Inheriting a Taoist temple, the story begins with Wu Zetian offering incense.

Chapter 7 Zhizhi Chanyu's Golden Knife! [Please add to your favorites]

"This is called stainless steel, a product of modern industry... Wait, I'll make you another bowl of noodles."

Making stir-fried noodles is too slow, so Zhou Yi plans to make oil-splashed noodles directly. Just boil them, take them out, sprinkle some chili powder, and pour hot oil over them, and they're ready to eat. It'll also give Chen Tang a change of pace.

While he went to the kitchen to cook noodles, Chen Tang burped and started rummaging through the dining table and chairs:

"Sitting here and eating like this means I don't have to worry about spilling food on the couch... I wonder if this is difficult to make. When I get to Chang'an, I can ask a craftsman to give it a try."

Then, he got up and began to observe the other furnishings in the room. He even secretly picked up a baseball cap from the bookshelf and tried it on, but unfortunately, his head was too big and he couldn't wear it at all.

He was curious about everything in the room and wanted to explore it, but he was worried that it was too valuable and he wouldn't be able to afford to pay for the damage if he broke it. In the end, he chose to leave the room and wandered into the kitchen.

As soon as Chen Tang entered the room, he saw Wang Mazi's kitchen knife on the cutting board:

"This knife is gleaming; could it be a divine weapon?"

Zhou Yi was afraid that this guy would suddenly go berserk and start hacking and slashing with a kitchen knife, so he quickly said:

"This is just an ordinary kitchen knife, but it's sharper than a knife from the Han Dynasty. There's a wood-chopping knife hanging on the wall outside the door, made of manganese steel. You can try it out if you want."

You can't travel in the mountains without a wood-chopping knife.

Especially in summer, if you don't go to a place for a few days, the grass and vines will grow so thick that you can't find the path, and you have to use a machete to clear the path again.

Zhou Yi bought this knife online. The back of the blade is more than an inch thick, the edge is curved inward, and it also comes with a handle. When combined, it becomes a long knife.

Chen Tang didn't know what manganese steel was, but since it was specifically introduced to him, it should be better than a kitchen knife.

He shuffled out of the kitchen in his slippers, saw the wood-chopping knife hanging on the wall, took it down without a word, and started wreaking havoc on the firewood Zhou Yi had collected.

"Haha, it can cut through a piece of firewood as thick as a wrist with one stroke. It's truly a fine knife!"

After finishing with the firewood, he picked up his wood-chopping knife and went to the kitchen doorway, saying to Zhou Yi, who was tearing apart noodles:
"Give me a thousand long-handled swords, and I can lead my army to conquer the Aral Sea west of Parthia!"

Fine weapons can indeed ignite a great general's desire for conquest... Zhou Yi sighed inwardly, saying regretfully:
"Historically speaking, after defeating Zhizhi Chanyu, you will never have another chance to command troops."

Chen Tang was a little skeptical:

"You just said I'd be remembered in history, but is it really worth being remembered for just one battle?"

Zhou Yi threw the torn dough pieces into the pot:

"Your battle laid the foundation for the situation in the Western Regions for three hundred years. From a strategic perspective, it is comparable to Wei Qing and Huo Qubing."

One battle brought three hundred years of stability to the border, which would be an immense achievement in any dynasty.

However, Chen Tang only received the lowest rank of marquis, the Marquis of Guannei, while Kuang Heng, who had been constantly finding fault with him, was granted the title of Marquis of Le'an Township by Emperor Yuan of Han, Liu Shi, despite not having made any contributions.

Military achievements were no match for eloquence, and from then on, everyone in the court focused on scheming and no longer strived for merit. The vast Western Han Dynasty then entered a period of rapid decline.

Upon hearing the number three hundred years, Chen Tang was somewhat dazed:

"My single thought had such a great effect?"

He pondered for a moment, then bowed deeply to Zhou Yi, who was cooking noodles, and sincerely sought his guidance:

"Please teach me, sir, how to change my fate and continue to expand the territory of the Han Dynasty?"

Zhou Yi hadn't expected this guy to be so impatient, and said with a smile:

"The Han Dynasty is divided into two periods: the Western Han and the Eastern Han. You are now at the end of the Western Han. Eunuchs control the government, officials are extremely corrupt, land annexation is serious, and there are countless refugees... If you want to make a name for yourself, you must be more cunning than treacherous officials, more ruthless than corrupt officials, and more eloquent than Confucian scholars. Only by doing these things can you change your fate."

These are quite difficult, especially for Chen Tang.

He lacked emotional intelligence and was unable to assess situations. During the period when Emperor Cheng of Han valued him, he would help anyone who came to offer gifts, and he would help sincerely. He even accepted gifts from the families of death row inmates and then ran to Emperor Cheng to plead for their lives.

Later, Chen Tang's friend Xie Wannian was ordered to repair the imperial mausoleum. It was clearly a low-lying area, and it would definitely not be repaired in three years. However, Chen Tang believed Xie Wannian's words and patted his chest in front of Emperor Cheng to guarantee it. He even planned to establish a county next to the imperial mausoleum.

Ultimately, the project was a waste of resources and manpower, and the imperial mausoleum was never completed. He and Xie Wannian were exiled to Dunhuang.

Fortunately, Chen Tang was famous enough that as soon as he arrived in Dunhuang, his admirers flocked to visit him, prompting the governor of Dunhuang to write a letter to the imperial court overnight, requesting that Chen Tang be removed from the capital.

Such a powerful figure residing on the western border wielded far more influence than the prefect. Who knows what kind of trouble he might cause if this continued? Then Chen Tang was summoned back to Chang'an, where he lived out his days as a commoner, and even the exact time of his death remains unrecorded.

Chen Tang leaned against the doorframe, still pondering Zhou Yi's words, until Zhou Yi started pouring hot oil over the chili powder on the noodles, which brought him back to his senses.

"It smells wonderful, what is this?"

"Chili peppers only entered China five hundred years ago."

Carrying the noodles back to the restaurant, Chen Tang took a big bite of the noodles covered in chili oil, only to choke and cough repeatedly.

"More cunning than treacherous ministers, more ruthless than corrupt officials, and more eloquent than Confucian scholars... These are easy to say, but really hard to do."

Zhou Yi took two bottles of juice from the refrigerator, opened one, and handed it over:
“You should learn from Gan Yanshou; he’s much more shrewd than you.”

Chen Tang was stunned for a moment:
"Is he more tactful than me?"

Zhou Yi nodded:

"What was he doing when you falsely claimed to have issued an imperial edict to summon a large army?"

“He was sick and unable to make decisions, which gave me the opportunity to gather a large army.”

Zhou Yi laughed upon hearing this:

"He fell ill just as you were about to assemble the army, and he recovered at lightning speed after the army was assembled, without delaying his long-distance raid and military achievements... Isn't his illness strangely sensible?"

Chen Tang finally understood:
"You mean... he's faking illness?"

"Yes, he took all the credit, but you bore all the responsibility... You have to be like that in order to survive in this chaotic world."

Chen Tang scratched his messy beard:
"No wonder he offered to lend me money; he must have something to hide!"

Zhou Yi couldn't quite follow this guy's train of thought for a moment:

"Why do I feel like you borrow money all the time? Are you really short of cash?"

Chen Tang picked up a juice, using it to hide the embarrassment on his face:

"I was poor when I was young, and I was terrified of poverty. I like to spend money and I don't know how to control it, so I'm always short of money... This water is so delicious. If I take it to Chang'an, I can sell it for a hundred gold pieces and people will fight over it!"

All he talks about is making money. It seems those business people shouldn't be worshipping the God of Wealth, but rather you, Chen Tang… Zhou Yi said:
"If you like it, take some back with you when you leave and let Gan Yanshou and the others have a taste. You are comrades-in-arms who fought side by side, so you should learn to win people's hearts."

Chen Tang repeatedly expressed his gratitude:

"Thank you for this divine drink, sir. May I take this empty bottle with me? I can use it to fill the desert with water, and when I get to Chang'an, I can sell it to the princes and nobles at a high price... This will be enough to pay off my debt in Chang'an."

Wow, you're such a shrewd businessman!

Zhou Yi turned around, took two incense lighters from the drawer, and tossed them to Chen Tang:
“This thing is more practical than a beverage bottle. Take it back with you. Now that Zhizhi Chanyu has been killed, you should write the battle report, right? Remember to add Kuang Heng and the others' names. This will avoid a lot of trouble.”

Chen Tang took the lighter and started fiddling with it:
"You mean, we should share some of the credit with them so that my military achievements won't be withheld? How is this item used?"

Zhou Yi picked up the lighter and pressed it lightly. With a click, a flame appeared, startling Chen Tang so much that he almost fell to the ground.
"There's actually such a divine object for starting fires here?"

There were not many ways to start a fire in the Han Dynasty. The main methods were using wooden or metal flints, and only nobles had access to fire strikers and other similar items.

It wasn't until the Sui and Tang dynasties that the invention of the tinderbox made it easier for ordinary people to start fires in their daily lives.

Chen Tang caressed the two lighters as if they were beautiful women:
"Once these two treasures are obtained in Chang'an, they will surely cause a sensation throughout the city, and promotion and advancement will be just around the corner... Sir, you are a person outside the secular world, yet you have helped me so much. I feel indebted to you."

After saying this, he got up and went to the bathroom, pulled a golden knife from his discarded armor, and presented it to Zhou Yi with both hands:

"This is the personal sword of Zhizhi Chanyu. I have nothing to repay you with, so I offer this sword to you, sir. Please accept it!"

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I only realized after a helpful reader corrected me that there were no titles like "Daoist Master" or "Taoist Priest" in the Western Han Dynasty; instead, there were titles like "Fangshi," "Sir," and "Master." This has now been corrected.

The second update is here, please add it to your favorites, brothers!

(End of this chapter)