I was forced to cultivate immortality when I just wanted to lie down

Chapter 304 Family Members, Cenotaph

In the backyard of the coffin shop, an old woman with bound feet glared coldly.

The weather seemed even colder during the depths of winter.

Tao Sanmei trembled as she listened to the Xuanmen Master's criticism and education.

Having settled in the coffin shop, she had nowhere to hide, and her eyes were filled with panic and helplessness.

The old woman spoke without any mercy, as if she might transform into a woodcutter at any moment and cut down the peach tree in front of her by the roots.

"I have used at least eight hundred, if not a thousand, peach wood magical artifacts. All the wood you have isn't even enough for me to forge a cloud boat magical artifact. Where do you get the audacity to act as a go-between?"

After a barrage of threats and a stern reprimand, Peach Tree Sister was completely ruined.

Why is she so unlucky? Not long ago, she was sold into slavery to the Cat Fairy Hall to pay off debts, which was bad enough. But how can being a good person, guiding others, and helping them find a happy marriage be considered a sin?
According to normal procedures, shouldn't she be a member of Master Yizhen's family?
The thought of being struck by lightning in a few days inevitably brought a look of utter despair to Tao Sanmei's face.

His face seemed to have four words written on it: 'Destroy us quickly!'

It seems there's no need for this tree to continue its life.
However, just as Peach Sister was about to suffocate under the pressure of the Primordial Spirit True Man, the Grand Master of the Cat Immortal Hall, her employer, arrived just in time.

Tao Sanmei's eyes lit up instantly. Compared to the abbot of Jingxu Temple, she suddenly felt that the young master in front of her had become kind and approachable.

Terrified, Tao Sanmei lifted her skirt and ran behind Xu Qing.

They seemed to regard Xu Qing as their savior who would protect them from disaster.

"You surnamed Xu, didn't I just meet you? What are you doing here again?" The old abbot frowned.

Xu Qing seemed oblivious to Jingxu's displeasure. He chuckled and took out the couplet, saying, "The end of the year is approaching, and today is the day for putting up couplets. I just wrote a couplet and brought it here so that Senior Sister Yizhen can put it up outside the shop and experience the festive atmosphere of the secular world."

Jingxu's expression brightened slightly; this reason was acceptable.

After discussing the matter of pasting up the couplets, Xu Qing turned to Tao Sanmei behind him and said, "Senior Jingxu is a Nascent Soul True Person and will not make things difficult for a junior like you. The old senior will be staying here for a few days. You must serve him well. It's the New Year, and I'm sure the senior will not mistreat you."

"."

Jingxu glanced at Xu Qing and snorted. How could she not understand the implication in his words!
Early that morning, new white paper lanterns were hung at the coffin shops on the street, and the couplets on both sides were also made of light pinkish-white paper with black ink characters written on them, making them look particularly unique.

The shops on Jingxia Street are mostly in the funeral industry, so their New Year customs are naturally different from those of ordinary families.

After Xu Qing took the lead in putting up the couplets on the first shop, the rest were decorated by the various halls in cooperation with the immortals.

Outside the paper-craft shop, nine-foot-tall Tiezhu held a brand-new couplet on his shoulder. Huang Xiaoliu chattered on, stubbornly believing that Tiezhu had pasted it crookedly.

Xu Qing looked at the perfectly straight couplet and couldn't see where it was crooked.

He didn't interfere, letting the spirit mediums and deities communicate and adapt to each other.

After Tie Zhu finished pasting the couplets, he ran to the middle of the road to take a look. The couplets on both sides of the shop door, which were originally two vertical bars, had turned into an inward-pointing shape.

Xu Qing shook his head helplessly. If you want to talk about the best couplets, you have to ask Boss Liu of the funeral clothes shop.

Liu Su'e is not only a good singer, but also very meticulous in her work.

Looking at their own coroner's shop, the lanterns that read "Welcome" and "Send Off" are printed with cat paw prints that look like ink plum blossoms. The couplets on both sides and the horizontal scroll on the door frame are also decorated with cat paw prints.

Xuan Yu looked at the masterpiece she had helped create and felt a great sense of accomplishment.

"Manager Xu's handwriting is truly beautiful; he deserves to be called a scholar."

Looking at the newly pasted couplets across the street, Cheng Caiyun didn't hold back her praise.

Xu Qing raised an eyebrow and said, "Of course, this is all from writing memorial tablets and inscriptions. It's our livelihood."

"Pah! Pah! Pah! It's the New Year, and all you do is say such unlucky things!"

Xu Qing looked happily at the funeral street he had built up through hard work. He didn't know how many more times he would see such a lively scene, but at least for now he was enjoying this lifestyle.

Later that evening, Xu Qing returned to the coffin shop.

He was somewhat wary of the uninvited Abbess Jingxu. Jingxia Street was where he started his business and held great significance; he had to make sure this little old woman posed no threat to him.

As soon as Xu Qing arrived at the coffin shop, the old woman who was filtering the pure air of heaven and earth and absorbing the essence of the sun and moon immediately got angry!

We only met twice during the day, why are you here again?
The abbot of Jingxu Temple was on high alert, just like Xu Qing.

Faced with the questioning from the Yuan Shen Zhenren, Xu Qing answered fluently: "Senior and Senior Sister Yi Zhen have come from afar, and it is currently the end of the year, so I naturally have to bring gifts to pay my respects."

As he spoke, Xu Qing took out a beautifully packaged gift box, on which was painted a picture of ascending to heaven, with words of congratulations written on the left and right: "Taoist spirit and immortality."

The abbess of Jingxu Temple had never seen such a sugar-coated bullet before. It would be a lie to say that the old lady was not moved when she saw the picture of soaring into the sky on the gift box.

'This kid may not seem as cunning as Hu Baosong, but at least he's more polite and respectful to his elders than that old fox.'

Just as the abbess of Jingxu Temple was beginning to change her impression of Xu Qing, she saw him take out an even more exquisite gift box and give it to her disciple.

The gift box also featured a painting, but it depicted a fairy ascending to heaven.

"The maiden, with her thoughts intertwined, soars through the heavens, her voice like a phoenix's cry amidst the white jade."

Even his congratulatory message was longer than that of the Abbot of Jingxu Temple.

"This kid isn't doing all this just to give Yizhen a gift, is he?"

The abbot of Jingxu Temple looked at the two of them with suspicion.

Xu Qing didn't know what the old woman was thinking. After delivering the gift and confirming that Tao Sanmei hadn't suffered any major injustice and that the old woman hadn't caused any trouble on his turf, he turned back.

However, no sooner had he left than Jingxu urged Yizhen to open the gift box and see what was inside this New Year's gift.

Master Yizhen was also curious, so he casually untied the red silk and opened the gift box.

On the brocade cloth in the middle of the gift box lay a pair of clear and elegant earrings.

Master Yizhen was slightly taken aback. The old woman frowned. She looked at the earrings, and a blue light flashed in her eyes. She immediately recognized that these were not ordinary earrings, but a pair of inseparable anti-aging artifacts.

If even one earring is lost, the entire ritual object will lose half its effectiveness, and its anti-aging effect will also be halved.

The old woman felt something was wrong the more she thought about it. When she saw her apprentice pick up the earrings, as if he wanted to try them on, she jumped up in surprise.

“That kid is up to no good, disciple. Let’s not take his things! It’s just an earring. Tomorrow I’ll find the materials and make you a pair that’s even better than his.”

Yi Zhen reacted quickly, putting the earrings back into the gift box and tucking them into her sleeve before her master could make a move.

At the same time, she changed the subject, saying, "Master, you haven't seen what gift Junior Brother Xu gave you. Maybe it's a pair of earrings too."

"What nonsense are you spouting? If he dares to give me this, I'll throw him into the River of the Dead right now and let him fend for himself!"

That's what he said, but when the old abbot saw the drawing of soaring into the sky on the gift box, he still couldn't suppress his sense of regret at being born at the wrong time.

Upon opening the gift box, there were no earrings as Yizhen had mentioned, only several bottles of pills, a few plasters, and a few powerful pills wrapped in candy wrappers.

As it turns out, even a Nascent Soul True Person can burst out laughing when they're utterly speechless. Jingxu, furious, retorted with a laugh, "Still saying you didn't have ulterior motives? You received a youth-preserving artifact, but I received some low-grade folk ointments."

"Does he perhaps think that I also suffer from rheumatism and bone pain?"

Jingxu flicked the sleeve of his primordial spirit, and apart from the plaster and the powerful pills, the caps of the bottles of pills also fell to the side.

Almost instantly, a rich, pure medicinal aura filled the entire courtyard.

Even Tao Sanmei, who was watching the commotion from the sidelines, couldn't help but sniffle.

"Huangya Dan, Qingyuan Dan"

Jingxu swallowed back the words that were on the tip of her tongue.

Although these pills are not considered rare treasures, in times of great calamity, when those who cultivate in seclusion hide their abilities and are unwilling to easily use their methods, these pills are of extraordinary value.

"This kid is quite generous, willing to send over such beneficial elixirs for cultivation."

However, Jingxu immediately realized and said, "Although this pill is not bad, it is dispensable to me. In the end, I will have to give it to my own disciple anyway."

"That kid was definitely up to no good!"

Jingxu had no idea that Xu Qing hadn't thought that far ahead when he gave the gift. He was a zombie, and the elixirs these righteous cultivators needed were not only useless to him, but also harmful.

In Xu Qing's eyes, these pills would be better distributed to the Cat Immortal Hall immortals as employee benefits or as gifts, rather than left to gather dust in a corner.

The twenty-seventh day of the twelfth lunar month.

On this day, just as dawn was breaking, Xu Qing visited the coffin shop again.

What are you doing here again?

The abbot of Jingxu Temple flew out of the wooden box, guarding Xu Qing as if he were a thief.

Xu Qing said with a smile, "Today is the day of my family's annual meeting. I came to find Sister Tao to go to the coroner's shop for a meeting and to give her some business advice."

Jingxu's expression softened slightly, but then she heard Xu Qing continue, "These past few days, Jinluan has wanted me to catch insects with it. If you don't mind, senior, in a couple of days I'll take it to a place with lots of insects so it can have a good meal and at least have a prosperous year."

Jingxu didn't take it to heart. That golden rooster was her helper when she wanted to go to the underworld. She had stumbled once because of it in her early years, and never dared to have the idea of ​​using the golden phoenix to go to the Yin River again.

And that useless chicken thus became a good-for-nothing snack in the Taoist temple, only good for crowing and begging for food, and could do nothing else.

Standing to the side, Daoist Yizhen nodded and said, "Of course I don't mind, but I'm just going to cause trouble for Junior Brother Xu again."

"Hey! We're all family, so don't worry about trouble. Senior sister, just rest assured, I'll make sure to feed Jinluan until she's plump and healthy so she can have a good New Year."

Xu Qing was making plans in his mind. In other people's eyes, Jinluan might be a useless bum, but in his eyes, even the most useless immortals and demons could be put to use.

As night falls on Jingxia Street, the once deserted coroner's shop becomes filled with shadowy figures of immortals and demons.

Xu Qing spoke about the founding principles of the Immortal Hall and its future plans, making grand promises one after another. The immortals listened with great enthusiasm, and even the clever red-tailed monkey was so engrossed in the anticipation of the future that he could not extricate himself.

If you ask why Xu Qing's empty promises didn't arouse suspicion from the immortals?
The reason is simple: the promises made by the sect leader are genuine, and the actual amount given is far greater than the promises made.

I still remember when the sect leaders held their last meeting, they promised that each sect would receive no less than 30,000 incense offerings.

To this day, each temple has more than 50,000 worshippers.

Xu Qing rewarded those who had contributed. Because of the decline of Monkey Mountain, Red-tailed Monkey had been holding a grudge for the past two years, so he had the highest score in protecting the hall and received tens of thousands of incense offerings.

As thick incense sticks were thrown onto the various deities, the entire coroner's shop was filled with a group of small animals that looked as if they had eaten mushrooms.

The amount of incense was so enormous that even gods would be confused, let alone immortals.

When all the immortals returned to their respective places, only Peach Sister remained in the coroner's shop.

Xu Qing sat on the coffin lid and said, "As you can see, everyone worked hard for a year, and each branch only received this much incense."

What do you mean "just this much"? That's enough to buy her life!
Tao Sanmei's heart pounded as she listened.

“I previously gave you 200,000 incense sticks to ward off the lightning disaster. Today I am giving you another 100,000 so that you can be absolutely certain of surviving the calamity.”

"Of course, all this incense was painstakingly collected by the Cat Immortal Hall, and it's impossible for it to be given to you for nothing. Now that you are the Sweeping Hall Immortal, you will need to do your best for the hall in the future and pay off these debts as soon as possible."

"I don't expect you to repay me. When you pay off your debts, you can stay in the gang if you want, or stay in the coffin shop to live a quiet life if you want. But there's one thing you need to remember."

"That means you can't talk about anything related to the Cat Fairy Hall to anyone, and you can't mention me either, otherwise..."

Having unexpectedly received 100,000 incense offerings, Tao Sanmei was completely intoxicated and had no other thoughts. Her eyes were glazed over, her face flushed, and she stammered, "I originally thought that the sect leader, like that Taoist Ge, coveted my body and wanted to take advantage of my kindness to refine me into a peach wood magic weapon. Now it seems that I was wrong. It turns out that the sect leader is actually a virtuous gentleman who teaches without discrimination and cherishes plants."

"Rest assured, Master. Like my elder and second elder sisters, I am by no means an ungrateful wood demon. As long as you are willing to serve me, I will always be a member of the Cat Immortal Hall and will never have any disloyal intentions."

After speaking, Tao Sanmei bowed gracefully, her gaze towards Xu Qing filled with gratitude.

Xu Qing waved his hand and said, "From now on, Boss Liu from the funeral clothes shop will be your shamanic disciple. She has some affinity with the wood spirit and is very compatible with you. Perhaps you can help each other achieve success."

After watching Tao Sanmei leave, Xuan Yu approached Xu Qing and asked, "Are you going into seclusion again?"

Xu Qing opened his mouth, but finally said with some helplessness, "I will not have peace of mind until the Heavenly Fox of White Cloud Cave is eliminated."

"The Cat Fairy Hall is now quite large. Most of the capable and reasonable immortals in Tianjin have joined the hall. Even the White Fairy of Yuehua Mountain is on good terms with us. The only one I can't let go of now is Master Crow."

"They said it would take at least six months, or at least two or three months, for it to make a comeback. But now six or seven years have passed, and there's still no news about it."

Xuan Yu comforted him, "Didn't Master Xu perform divination for Lord Gua? It's alright, it's just that the rain and snow delayed its journey home."

Xu Qing did not tell Xuan Yu that the hexagram "Rain and Snow Cover the Road" was originally called "Water and Mountain Difficulty," which is an inauspicious hexagram with Kan above and Gen below.

However, since Master Gua is far from home and lives on the other side of the ocean, his distant advice cannot quench his immediate thirst. If he were to tell Xuan Yu, it would only add to his troubles.

Just as the stiff cat and the crocodile were reminiscing about Grandpa Crow, a woman's voice suddenly rang out outside the coroner's shop.

"Shopkeeper, do you still deal in the dead here?"

Xu Qing turned his head and saw that the visitor was wearing a faded white robe. His face was ordinary, but his eyes had a natural allure.

It unconsciously evokes a bizarre feeling that these eyes shouldn't be on this face.

Xu Qing felt that the female fortune teller's figure and accent were somewhat familiar. At a certain moment, a flash of inspiration suddenly appeared in his mind.

This disguised female fortune teller is none other than Xuan Yu's unseen senior sister, the abandoned disciple of the nameless old woman, and the eight-tailed fox who appeared several times in the revolving lantern!

What's that fox doing here?
Xu Qing suppressed his doubts and said calmly, "Our shop is open all year round, 24 hours a day. May I ask what kind of service you would like to conduct?"

The female fortune teller breathed a sigh of relief and said:

"I want to build a cenotaph for my master."

　[Note] There will be a monthly pass bonus event in early September. To unlock this event, you need to vote by clicking the 'unlock button' below the monthly pass bonus. Please make sure you vote for the wrong thing when you vote for your monthly pass.

　　(This bonus episode is a limited-time early access event; it will be released for free later.)
　　
　
(End of this chapter)