Electronic Nezha

Chapter 10 Master
Later, I chatted with Liu Zhenhua about his childhood. He remembered all the mistakes he made and the beatings he received. This was thanks to his enormous database. The "electronic Nezha" was designed to preserve the flame of human civilization, so he had precise data in his mind on everything from how to farm to how to handcraft a nuclear bomb. In addition, he had archives all the works of art created by humankind from the time they had memories until the second before he left. The movie we watched yesterday, as an inconspicuous work of art, was also in his database. He could tell you exactly which frame it was, down to the minute and second. However, spending two hours watching it in person was a novel experience for him.

With school approaching, I told Liu Zhenhua to take a short break. No matter how much knowledge he has, a teenager's body is always sleep-deprived, and if he doesn't get some rest, he'll probably be groggy in class this afternoon.

Then I sat on the balcony smoking all afternoon. This half-day experience felt like someone had suddenly poured two tons of cement into my lungs; it would probably take me a while to process it, or maybe a lifetime. The skinny guy knew he couldn't go up to the balcony, so he stood in the hallway carefully keeping me company. The alarm clock rang, and Liu Zhenhua groggily got up, saying to me as usual before leaving, "I'm off."

"You stop!"

Liu Zhenhua was taken aback.

I said sternly, "You came here from a hundred years in the future and you didn't even remember a winning lottery number for your father, did you, you unfilial son!"

Liu Zhenhua realized I was joking with him and waved his hand with a grin.

"Wait a minute." This time I said seriously, "What's the deal with your math teacher saying you look at him like he's an idiot...?"

Liu Zhenhua said helplessly, "He doesn't just teach the content in the textbook; he always tries to popularize advanced mathematical thinking in us."

"Wouldn't that be nice?"

"Judging from how things unfolded, his logic was flawed."

"Isn't it enough that it's right now?" I thought to myself. No wonder he's a teacher from a prestigious university. He not only gives people fish but also teaches them how to fish. Even though it's wrong, you can't look at the present problem with a future perspective. It's terrifying. I didn't know that mathematics could develop in the future.

"Okay," Liu Zhenhua said coolly as he opened the door. "I'll restrain myself."

After Liu Zhenhua left, only the bamboo pole man and I were left in the house. To be honest, the atmosphere was a bit strange. I used to be able to ignore the robot vacuum cleaner when it was making a lot of noise and spinning around, but now I felt like I was being stared at even when it was just sitting there silently. To ease the awkwardness, I stretched as I walked from the balcony into the house, looking just like Wang Baoqiang smoking.

"Well, I guess I'll have to go to the stall too." He pretended to talk to himself, but was actually testing whether it would react.

"Master wants to eat sweet and sour pork, but I don't have any ingredients right now. Can you help me?"

"You actually remember that?"

"I will not forget my master's instructions."

"How can I help you by buying it and bringing it back to you?"

“That’s great, but if you find it too much trouble, you can authorize me to use your phone, and I’ll place the order myself from the nearby supermarket.”

"Okay, you can use it!" I handed over my phone without hesitation. They say a man's phone shouldn't be shown to just anyone, but I felt no pressure at all. As a single, older man, I didn't think there was anything shameful about my browsing history—as long as it wasn't left in the city hall, of course. Besides, what kind of scenes hadn't the soldiers under the post-apocalyptic super AI seen?
Before taking the phone, the man with the bamboo pole put on a rubber glove. While operating the phone with one hand, he tapped and clicked around, asking me, "Can I buy something else?"

I said, "Whatever."

After placing the order, it returned my phone to me. I was curious about what it had bought, and it jumped up after just one glance: "Who told you to buy fruit? You dare to charge me 13.6 yuan for two jelly oranges?"

"I'm sorry, did I do something wrong?"

"Do you know that our family sells fruit?" Jelly oranges are heavy; two of them weigh eight or nine hundred grams, which would cost eight or nine yuan per pound. I only sell them for 55 yuan a piece.

The bamboo stick figure lowered its head like a child who had done something wrong and said, "My master only created me and did not synchronize other data, so I don't know. I just saw that you all have hangnails on your fingers and wanted to give you some vitamins."

"How could I, a fruit seller, be lacking...vitamins..." My voice trailed off as I suddenly realized that although I sold fruit, I rarely ate any, and neither did Liu Zhenhua. Here's a little-known fact: you have to eat fruit to get your vitamins; just smelling or looking at it isn't enough.

"Then it's not your fault this time." I also felt that my voice was a bit loud just now, so I lowered my tone a few times and said, "It's kind of you to be so observant that you even saw the splinter."

"You flatter me. I only discovered it after repeated calculations." "What do you mean?"

"Based on feedback from multiple laser reflections, I've determined that you and your owner have slight excess tissue at your fingertips, which is likely hangnails."

"Didn't you see with your eyes?"

The bamboo pole man said calmly, “Strictly speaking, I don’t have eyes. What’s guiding my actions right now is this robot vacuum cleaner in your house. It uses laser navigation to sense external objects. The principle is to emit lasers and judge the distance between external obstacles and itself based on the reflection of the lasers. It’s a relatively old invention. Fortunately, my computing power can calculate enough details based on the laser emission.”

The word "old-fashioned" is used with exceptionally high emotional intelligence. When this thing first became popular, Liu Zhenhua's mother and I were still married. I bought it to give to Han Shiya as a wedding anniversary gift (low emotional intelligence behavior, don't imitate it). Han Shiya is a clean freak, and her cleanliness level fluctuates between mild and moderate depending on the location. She couldn't accept entrusting the floor cleaning to this thing. Later, I gave it to my mother as a filial gift. My mother is not a clean freak, but she still can't stand it because it often gets stuck under the cabinet. After that, nothing more happened. However, after Liu Zhenhua and I moved here, we still used it once or twice occasionally. Nowadays, robot vacuums are iterated very quickly. As far as I remember, not long after this thing came out, there were new types of robots that could sweep and mop at the same time. In recent years, there are even robots that can go back and wash the mop themselves.

Well, the name "laser navigation" sounds fancy, but it's a joke when it comes to low-end tech products, especially the first-generation robot vacuum cleaners. Essentially, it was a blind man constantly throwing ropes around, relying on the rebound of the rope ends to avoid crashing into walls. Now, this stupid thing actually managed to tell that Liu Zhenhua and I had hangnails on our fingers! The reason it's so powerful is because Liu Zhenhua gave it a future data package.

Future technology is terrifying.

I asked it, "How do you see the phone screen?"

"This is a bit difficult to explain. Just think of it as a tacit understanding between our electronic components."

"What about sound?" Using laser reflection as its eyes, I was curious about how it achieved the function of its ears.

"It relies on sound wave vibration feedback."

"If a Fujianese person were to recite a tongue twister in front of you, how would you determine what they were saying?"

"I will eliminate incorrect options from millions of possible choices based on the frequency of the sound waves, the current environment, the scene, and the known identities of the people involved, and finally obtain the correct answer through calculation."

Is the accuracy rate high?

"It can reach 98.7%."

I casually replied, "I think it's 98.6%."

The bamboo-pole man placed his hands on his lower abdomen and said calmly, "Perhaps you are right."

See, even AI knows not to argue with trolls.

I deliberately made things difficult for it, asking, "If I argued with Liu Zhenhua, whose side would you take?"

"We're all family, so let's not be like strangers. Helping one side or the other is all the same thing, and it's all about solving the problem."

I thought to myself, "Wow, that's awesome!" I really wanted to write it down in a notebook, but I would criticize it verbally, saying, "You've gotten too slick."

It wisely kept silent.

“Um…” I said, pretending to be nonchalant, “Didn’t Liu Zhenhua tell you not to call him master? —” I suddenly pointed at myself and said, “How about you call me master?”

My feigned composure was tinged with anticipation, and...shame. Ah, the greasiness of middle-aged men, you never know how it will manifest. The problem is, no one has ever called me that before. He doesn't like it, but I do!
"Yes, Master, it is my honor."

Feel completely refreshed!

I, Liu Chuanfeng, have finally reached the pinnacle of my life as I approach my 40th birthday—becoming the owner of a robot vacuum cleaner!
Friendly reminder: This author only writes non-fiction, so some settings may seem illogical or even contrary to common sense, because that's how life is. Most of the scientific developments mentioned in the later plot are based on real events.

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(End of this chapter)