Wei Xiaobao's Three Kingdoms Adventure

Chapter 33 You Are Not a Eunuch

Although Wei Xiaobao was also a scoundrel from the lower classes, he had been with Kangxi for so many years that he was much more familiar with the royal taboos and rules than He Jin. Upon hearing He Jin barge in, he cursed at the top of his lungs, "Who is so bold as to trespass into the Queen's chamber?"

How could Empress He let Wei Xiaobao's conspiracy succeed? She asked for help, but as soon as she said the word "brother", her mouth was blocked by someone.

Wei Xiaobao grabbed Empress He's hand with one hand and held a dagger against her heart with the other. Seeing that Empress He wanted to speak, he opened his mouth and blocked her mouth without thinking.

He Jin was worried about his sister, so he kicked the door and rushed in in a hurry. However, the scene before him embarrassed him. After hearing Wei Xiaobao's scolding, he regretted his rash behavior. Fortunately, he was tall and strong, and he was blocking the door, so the palace maids outside did not discover his sister's dirty deeds.

Just when He Jin was in a dilemma, he heard his sister's "hmmmm" sounds from under the quilt. He hurried out and closed the door tightly. He said to the palace maid, "Since the queen is not feeling well, I will wait here. You can go down first."

He Jin spoke in a loud voice. Although he was giving orders to the palace maid, he was deliberately speaking for the people in the room to hear.

When Wei Xiaobao heard the sound of He Jin closing the door, he was about to open his mouth to scare Queen He again, but he found that his tongue and lips were sucked by a force.

Wei Xiaobao cursed in his heart, "You stinking bitch! Your husband isn't even buried yet, and you're already trying to seduce men and take advantage of me! Damn it! Are you trying to set a honey trap for me so He Jin out there has a chance to make his move?"

Wei Xiaobao thought of this, raised his dagger, clenched his fist, and pushed Queen He away with all his strength, saying, "Damn it! Now is not the time to do this. He Jin's head is about to be chopped off."

Empress He was also ignited by Wei Xiaobao's mouth. She was already a little embarrassed when he pushed her away. When she heard that someone wanted to harm her elder brother, her face suddenly became gloomy and she was surprised.

Wei Xiaobao was worried that Empress He would scream, so he continued, "Don't you just want your son to be the emperor? Not only will I spare your life, I'll also make it happen for you. If you die, what's the point of your son becoming the emperor? He might even lose his own life!"

Although Empress He didn't say anything else, she slowly loosened her grip on Wei Xiaobao.

Wei Xiaobao continued, "Don't worry, I'm not Empress Dowager Dong's man, and I can help you deal with her."

Wei Xiaobao couldn't play the royal game of power struggle, but he understood human nature. After all, if you want to survive in places like brothels and palaces where people's hearts are the most complicated, knowing what others want and fear most is a real skill.

Wei Xiaobao continued, "Do you also know that the old emperor wants Liu Xie to succeed him?"

Queen He nodded.

Wei Xiaobao continued, "You let your elder brother enter the palace just to ensure that your son becomes the emperor?"

Empress He stared at Wei Xiaobao with wide eyes, without any movement or expression.

Wei Xiaobao said, "I know this even if you don't tell me. I also know that Zhang Ran has accepted bribes from Queen Mother Dong and has now sided with her. Queen Mother Dong is now the banker and has even got the top card."

Empress He didn't understand what Wei Xiaobao said and looked at him with a frown.

Wei Xiaobao thought to himself, "The Queen of this palace definitely doesn't understand Pai Gow. I've been explaining it to her for so long, but it's all in vain."

Wei Xiaobao said, "It's impossible to win now, unless we flip the table. Once the table is flipped, the dealer's cards will no longer count, and everyone will have to reshuffle and start over. Now, if you don't acknowledge that the old emperor wants Liu Xie to succeed him, you'll be flipping the table over, making the cards in her hand no longer count. To start over, you have to be the banker. If you want to be the banker, you have to bribe Zhang Rang, who originally stood on the side of the Queen Mother Dong! Do you understand now?" Empress He nodded, and like Wei Xiaobao, she lowered her voice and said, "Zhang Rang and others are the Queen Mother Dong's confidants. How can we bribe them?"

Wei Xiaobao had long known that Zhang Rang and his gang were plotting to sell Jian Shuo out to He Jin, so he deliberately kept it a secret, saying, "They are all eunuchs. I am one too, so of course I know what they want most. Bribing them is a piece of cake. As long as you promise the general that after the new emperor ascends the throne, you will let them continue their work and that the past affairs will not be investigated. I guarantee that they will all be obedient. After all, I have done this before."

Wei Xiaobao recalled that when he first went to the Shenlong Sect, he encountered a rebellion by Hong Antong's men. In the end, the sect leader and his wife agreed to let bygones be bygones, thus calming the situation.

Empress He suddenly stretched out her hand and twisted Wei Xiaobao's hips, saying, "You are not a eunuch. Who are you and why are you helping me?"

Wei Xiaobao cursed in his heart, "Damn it! When I get the imperial seal, I'll take you back to Yangzhou with me and sell you to Lichunyuan, where you'll sleep with men every day."

Wei Xiaobao said, "I've already said that I'm here for the Imperial Seal. But don't worry, I'm just borrowing it for a while and will return it to you after I'm done. I won't let your son become a fake emperor without the Imperial Seal."

Empress He asked, "Can you really convince Zhang Rang and the other eunuchs?"

Wei Xiaobao thought to himself, "Do I even need to convince them? He Jin has already entered the palace, and Zhang Ranrang must have received the news. I'm afraid if I lie with you for a while longer, Zhang Ranrang will come to your bedroom and kowtow and beg for help."

Wei Xiaobao said, "As long as you promise to lend me the jade seal after the task is completed, I will go find Zhang Rang right away."

Empress He asked, "What do you want the Imperial Seal for? Are you going to forge an imperial edict? If you want to be an official at court, I'll let Bian'er grant you a position once he ascends the throne. Why would you need the Imperial Seal?"

Wei Xiaobao said, "Oh, you old woman, I've told you so much but you still don't understand. Anyway, this jade seal is very important to me. If you don't agree, then we can break up. Anyway, when Liu Xie becomes emperor, I will still find a way to get the jade seal."

Wei Xiaobao thought to himself, "Now that Zhang Jue is emperor, I don't even need to borrow money. I'm just afraid that He Jin, who's standing outside, won't let Liu Xie become emperor. If I had known you were He Jin's sister, I would have hidden in your room, cut He Jin to pieces with a knife, and then wait for Zhang Jue to become emperor. Then I wouldn't have to waste my time talking to you."

Since entering the palace, Empress He has tried every possible means to win favor. However, after Emperor Ling's death, the eunuchs in the palace flocked to Empress Dowager Dong. Although her eldest brother He Jin commanded a large army, he was still a relative of the emperor. In her helpless moment, the sudden appearance of Wei Xiaobao was undoubtedly her lifeline, not to mention that she had just been affectionate with him.

Empress He said, "If you can truly win over Zhang Rang and others and help my son ascend the throne, I will naturally fulfill my promise and lend you the imperial seal."

Wei Xiaobao had been sweating profusely under the quilt for a long time. When he heard that Empress He had finally agreed, he struggled out, straightened his clothes and said, "A gentleman's word is as good as a horse."

Wei Xiaobao walked to the window, pried it open with a dagger and climbed up. Just as he was about to jump out, he heard Queen He behind him ask, "Who are you?"

Wei Xiaobao chuckled and said, "I'm a god who has come down to earth to help you."

Empress He acted shyly and murmured, "When will you come again?"

Wei Xiaobao jumped out of the window and cursed softly, "After I sell you to Lichunyuan, I'll come and take care of your business every day!"

(End of this chapter)