It's time for me to put on my bat mask

Chapter 27: Just Drink More Hot Water (Two-in-One Chapter)

Bai Zizhou was convinced.

This customer service B always wants to separate himself from the masses!
He even urged me to rule the earth...

Not to mention that I can rule with my own head, even if I rule, won’t I just be your puppet?
Now it’s even more exaggerated.

They actually want me to go to Mars to live broadcast!
No one on earth will let me do it!

I will never agree to that!
[Tong Zhibao: Mr. Bai, we will provide you with a very generous moving allowance.]

[Teacher Bai: I will never leave my home planet!]

Tong Zhibao: The initial subsidy is 120 million Moorish coins.

Bai Zizhou's breathing stopped.

120! ?

Or is it the universal currency of the universe, Moore's Coin? !
Isn’t that 1440 million RMB?!
[Teacher Bai: Do I have to choose Mars?]

[Tong Zhibao: Any rocky planet in the solar system, whether it's Mercury or Ceres, is fine.]

[Tong Zhibao: Of course, it's not impossible if you insist on choosing a gaseous planet.]

Teacher Bai: Let me think about it. After all, I have a family and a job.

[Tong Zhibao: Your current teaching job isn't as good as the treatment we get as Tong Zhibao ambassadors, right?]

[Tong Zhibao: We have a serious lifetime employment system, and we promise not to interfere with your freedom.]

[Tong Zhibao: Furthermore, the salaries and benefits we provide to ambassadors are among the best in the entire universe.]

Tong Zhibao: Even our employees want to resign to take on this lucrative ambassadorial job!

Teacher Bai: Then why didn’t they resign in the end?

Tong Zhibao: Because our own employees are actually paid better, though their working hours are slightly longer.

[Tong Zhibao: After working for a long time, it's inevitable that you'll feel bored.]

[Tong Zhibao: But there's nothing we can do about it. Those who are capable should do more work.]

[Tong Zhibao: After all, the competition for our positions is still very fierce.]

Teacher Bai: Six hundred and sixty-six. So, is a giant corporation like yours really that competitive?

Tong Zhibao: Is there any problem? (Confused)

What could be wrong with Bai Zizhou?
He hates curly dogs the most!
He wishes he could lie down every day!

Otherwise, he wouldn't have applied for a physical education teacher position, let alone an elementary school physical education teacher position, which is an easy, stable job.

Otherwise, how did he find the time to be a part-time UP host and accumulate 10 fans?

Apart from the fact that the salary is indeed a little lower than that of other teachers, Bai Zizhou doesn't think this job has any disadvantages.

Teacher Bai: I can consider changing your live broadcast location, as long as transportation is convenient.

[Teacher Bai: And it has to be safe enough. I don't want to be killed by a meteorite while I'm live streaming.]

[Teacher Bai: I don't want to be abducted by aliens from somewhere.]

[Tong Zhibao: Don't worry! We care about your safety more than you do!]

Teacher Bai: Okay, I'll contact you once I've thought it through.

Bai Zizhou threw his phone on the sofa and suddenly remembered something.

He immediately rushed to the bathroom mirror, took off the white mask on his head, revealing a breathtakingly beautiful face.

If someone acquaintance of Bai Zizhou saw this face, they would definitely be curious whether this was Bai Zizhou's sister or younger sister.

Maybe this is the legendary painting of a woman and trying to say she is a man.

Although her facial features look very similar to Bai Zizhou, it is more accurate to say that she is charming yet heroic rather than delicate yet heroic.

"Fuck..."

Bai Zizhou couldn't help but touch his face.

Although I touched it once before when I first looked in the mirror...

but……

"Zetama is my face?"

So slippery!

So tender!

After being intoxicated for a few seconds, he finally remembered something important.

He hurried back to the study and picked up his cell phone.

Teacher Bai: Are you here?!

【Tong Zhibao: Here! 】

Teacher Bai: I ate the slippery fruit.

【Tong Zhibao: Well, then what? 】

Teacher Bai: And then I became like this.

Bai Zizhou took a selfie and sent it over.

A few seconds later.

[Tong Zhibao: It's very beautiful, but unfortunately the effect can only last for less than 17 hours now.]

Teacher Bai: It's not a shame at all! The effect lasts for 17 hours!

[Teacher Bai: Is there an antidote?]

【Tong Zhibao: Really not.】

Bai Zizhou looks up at the sky.

That's it.

Teacher Bai: What should I do at work tomorrow?

【Tong Zhibao: Do ​​you want to try to ask for leave? 】

Bai Zizhou sighed.

It seems that this is the only way.

Fortunately, he is a physical education teacher and has no classes tomorrow morning, only in the afternoon.

This effect lasts until 2 p.m. the next day, so I can still catch up with the afternoon class.

"I should have resigned decisively..."

Bai Zizhou stood up and walked to the computer, checked the status of the two black-tech cameras, and then prepared to close Bilibili.

"That much?"

Looking at his private messages, which already totaled over 99, Bai Zizhou paused clicking on the upper right corner and opened the private message.

The dense information instantly made Bai Zizhou overwhelmed.

There were fans, strangers, well-known UP hosts, and even the Ministry of Foreign Affairs Office.

no……

Do you think I'm an alien?

Bai Zizhou clicked on the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and took a look.

Very classic diplomatic rhetoric.

I hope to have a chance to talk to the forces behind Bai Zizhou.

It seems that the country is absolutely certain that it was aliens who provided Bai Zizhou with these incredible toys.

Bai Zizhou replied:
"Definitely next time."

Then came the next one, which caught Bai Zizhou's attention because the other party's profile picture was that of Kousaka Kirino.

"Fuck! Uncle!"

There is no doubt that this is authentic.

"You want me to bind my future live broadcasts and videos to Bilibili, and are willing to offer me a sky-high contract?"

Uncle, you are trying to create a monopoly!

This is unacceptable!
My videos belong to all mankind!
Not only will I be live streaming on Bilibili, I will also be live streaming on YouTube!

Ignoring his uncle's almost humble request, Bai Zizhou looked at the others.

Basically, they are some top 100 UP hosts looking for cooperation.

Especially those with heads.

Bai Zizhou did not give any response.

"No...why are there still people sending me pornographic pictures, codes, and links..."

Bai Zizhou despises this kind of behavior very much!

Then I clicked on one.

"No...Fuck you, why is it Entiah!"

As a pure love warrior, I hate minotaurs the most!

Bai Zizhou angrily shut down Bilibili!
Then he picked up his phone and sent a message to a physical education teacher asking him to punch in on his behalf.

Finally, he noticed the LINE message from Tsukiumihara Miya.

The other party has apparently become a fan of "Akazuru Teacher".

And he is very interested in the origin of "Teacher Akasuru".

[Teacher Bai! Have you finished watching the live broadcast? ]

[Teacher Bai, what do you think of this teacher Akazuru? ]

My parents think it's fake, and no matter how I explain it, they just don't believe it!

[Teacher Bai wouldn't also think this is fake! ]

[It’s a pity that I don’t know much about ONE PIECE! ]

【It would be great if there were toys based on the works I know! 】

[Teacher Bai, are you following Teacher Akazuru?] Looking at the numerous messages from Tsukiumihara Miya on the app, Bai Zizhou only replied with two words:
【Fake. Magic.】

The other party seemed to be waiting for me to reply to the message and immediately sent an emoticon of an angry anime character.

[It’s not fake! This is definitely true! ]

Of course I know it's true, because that's me, kid.

But Bai Zizhou still decided to tease Tsukimihara Miya.

[Watch less ACG. How can this be real? It's just a special effect.]

[Nowadays, with the advancement of technology, it is possible to make live broadcasts so realistic that they are indistinguishable from real ones.]

After replying, Bai Zizhou immediately exited LINE and sent the saved photo of Tsukiumihara Miya to his mother.

Bai Mu even replied to the message faster than Tsukimihara Miya.

It starts with three question marks.

And an explosive word.

[Which pornographic website stole the picture? ]

Bai Zizhou was deeply shocked by his mother.

【Why do you think that? 】

[Because, apart from those websites, are there really girls that big? ]

Bai Zizhou was at a loss whether to laugh or cry.

What I mean is that it is indeed a little bigger than usual, right?

【This is the Japanese foreign teacher in our school! 】

Bai's mother sent an emoticon that said "I don't believe it."

[If you don't believe me, just look at our school's faculty and staff section! ]

What? It's on the wall?
Bai's mother had no choice but to believe it.

She sent a voice message immediately.

"You're quite insightful then. The child will definitely not go hungry from now on. What's the progress now?"

God damn, I can’t be hungry!

Bai Zizhou immediately replied: [Secret love, it’s a secret love! ]

[You have a crush on her? Then what are you afraid of? Go after her boldly! Our family is very tolerant! We don't hate any Japanese who face up to their history and mistakes!]

Let's talk about it later. I'll find out what she likes first.

Bai Zizhou decided to use the tactic of delaying.

Bai's mother rolled her eyes and sent a voice message from her phone:
"I don't care. Take it home and see it in a month at the latest, no matter what method you use!"

Bai Zizhou was convinced.

At this time, Bai's mother sent another voice message.

[By the way, Bai Zizhou. Aren't you a TikTok host? Do you know Mr. Chihe?]

After hearing what Bai's mother said, Bai Zizhou was shocked!
no……

How could such a question come out of your mouth!

【What's wrong? 】

[Your dad and I have been arguing for half an hour, and he insists it's fake!]

Inside a house in a community in Zunyi City.

Mother Bai glared at the bedroom and continued with her phone:
"Many people in Shanghai witnessed it, including the police!
Even someone who went in with the driver who caused the accident posted it on WeChat Moments!
Your dad is still saying it's fake, it's a special effect! Come and give your opinion!"

Bai Zizhou laughed dryly.

Is it necessary for you two elders to quarrel over such things?

And how can I comment on this!
My father paid the down payment for my house.

My mother paid for the down payment on my car.

I won’t give a good review to anyone!
Ugh?
its not right!
I already have a huge sum of 70 yuan, and I will receive another 10 yuan tomorrow. I will even have 1440 million yuan in the future. I am a first-generation rich man!

Bai Zizhou instantly felt his wings harden.

"Of course it's true, Mom."

"Humph! After all, it's my son, I'm not blind."

After chatting with Bai's mother for a few minutes and just logging out of WeChat, the phone rang.

Bai Zizhou saw that it was his old man calling.

"dad?"

On the other end of the phone, Mr. Bai said "hmm".

“Your mom showed me a picture of your crush.

Not bad, you have better taste than me! Prettier than your mom!
Work harder! Try to bring a foreign daughter-in-law back to our family!

If you don’t know how to pursue it, you can ask me!

I was often pursued in the past, and I also pursued them often, so I have experience! "

Bai Zizhou suppressed his laughter:
"No, Dad. Didn't you say Mom was your first love?"

"Yeah, it's my first love in college. Is that a problem?"

"..."

It turns out that first love has stages?

Although Bai Zizhou didn't understand, he was greatly shocked!

"Of course, don't tell your mom! Otherwise, the belt will break!"

Then Father Bai changed the subject:
"By the way, do you know Mr. Akazuru?"

Bai Zizhou didn't wait for his father to finish and immediately answered:

"It's fake! It must be fake!"

"Hey! You're worthy of being my child! Unlike your mother, who's blind!
We men are rational and good at analysis!

I told you! This glance is fake!"

Father Bai and Bai Zizhou chatted for a few more words, then hung up the phone happily, walked out of the bedroom, and showed off his power.

"Bai Zizhou said it was fake. He was just a part-time UP. Isn't he more professional than you?"

Bai's mother, who was sitting on the sofa in the living room, got hard.

The hand holding the phone stiffened.

"Bai! Zi! Zhou!"
-
The next afternoon.

Bai Zizhou walked to the playground with a dejected face as the school bell rang.

When a group of elementary school students saw Bai Zizhou coming, they quickly divided themselves into groups of boys and girls and stood in two rows.

Bai Zizhou yawned and said weakly:
"At ease... Stand at attention... Do a set of exercises, then dismiss!"

regret!

I regret it so much!

If I had known earlier, I would have said that I didn’t know who “Akazuru Teacher” was!
Bai's father and mother fought for an hour straight!

But that's not important.

I don't know what happened, but after the four devil fruit powers disappeared and my face returned to normal...

Bai Zizhou felt that he was not in a good mental state.

The instructions don't mention any side effects after taking it, right?
He asked Tongzhibao's customer service.

The customer service response was:

[Maybe Earthlings have weaker constitutions. Just drink more hot water.]

Damn, where did this straight man come from!
No, we don’t even know if the other person is a man or a woman!

We don’t even know if they are human!
Bai Zizhou asked:

"Is it really okay?"

[How about this, I'll give you a nutritional medicine, just take it orally.

It can solve more than eighty percent of the physical problems on the planet within our company's trading circle.

You can take it with confidence, it can not only solve your problems, but also strengthen your body. 】

“…Is it reliable?”

Sitting under the tree, Bai Zizhou took out a small purple glass bottle from his pocket.

It should be made of glass, right?
He held the vial in front of his eyes and shook it. The purple liquid inside shone brightly in the sunlight that filtered through the greenery.

"drink!"

Bai Zizhou gritted his teeth, opened the bottle cap, and drank the purple liquid in one gulp.

Half a minute later.

Bai Zizhou stood up in a flash.

"Hey! That's really reliable! No more fatigue!"

He jumped on the spot.

On the second floor of the teaching building, Miya Tsukiumihara came out of the foreign teacher's office and turned her head to look outside the building.

Then I saw Bai Zizhou's face.

"???"

huh?

Is it my imagination?

Was that Teacher Bai just now?

(End of this chapter)