Super Hero Monk: Hormones Journey to the West

Chapter 42 God Appears
"If you're not convinced, feel free to seek revenge on me later.

"Just, before you kill me, don't try to be clever and touch my people again.

"Otherwise, I will kill every household in your Cui family according to their genealogy."

After saying that, Tang Xuanci swung his sword back and hit Master Cui on the forehead, causing him to fall asleep.

At his signal, the Kunlun slaves rushed forward, put all the remaining people in the house into a baby-like sleep, and sent them back to their bedrooms.

Tang Xuanci pulled out the two short knives that Master Cui had stuck in the floor tiles, and while examining them, he said:
"Help them clean up the house, get a new bolt, and restore it to its original state. Especially the bullet, don't leave any traces."

Having said that, he looked at Ah Xuan deliberately.

Ah Xuan nodded and told him that the traces of the revolver bullets had been dealt with.

"Everything that needs to be burned is taken to the steel mill.

"Send these two knives, the sword, and the gun back to my place and have Ah Qian melt them down to see what they are made of.

"Then, the three of you should hide away and stay out of the spotlight."

Tang Xuanci took out a token and threw it to them, then took Chen Xiaoke, who was comforting his friends, and left first.

As soon as he walked out of the gate, he ran into General Cheng Chubi of the Right Jinwu Guard and Yin Silang, the Shaoyin of Jingzhao Prefecture, who had "rushed" to the scene to provide support.

These two people are almost going crazy.

Cheng Chubi, dressed in plain clothes and wearing a large hood, saw Tang Xuanci coming out from a distance and immediately rushed forward and said:
"What's going on, Master Tang? That Cui is from the main branch of the Cui family in Boling, and he's also the future imperial consort. You didn't do anything to him, did you?"

Tang Xuanci said:

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing.

"He didn't die, he just got slapped thirty times.

"Tell your people to give it some more time. Adai and the others will use carriages to take over forty bodies for cremation. Just pretend you don't know. Report as you should tomorrow."

Ah this?

Thirty slaps in the face? Forty corpses?... Is this what you call knowing your limits?
Cheng Chubi's head was buzzing.

His mother was from the Qinghe Cui family, which was also one of the seven major surnames.

Therefore, he was very aware of how complex and deep-rooted the relationships between these thousand-year-old families were in the court.

He could fully foresee the scene tomorrow where the court would be in an uproar and all civil and military officials would impeach Xuanci together.

"Tang Lang... this evening's matter is of great importance. How about coming back with me to discuss this with your grandfather?"

Yin Silang asked with sweat dripping down his face.

Facing this nephew who had once beaten him up, he no longer held any resentment.

If Tang Xuanci had not gained power in the court and created so many ways to make money, the Yin family, which had already begun to decline, would not have been able to reach its current peak, and he would never have been able to sit in the position of Shao Yin.

Even his mother, the Second Wife, was very fond of Xuanci. She asked around for folk remedies, wishing to cure the hidden disease immediately so that she could introduce a girl from her family to her precious grandson as a concubine.

It can be said that Tang Xuanci is now the pillar of the Yin family. If it suddenly collapses because of what happened tonight, they really can't bear it.

"What's there to discuss? This has nothing to do with you. Just pretend you don't know. Also, don't call me a mantis. It makes me sound like a bug."

Tang Xuanci was too lazy to talk nonsense with them, so he took Chen Xiaoke through a small path to the bottom of the wall and climbed out directly.

The moon grew darker and the wind grew stronger.

The lanterns on the street creaked, casting shadows of two people, one large and one small, that kept swaying.

"Just one."

Chen Xiaoke lit a cigarette, took a puff, and then put it in Ge Ge's mouth for him to smoke.

Tang Xuanci blew out smoke from his nose, frowned, and asked:
"What the hell are you doing here so late at night? Didn't I tell you not to run around? If you get kidnapped by Fahai one day, I'll definitely not take care of you."

Chen Xiaoke puffed up his cheeks and acted cute, groping around the bulge and soon pulled out a purple thing, which flashed before his eyes like a treasure.

"I went to Tongxuan Temple to buy it~ Oh no, I begged for it. The guy didn't come back until very late, so I just hung out with my friends in the market and planned to go back tomorrow."

Tang Xuanci took it and discovered it was a piece of talisman paper with red and blue inscriptions painted on both sides. He didn't know what material it was made of, but at first glance, it felt like something extraordinary, something high-end and mysterious.

"Tongxuan Temple? Is that person Lei Yizi, the one with long hair and who likes to show off?"

"No, her name is Xuanjizi, and she's a female Taoist nun."

"What is this thing used for?"

"She said, using this can make you that~"

Chen Xiaoke bit her lip:

"This talisman is very valuable, one costs twenty taels of gold.

“I thought it might be useful, so I scraped together some money and asked for one.

"Why don't you give it a try later? She still has nineteen. If they really work, I'll get them all tomorrow and ask her how she did it."

When Tang Xuanci heard this, he immediately smelled a conspiracy and felt that even if this thing really worked, it would only be a temporary solution and not a fundamental solution.

Most of the people in the Taoist sect just want to prove that they have the ability to lift the seal of Buddhism.

However, he was still very happy.

After all, as a real man, who can endure this kind of double torture, both physical and psychological?

Eighteen and a half years. Even if you subtract the two and a half years of growth period after birth, it is still a full sixteen years.

It is difficult for others to know how he spent these sixteen years!

Now I finally see a slightly more reliable treatment plan. Even if it only treats the symptoms and not the root cause, it is far better than nothing!
He decided.

If it really works, he will immediately let Cuimei Dad hold a super party, invite literati and dignitaries to watch on the spot, and then show his prowess and publicly refute the rumors.

If anyone still doesn't believe it, they can only go to his house and prove it to his mother.

Tang Xuanci held Chen Xiaoke's face and planted a strawberry, and said excitedly:

"Let's go back and try it. If it really works, you'll be the first to enjoy it as a reward!"

"Okay!"

Chen Xiaoke was immediately overjoyed, and took his hand and ran towards Pingkangfang.

Tang Xuanci still thought she was too slow, so he carried her on his shoulders and ran back to his private residence on the north side of Heijinhan in an instant, like a photographer following a cheetah.

"Hey, how do you use this thing?"

Xuan Ci suddenly thought of a key point:

"I heard that those talismans that are truly effective must be activated by someone who understands Taoism using spiritual consciousness. Do I need to take them to a Taoist priest?"

"No need." Chen Xiaoke said, "The Taoist nun said that it is activated by fire and dissolves when it comes into contact with water. Then, you just need to drink the talisman water that is produced."

"Okay, then you do it."

"Gege, how about...I go wash myself first?"

"What are you doing washing hair? I don't even know if it works. Let's try it quickly."

"Okay, I'll get a bowl of water."

"Hey, isn't it almost four quarters past midnight? Let's go up to the terrace on the second floor."

Thinking of the fact that the whole sky would sparkle for him, Tang Xuanci led Chen Xiaoke up to the second floor, where they could enjoy the large terrace with a garden view. They sat on the soft couch under the eaves and poured a cup of cold water in a teacup.

Under the illumination of the lantern above the head, the characters on the purple talisman seemed to be moving with a faint glow.

Chen Xiaoke took a deep breath nervously, blew on the fire stick, and followed the method taught by the Taoist nun to light the purple talisman from one corner.

With a "clang" sound, green flames rose up instantly, wrapping the entire talisman paper and burning the inscriptions, making them glow brightly.

"Oh~" Chen Xiaoke was so scared that she almost let go, but soon she said in surprise: "This fire is not hot at all."

Tang Xuanci reached out and touched it, and felt that it was indeed so. He also found that although the purple talisman paper was burning, there was no sign of it turning into ashes.

Chen Xiaoke counted silently for forty-nine seconds and poked the fire talisman into the teacup filled with water.

Then there was a soft "puff" sound, and the flame not only did not go out, but it seemed to have ignited the water in the cup as well.

This reminded Tang Xuanci of the "B52 bomber" in the bar on his home planet, and he thought, wow, does this require a straw to be inserted down there to suck?
However, the green flame quickly disappeared, as if it had merged into the water along with the purple talisman, causing the water to also emit a green halo.

Tang Xuanci picked it up cautiously, smelled it first, then tasted it, and after the beaker-GPT was sure that this thing would not poison him and could be metabolized, he drank it all in one gulp with full anticipation.

It's warm and smooth when you take it in, and the effect... is immediate.

"Fuck, Xiaoke, look, this thing really works."

That's it~
It's hard to say how he feels right now.

It’s a bit like a patient with spinal injury and hemiplegia, who uses a brain-computer interface to directly connect signals in the brain to the leg nerves, thus restoring the ability to walk.

I can indeed walk again and have feeling in my legs, but the paralysis is not cured at all, and it certainly doesn't feel very good.

He knew without trying that this method could only solve the problem of appearance, but not the problem of substance.

But it’s good to be able to save face!
In a fit of excitement, he let out a long roar towards the sky, grabbed the smiling Chen Xiaoke and threw him ten meters high.

At this moment, a flash of lightning streaked across the night sky, like a thousand-foot-long silver snake, swimming among the dark clouds.

Tang Xuanci caught the little girl, looked up at the sky with her, and murmured, "It's coming, it's really coming."

The rumbling sound resounded throughout the world~
Two more lightning bolts crossed each other, instantly illuminating the entire Chang'an City.

Then, the third, fourth, fifth, sixty, seventh, eighth, ninety, tenth... hundreds and thousands of them appeared one after another.

The whole sky began to twinkle.

Those who were still awake were shocked by the scene outside, and those whose sleep quality was worse than that of a baby were also awakened by the loud rumbling noise.

I don't know who was the first to exclaim:
"Snow! It's actually snowing! Snow in June!"

Soon, most of the people in Chang'an City ran to the windows and doors, facing the strange phenomenon of heaven and earth, and were amazed at what they thought was a divine act.

Cheng Chubi and Yin Silang were still cleaning up the mess at Cui's house.

I don’t know if it was because of the previous gunshots or someone leaked the news, but high-ranking officials living in other districts had already violated the curfew and rushed here, angrily denouncing Tang Xuanci’s insane atrocities.

Cheng Chubi and Yin Silang had just breathed a sigh of relief that they had not run into any bandits, but when they saw the sky full of silver snakes and heavy snow, they were stunned, thinking, "No way?"
Thunderstrike? Snow in June?
Could it be that God couldn't stand it anymore and came after Tang Lang?

Sure enough, the next second they heard the Cui officials shouting loudly, saying that this was a manifestation of God.

It seems that this matter will definitely be included in the memorial to impeach my younger brother tomorrow.

The other end.

Li Xian had just returned to her private residence, filled with worry. Seeing this strange sight, she was extremely surprised and immediately remembered what her husband had said before.

Hearing that he had returned, he went straight to the viewing terrace to look for him.

As a result, she saw a scene that was even more shocking than the strange phenomenon of heaven and earth, that is, a pair of compelling... perfect couples were in the strange phenomenon of heaven and earth.

She felt that this was totally outrageous and thought to herself, my goodness, I was worried about the trouble they had caused until half the night, but they were so lucky.

"Ha~" She laughed out of anger and said unhappily, "I came at the wrong time!"

Just as he was about to turn around and leave, he saw Tang Xuanci smiling wildly and said:

"No, you came just in time."

(End of this chapter)