"

Seeing that sitting wasn't an option, Zhao Zhonghe simply took his noodles and squatted down on the street to eat them.

Seeing this, the other constables looked at each other, silently left their seats, and lined up with the head constable to slurp up their noodles.

After breakfast, Zhao Zhonghe saw Sha Zhu stuff a bowl of noodles into his arms, and couldn't help but ask him, "Sha Zhu, there's more noodles left. If you're worried about getting hungry on the way, I'll buy you some fried dough sticks."

Sha Zhu sniffled and said, "I'm not hungry. I'm saving this noodle for my brother so he can eat it when he gets home."

This silly kid
Xu Qing said helplessly, "Your brother has already eaten, so you don't need to save this noodle for him."

Where did my brother eat? I didn't see him eat there.

"He ate in the car, just finished eating, and is sleeping in the wooden box."

Upon hearing this, Sha Zhu happily pulled out his bowl of noodles and started gulping them down, showing that he hadn't actually eaten his fill before.

After finishing the noodles, Zhao Zhonghe also paid for the bowls.

There was no way around it; when a group of people went out to attend a funeral, they inevitably picked up some bad luck, and the used bowls and chopsticks would make others feel uncomfortable.

After leaving the city, the group did not head directly to the cemetery. Xu Qing said they needed to go to Ziyun Mountain first.

After all, Li Yachai died unfortunately near Ziyun Mountain, so a soul-summoning ceremony had to be performed for him there before he was sent to Wujiu Slope for burial.

Zhao Zhonghe had no suspicions. In fact, he also needed to go to Qushui Township to investigate the Liu family's case.

And Nagqu Water Town is located near Ziyun Mountain. Isn't that a coincidence?

“There is a temple on Ziyun Mountain that was built with funds from the county magistrate. Brother Xu is not young anymore, so it’s a good time to go and pray for a good marriage, so that he can find a wife and start a family as soon as possible and have a few big, healthy sons.”

I worship myself?
Xu Qing chuckled and said, "I heard that temple is a Baosheng Temple. Could it be that the Baosheng Goddess can also manage people's marriages?"

“Why not?” Zhao Zhonghe said logically, “I ask you, is having a child a matter for one person or for two people?”

Seeing that Xu Qing remained silent, Zhao Zhonghe continued, "Even we martial artists know the principle that yin cannot produce life alone, and yang cannot grow alone. Naturally, having a child is also a matter between two people, one yin and one yang."

"If Brother Xu goes to pray for a child, then the Goddess of Childbirth must find him a wife first, otherwise how will he have a child?"

What kind of twisted and absurd logic is this? People come to me seeking a child, and I'm supposed to act as a go-between?

Xu Qing never imagined that, besides having a temple to manage, she would also have to work as a matchmaker!
Trying to accomplish two things by burning one stick of incense is treating his temple like a wishing well.

When the group arrived at Ziyun Mountain, Zhao Zhonghe led several constables to Qushui Township, while Xu Qing and Shazhu stayed in a nearby village to perform the ritual of summoning the soul of Constable Li.

On the surface, it's called a summoning of spirits, but in reality, it's not.

No sooner had the constables left than a burly man in yellow robes walked up from the village entrance.

"Master!"

Guan Dazhuang, whose arm was strong enough to run a horse, had a donkey rope wrapped around it, making him look powerful and strong.

Xu Qing asked, "Have you found any trace of Yuan Hu?"

"Let's just stay here in Qushui Township!"

"Qushui Township?" Xu Qing's mind stirred slightly, then he asked again, "Are you confident you can capture him alive?"

"No problem at all." Guan Dazhuang laughed: "There is a world of difference between those who have not entered the Xuanmen and those who have. Yuan Hu may have the tiger in his name, but he is just a martial artist who has not entered the Xuanmen. I have been cultivating for no less than a hundred years. The mountains, grass and trees are all my eyes and ears. Moreover, I have the help of the crows of Luanshi Mountain. As long as he dares to show himself, I will definitely be able to capture him alive."

“This time there’s no need to be so careful.” Xu Qing pondered for a moment and said, “The territory of Ziyun Mountain is my Daoist temple, and it has already been officially designated by the government. You can go all out and enter the village to find Yuan Hu.”

"The yamen runners are in Qushui Township. After you find Yuan Hu, you don't need to rush away. Just lead the runners to throw Yuan Hu into Baosheng Temple, and the matter will be settled."

Guan Dazhuang didn't know Xu Qing's plans, but he knew that following the leader's orders was the right thing to do.

"I'll do it right now!"

As soon as he finished speaking, the man in yellow turned into a gust of yellow wind and disappeared amidst the flying sand and stones.

Xu Qing returned to the hearse, where Sha Zhu, frightened by the strong wind, was clinging to the back of the vehicle, afraid that he would be blown away by the wind.

"Silly Zhu, the wind has stopped, you can open your eyes now."

Sha Zhu opened his eyes and looked around. Just as Xu Qing had said, everything was calm and peaceful, as if the wind had never blown.

"Silly Zhu, stretch out your hand, the master will give you candy beans."

Upon hearing Xu Qing's words, Sha Zhu instinctively looked over and saw Xu Qing handing him a snow-white, translucent pill.

(End of this chapter)