Artifact Report

Chapter 21 How Can You Tell I'm a Fake

Friends, grandmas, aliens, I don’t know whether this is a fake note or not.

Grandma, please put your shoes down first and let me explain a few words. Then I'll see if you can stop beating me like a cockroach.

I was supposed to leave yesterday, and when I looked in the morning, the weather in Shanghai was sunny. I was very happy and went to Pudong Airport happily, thinking that I could find a deserted corner to type secretly while waiting for the flight. Everything was planned well. I was willing to buy a lounge ticket just to write the update.

After all the trouble, I finally got there and took out my phone. Guess what? The flight was cancelled.

Guangdong has issued an orange alert with thunderstorms, which fully demonstrates how much it welcomes me home.

But I can't become Sang Haining, I have to go, so I applied for a flight change as soon as possible. It took me two fucking hours to change the flight. During this time, I made various phone calls and checked flight information... Two hours later, I successfully changed the flight to 9:30 pm that day - but it departed from Hongqiao Airport.

Let’s go to Hongqiao.

The Didi drivers in Shanghai all worship me like a fucking idol.

Arriving at Hongqiao Airport, I noticed an extra line on the flight information. Above "Scheduled to depart at 21:35," there was an extra line: "Expected to depart at 23:35"—how can that be called human language? Who in this competition knows so many synonyms? I was already feeling bad. After all, the Guangdong rainstorms were treating everyone equally. What could I do? I couldn't just sit at the airport and wait to see when it would take off. I decided to book a hotel.

Since I wasn't staying overnight, I could just book the cheapest one. I might just leave in a few hours, I thought naively.

So, dragging my luggage, I hailed a taxi and was dropped off in a place that looked more like a county town than Shanghai. It was incredibly close to the airport, and a giant plane rumbled past my scalp, knocking my wig off (my hair loss at 18 stems from my excessive typing). I also took some photos of the planes; it wasn't a wasted trip.

I checked in, went into the room, and then left again. What did I do? I went to buy a disposable toilet seat. The toilet seat was yellow and stained. It looked like it had been stained by old urine.

Okay, this is the cheapest hotel which costs more than 300 yuan. I am indeed in Shanghai.

Well, guess what happened next? God heard my words about not staying overnight. The second flight was delayed until 5:00 in the morning.

Even an owl can't wait this long!!! I changed my flight for the second time, to 11am this morning.

Next, I stood in the hotel room, clutching my bag, feeling trapped and dazed, realizing I was actually going to be spending the night here. If I'd known this, why hadn't I booked a better place? God damn it. I first fixed the door chain (I never did before), then lifted the covers and examined the sheets; they were okay; at least they looked white.

It was already evening by this time. I hadn't typed a single word, but I was exhausted both physically and mentally. I reached down and felt the mattress.

…Where’s my mattress?
These springs, jagged and lumpy, are they made of diamond? Don't springs usually have cushions? Where's the cushion?! I can feel the pulse of the springs through the sheets, but where's my cushion?!?!?!
I felt like crying. Guess how I slept that night? I rearranged the quilt and used it as a cushion. Lying on it, it felt like I was lying on the sidewalk.

I pulled out a section of the quilt and wrapped myself up from the side, making myself into a sandwich. This way, I had both a mattress and a quilt, making it possible to use two things in one, and then I could sleep...

I've only typed 300 words so far, but I'm exhausted and fall asleep a little after 9:00. Going to bed too early is disrespectful to the neighbors next door.

So around ten o'clock, I heard it. You might think that there are only a few kinds of noises in a hotel, but you're wrong.

I heard the clacking of high heels in the corridor, walking around at least twenty times (there was no carpet), and then the door closed and someone came into the house with a bang. Then someone started moving furniture.

I was half asleep, and I was thinking in my dreams, how did you move the furniture? The hotel tables and beds are all fixed, so what on earth is that heavy furniture rubbing on the ground???
And why did it take half an hour to move?! Is it for hotel renovation?

What are the people living here for?
Anyway, my night is over. After posting this update, I have to pack my bags again and head to the airport. I'm exhausted, tired, and I doubt I'll smell (I can't even shower here)... I'm expected to land around 2:00 PM. If I can land on time, I might have an update tonight. If there's any more delays, I'm going to jump into the Huangpu River.

I've been through so much this trip to Shanghai. Do you think I'll be done when I go back?
No, the work is not done yet. We have to come back on the 8th after the holiday.

That’s great. I’m here to train my mind and experience life.

(End of this chapter)