I was forced to cultivate immortality when I just wanted to lie down

Chapter 284 A Beast in Human Form, A Zombie with Feelings

It was late at night, inside the coroner's shop.

Xu Qing, dressed in the costume of the Overlord, sat on the coffin with his legs spread wide, looking very imposing.

Before him, Boss Liu held a brush, ink, and paint, intently painting his face.

The tyrant's face was distinctly black and white, devoid of any other color.

Liu Su'e came from an opera troupe and sang opera since she was a child. She could handle all kinds of facial makeup with ease!

Before long, a majestic and solemn image of a tyrant with a mournful expression appeared out of thin air.

Xu Qing picked up the bronze mirror and looked at himself. He saw both the mighty, unparalleled strength of the Overlord and his stubbornness, as well as the endless desolation he felt when he was trapped in a desperate situation.

Xuan Yu leaned closer to examine it curiously, only to see Xu Qing suddenly open its eyes wide in anger, as if to intimidate it.

"."

The black cat opened its eyes wide, unblinking, completely oblivious.

Cats only recognize scents. As long as the scent of Xu Xian's house remains, no matter what Xu Qing does, Xuan Yu will not feel that it will be harmful to it.

If it weren't for this unconditional trust, it wouldn't have lost its life.

Xu Qing looked at the bronze mirror and savored it for a moment.

With that mournful face of his, if he went out at night and glared at us, not to mention children, even timid adults would be scared to tears.

"Is Brother Xu going to perform a ghost opera for people?"

Seeing Xu Qing nod, Liu Su'e asked doubtfully, "But isn't it a rule in our funeral rites that we don't allow painted-face actors to perform for others?"

According to funeral customs, for any funeral opera, only male and female roles can be performed; elaborate costumes are not allowed on stage, and large gongs and drums are strictly prohibited to avoid disturbing the "guests."

Before Liu Su'e joined the troupe, the Liyuan Opera troupe had collaborated with Xu Qing and promised to perform a ghost play.

Xu Qing made it clear at the time that the painted-face roles must not be allowed to appear on stage, and only male and female roles should sing.

However, on that day, Master Feng happened to be negotiating a business deal with a wealthy businessman from Tianjin and booked the entire Liyuan Opera House.

The wealthy merchant didn't like other operas, only operas featuring male and female leads. Remembering Xu Qing's reminder, Master Chen said to Master Feng, "The troupe just agreed to perform at an outdoor venue yesterday, but we don't have enough female leads. How about we put on a few performances featuring painted-face roles to make up the numbers?"

Without a second thought, Master Feng refused outright: "Boss Bai dislikes nothing more than painted-face roles, and he doesn't like watching fight scenes or ugly plays. He only likes to hear male and female leads sing."

"Master Chen, let's put aside the future for now. You have to make proper arrangements for today's matter. You can't let the business I'm about to get fall through, can you?"

As they were talking, Master Feng reached into his sleeve, pulled out a silver note, and stuffed it into the hand of Master Chen, who had been politely declining.

Both sides were regular customers of the opera troupe, and Master Chen wanted to earn money from both sides, so he didn't want to offend either of them.

But this actor's role can't be split up.
As they say, business people are shrewd. Master Chen's eyelids twitched, and he clapped his hands, instantly coming up with an idea.

Master Feng's side consists of living people, not easily fooled; the mortuary is for the dead, where they perform ghost plays, and the dead can't tell good from bad.
Alright! Let's rearrange the cast. Send a female lead as a token gesture, and let the painted-face martial arts actors fill in for the rest. That way, neither side will give us a bad review.

Isn't this just fooling people?!
Unfortunately, the job was arranged by the brothel on his behalf, and Xu Qing was unaware of it. He never imagined that Master Chen would be so audacious as to break their long-standing agreement and pull such a stunt!
That evening, the opera troupe arrived at a secluded mulberry grove fifteen li south of the city gate.

In front of the mulberry grove, there was a grand mansion with four courtyards and four entrances, bearing the plaque of the Bai family.

The head parent in charge was puzzled. He had some impression of the wealthy families in the vicinity of Linjiang County, but he had never heard of the Bai family.

Before the steward could think further, the gates of the Bai residence suddenly swung open, and a maid with bright red cheeks and fair skin, wearing heavy makeup, spoke up: "Miss has ordered that only male and female roles are allowed to be sung; male martial arts actors and painted-face actors are not permitted to play drums or sing. Furthermore, there must be no rest until dawn."

The troupe leader verbally agreed, but he only used the female lead in the first two or three scenes.

Only an hour had passed since the opening performance ended. By then, the only female lead the troupe had brought was hoarse and her voice was sore from singing. She refused to go on stage to perform again.

If her voice is damaged, she will lose her job completely!
The steward glanced at the sky. At this moment, only the faint green glow of the lamps inside the Bai residence could be heard, and there was no sound of human voices, as if everyone inside was fast asleep.

"What does it matter what kind of opera you sing? As long as you don't slack off and sing until dawn, isn't that enough?"

The steward waved his hand, and seeing this, the painted-face actor below the stage immediately grabbed a horsewhip, dragged a large knife with one hand, and rushed onto the stage.

"Waaaah—" A voice rang out, like a thunderclap, and even the candlelight on the stage suddenly went out.

Immediately following this was the sound of war drums beating and gongs ringing out.

Guan Ban didn't take it seriously at first, but the next moment, screams and shouts suddenly rang out from the silent Bai Mansion, and the lights in the Bai Mansion flickered and went out.

At this moment, dark clouds obscured the moon, and all the lights went out. The entire Bai Mansion, including the stage, was swallowed by darkness. The steward and the opera troupe were filled with surprise and doubt, so they hurriedly took out tinderboxes to light the candles.

When the lights came on, there was no trace of the Bai Mansion; it was clearly just a desolate tomb.

In front of the grave, the inscription reads the name of the deceased. Beneath the tombstone are the ashes of a recently burned paper house and various offerings.

It seems that someone came to pay their respects in the last few days.

The members of the opera troupe looked at each other in bewilderment, not daring to linger, and hurriedly returned to the city that very night.

The following day, upon hearing the news, Xu Qing went to confront Master Chen and demand an explanation.

Only then did the members of the opera troupe who had experienced the incident the previous night realize that the grave belonged to Miss Bai of the wealthy family.

Yesterday marked the third anniversary of Miss Bai's passing. Master Bai specially sought out Xu Qing, saying that Miss Bai loved listening to operas with male and female leads, so he wanted to arrange a funeral opera for his daughter.

Upon hearing this, Master Chen exclaimed in astonishment, "The one who came to see the opera with Master Feng yesterday was Master Bai!"

You know what a mess this is. Master Bai arranged a ghost play for his daughter, but he himself was also heartbroken and came to the theater to listen to the play.

In the end, Miss Bai didn't listen to the play well, and was instead quite frightened by the menacing general character played by the painted-face man.

The incident became common knowledge within the opera troupe, and from then on, Master Chen dared not break the rules again.

It was around that time that Xu Qing had the idea of ​​starting anew and establishing his own ghost opera troupe.

Now that Liu Su'e had asked about this, Xu Qing flashed his white teeth and laughed, "Rules are for good ghosts. As for evil ghosts, who cares about rules?"

"A demon? That's very dangerous. If Brother Xu is going, you have to take me with you. I can also play the painted-face role."

Despite her seemingly gentle and weak appearance, Liu Su'e is actually more fierce than anyone else. Even when threatened by the opera ghost at the Xishi Opera House in Tianjin, she never compromised and went to sing the painted-face role.

But now, this stubborn woman is going against her own will to sing that clown role that hurts her voice.

Xu Qing glanced at Liu Su'e, whose resolute gaze resembled that of Yu Ji, who was willing to commit suicide for Xiang Yu.

"."

Xu Qing was silent for a moment, then picked up his hand and smacked Liu Su'e on the head.

"With your current skill level, you can't even beat my apprentice, the embroiderer, and you still want to help me? You'd be lucky if you didn't drag me down!"

Seeing that Boss Liu didn't get jealous despite the pain, but instead her eyes welled up with tears when she heard that she was useless, Xu Qing could only add, "Focus on your cultivation and don't overthink it. You've already helped me a lot by performing the ghost opera at the Mourning Gate."

Liu Su'e nodded in agreement, a smile instantly returning to her face. After Liu Su'e left the coroner's shop, Xuan Yu, who had been quiet all along, suddenly spoke up: "Master Xu, I want to learn to sing opera too!"

"What kind of opera are you performing? You are the head of the Cat Fairy Hall and the chief manager of the Underworld Opera Troupe. What kind of manager would perform on stage? If that's the case, others will think that our Cat Fairy Hall is short of people and needs the Cat Fairy family to perform for money."

"Besides, you can't even meow properly, what are you trying to learn to sing opera?"

Upon hearing this, Xuan Yu was about to speak to prove something, but it realized what was going on in the next moment.

"Only kittens meow like that. I'm a big cat now. Xu Xianjia has ulterior motives; he's trying to make me look foolish."

Xu Qing felt somewhat regretful. He might have been a little wicked, but he had no intention of embarrassing Xuan Yu.

How could a cat be ugly if it meows sweetly?
That's the downside of cats that are too sensible; they're always reluctant to show their vulnerable side.

When the clapper struck at the second watch, it was a time when the night was as cool as water, and even ghosts shivered.

Xu Qing wore a helmet emblazoned with the Overlord's helmet and a theatrical costume. Four flags were stuck on his back. With the slightest movement, the golden tassels and bright red pom-poms on the helmet would tremble incessantly.

In addition, Xu Qing did not need to stick or hang his beard on his upper and lower jaws. He activated the corpse energy on his body, and the dark blue corpse hairs cascaded down like a waterfall until they reached his waist and abdomen.

After doing all this, Xu Qing took out the personal sword that Zuo Zixiong had given him from the Mountain and River Map, hung it on his waist, and that was the end of the job!

The Five Shadows Taoist was traveling with Zuo Zixiong. It wouldn't be difficult for Xu Qing to find them. He only needed to use Zuo Zixiong's sword as a medium to calculate the Ziwei Doushu (a system of divination) and find out the Five Shadows Taoist's location.

However, when Zuo Zixiong presented the sword, he was playing the role of a marshal of the Eight Banners on stage, and no one knew his identity. Now that he was going to the Yinhe Ancient Road to clear the name of the zombies in Linjiang County, he could not go there in the same manner.

After much thought, Xu Qing decided to do as before, wearing theatrical costumes and playing the role of a painted face, so that even if he met Zuo Zixiong, he could pretend to be a marshal of the Eight Banners and avoid any unexpected trouble.

The Yinhe Ancient Road remains a scene of apocalyptic desolation, with ashes scattered everywhere.

Holding the mountain-splitting axe, Xu Qing stacked the Heavenly Gang Axe Technique to seventeen layers before opening the twin coffins and stepping out of the tombstone.

Fortunately, the area was filled with tombstones and cemeteries, and no one discovered where he had hidden the twin coffins.
Putting away his axe, Xu Qing stood on the weathered bones, holding a sword in one hand, constantly calculating the Zi Wei Dou Shu (a Chinese astrological system).

The Yin River has no sun or moon, and the Zi Wei Dou Shu divination method, which relies on astrology and divination, is clearly in disarray. Xu Qing raised an eyebrow and immediately changed his divination method.

Over the years, he has performed rituals to help the deceased immortals, fortune tellers, or disciples of the Shock Sect find their way to the afterlife. Since he cannot sense the stars, he uses methods such as the Tui Bei Tu (a Chinese prophecy book), the Fish Immortal Technique, divination with yarrow stalks, or the method of asking for directions by throwing shoes.

After a moment's thought, Xu Qing finally chose the Fish Immortal Technique, which he had never used before.

The Fish Fairy Technique involves placing fish scales on the object to be divined, which then transforms the object into a fish, creating a connection.

Xu Qing made a hand seal and chanted an incantation, drawing a wisp of magical power onto the sword. The next moment, the sword floated in his palm like a swimming fish, pointing in a certain direction.

He followed the trail and eventually ended up in the Ghost King's Tomb.

"The Ghost King's Tomb is a sacred site worshipped by the Red-Clothed Sect, while Zuo Zixiong belongs to the Eight Banners Marshal faction. The two are not exactly enemies, but at least they are not on good terms. What are they doing at the Ghost King's Tomb?"

Xu Qing was puzzled. He cautiously explored further, and fortunately, he did not go very far. He found Zuo Zixiong's trace only on the outskirts of the Ghost King's Tomb.

Upon exiting the tomb, Zuo Zixiong stood guard in the distance, wielding two swords. Meanwhile, Wu Ying Dao Ren, accompanied by a Daoist who bore his identical appearance, negotiated with the ghost generals and soldiers under the command of Duo E Gui Wang at the entrance to the main tomb passage.

Xu Qing was clearly taken aback when he saw the ghost general. Wasn't this the same ghost general he had entertained with iron cannons using paper figures?

You're still alive?
Facing the familiar ghost in person, Xu Qing felt a pang of emotion. So many years had passed; he wondered if the ghost general still hated him.

With the ability to perceive sounds, ghost stories and supernatural sounds from within a ten-mile radius immediately appeared in his mind.

Xu Qing ignored the noise and carefully listened to the negotiations between the two sides.

“General Ghost Altar, I am aware of the Red-Clothed Sect’s offering of incense. Their actions are nothing more than an attempt to use the Ghost King to wear down the fate of the human dynasty. Now I have brought some blood offerings to offer to the Ghost King as well. I hope that General Ghost Altar will convey our goodwill to the Ghost King Duo’e and ask him not to interfere in the struggle between the fates of Dayong and Nancuo.”

When the Ghost Altar General saw the living people captured from the Yin River and their blood offerings, his empty eyes immediately gleamed with a greedy green light.

"That's fine, but this amount of blood food isn't quite enough."

Ghost General's eyes flickered with ghostly fire as he chuckled eerily, "For this meager offering, I can only promise the Taoist priest that I will not interfere in your fighting for seven days, but after seven days..."

"Unless there is new blood offering, we cannot enjoy the incense offerings of the human world for nothing."

The Five Shadows Taoist was not angry upon hearing this. He smiled and said, "Then I will find some blood offerings to give to the Ghost King in a few days."

Watching the ghost general leave, Zuo Zixiong finally couldn't bear it any longer. He suppressed his anger and said in a hoarse voice, "Those are my people of Dayong. How can we send them to demons to eat!"

Without even glancing at the other man, the Five Shadows Daoist said directly, "General Zuo, do not forget the mission His Majesty entrusted to you. All of this is for the sake of the Great Yong Dynasty."

In the distance, Xu Qing's expression shifted between light and shadow.

He wasn't surprised that the Five Shadows Taoist used human blood to trade with ghosts, but how could Zuo Zixiong, who was always upright, sit idly by and watch the people of Dayong be devoured by evil spirits?

"Seven days."

Xu Qing looked at the departing figure of the Five Shadows Daoist.

Whether the other party can obtain blood offerings again within seven days is another matter; Xu Qing only knows that the Five Shadows Daoist's seventh day after death is not far off.

Practice makes perfect, and Xu Qing is now quite experienced in dealing with the Taoist priests from the Celestial Master's Mansion.

Sexuality cannot exist without life, and life cannot exist without sexuality. The Xuanmen school advocates the dual cultivation of sexuality and life, which are interdependent and inseparable.

Cultivators like the Seven Sons of Xuanji, who cultivate life but not nature, have already gone astray and strayed from the Great Dao.

The Xuanmen (Taoist school) often says: "Cultivating life without cultivating nature is the first disease in cultivation." If one only focuses on cultivating the physical life palace, such as through guiding exercises, taking elixirs, or relying on external objects, while neglecting the awakening of the mind and nature, one will not be able to understand one's true nature and will be doomed to eternal damnation, making it difficult to comprehend the true secrets.

Perhaps influenced by the evil world, the Celestial Master's Mansion pays great attention to the destiny of its disciples, and even uses the number of shadows cast by magical artifacts to distinguish the disciples' talent for cultivation.

To this day, almost every disciple of the Celestial Master's Mansion is burdened with karmic debts.

The path to heaven is cut off, and the passage to the underworld is sealed. The shadows accompanying the disciples of the Celestial Master's Mansion are all their close relatives. These shadows are different from ordinary ghosts. They are tormented by their loved ones and cannot escape. Their resentment is hard to dispel, and they cannot enter the cycle of reincarnation. Over time, they become ghost spirits and completely merge with the person who killed them, inseparable.

Humans and ghosts are ultimately different beings. If humans stay with ghosts for too long, their minds will be affected, and they may even fall into madness.

The Taoists of the Celestial Master's Mansion are the same. Judging from the few Taoists that Xu Qing has come into contact with, almost all of them are obsessed and fanatical, unlike ordinary people. Their cultivation methods have also become extremely evil due to the interference of those ever-present evil spirits.

Xu Qing, being a zombie, was born with a dislike for orthodox methods. The Taoist priests of the Celestial Master's Mansion, on the other hand, took a crooked path, causing the original orthodox methods to decline and instead turned to demonic pursuits of evil methods.

Xu Qing, on the other hand, is least afraid of evil magic.

When it comes to being unorthodox, who can compare to him?

In other words, even a wicked zombie who doesn't even have a destiny knows the importance of cultivating both body and mind, while the Celestial Master's Mansion, which claims to be the orthodox Xuanmen, is learning some crooked and evil ways.

If you didn't know better, you'd think they were doing some kind of performance art.

After leaving Wuying Daoist, Xu Qing immediately set off to intercept the Ghost Altar General who had disappeared.

Those common people are all potential customers of his funeral parlor in the future. How can he sit idly by and let these ghosts eat them so easily?

(End of this chapter)