I was forced to cultivate immortality when I just wanted to lie down

Chapter 258 The Guardian General, the Crouching Dragon and the Young Phoenix

Three hundred li west of Tianjin, there is Monkey Mountain, which is also within the Xijing Mountain range.

Xu Qing had never been here before. Now, on his first visit to Monkey Mountain, he discovered that the mountain was steep as if cleaved by a knife, and the vines in the forest were tangled like hemp. If ordinary woodcutters and mountain dwellers came in, they would probably lose their way after going very far.

The red-tailed monkeys are the masters of this mountain, and they seem to know the way well as they go.

Upon arriving in the mountains, three white-browed old monkeys leaped down from the cave walls, which were five or six zhang high, clinging to vines.

The red-tailed monkey used a literary phrase and said, "My cave dwelling is a humble abode built against the mountain, unlike the square boxes and high-walled courtyards that people live in. I hope Brother Xu will not find it distasteful."

Xu Qing smiled and said, "Your cave is quiet and bright. Although it lacks the air of a craftsman, it has more of a natural feel. Even if others want to live here, they would have to be lucky!"

"Mountain dwellings are nothing special. If Brother Xu likes them, he can certainly open one in the mountains of Xijing, and I can visit Brother Xu's home more often."

Xu Qing smiled and let it go. If he were to stay somewhere, he would choose a place with good feng shui, have a good coffin made, and live in a large burial site with four mountains facing him and a strong aura. If all else fails, he could stay in an imperial mausoleum. If all else fails, he could find a cemetery with heavy yin energy and squeeze in with everyone else.

As for the best immortal cave dwelling, it still has to suit his taste.

Upon entering the monkey cave, the red-tailed monkeys displayed great enthusiasm, including offering fruit and wine, and selecting the most attractive and well-proportioned female monkeys in the troop to serve them wine.

"."

You can't hit a smiling monkey, so Xu Qing found this apology banquet quite novel.

Unlike the girls and maids in ordinary families, Xuan Yu not only did not dislike the simple environment and food in the mountains, but also liked this novel feeling.

For a cat, even the best living space may not be as comfortable as an old cardboard box.

Of those present, only Xu Qing felt a little regretful. If only the cave dwelling were more connected to the earth, half buried in the ground and the other half built like a steamed bun or mantou, how wonderful that would be!
In the deep mountains and forests, where there is no food, the only food available to these immortals is wild fruits, incense, and offerings. However, there is one thing in the Monkey Immortal Hall that is particularly unique: the monkey wine that the monkeys brew themselves using traditional methods.

It's called traditional brewing, but it's actually just hiding various fresh fruits picked from old trees inside the heart of the tree. These fruits aren't long-lived fruits that can stay fresh for a long time.

The result of these monkeys hiding fresh fruit in the heart of the tree is predictable: it will rot and spoil in no time!
However, there are always exceptions. When monkeys store fruits for the winter, they usually choose dry and cool tree holes or stone caves. When the winter snow melts, there will always be one or two places where the fruits, by an extreme coincidence, will naturally ferment into wine in accordance with the changes of the seasons.

This type of liquor is known as monkey wine.

Xu Qing had never tasted such wine before. According to the red-tailed monkey, there were only three tree holes and one stone pit hidden on the cliff top in the entire Monkey Mountain where wine could be brewed.

Moreover, in the years since the red-tailed monkeys left Monkey Mountain, two of the only three tree holes have been destroyed due to tree decay and insect infestation. Now, only the stone pit at the bottom of the cliff and the old willow tree hole on the south side of the mountain remain intact.

The red-tailed monkey sighed deeply, for not only the monkeys on the mountain had changed, but also the environment of Monkey Mountain itself.

"Back in the day, my Monkey Immortal Hall was one of the most popular temples in Tianjin. I never imagined that it would turn into this state in just a few years."

Xu Qing was not surprised at all. In the entire Monkey Immortal Hall, only the Red-tailed Monkey was good at human affairs. With the departure of the Monkey King, who was the most skilled at socializing, the rest were all mischievous and unruly monkeys. It would be a miracle if they could manage the Immortal Hall well!
"In comparison, Brother Xu's Cat Immortal Hall is managed much better. I wonder how the Xuan Yu Immortal Clan and Brother Xu managed to do it. I am truly envious."

Xu Qing didn't respond. He was focused entirely on the monkey wine in front of him and had no interest in getting involved in the Monkey Immortal Hall's affairs.

During his absence, Cat Fairy Hall has come into contact with many new businesses and its influence has expanded considerably. As the head of the hall, he also has to find time to make new plans and instructions for the hall. He has no time to stay and be a strategist for Monkey.

"Master Hou, there's no need to worry. Before, the Monkey Immortal Hall was leaderless, but now that you're in charge, things will naturally get better and better in the future."

The red-tailed monkey scratched its ears and cheeks; the calmer Xu Qing remained, the more anxious it became.

Inside the cave, the white-browed old monkey, carrying a wine cup that was neither porcelain nor jade, came to the table.

Xu Qing glanced at it and saw that the wine cup was actually a gourd ladle that had been split in half, with the clear, yellow wine swirling inside.

Before the wine even reached his lips, Xu Qing could smell its peculiar aroma.

At first, it smells slightly sour like wild apricot, then it has the floral scent of honey, and finally there is a hint of sweetness from crabapple.

Xu Qing took a sip, and his eyes lit up immediately.

This wine is truly extraordinary!
"Would you like some, Immortal Xuanyu?"

There is no cat in the world that is not curious. Xuan Yu does not usually like to drink alcohol, but the monkey wine in front of him has the aroma of a hundred fruits. This kind of taste would make even a monk who does not eat meat unable to suppress his cravings, let alone a person who never drinks alcohol.

The little girl took the wine ladle from Xu Qing and first took a small, cautious sip. After tasting the sweetness, she began to sip it slowly.

After finishing the wine in the small gourd, Xuan Yu's ears were already bright red, and even the top of his head was emitting wisps of white steam.

Here, the white-browed old monkey brought over another ladle of monkey wine, which Xu Qing tilted his head back and drank in one gulp. He felt as if fruit pits were jumping around in his throat, as if he had swallowed an entire orchard in the midst of spring.

He felt as if peach blossom buds and plum buds were leaping in his mouth, throat, and stomach. He was afraid he would never forget this strange feeling, even after a thousand or ten thousand years.

Xu Qing's gaze fell on the red-tailed monkey. He hadn't been interested in the Monkey Immortal Hall before, but the wine he was drinking today had piqued his interest.
“Master Hou, say what you have to say now. If you come looking for me again after today, I may not be as easy to talk to as I am today.”

The shrewd red-tailed monkey, naturally adept at drinking etiquette, toasted Xu Qingxuan twice before speaking:

“Brother Xu, let’s not beat around the bush. When I was learning my skills in the cave, the Monkey King gave me some pointers. He said that in this world, the path to heaven is cut off, yin and yang are out of balance, and the immortals and gods do not care about the human world. This world is already a turbid and evil world, and people’s hearts are also dark and difficult to understand. It is far from what it used to be.”

"When I traveled through the Central Plains, I saw too many natural and man-made disasters. Even the immortals could not escape the influence of the great forces. Brother Xu, have you ever seen immortals occupying the bodies of shamanic disciples, eating people and calling themselves gods?"

The red-tailed monkey said with lingering fear, "Those immortals thought that by possessing beings and killing, they could avoid incurring their own sins. Little did they know that this was precisely the effect of the foul air from the Yin River polluting the Yang Realm."

"Demons are not as intelligent as humans, and they cultivate demonic and turbid energy, making them more susceptible to the influence of the aura emanating from the Yin River. Now that the path to heaven is blocked, immortals who are determined to become immortals have no hope of achieving it. Who would be willing to cultivate their mind and character? Everyone cultivates their mind in order to become immortals. If they cannot become immortals, what is the difference between that and working for nothing?"
Even if the little merit and offerings everyone works so hard to accumulate can ward off lightning strikes, can they really ward off fires and storms?

Having seen the world for the first time, the red-tailed monkey said weakly, "I returned from my travels in the Central Plains only to learn that the monkeys on the mountain had been wreaking havoc on the villages while I was away. My shamanic disciples, struggling to make a living, have even abandoned their shrine and taken their old and young monkeys to Tianjin to perform on the streets."

"This must be due to the influence of foul air!"

The red-tailed monkey made a solemn vow.

Xu Qing fell completely silent upon hearing this. The Path to Heaven had been severed for thousands of years, and the Five Turbid World had existed for an unknown period of time. As for the Yin River Ancient Road, the radical faction that wanted to open up the underworld and the conservative faction that guarded the entrance to the underworld had been fighting for so many years without a clear winner. In the meantime, all the humans, ghosts, demons, and monsters in the mortal world who were affected by this had already chosen their sides.

The immortals of Tianjin chose to preserve their original intentions, continue to perform good deeds to save the world, and resist calamities, so there won't be much change.

Even if one or two spirits with wicked intentions wanted to change the situation in Tianjin, they would have to be able to defeat the entire circle of spirits in Tianjin!

Xu Qing thought for a moment and then explained, "Zhongzhou is different from Tianjin. Zhongzhou is a vast region with complex and intertwined immortal factions, so the struggles between them are endless. Immortal Hou is probably overthinking it."

The beauty of Tianjin lies in its moderate size; the number of different types of spirits there is limited, unlike in Central China, where every household can produce hundreds or even thousands of monkeys, foxes, and weasels.

"As for the problem with Monkey Immortal Hall, is it possible that there are other reasons?"

"impossible!"

Upon hearing this, the red-tailed monkey immediately bristled. It had finally managed to find a seemingly reasonable reason. If it wasn't for this reason, wouldn't it mean that its monkey offspring had a problem with their character?

"Absolutely impossible!"

Xu Qing pondered for a moment and said, "This won't work, and that won't work either. How about you bring your Monkey Immortal Hall here and become a hall master, receiving the incense offerings distributed by the main hall every year? That way, you won't be so suspicious all the time."

What Xu Qing referred to as the "protectorate" was actually the security department of a large hall, and the protectors of the altars and halls within the hall were all under the jurisdiction of the junior hall master.

"Sect Leader Xu is joking. How much incense can a branch hall master possibly earn in a year? You should know that at its peak, my Monkey Immortal Hall earned as much as 20,000 incense offerings a year. Even at its worst, we could still earn half of that amount in a year."

Seeing that the red-tailed monkey's attitude had turned cold, Xu Qing didn't care. He stood up and said, "The Hou family has been running their temple for over a hundred years, so they naturally have their own unique methods. I was just speaking casually, so the Hou family doesn't need to take it to heart."

The two, one stiff and one monkey, exchanged some more polite words. Just as Xu Qing was about to head home, Xuan Yu, with her rosy cheeks, asked in a thick tongue, "Master Xu, how many incense offerings does the guardian deity burn in a year?"

Xu Qing faced the cave entrance and said as he walked, "The responsibility of the guards is very important. They are the department that protects the safety of each branch. Their salary should be at least higher than that of Guan Dazhuang and the others."

"Guan Dazhuang receives no less than 50,000 incense offerings a year. If he were to guard the temple, he would need at least 80,000 or 90,000, and if he did a good job, 100,000 wouldn't be out of the question."

As Xu Qing approached the cave entrance, before he could even leave, a figure suddenly appeared before him.

"Brother Xu, Grand Master! Great Hall Master!"

The red-tailed monkey, with a sly grin, changed its address in an instant.

Cat Immortal Hall is renowned for its excellent reputation among the immortals in Tianjin. If it truly has so many incense offerings, it would be better to become the head of a branch hall. That way, even if it couldn't resist its playful nature one day and went on a journey to distant places, it wouldn't have to worry about the monkeys and their offspring of Monkey Immortal Hall being left unattended.

Furthermore, if it's not comfortable staying in the separate hall, it can always go back to its own monkey mountain.
The red-tailed monkey was calculating his next move, but Xu Qing seemed completely oblivious, readily taking over the mess that was Monkey Mountain.

But does Xu Qing really not understand the nature of monkeys?

That's impossible. Xu Qing had learned firsthand from Master Yuan how unreliable the monkey was, so he couldn't possibly trust him completely.

As for the protection of the hall
The red-tailed monkey can quit at any time, but as long as it works for a year or a month, everyone on Monkey Mountain has to obey its orders.

What Xu Qing lacks now is a celestial being; as long as the other party has a decent character, he can find a place for them to use their skills.

Finally, there's monkey wine. This stuff is great. If a monkey quits one day, it can leave, but the wine has to be brewed again.

Xu Qing and the red-tailed monkey were both delighted, and the two got along remarkably well.

After the incense table was set up and the deities from various shrines were invited to witness the event, the red-tailed monkey became a monkey with an owner.

But the monkey was still grinning as it counted the incense sticks for Xu Qing.

"As expected of the sect leader, he is a trustworthy person. He said he would provide the incense offerings in advance, and he did."

Xu Qing smiled, then turned to the assembled immortals and said, "Immortal Hou's cultivation is remarkable. In the future, if any of your halls encounter an extremely dangerous situation, and I am not in the main hall, you can burn incense and send a message to request Immortal Hou to come and protect your hall."

After arranging all matters related to the newly established branch hall, Xu Qing and Xuan Yu left Monkey Mountain.

At this moment, Huang Laoxu, who had been invited to witness the ceremony, suddenly asked the red-tailed monkey:
"Fellow Daoist Hou accepted Xu boy's offerings?"

The red-tailed monkey said smugly, "What, you want to be the general guarding the hall too?"

Old Huang shook his head and said, "By accepting the incense offerings, you've essentially sold yourself. Young Xu is so generous with the incense offerings; he must have some difficult matters waiting for you to handle. Fellow Daoist Hou has fallen into a trap without even realizing it!"

The red-tailed monkey was startled awake by these words.

Logically speaking, it should have thought of this long ago, but when 200,000 incense offerings were thrown in front of it, who could not be moved by such a visual impact?
"Two hundred thousand incense offerings are enough to buy my life!"

Old Huang was somewhat envious, but more than that, he was gloating: "I have been cautious all my life and always leave room for maneuver. Even if the Cat Immortal Hall offers great benefits and offers a huge temptation, it is only to let my grandson work for their hall, while I sit firmly at the mountain gate."

"Xu boy is merely a disciple of the Cat Immortal. Even if he possesses some extraordinary abilities, it is ultimately a heretical path, unlikely to prolong his life. He is but a mortal, with a mortal body; how long can he live? With over a hundred years of cultivation, my lifespan can easily outlive one person. By then, the Cat Immortal Hall will disband, and my grandson will be able to return and take over my Yellow Immortal Hall."

The red-tailed monkey felt increasingly deceived as it listened, but when it heard Huang Laoxu mention his plan to outlive Xu Qing, it suddenly calmed down.

If Huang Laoxu were to say that he could survive the cat immortals of the Cat Immortal Hall, he might seriously consider it, but surviving Xu Qing...
Even two old men with Huang's beards combined might not be able to outlast him!
This old fox is clearly narrow-minded and doesn't know how deep Xu Qing's cultivation is.

The Red-tailed Monkey survived the lightning calamity and possesses clear eyes, seeing far more clearly than Huang Laoxu. Humans have shorter lifespans than demons. Although the leader of the Cat Immortal Hall is human, those who survive the lightning calamity still have at least three hundred years of lifespan.

Huang Lao has no hope of escaping the lightning calamity, and his cultivation is only about a hundred years old. How can he possibly outlast Xu Qing?

"Fellow Daoist Huang, you are truly farsighted. I certainly didn't consider things as thoroughly as you."

The red-tailed monkey smiled easily. Just because Huang Laoxu couldn't outlast his opponent didn't mean he couldn't.

Human lifespan is definitely shorter than that of demons.

(End of this chapter)