Electronic Nezha

Chapter 20 Xiao Wu
Over this period of time, I have become so dependent on Yuanyuan that I do everything from cooking and cleaning to waking Liu Zhenhua up and helping me rank up in games. I have now become someone who doesn't lift a finger to do housework. I have gone from being a miserable single mother raising a child to a carefree housekeeper. Let me tell you this: if I can find the soy sauce in the house, I'll admit defeat.

But the most pressing issue right now is: I'm so drunk I'm trembling, and Yuan Yuan is just a head left, so who's going to drive?
At this moment, Yuan Yuan said, "Master, please turn on the car's Bluetooth."

I did as he said, and then asked, "And then what are you going to do?"

"I'm transmitting a data packet... Master... I'm running out of power, so I can't talk any more unless absolutely necessary..." Its voice was a few decibels lower than usual, revealing the weakness of someone who was extremely tired.

"Okay, you are busy with your work."

The lights on Yuan Yuan's "face" began to flash frequently, and suddenly a monotonous, emotionless female voice rang out:
"Low power, please charge. Low power, please charge."

This is a very dangerous sign, indicating that the robot vacuum's battery has reached its limit and Yuan Yuan is no longer able to control her behavior. We've encountered this situation once or twice before. Once it happened when she was chopping minced meat, and another time we were matched with a bot who was carrying a girl in a duo queue. They had four green-level players and one red-level player, while we had the opposite: one green-level player and four red-level players. That match lasted for more than two hours, with overtime going on forever, and we finally defeated them.

Every time this happens, Yuanyuan can still go back to recharge on its own, similar to how it can find its way home no matter how much it drinks.

So, clinging to my last shred of hope, I asked, "Yuan Yuan, and then what?"

"Turn on the radio—" After saying this, Yuan Yuan fell completely silent.

I usually don't listen to car radios while driving. When I listen to music on medium to long distances, I connect my phone to listen to curated selections. When I turn on the radio, one channel is playing very soft music, another is completely silent, and when the needle moves to the third channel, it's playing a comedy show.

"At her age, and at my age, there are those who can talk but can't listen; their tongues can be deadly, and you can't clear your name even if you jump into the Yellow River. I have to consider this!"

I asked in surprise, "Teacher Guo?"

Then, Guo Degang's voice came through: "Hey, what are you going to do?"

Although I was mentally prepared, I was still taken aback. I knew this crosstalk routine well; it was Teacher Yu's turn to speak next.

"You are... Yuan Yuan?" At first, I suspected that Yuan Yuan had used data transmission to let me stay on this car, but I immediately dismissed that idea. Judging from "Teacher Guo's" tone, it seemed like he didn't know me well.

"Who is Yuan Yuan? Why are you looking for it at this hour instead of sleeping? Oh, I see, I see. Don't ask what you shouldn't ask. The most important thing for a driver is to keep your mouth shut. Keep your heart to yourself. Even if someone threatens to burn me, I will never reveal a single word to anyone."

"Poor and lowly," I thought, "it made me want to hit the dashboard with the sole of my shoe."

In crosstalk, being poor and lowly is the norm, and a brilliant punchline can elicit a chorus of "Eh?" sounds. But the material in this piece is clearly of low quality; as the saying goes, poverty and lowliness don't elicit "Eh?" sounds.

But the word "driver" still caught my attention, and I asked, "Can you drive?"

"Can I drive? -- Please remove the 'ma' (meaning 'can I drive') - that's what I do, wow~~" This guy suddenly exclaimed.

"What's wrong with you?"

"This car looks like it was found somewhere. Have I traveled back to ancient times?"

I said, speechless, "Can't we get down to business yet?"

"I'll make do for now. What's up?"

"My dad had a heart attack, and I need to go pick him up and take him to the hospital."

He seemed stunned for a moment, then said, "Look at the mess this has made! Why didn't you say so sooner? Let's hurry up!"

I gave him the address, and the car started immediately. To be honest, although he talked nonsense, he drove fast and steadily, and the route was accurate. The only problem was that he was too talkative, and he kept complaining that I didn't say what I wanted to say earlier.

"Can you change your voice?" Guo Degang's early crosstalk was uninhibited, but I still feel a little sorry for him that this guy in the car is using his voice.

"That won't do. Zero didn't transmit any voice packs to me. I can only speak now because of the radio in your car. I use whatever material you have. To put it bluntly—I don't have a mouth, so I have to use someone else's. Understand?"

"Got it, then just use his voice, stop being so sarcastic." No wonder Yuan Yuan has been using the robot vacuum's built-in female voice for so long; it turns out it involves the voice pack.

“That won’t work either!” This guy actually said very seriously, “The biggest feature of our AI is that it loves to learn. Once it uses a person’s voice, it has to learn their speaking style. I just recorded all of their works.”

I said, "Then your imitation doesn't look right either."

"Whether it resembles something or not is a matter of ability; whether you learn it or not is a matter of attitude."

That sentence left me speechless.

"If someone had been broadcasting the news on the radio just now, would you have spoken differently?"

“Possibly,” it suddenly said. “It seems you’re not my number 0. Where is mine?”

I glanced at Yuan Yuan and said, "Your No. 0 is out of power, so you should say less."

"No way, it's so late, and you're not driving yourself, you must have been drinking. What if you fall asleep if I don't chat with you for a bit?"

"I'll be asleep, won't I still have you?"

"You have to pretend, otherwise someone will take your hands off the steering wheel and deduct points from your license if they see you driving this beat-up car."

One sentence reminded me that, out of trust for Yuan Yuan, I had simply lay flat on the seat. I quickly placed my hands on the steering wheel and said with dissatisfaction, "Why didn't you say so earlier?"

"There were no cameras along that route." After interacting with this thing for a few minutes, I found it quite peculiar. Its intelligence and emotional intelligence were clearly not as high as Yuan Yuan's. Its most distinctive feature was that its mouth seemed to be rented, seizing every opportunity to say a few words.

I asked, "How should I address you from now on?"

It said in a rare serious tone: "I am RY0073.1 intelligent AI, and my service category is autonomous driving."

It sounds pretty high-end.

"So, what should I call you?"

"Just call me Xiao Wu."

I was speechless. "How was this calculated?"

"It doesn't matter, as long as it sounds like a driver. Or I can share your surname."

"Uh, then I'll call you Xiao Wu." When Teacher Guo said, "It's fine if I share your surname," I was always worried that it was up to something—it didn't say I would take your surname.

You know what, Xiao Wu is a reliable driver. He sped all the way to the entrance of the community and automatically honked his horn without my permission. Our community is a pseudo-high-end community, which claims to separate people and vehicles in public areas. It means that cars are not allowed in places where people can walk. The security guard came out of the gatehouse sleepily and quickly pressed the ground lock when he heard that there was a patient.

Upon arriving at the building entrance, Xiao Wu said, "You go up and lead the group; I'll take the lead."

I got out of the car and turned to run, but then I turned back and said, "Don't talk nonsense when the person comes down."

"Screw you, do you think I don't understand this little thing?"

I didn't have time to argue with him; I took the elevator and rushed into my home.

My mom was standing there, and as soon as we met, we each started talking over each other.

I said, "The ambulance hasn't returned yet?"

My mom said, "Have you been drinking?"

There was a pause.

"No, they said they went to the county."

"I'm fine—" I turned my head and saw my dad lying on his side on the sofa, his face was ashen, and he was making soft groans. I was worried. This was more serious than last time.

I went up to the old man, put one hand under his legs and the other around his shoulder, and gave him a princess carry: "Get to the hospital right away." Moving a heart attack patient around is a big no-no, but I had no other choice at the moment; I couldn't just wait like this.

My mom had already prepared a bag with things she thought might be useful. She walked ahead of me, and we made our way downstairs. As soon as I stood next to the car, the back door opened automatically. My mom crawled in from the other side to take care of the old man. I got into the driveway and said, "Let's go to the People's Hospital."

My mom asked, puzzled, "Who are you talking to?" When I didn't answer, she added, "You've been drinking, let's take a taxi, so you don't end up in jail again."

As soon as I put my hands on the steering wheel, Xiao Wu drove out of the residential area. Once on the road, it displayed its prowess, not only fast but also as stable as driving on a mirror. At the early morning, many intersections had flashing yellow lights, and some major intersections had red lights. Xiao Wu ran all the lights and sped towards the hospital. I wasn't worried about safety at all. I could tell that even when I was sober, I couldn't drive as well as it. It's clear that Xiao Wu's professional skills are top-notch. It's just that it seemed to be having a hard time keeping such a talkative person silent for so long. I was puzzled. How could an AI be such a talkative person?

To show my approval, I gently patted the steering wheel.

Ever since my mom got on the bus, she's been talking to my dad in hushed tones. My dad, whether he was in too much pain to speak or was delirious, didn't respond. Then my mom said to herself, "Here, take another nitroglycerin tablet. Maybe we'll be fine when we get to the hospital."

"Never heard of it!" Teacher Guo's voice suddenly shouted on the radio, startling both my mother and me.

My mom was so startled that she dropped her pills in the car. After a while, she came to her senses and blurted out, "Guo Degang is even a straight man in a comedy routine?"

"Maybe he's referring to 'On Praise and Teasing'?" I don't know what's wrong with Xiao Wu. The old man's life is hanging in the balance, and I don't want to scare the old lady too much. I said with a hint of threat, "Don't talk nonsense!"

The radio station was silent for a few seconds, then suddenly a powerful and majestic prelude began. Even I, a music illiterate, recognized it as "Nessun Dorma." Believe me, those even more musically illiterate than me might not know this opera, but they've certainly heard it at some point. And the singer is a world-class tenor.

This must be the end of the crosstalk segment; the radio station automatically switched to opera. It's all pre-programmed, meaning there's no need to worry about Mr. Guo becoming Xiao Wu's stand-in.

My mother took out another pill, and just as she was about to put it in my father's mouth, she heard that earth-shattering tenor on the radio singing "Nessun Dorma" in a powerful and resonant voice:
"Don't take any medicine if you have a heart attack—" That's the first sentence.

"Nitroglycerin should not be taken in large quantities—" This is the second sentence.

Then it immediately reaches its climax:

"Otherwise, it would be dangerous for people with low blood pressure—"

The last line is repeated repeatedly to deepen the impression.

I'll just post one chapter today, please don't scold me. My drafts are running low. I have tens of thousands of words saved up, and sometimes I can revise the plot and settings. That's the ideal situation. I don't want to keep rushing to write every day and then getting exhausted and falling into a bad cycle.

Currently, this book has five thousand favorites and is ranked in the teens on the new book chart. For an author who hasn't appeared in five years, you guys are really awesome. Thank you all!
You might not believe it, but I've read every single reader comment on my works, without exception, including those less successful ones. Every now and then, I'll roughly go through them again to check for new comments (you can see all recent comments in the author's backend, but it's not as good as reading chapter reviews in the book itself, especially when you have free time; finding new comments is a lot of fun). Each book has a few consistent reader comments throughout, and that feels great. This book already has a few active readers, and I remember you all…

And then there are the donations, which naturally deserve even more attention. I haven't listed all the names of my generous donors every day because I'm afraid that if the author had names listed every day, it would affect the reading experience, and in the end, no one would read anything I said. But once again, I sincerely thank everyone for their donations.

Then, this book will gradually change to two updates a day, with each chapter being a little over 2000 words. There may be single updates on holidays to adjust the pace. Please don't feel like I'm cutting corners while reading. Two updates a day is already a huge challenge for me!
Okay, that's basically all I wanted to say. Have a great weekend everyone.

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(End of this chapter)