EVA: Shinji Ikari Returns from Tiga

Chapter 58 I still prefer to see you smile
"Here you go, lunch box—"

Rei Ayanami tiptoed over to Shinji Ikari, completely ignoring the thought of eavesdropping, and handed him his lunch box.

"Ah, is lunch break almost over?"

Shinji Ikari originally just wanted to go to the rooftop to get some fresh air and then go back to eat, but he was delayed for too long by Hikaru Toraki.

"I saw your lunch box still on the table. I thought you might be here, so I wanted to bring it to you. And then..."

"Then you saw Asuka leaning against the door and eavesdropping. She didn't let you in to listen a little longer, so you just stood there waiting, right?"

Rei Ayanami clapped her hands softly.

"Ikari-kun, you're amazing. A great detective."

"Rather than calling him a famous detective, it's more like the suspect's crime process is too easy to guess, don't you think, Asuka?"

Realizing that if they stayed here they would definitely be teased by Shinji Ikari throughout the lunch break, Asuka and Hikaru Toki left directly.

"I need to discuss with Hikaru how to call that idiot Suzuhara! Time for a battle meeting!"

With that said, the two of them disappeared around the corner of the corridor... Kensuke was probably buried somewhere by Asuka, and now only he and Ayanami Rei were left on the rooftop.

"It's suddenly quiet...eh?"

Then Shinji Ikari discovered that Rei Ayanami not only brought his lunch box... but also her own.

Compared to Shinji Ikari, the amount of food he received was much less than one...it was almost like cat food.

And you can also find...medicines to be taken with meals in the lunch box.

The last time they had a barbecue, Shinji Ikari noticed that if Rei Ayanami ate too much, it would put a great burden on her body... Since then, he has strictly controlled his food intake.

"You haven't eaten yet?"

"Well... because I saw Ikari-kun... your bento... and realized you hadn't eaten it yet... so..."

Rei Ayanami didn't continue speaking, but walked to the bench on the rooftop and wiped the already clean bench vigorously with a handkerchief.

After wiping it repeatedly, he patted the bench... motioning for Shinji Ikari to sit over and eat.

——Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever had a meal with Ayanami Rei at school...

"Let's eat together."

Naturally, there was no reason to refuse, so Shinji Ikari obediently sat next to Rei Ayanami and opened his lunch box.

The dishes were, of course, identical, after all, they were all made by Shinji Ikari... but, in a place like school... during recess... the two of them sat side by side on the rooftop eating the exact same bento.

I don't know why, but I always feel a subtle sense of shyness.

"Ikari-kun."

"...?"

I looked at Ayanami with some surprise. This child is usually quiet when eating... It's really rare to see her speak on her own initiative.

"Are you envious?"

“…What are you envious of?”

After spending a few months together, Shinji Ikari has become somewhat accustomed to Rei Ayanami's concise and eccentric way of speaking.

"Suzuhara-san."

"...As expected, you've been led astray by Asuka. You were actually hiding in the back and listening so attentively."

Shinji Ikari raised his head and gazed at the distant azure sky...a sky dotted only with the whitest wisps of clouds...it was so refreshing.

After gazing at the clear sky for a long time... Shinji Ikari slowly gave a slightly lonely answer.

"……maybe."

Before this, I really hadn't thought about this question... But Holmaki Hikaru did make Ikari Shinji think...

If my mother were still alive, what would she say when faced with the fact that I had to resolutely and actively step into a desperate situation again and again?

——I would feel proud of myself and shout... You are worthy of being my son!
——Or, just like Tomoki Hikaru…crying and begging myself not to put myself in danger…as long as you are healthy and happy, nothing else matters.

It seems that both of them are right...and it seems that both of them are wrong.

Mom, what will you do?
I don't know... No matter how much Shinji Ikari tries to put himself in other people's shoes and simulate their personalities... Shinji Ikari can't find the exact answer to this question.

After all, I may never find her again... After all, the face of my mother... Yui Ikari, is only mottled in the deepest corner of my heart.

"…Ayanami?"

When she reacted, Rei Ayanami stopped using the chopsticks in her hand, and her fair palms gently and delicately stroked Shinji Ikari's hair that was messed up by the wind.

"What are you..."

Shinji Ikari blinked, neither resisting nor agreeing...he just looked at the girl who was doing abnormal things in surprise.

"…have no idea."

Ayanami Rei blinked her deep red eyes, and even she seemed surprised by the movement of her own hands.

"I don't know why, but... seeing Ikari-kun's expression, I suddenly want to..." I want to stroke Shinji Ikari's head and say to him... You did a great job.

"Alright, alright, that's totally out of character for me."

But... when Ayanami was still organizing words and thinking about the word order... she was rejected by Shinji Ikari with a smile.

The slightly upturned corners of her mouth instantly drooped... Deep down, she secretly regretted not praising him earlier.

"Ikari-kun... do you want me to cry?"

"ha--!?"

The sudden topic made even Shinji Ikari unable to connect with the context.

"...Next time, when you pilot an EVA, I'll cry and try to get you to stay, just like Toraki-san did."

"………………Inside the NERV base?"

Shinji Ikari could only imagine how exciting it would be if that scene really appeared... the expressions on the faces of Misato Katsuragi, Ritsuko Akagi, and even Fuyutsuki and Gendo Ikari...

"Ah."

Rei Ayanami nodded decisively, as if as long as Shinji Ikari agreed... she would start crying the next time the angels attacked and Shinji Ikari attacked, giving everyone in NERV a hard time.

"Honestly... I really want to see that scene... It must be really spectacular."

Shinji Ikari laughed and shook his head.

"—But never mind."

“…or not?”

Rei Ayanami was a little surprised, and even a little disappointed.

"Well... because, rather than seeing you cry, I still prefer to see you smile... no matter what happens."

As he said this... as if to actively distance himself from Rei Ayanami, Shinji Ikari stood up and walked to the edge of the rooftop.

Once again, I gazed into the blue sky, as if searching for something... again and again.

Rei Ayanami also quietly followed to Shinji Ikari's side, raised her little head, and looked into the distance with Shinji Ikari.

“…Ikari-kun, I’m sorry.”

"? Why are you apologizing?"

Rei Ayanami's head drooped, looking a little depressed.

"...Did I touch you too casually...and make you unhappy?"

"How is that possible? I just—I don't want to get along with you this way... because you've always catered to my wishes... but I hope Ayanami can cater to her own wishes. Not to satisfy anyone else—but to live the way she wants."

"...!"

Feeling Rei Ayanami's crimson pupils, they suddenly widened slightly.

"May I…"

"Of course you can... No, I should say... There's no right or wrong. You don't need to ask for anyone else's permission to live your life."

After hearing Shinji Ikari's sincere words... Ayanami Rei hesitated for a moment... and then made a wish in a delicate voice...

"Then, Ikari-kun...can you please let me touch...your hand?"

"so?"

Shinji Ikari didn't know the reason, but since Rei Ayanami mentioned it, he naturally wouldn't refuse and extended his hand.

And Ayanami Rei used her delicate fingers to gently move over the remaining burn marks on Shinji Ikari's palm, which had almost completely recovered.

"It's healed already."

"Oh, you're talking about this..."

The burns she'd gotten when she'd pulled Rei Ayanami out of the plug had almost healed by now.

"Great."

Feeling Rei Ayanami's happy smile, under the clear blue sky... this hand, which was obviously much smaller than his own... carefully and cautiously held his palm.

"Sure enough...it's very warm."

Author's Note: This chapter took longer than I thought... I wrote until almost 8:30 and stayed up all night.

Unlike Asuka and Shinji Ikari's hot and obvious dependence

This chapter tries to describe the refreshing feeling of Ayanami Rei and Sada, which is completely different from Asuka.

There is no particularly strong emotional expression, just a tacit understanding in daily life

In the end, it seems like the writing is a bit too literary. 23333 I'm already too sleepy. [Potion]

(End of this chapter)