Artifact Report

2025 themed lair, network version, suitable for IOS, Android, Steam and other major platforms
(I've been revisiting my childhood game Theme Hospital these past couple of days. It's both nostalgic and fun, so the thank you stamps I originally planned to distribute on social media accounts were temporarily replaced with the Theme Lair game.)
(This chapter is for the thank yous from the period from December 12.28th to January 1.11th. My speed in writing thank you chapters is always behind the times and I can’t catch up with the timeline.)
"Welcome prprprQBB to the themed nest game!"

"Welcome Huabian, Yiyufeng, Messenger AtRnoname, Changgaogaoyu, Kuigua, Qiwu, and Tiejia Baitang to the theme nest game!"
-
New Game--
Reading progress——
Teaching level——
quit-
"Select, new game"

"Select, role type"
-
Hunter (Advanced Difficulty)——
Residents (Beginner Difficulty)——
Unclassifiable creatures (beginner difficulty)——
Unable to classify non-living things (intermediate difficulty) --
Artifacts (Intermediate Difficulty)——
Ordinary people who accidentally fell into the nest (ultimate hell-level perverted spicy difficulty) -
"Select, Randomly Assign"

prprprQBB: Oh my god, what is this place? Didn't I just fall down the stairs? How did I end up here?

Dream Screenwriter: Hello.

prprprQBB (looks at its blank face): Ahh ...
prprprQBB took a step forward and reached out to grab the dream screenwriter's face.

The messenger AtRnoname slowly slid down the telephone pole.

Messenger AtRnoname (raising a face to the night): I wouldn't touch it if I were you.

prprprQBB: Ahhhhh——who the hell are you! No, I'd better get out of here quickly. It's not suitable to stay here for long.

[The above ordinary person's mission is confirmed, escape.]

Messenger AtRnoname: I'm so sad. I'm one of the few residents with ulterior motives but a kind heart. But your suspicion of me has led to my dark side. Well, let me turn QBB into BBQ.

Yiyufeng followed silently. This was a relatively rare resident character, adept at blending into the environment and following, creating a "final encounter" when the time was right for a decisive blow.

The frame floated in the air, observing the nesting ground, searching for an opportunity. As an unclassifiable non-biological character, it was quite limited and could only spread and wait.

[The above three residents/unclassifiable non-living things have been assigned a task, and a Saturday BBQ is being held. prprprQBB is invited to take to the grill.]

“Welcome EmrysLCF, non-edible kitty gummy candies, to the themed den game!”

Qi Wu: Humph.

Tiejia Baitang: What's wrong?
Qi Wu: A competitor has arrived. It's Oreo's new product—a newly recruited hunter, a non-edible kitty gummy. We have to be careful not to let her find the artifact first.

Tiejia Baitang: Oh, you're really well-informed. But that artifact... what's it called, the tall fish? Where is it, exactly? It's hidden so deep. Could it be underwater?

Qi Wu: Don't worry. I have an old acquaintance who's a resident, but he's a nice guy—well, by resident standards. You can ask him about the situation.

[The above three hunters' mission is confirmed: find the false image and grow tall fish]

[The above pseudo-image mission is established, don’t be found]

"Welcome Hu Miaomiao's owner, Caoshang Riyue, to the theme nest game!"

Sun and Moon on the Grass: Hello, Qi Wu. How's things going in Blackmore City? Being eaten—I mean, have you eaten yet? If not, don't hesitate. I've got a cup of Daydream without sugar. Have a drink. Any questions, wait until you finish your drink.

Tiejia Baitang: Wait a minute, do you really want to drink?
Qi Wu hesitated for a while, and finally gulped down a whole cup of Daydream without sugar.

Cao Shang Ri Yue: How righteous! Now, I can respond to your criticism—I mean, I can answer your questions.

Qi Wu: Where are the tall fish?
Sun and Moon on the Grass: In the place where it is least likely to appear and where it should least exist.

Tiejia Baitang: What a piece of crap, it’s really unreliable.

Sun and Moon on the Grass: I'm not angry. Not only am I not angry, I'm also showing you the way. You go find someone named Kuigua... well, an unclassifiable creature called Kuigua. Find it, and you'll close the distance to your target artifact, the tall fish.

Meanwhile, Emrys LCF, a lone ranger without a family, was using her years of experience as a hunter to try to extract information from the lair. She had already scouted the area and done her research. She pulled out a cat costume, put it on, and sat on the side of the road, her hind legs curled up, quietly waiting.

EmrysLCF: Meow.

Hu Miaomiao's owner: Miaomiao! Is that you? Why are you here? Mom is so worried. How dare you run around in the nest? Aren't you afraid of encountering hunters? Who knows how those humans will treat you? Come home with me!
It is said that there is a door in Hu Miaomiao's owner's house that connects to a so-called doomsday universe. EmrysLCF plans to sneak in and find out what's going on.

[The above hunter mission is established, explore the residents' houses]

[The above resident’s task is to find the real cat] prprprQBB: What, what is this place? Help, is there anyone?
Fugitive excavator from Shandong: Hi.

After screaming, prprprQBB calmed down: You, what are you?
Shandong fugitive excavator: As you can see, I am a Shandong fugitive excavator.

prprprQBB: What?
A fugitive excavator from Shandong: "I belong to the category of unclassifiable inanimate objects. My mission is simple: not only do I remain on the run, but I also help those in need escape."

Yiyufeng spat in anger, because he liked to meet people who were alone. He looked up and thought of a way.

After receiving the message, Huabianbian floated towards the direction indicated by Yiyufeng. It slowly expanded and spread itself, blending into the atmosphere of the nest, and quietly followed prprprQBB.

Kuigua: Who’s coming?
Qi Wu: We're here looking for sunflowers. Do you know them?

Kuigua: Oh, of course I know it. Go a little further and you’ll find the bright red one.

Tiejia Baitang: Hello. Are you Kuigua?

Ishgard Red Doll Tomato: I am. What do you want from me?

Just as the hunter began to chat eagerly with the unclassifiable creature, the framer was finally ready to take action.

It dispersed the particles of its body, completely clearing the middle, and the particles formed an encirclement line on all sides; it aimed at the small figure on the ground and pressed down on the ground in one breath - in a flash, a frame was drawn on the ground, just surrounding the target.

Non-Edible Kitten Gummy: What's going on? Help! Why am I locked up?
Yiyufeng: Oops, I framed the wrong person! Well, but... this way, the person drawing the frame can't compete with me, and I can continue tracking.

Shandong excavator on the run: They attacked you, but they caught the wrong guy! Let's start running away quickly!

prprprQBB's heart was pounding and he ran forward with it panting.

In the back, the trapped, inedible kitten, Gummy, yells, "Who did this? Let me out!"

Hu Miaomiao's owner: Huh? There seems to be a cat here. Is it a cat? This is so strange. I saw three Miaomiaos in a row, but none of them look like Miaomiao...

EmrysLCF: Three? How come three—I mean, meow?

Hu Miaomiao's owner: I actually understood what you mean by meow, how amazing! Here's the thing: before I met you, I caught a cat cloud.

While it was trying to figure out who was the real cat, the red-clad Ishgardian puppet Tomato tripped up two hunters, and Sunflower quietly left and disappeared into the night.

Kuigua: Are you ready?

Du Ziruo, Xiwei Youye: We are ready.

Sunflower: Three, two, one, go.

Du Ziruo and Xi Wei Youye: Help! Some residents are chasing us. It's so scary.

Kuigua: Stop, let me eat you. Didn’t I order the takeaway? How dare you run away?
Du Ziruo and Xi Wei Youye: Don’t look back, it’s so scary, run... Hey, little girl, are you running for your life too?
prprprQBB: What a coincidence, you guys too?
Du Ziruo and Xi Wei Youye: Yes, let's escape together. Let's escape together. We'll lead the way.

A group of four people (let's call them people for now) fled desperately together; but suddenly, cast iron rods rose from the ground one after another, causing prprprQBB to trip.

The illusion of tall fish tumbling down from her.

prprprQBB: What is this?
Messenger AtRnoname: Hahahaha, welcome to my grill! I've been waiting for you!
-
Game Pause-
The dream screenwriter sighed, took off his glasses and wiped them.

"Alas, I'm clearly an NPC, but not a single sponsored player has come to talk to me. Forget it, let them continue playing on their own. It's Saturday anyway, so I'll take a break."

　I've finally finished writing the thanks chapter! Anyway, it's Saturday today, so I'll take a break.

　　Play another level of Theme Hospital.

　　
　
(End of this chapter)