Z Generation Love Theory

Chapter 1 Fate has decided that we will never be together again

June 2016

What does the ocean look like? Having grown up over a thousand kilometers inland from the coastline, I finally had my first inkling of it. For 20 years, my most figurative concept of the ocean came from movies and television. Mention the word "sea," and the electrical signals running through my neurons would accurately conjure up this image. "Shells and tiny crabs crawl on the yellowed sand, foamy waves lap against it in wave after wave, friends chase and play in the water, couples stroll hand in hand, and at that very moment, the sun hangs cautiously on the horizon..." That midnight in Qingdao, after dropping off my luggage at the hotel, I immediately took a taxi to the beach. At 20, I saw the ocean for the first time.

The sea breeze was salty, and the sound of waves crashing on the beach was like endless white noise. Perhaps because it was late at night, the beach was dimly lit only by the lights of a few closed shops along the shore. Only a few people were strolling. I took off my shoes and socks and walked slowly towards the waves. Spring in the north is still coming too late, or perhaps it's because the sea temperature always rises slowly, as I learned in geography class. Even though it was May, the water above my ankles still chilled me to the bone.

What would he be doing? He'd probably be enjoying hot pot and joking with everyone under the twinkling lights of BJ's, or singing Eason songs soulfully at a karaoke bar. He might also be discussing my unsociability, or my madness, for skipping a gathering with longtime friends and taking a day-long train trip alone. Would he ever be disappointed I didn't show up, or would he feel the urge to contact me?
The sea surface looks pitch black at first glance, and the water and the sky are deeply blended into one and the boundary between them is indistinguishable. I think I shouldn't like you anymore, but I have liked you so much for so many years.

(End of this chapter)