Madam, don't do this!

Chapter 24: Congenital Green Hat Holy Body (5,000 words, please vote)

Toilet?

Even though Song Yan was quite smart, he couldn't react at once. Could it be that Luo Tianyang, a big and strong man, needed someone to accompany him to the toilet at night?

While he was wondering, Luo Tianyang scratched his hair in annoyance. Suddenly, a look of determination appeared on his big dark red face. His eyes narrowed, his heart hardened, and he gritted his teeth.

Then he quickly walked to a big tree, where there was a clay jar. Luo Tianyang opened the lid. Curious, Song Yan couldn't help but move closer.

Then... fuck
Song Yan really couldn't help it. His body was as nimble as a rabbit, and he quickly distanced himself from Luo Tianyang and the earthen jar.

The earthenware jar was half full of filth, probably having been fished out of the pit not long ago. The smell was so strong that I almost vomited out everything I had eaten before.

Is this guy really okay? He brought me here mysteriously just to see shit?

Luo Tianyang, however, was not at all self-conscious, and even felt a little proud: "Brother-in-law, let's fulfill our promise."

"promise?"

"I said before that if the medicine my brother-in-law gave me is really effective, I, Luo Lao San, will stand on my head and eat three pounds of shit." Luo Tianyang puffed out his chest proudly: "Although I am a rough man, I keep my word. If I say three pounds, it means three pounds."

As he spoke, Luo Tianyang picked up the earthenware jar and walked towards Song Yan: "Brother-in-law, do you want to weigh it?"

An indescribable mist could be seen around the earthen jar, which scared Song Yan so much that he quickly took a few steps back. He could vaguely see some white insects floating above it.

Are you worried about not getting enough nutrition, so you add some extra protein?
He didn't take the bet seriously at all. Who would have thought that Luo Lao San would take it seriously.

Do you really eat it?

Don’t call me Luo Lao San, just call me Luo Lao Ba.

Are you still proud?
What's there to be proud of about this shit?

For a moment, Song Yan's face twitched and he kept waving his hands: "No, no need."

Hearing this, Luo Tianyang also let out a long sigh.

It’s really nice that my brother-in-law doesn’t weigh me.

When he weighed it, he also took the weight of the earthenware jar into account. If he really peeled the skin, he would probably have to drink a lot more. Thinking of this, Luo Tianyang couldn't help feeling proud. Who said he was stupid? Isn't this quite smart?

As witty as I am.

Luo Tianyang was not aware of the many twists and turns involved in Song Yan's marriage to his wife. He only knew that the medicine in Song Yan's hand could save his elder sister. He had been very disrespectful to his brother-in-law before. If he broke his promise and angered his brother-in-law again, and refused to treat his elder sister, then he would be in trouble.

As long as I can save my elder sister, drinking feces is no big deal.

Thinking of this, Luo Tianyang couldn't help but grin and laugh foolishly.

Seeing that Luo Tianyang was about to do a handstand, Song Yan said helplessly: "Tianyang, put down that broken thing in your hand first. It was just a joke before, I never took it to heart, and you don't have to do this."

Luo Tianyang was also stubborn, shouting that he was a real man and would keep his word, and even the Three Pure Ones couldn't stop him.

"Brother-in-law, I was the only one who was rude to you before. Big sister never said a bad word about you. I just finished these three pounds today. I hope you won't hold it against a rough guy like me. Even if you do, it's okay. Just don't delay Big sister's treatment because of me."

"If you're still not satisfied, I'll stay in this toilet tonight..."

Song Yan was startled. Luo Tianyang was a little silly, but he wasn't annoying. After thinking for a moment, he said, "I know you're worried about your elder sister, but she's also my wife. Would I leave my wife alone?"

"How about this, let's change the conditions. In the future, if you do me a favor, we'll be even. How about that?" After thinking for a while, Song Yan said again.

Luo Tianyang was still a little hesitant: "But..."

"Don't you listen to your brother-in-law?"

Luo Tianyang scratched his hair and finally put down the earthenware jar. After all, the taste of this thing was really terrible. "Then do as my brother-in-law says. Just tell me what my brother-in-law wants to do. I will do it for him, no matter how hard it takes. From now on, you are my brother-in-law, Luo Tianyang. No, I am your elder brother. Luo Tianshu will have to stand aside."

His chest patted loudly, and then Luo Tianyang seemed to have thought of something, and walked over with a smile: "Brother-in-law, I'll take you to a fun place later."

Song Yan was a little disgusted: "Go change your clothes first and take a shower."

Although it was late, Song Yan was not very sleepy and thought it would be nice to go out for a walk.

Gu Banxia was already waiting at the door, perhaps because Luo Tianyang's loud voice was heard.

Nodding at Song Yan and calling him "son-in-law", Gu Banxia stood silently beside Song Yan.

She is actually a very quiet girl. Although she can be very passionate in bed, Gu Banxia is like an exquisite doll in her daily life.

The crescent moon climbed up to the top of the tree, and the ground was painted frosty white. Even Gu Banxia's profile was covered with a hazy luster. Her quiet figure was like a fairy, with only her long eyelashes trembling occasionally.

"Your bra was stolen?"

Gu Banxia subconsciously puffed out her cheeks, feeling a little aggrieved, but then she thought that Luo Yuheng was the master and she was just a maid, so she really shouldn't show such an expression.

Song Yan smiled and said, "Don't be sad. I'll give you another one later."

A smile appeared at the corner of Gu Banxia's mouth, but then she felt that it was too obvious and forced the corner of her mouth down.

"Where did you get these...girls' belongings, sir?"

Without waiting for Song Yan's answer, he continued, "Sir, it would be better if you don't study these things in the future. You are a man, and if you always study these women's things, you will be laughed at."

These were very serious words. Gu Banxia knew that this was not something a maid like her should say, but she did not want to see her son-in-law being looked down upon.

Although they had not known each other for long, she knew that her brother-in-law was a very good person.

Song Yan smiled and didn't take it to heart. He didn't really care what others thought of him. He planned to find an excuse in the next two days to do some small business to make some money. Money from women and children is the easiest to make, so he had to deal with women's things.

Gu Banxia glanced at Song Yan, and gently hooked her fingers through the black hair that was blown by the night wind by her ear. There was a hint of helplessness on her face. She could see that her son-in-law must not have listened to her words.

Although my son-in-law is young, he has a stubbornness that others cannot understand.

This is her man.

I can’t say whether I’m satisfied or disgusted with it… I don’t think I’m disgusted with it.

She had never thought about what her future husband would be like. It didn't look bad now. Being his maid and staying by his side for the rest of her life, she didn't have many other things to think about or do. It would just be an ordinary life. If everything developed as it should, in a few years, she might be promoted to a concubine. In a few decades, she would be older than him, her beauty would fade, she would be old and ugly, no longer loved, and then she would die a little lonely. Her life would be like this.

However, I eventually started to care about his affairs.

Luo Tianyang's appearance broke the silence.

He took a shower and changed his clothes, and the disgusting smell was finally gone. A carriage came out with him.

Song Yan raised his eyebrows: "Aren't you going out for a walk?"

"It's more than ten miles from here to Songzhou Prefecture. How long will it take to get there?" Luo Tianyang said as a matter of course.

Song Yan originally thought that Luo Tianyang was planning to take him to Ningping County for a walk, but he didn't expect that his brother-in-law had set his sights on Songzhou Prefecture and had lofty ideals.

Looking at the sky, Song Yan said, "It's not appropriate. It's already late."

Luo Tianyang smiled and said, "It has to be at night. There's a night market in Songzhou Prefecture on the 20th of every month. It's very lively. Don't worry, I've already asked for permission. Mother said, just remember to come back."

It's Luo Yuheng's character.

As he said that, he pushed Song Yan's shoulder and pushed him into the car.

Song Yan stretched out his hand towards Gu Banxia. Although she was a little shy, she finally placed her little hand in Song Yan's palm.

The car shook slightly, and no one noticed. A figure landed silently on the roof, and her white long skirt fluttered in the night wind.

Song Yan still underestimated the attraction of Songzhou Prefecture Night Market to the surrounding counties. After leaving the county, he could see many horse-drawn carriages on the official road, probably all heading to Songzhou Prefecture.

I think that night market mostly just had snacks, acrobatics, storytelling, fortune telling and the like, in those days when entertainment was scarce.

If he had this much free time in his previous life, he would probably have just been lying in bed playing with his phone. Ningping was very close to the provincial capital, and even though the carriage was not fast, it still took half an hour to get there.

Although they were only a dozen miles apart, the moon was high in the sky in Ningping, but a drizzle was falling in Songzhou Prefecture. However, the weather was unpredictable. The ridges on both sides of a mountain were completely different.

There are inspections when entering the city, but given the status of the Luo family, they naturally don't care about these.

The provincial capital is indeed much more lively than the county town, with big red lanterns hanging high. If you don’t know, you might think someone is getting married at night.

Gu Banxia bought an umbrella to cover the two of them, but she could no longer take care of Luo Lao San.

The streets were also bustling with people, the sound of gongs and drums, and occasionally the sound of firecrackers. There were also children running around, and the sounds of greetings, shouting, and chatting mixed together.

Song Yan enjoyed this feeling quite a bit. In his previous life, he loved visiting that snack street. Although most of the snacks were not very hygienic, it always felt noisy and lively.

Seeing Song Yan smile, Luo Tianyang also laughed out loud, somewhat foolishly. His mother was right. His brother-in-law had been imprisoned for ten years, so he naturally yearned for places like this. Originally, he had planned to go to Yi Cui Lou... Oh, no, since Yi Cui Lou was closed down, it was no longer called that name. It was now called Hong Xiu Pavilion. Although the girls were still the same girls and the pimps were still the same pimps, the owner had changed, and the signboard had also changed.

Along the way, Song Yan would ask the price at every stall he saw, but he rarely spent money on anything. This night market was the same as in his previous life, with prices on the high side.

Whenever Song Yan really wanted to buy something, Gu Banxia would take out a small purse and take out a few copper coins.

The sons, daughters, and concubines of wealthy families received a monthly allowance of silver. For example, in the Duke's Mansion, the concubine received about ten taels of silver a month, which was already quite good. In slightly less wealthy families, it might be a few dozen copper coins.

The Luo family's price was slightly higher, but not too exaggerated. However, Luo Yuheng did not restrict Song Yan's spending. He just told Gu Banxia that as long as the son-in-law liked it, he should buy it.

It's because all the sons and daughters are heartless, but only the son-in-law remembers to leave some food for her. Maybe they are having a quarrel.

Regarding Song Yan's behavior of only asking about the price and not spending much money, Gu Banxia felt that her son-in-law was still as cautious as he was in the Duke's Mansion. She tried to remind Song Yan in a roundabout way that there was no need to be so, but it was of no use.

Then I looked at Song Yan, who seemed so happy even though he just asked about the price without buying anything, and I felt even more surprised.

Perhaps because she was really worried about some vixen, Gu Banxia stayed close to Song Yan all the way. But Gu Banxia was obviously overthinking it. Although the social atmosphere in Ningguo was relatively open, there were not many women who dared to flirt with men in the street, so there were not many vixen.

There are quite a few lechers.

Gu Banxia has a plump figure and beautiful appearance, which attracted a lot of attention.

However, judging from the way the three people were dressed, it was clear that they were from a wealthy family. And with the burly Luo Tianyang, not many people dared to come up and talk to them.

After a long time, the scene suddenly became lively. Many young men gathered in front of an attic. They were wearing long robes and holding folding fans even though it was raining.

This is a style that ordinary people cannot understand.

Luo Tianyang chuckled: "Brother-in-law, we're here."

Song Yan's face looked strange. He looked up at the attic sign and his expression became even stranger. "Is this the fun place you mentioned?"

"Yes, yes, yes..."

"You big-headed ghost." Song Yan said unhappily, "Let's go back."

There is a plaque hanging on the attic with the words "Qun Yu Yuan" written on it.

This is a brothel.

According to those two old men, this is the most high-end brothel in the entire Ningguo, and its business has expanded to Songzhou!

Is it okay for a brother-in-law to take his brother-in-law to a brothel? This is not okay.

Moreover, as a son-in-law, he went to a brothel on the second day after his marriage. How could he live like this?

Originally, seeing how enthusiastic Luo Tianyang was, I was somewhat interested in the fun places he mentioned. Who would have thought that it would be such a filthy place? Although I had a yearning in my heart, I could still control myself.

At this moment, a voice came from not far away:
"Song Yan? Is that you?"

Hearing the voice, Song Yan frowned, turned around and saw three familiar faces coming into view.

Song Zhen, Song Yun, Song Lu.

The three Soong brothers.

Is this considered a case of enemies meeting on a narrow road? The person who spoke was Song Zhen. Whenever he saw Song Yan, he couldn't help but think of the humiliation he suffered in the Luo family, and his eyes turned red for a moment.

Song Yan also thought of what Luo Tianshu said, that Song Zhen was not Song Hongtao's biological son. He wondered how Song Zhen would feel if he knew that his legitimate son was actually a bastard. It was interesting to think about it.

There was a young man right in the middle of the three Song brothers, followed by four maids. The man was dressed in gorgeous clothes and looked handsome. His status seemed to be higher than the three Song brothers. He just glanced at Song Yan casually and his eyes fell on Gu Banxia.

His eyes gleamed strangely.

A mature woman in her twenties.

She has a male companion by her side, probably married.

This is good.

Song Yan didn't like the man's gaze. He frowned and asked Luo Tianyang who that person was.

Luo Tianyang took a look and curled his lips: "He is from the Fang family, his name is Fang Jun."

The Fang family is another aristocratic family.

The top dignitaries in Ningguo.

Originally, the Yang family and the Fang family were about the same, but since the Yang family split up, the Fang family's influence in Ningguo has been slightly greater than that of the Yang family.

Fortunately, I brushed up on history before getting married, otherwise I wouldn’t even know these things.

Just Fang Jun?

This name made Song Yan feel like he had heard it somewhere, but he couldn't remember where it was.

"His father is Fang Hai, the newly appointed governor of Songzhou."

The governor is considered the top official in a provincial government. Although he is restrained by officials such as the prefect and the deputy governor, his power is still enormous. But even so, the three Song brothers don't need to be so humble. They are clearly traveling together, but their attitude is full of flattery.

After all, he is the legitimate son of a duke. Doesn't he even have any dignity left?
"His grandfather is Duke of Lu, Fang De, the current Shangshu Ling."

Song Yan suddenly realized.

The eldest son of the Fang family is the descendant of a duke, so his background alone is much higher than that of the Song family. He also has a grandfather who is the Shangshu Ling. He is certainly not comparable to Song Hongtao, who only has the title of duke but no actual official position. Although Song Hongtao's younger brother Song Jincheng serves as a Shangshu in the court, Fang Jun's grandfather happens to be his immediate superior, the Shangshu Ling.

It is no wonder that the three Song brothers would flatter Fang Jun so much. Although they are all nobles, they are still divided into different levels.

"Also, his wife is the daughter of Prince Fu, Princess Gaoyang."

Song Yan's expression suddenly became strange. He had said before that the name Fang Jun was a bit strange, but he couldn't remember where he had heard it. But when he heard the word Gao Yang, some memories instantly came back to him.

Princess Gaoyang was one of the most famous women during the reign of Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty. She married Fang Jun, the son of Prime Minister Fang Xuanling. However, Princess Gaoyang looked down on Fang Jun, a man of large and strong build and honest character. Although they were married, they never slept together. Instead, she fell in love with the handsome monk Ban Ji and had an affair with him. She even made love with Ban Ji in the house while letting Fang Jun guard the door outside.

From then on, there was a saying that Princess Li Tang was very promiscuous.

As for Fang Jun, he became the eternal cuckold king because of this.

For a moment, Song Yan couldn't help but look at Fang Jun with some pity in his eyes.

You said there were so many good names for him, but he chose Fang Jun, and his wife's name is Gao Yang. He is simply a born cuckold.

There seems to be no monk like Bian Ji in this world, but I wonder who could put a green hat on Fang Jun's head.

It definitely wasn’t me, Song Yan thought.

Here is a super long chapter of 5,000 words. Thank you Xuanyuan Nue, book friend 20210301****1244, and book friend 20220406****4371 for the monthly tickets. Thank you for your support.

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(End of this chapter)