Notes on Longevity

Chapter 189 The past is gone, and it's hard to distinguish between reality and illusion.
Moonlight scattered across the ground, and the withered forest was silent, devoid of any life.

Zhou Yanliu didn't know why he suddenly recalled these things, but because of this, his unease grew stronger, and he didn't even notice when the revolving lantern in his hand went out.

The gnarled and decaying forest awaits the arrival of spring, and he also prays in his heart that his grandfather will be alright.

"No, that's not right." He suddenly stopped and looked at the endless mountain path in the distance. He muttered to himself, "Why do I feel like I've been here before?"

He looked back at the path he had come from, the bright lights below contrasting sharply with the darkness above. He remembered that when he was a child, the first time he climbed the mountain alone, it was just like this.

The familiar mountain path, the land still fresh in his memory, he turned around with a heart full of doubts and looked at the end of the mountain path again, as if that towering tree was not far away.

This shared feeling made him feel suddenly unfamiliar.

A road he always walked suddenly felt unfamiliar, and his memories became hazy. Two events, separated by years, felt strangely familiar. He was puzzled.

Suddenly, he remembered the day when he was a child, he secretly followed his grandfather and others up the mountain to worship the mountain god. The bright sunlight was so dazzling that he had to cover his eyes with his hands.

The footsteps passed by his ears, and when he lowered his hand, he saw the child walking past him.

The sight of the thin, frail figure made him feel somewhat dazed, as if everything before him was unreal, like a dream.

He followed his childhood self and quietly circled around from the other side of the mountain to stand in front of them. Leaning against the ancient tree, he listened to the village chief and the dark-faced man's words, feeling a deep sense of loss.

Then, his younger self grabbed his hand, pointed to his grandfather behind the ancient tree, and said, "Brother, look."

He looked at his childhood self and felt a little strange. He remembered that he was very scared after hearing what his grandfather and the others said. He wanted to run away but was caught by the mountain god. Why was he holding him back?
He couldn't understand it, but he still looked in the direction the man was pointing.

As day turns to night, the childhood self disappears, and everything before my eyes—the verdant mountains and forests—is restored to their original state with a swift and decisive recovery, except for that ancient tree, which remains vibrant with life.

He stood in the spot where he had been as a child, staring in the direction his finger was pointing, and a feeling as if the world was collapsing washed over him.

"grandfather."

He cried out in grief as he ran toward the ancient tree.

A wind blew up on the mountaintop, and the bright moon in the sky was half-hidden by dark clouds. The countless stars rushed towards the mountain like a sudden downpour.

They streaked across the sky above the mountaintop, illuminating the withered forest for a moment. Zhou Yanliu's sorrowful expression was rendered deathly pale by the light. He looked at his grandfather, who lay collapsed on the edge of the ancient tree's shade, and his world crumbled. He knelt before his grandfather, tears streaming down his face, and reached out to grasp his grandfather's still cold, rough hands.

He called out to his grandfather, trying to wake him up, but his hands were already ice-cold, and even being in his grandfather's arms couldn't warm them up.

The cries echoed through the mountains and forests, startling the foxes, mountain beasts, and birds that had been waking up from their slumber.

In the desolate forest, he didn't know how long he had cried; he only felt that his eyes hurt and were blurry, making it impossible for him to see clearly.

He walked there like a zombie, clinging to a fact he couldn't believe but couldn't change.

He regretted it.
He regretted his past and his present. If he had listened and not run around back then, none of this would have happened, and his grandfather wouldn't have left after coming up the mountain to look for him.

He asked himself the question, but couldn't find the answer.

He wanted to cry, but he couldn't.

He regretted it, but it was too late.

He seemed to understand why he had suddenly remembered his past. Was this a hint from heaven?

Time always slips away quietly, and the years never turn back. What's past is past. People are gone, never to return, so why dwell on it or suffer? This is life, separation, death, and parting.

The mountain god's voice suddenly rang out above him, but he turned his head stiffly like a puppet, looking sadly at the tree face that was also frowning.

"Grandpa Mountain God, did you already know Grandpa would die, and that's why you're telling me all this?" Zhou Yanliu seemed to have finally understood. He stood up to face the Mountain God and continued, "You know, what the schoolteacher said is true, but it's not my own experience. It's because I haven't experienced it that I don't understand. But now, I don't want to understand. Can you help me bring Grandpa back?"

Zhou Yanliu's voice choked with sobs. A brief sob made him want to speak and beg Him, but the words were on the tip of his tongue and he could not speak. His distorted face and sorrow were shocking.

The mountain god sighed, "It's not that I knew all along, but that it was bound to happen."

"You must know that if one could live a long and fulfilling life, that would be wonderful. But the world is constantly changing. A flower or a blade of grass may be growing beautifully, but people walking on it may trample over it and pluck a petal as they pass by. They may be happy and beautiful, but the grass itself has already died. Grass will wither, flowers will fade, and so will people."

"Life and death are predetermined, but they can change unpredictably. There is a time for birth, but no one knows when death will come. Just like someone born in a chaotic world, their life is as fragile as grass and can be destroyed at any time; or someone living in a prosperous world, working hard and studying diligently, but accidents can still happen to them."

"To live a hundred years is a blessing if one achieves sixty percent of it. It is rare to live to seventy, and to live beyond that is even more difficult."

"I am a demon, but also a mountain god. In my youth, I experienced life and death like an ordinary person, but now I am not in control of my own destiny."

Zhou Yanliu listened silently to the mountain god's heartfelt words. He looked back at his grandfather's body and understood what was happening, but the sadness still wouldn't subside.

"If you couldn't control your own destiny, then was Grandpa's departure also beyond his control?"

Zhou Yanliu asked this question.

"As long as you are alive, there will always be times when you are not in control of your own destiny. For example, the separation of life and death. No matter who you are, you always hope that your closest relatives are by your side, your most beloved are in front of you, and your best friends are always around you."

"But the world always seems to love watching dramas of life and death. People suffer the pain of unrequited love and the pain of losing loved ones."

"So, sadness is inevitable."

Zhou Yanliu understood, but he didn't want to understand. He would rather never understand these things than have his grandfather abandon him. He knelt on the ground and kowtowed to the mountain god, pleading, "Grandpa Mountain God, please save my grandfather."

The mountain god replied, "I cannot save him."

Zhou Yanliu sobbed, his brows furrowed in confusion: "Why? Aren't you omnipotent? How could you not save Grandpa?"

"Life and death are determined by Heaven, and are the laws of nature. Although I may call myself a mountain god before you, I am but a minor demon before the Way of Heaven, powerless to ascend to the heavens."

Zhou Yanliu's head finally slammed hard against the mountainside, the dull thud deeply saddening the mountain god. He said, "Take life and death in stride, for separation will be followed by reunion. I hope you truly understand."

The mountain god withdrew his tree face, and silence once again enveloped the forest. The withered trees gleamed with a cold light under the waning moon. He looked at his grandfather's sleeping body, its destination unknown.

He sat down again, looked at his grandfather, then looked up at the moon, and said sadly, "Grandpa, I'm so sad."

“A few days ago, I received a letter from my parents. They said they wanted to take me away from this mountain forest to do silk business with them, and they also said they had arranged a marriage for me in a certain place. But the letter also said that you didn't want to leave this place, that they knew you wanted to live out your days in the place where your ancestors had lived, and that they wouldn't stop you from leaving. The letter also said that your attachment to the past and reluctance to leave wasn't entirely because of that, but because the mountains and rivers were vast, and it would be difficult to return to your roots in the future.” “Even if a person is in a very far place, they don't want to die far from home, but rather return to their roots.”

“Although I am still young, I know that fallen leaves return to their roots. So, I secretly threw the letter away on the way I went to pick up some of Master Ping’an’s friends that day. I buried it under the tree roots, in the soil, so that it could also return to its roots.”

“I don’t want to leave, and I especially don’t want to leave Grandpa. My parents are very good; they send many things back home every year through intermediaries. I have different new clothes to wear every year, but those are not what I want.”

“The uncles and elders in the village all told me that my parents were very capable. They not only left the mountains, but also made a fortune in business, which made them very envious.”

“My peers in the village all said they envied me for having good parents and receiving many novelties every year, but I didn’t like them. In the end, I gave them all away.”

“I like the black-faced guy. He’s fun and keeps me company. I often ask them to tell me stories about my parents when they were still in the village. It’s a bit boring, but I really enjoy it.”

“I can see their shadow in his dark-faced words; whenever he talks about his parents, I can see them.”

"Grandpa, do you remember that time you went to the village chief to borrow something, but were chased and bitten by a little dog from my second uncle's house? I remember your face turned white at that time, and in the end, you said that your black face arrived in time and beat up that fierce and vicious little dog."

He spoke, laughing through his tears.

He remembered laughing for a long time at his grandfather's disheveled appearance that day, which resulted in his grandfather, in a fit of rage, also giving him a beating.

He looked sad.

He tried to tell some embarrassing stories about his grandfather, hoping that his grandfather would hear him and then chase him all over the yard and beat him, just like before.

Zhou Yanliu lowered his head and sighed. He couldn't get a response from his grandfather, and he didn't know where to start or what to say.

Night fell, and the village at the foot of the mountain went dark.

It's as if no one remembers that Grandpa and he are still on the mountain.

He sighed, turning his gaze from the foot of the mountain back up. But Grandpa was gone.

"Grandpa!" Zhou Yanliu anxiously stood up and shouted as he watched his grandfather disappear, but received no response.

How could this be?
Where is Grandpa?
He panicked and searched frantically all over the mountaintop, but could not find any trace of his grandfather.

"grandfather!"

Still no response.

Oh, right, Grandpa Mountain God.

In his panic, he remembered that the mountain god was still there, so he kowtowed to the mountain god and cried out, "Grandpa Mountain God, where did you go?"

There was no response. He thought perhaps the mountain god was asleep, so he called out several more times, but still received no reply.

How could this be?
why?
He looked at the mountain god in confusion, slowly backing away. He couldn't understand why his grandfather had disappeared, and the mountain god didn't answer him.

why?
"Liu'er, why are you still here?" Just as he was puzzled and extremely anxious, a familiar voice rang out behind him.

"Grandpa?" He turned around abruptly in disbelief, only to see his grandfather standing unharmed behind him, smiling wickedly at him.

"Grandpa!" When he saw his grandfather clearly, he rushed over and hugged him tightly.

Grandpa's body was still so thin and frail, but the warmth emanating from his chest made it hard for me to tell if it was real or not.

If the grandfather standing in front of him now is real, then what was that just now?
If this is fake, then who is the person I'm holding right now?

He didn't know. He felt the warmth emanating from his grandfather's rough hands above his head, and it felt so real. He hoped this grandfather was real.

But a chill ran through his body, and at the same time, his grandfather's voice came from behind him again: "Liu'er?"

"Grandpa?" Zhou Yanliu was extremely confused when he heard his grandfather's voice. He looked up and was startled when he saw the half-grown dead tree he was holding.

Grandpa's voice called out again. He turned around and looked at the ancient tree that had disappeared and his grandfather who had reappeared. He was a little scared and worried. He didn't know what was wrong with him. Was it a hallucination? But the warmth that he had just felt from his grandfather's chest felt very real.

"Liu'er? What are you thinking about?" Grandpa's voice was very gentle.

Zhou Yanliu frowned, looking at his grandfather with a puzzled expression, suddenly feeling a sense of unreality. He remembered that his grandfather had never been particularly gentle with him.

“You’re not Grandpa!” Zhou Yanliu suddenly said, which confused the grandfather in front of him.

So he asked, "How can I not be Grandpa? Look carefully."

His voice was still gentle, though a little hoarse, but Zhou Yanliu was certain that the person standing in front of him was not his grandfather.

"Who are you? Give me back my grandfather." Zhou Yanliu suddenly realized something: "I knew it! How could my grandfather just suddenly disappear? What kind of monster are you? Let me tell you, the Mountain God is right here. If you dare to mess around, He won't let you off the hook."

Zhou Yanliu's voice was strong and clear, as if he firmly believed that the grandfather in front of him was a monster in disguise.

"Liu'er? What's wrong?"

Grandpa's voice was still gentle. He looked at his grandson with confusion, wondering how he had suddenly become like this. He felt a pang of heartache and wanted to go over and take a look.

As Zhou Yanliu saw the monster in front of him approaching his grandfather, he nervously pointed at the "grandfather" and said fearfully, "Don't come any closer, or I'll have the mountain god deal with you."

But why would "he" listen?
As the monster drew closer, Zhou Yanliu tried to retreat but found himself unable to, as if something was blocking his way. Yet, he dared not turn back to look at the monster before him.

His tense, rapid breathing made him feel dizzy, and even the world in his eyes began to blur.

A feeling of drowsiness gradually crept up his brow. He tried to keep his eyes open in fear, but in his last blurry vision, he saw "Grandpa" standing in front of him, reaching out to him.

Now, Zhou Yanliu couldn't care less about anything else and used his last bit of strength to rush towards "Grandpa".

With a loud "bang," the bowl fell to the ground.

(End of this chapter)