Who let this Dementor into Hogwarts!

Chapter 439 This means I don't have to do Defense Against the Dark Arts homework this semester.
With Umbridge's "arrest and imprisonment," Hogwarts' Defense Against the Dark Arts course set a new record—no professor has ever resigned after teaching only three days of classes, making it the fastest teaching career in history.

Because of the expulsion of the speed of light, it is difficult to fill the vacancy of Defense Against the Dark Arts within a week.

According to Education Order No. 26 issued by Fudge in August, when Hogwarts cannot find a new professor, the Ministry of Magic will send a professional teaching staff to fill the vacancy.

Fudge wanted to send another "senior investigator," but given the precedent of Umbridge, who was rife with suspicion, no one in the Ministry of Magic was willing to get involved in this mess again.

At breakfast on Friday, Hermione was looking at the latest newspaper, wondering what the Ministry of Magic was up to. Ron remained silent, as if he had something on his mind. Harry and Cohen were discussing getting acquaintances to apply for jobs at Hogwarts.

“Should I call Sirius Black?” Harry said dreamily. “He could teach for a year—that way he wouldn’t be cursed with that position, and I could watch him fight with Snape.”

“Your godfather is a expendable tool to deal with Snape, right?” Cohen said, covering his face. “Dumbledore probably wouldn’t agree. First, Sirius is busy with the Order of the Phoenix right now. Second, if he’s in the same school as Snape, we won’t just be missing out on Defense Against the Dark Arts, we won’t even be able to learn Potions.”

“I feel like this doesn’t sound any different from now,” Harry sighed. “I never felt like I learned anything in Potions class, but I did learn a lot of Snape’s sarcastic remarks.”

“This stuff will be more useful than potions in the future,” Cohen said with a clear understanding of life. “You’ll have a need to be sarcastic and sarcastic towards people you dislike every day, but you won’t have a need to brew potions every day.”

"The Dementor breakout is still on the front page, along with accusations of the Ministry of Magic fabricating lies," Hermione said to them after reading the newspaper. "Because many people say they saw a large number of Dementors in Northumberland last month—why would they go there?"

“Maybe it’s because I was born there…” Cohen said casually, “They miss me.”

“That sounds reasonable.” Harry chuckled. “I wouldn’t be so afraid of them if they could talk to me…”

“You’re only less afraid of Dementors because of Cohen,” Hermione said bluntly. “But the people of Northumberland don’t know Cohen—and they might be attacked by Dementors all the time. It’s unbelievable that the Ministry of Magic hasn’t taken any safety precautions…”

"Why have the newspapers changed their tune? They're not protecting the Ministry of Magic anymore?" Harry asked, raising his eyebrows. "I thought they only knew how to smear us and praise the Ministry of Magic."

“They haven’t changed, they’re just afraid of dying.” Hermione shook her head. “The Man from the Dark Lord hasn’t shown up yet, so they naturally side with whichever side is louder. But the Dementors are a real threat to their safety.”

“Ron, what’s wrong? You haven’t seemed to be feeling well all morning…” Harry suddenly noticed Ron, who seemed full after only a few bites of food. “And you haven’t said much either…”

"Ah, me?" Ron snapped out of his daze. "Aren't you and Cohen going to be in solitary confinement again today—"

"You have amnesia?" Harry asked in surprise. "Umbridge has been arrested, how could we possibly be going to solitary confinement?"

“Oh, right, right…” Ron quickly corrected himself, “I got it mixed up—maybe I didn’t sleep well last night—do you guys want to go find Cohen’s chimera to learn some spells this evening?”

“I have to go to the goalkeeper trials, remember?” Harry said. “Angelina wants everyone on the team to be there…”

"Actually, if you wanted to participate, no one would object," Cohen said earnestly. "You played really well this summer—"

“Don’t talk nonsense—I didn’t—” Ron said in a panic.

“But how did you buy the broom?” Hermione asked in surprise. “I mean—you couldn’t possibly be riding one of those old brooms from school…”

"..." Ron looked hesitant. "What's there to hesitate about? If you want to play, I can actually buy you a ball..." Harry looked overjoyed—he still really wanted Ron to join the team.

“No—okay… I told you, you’re not allowed to laugh at me… I made a deal with Fred and George…” Ron said with difficulty.

"You sold your genitals?" Cohen's eyes widened.

“No way!” Ron immediately said, “I just… promised them I’d be their test subject for three months…”

"Isn't that still selling a ditch? It's just a ditch in your heart." Cohen sighed. "Honestly, you could go get two bottles of butterbeer and trade them for some fur from the unicorn in my trunk, and you could afford it..."

"Huh?" Ron asked incredulously, "You're kidding—"

“You can trade butterbeer for anything from a unicorn, even a dragon cub from the neighboring dragon's lair—they'll steal it for you.” Cohen nodded. “Some things, if you try to do them alone, you're bound to go astray…”

“Sigh…” Ron sighed.

Aside from Ron's secret participation in the Quidditch draw, everything was normal on Friday.

The professors were all pleased with Umbridge's departure. Professor Flitwick didn't assign them any homework, saying they should enjoy a "happy weekend."

Even Professor McGonagall only assigned one homework assignment, instead of a long paper.

But everything changed at lunchtime.

“Look! A new professor has arrived!” Dean said, pointing to a new face on the faculty table.

"Where? Is it Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Fred and George looked with interest in the direction Dean was pointing. "Merlin's braid—Cohen, look over there—"

"No, why would a new professor want me to study? I'm not going to follow—" Cohen was thinking about writing to Ginny's pen pal who seemed like a bad guy when he was interrupted and looked up impatiently.

"Isn't that your dad?" Harry asked in surprise.

“I recognize him, you don’t need to remind me again…” Cohen’s lips twitched.

"Please allow me to interrupt your lunch for a moment," Dumbledore said, rising before the lunch plates were served. "Due to Professor Umbridge's departure, our Defense Against the Dark Arts course has been temporarily suspended. I am delighted that Mr. Edward Norton has agreed to temporarily assume this role and continue teaching you the knowledge of Defense Against the Dark Arts..."

“Mr. Norton certainly wasn’t sent by the Ministry of Magic,” Harry said. “What do you think that means?”

“I think this means I won’t have to do Defense Against the Dark Arts assignments this semester,” Cohen said.

(End of this chapter)