Douluo Continent: My Martial Soul is the Black Dragon, I am the Lord of the Gods

Chapter 339 You Should Hate Me

……

Bibi Dong gave Xuanming a deep look, then glanced at Gu Yuena, who was easily carrying the Trident of the Sea God. Finally, she suppressed her turbulent emotions and turned to walk towards the Papal Palace.

"Come in and talk."

Xuanming and Gu Yuena exchanged a glance and followed. Gu Yuena casually handed the Trident of the Sea God, now back to its normal weight, to Xuanming. Xuanming took it, and the heavy divine weapon still seemed effortless in his hands.

Elders Yue Guan and Gui Mei exchanged bewildered glances and quickly followed. Their hearts were filled with doubt and unease, but judging from His Holiness the Pope's attitude, it didn't seem to be the hostile situation they had anticipated.
Upon entering the solemn Papal Palace, they dismissed their attendants, leaving only a few core elders behind.

Bibi Dong sat on the papal throne, rubbing her temples, her voice tinged with weariness: "What do you plan to do now that you've returned?"

Xuanming did not answer, but instead asked, "What is the current situation of the Martial Soul Empire?"

Bibi Dong sighed, "The expansion has gone relatively smoothly. Although Tian Dou and Xing Luo have joined forces to resist, it's only a matter of time before they are defeated by absolute power."

She gave a general overview of the current territory and military deployment of the Martial Soul Empire, as well as the fierce resistance from the two empires.

Xuanming glanced at the elders present. "On my way back, I saw a lot. The Martial Soul Empire is expanding rapidly, but internal chaos and corruption are also brewing."

He briefly recounted what he had seen along the way: the Soul Masters of the Martial Soul Empire who bullied and levied exorbitant taxes, the burned-down villages, and the displaced refugees.

After listening, Bibi Dong remained silent for a moment: "I know these things."

She rubbed her temples and explained, "When an empire is newly established, it is inevitable that various forces will be forcibly united by force, resulting in a mixed bag of people. Those below, having gained power, become arrogant, oppress the good, and line their own pockets. These things are unavoidable. I have issued orders to restrain them many times, but... the effect is limited."

Her voice carried a hint of helplessness: "The foundation upon which the Martial Soul Empire was built is its powerful military force and its belief in the supremacy of the strong. This ideology is practically the morale of the imperial army. The current chaos is an inevitable consequence of this ideology."

If I were to forcefully suppress them with high-pressure tactics now, the army's morale would inevitably decline. If the Heavenly Dou and Star Luo Empires were to seize upon this and condemn us on a moral high ground, denouncing us as traitors and undermining morale... the consequences would be unimaginable.

She glanced at the elders below, whose expressions varied: "Don't forget, a considerable number of the Soul Masters under our Spirit Empire come from the two great empires and were invited here."

If it weren't for the fact that the original Soul Master Legion of my Spirit Hall was strong enough to stabilize the situation, things would have been in complete chaos long ago.

In the propaganda of both empires, we are portrayed as rebels. On the moral high ground, we have no standing. Now we can only maintain our position through force, and the deep-seated problems within can only be addressed gradually.

Xuanming listened quietly, understanding Bibi Dong's predicament. Severe punishments are necessary in chaotic times, but such punishments can easily breed more violence and disorder. This is almost an unsolvable problem, especially in the early stages of an empire built on rapid expansion through force.

"I was just mentioning it casually," Xuanming said calmly. "I can't worry about these things right now."

His tone was calm, but Bibi Dong and Gu Yuena, who knew him well, could detect a hint of coldness in his words.

If things don't go well, if he has to resort to extreme measures... he doesn't even know how many people will die.

After learning about the official business of the Spirit Empire, Xuanming followed Bibi Dong to the depths of the Papal Palace.

"You've only been on Poseidon Island for half a year, why are you back so suddenly? Where's Nana?" Bibi Dong asked with some concern.

“She’s fine. I came back because of you.” Xuanming brushed the hair from his forehead, revealing the golden trident mark.

Bibi Dong's eyes changed slightly, "You...you passed the divine test? The Sea God's?"

Xuanming nodded. "It is the sea god, but it's not just the sea god. It's very complicated, and I'm not entirely sure either."

“You…” Bibi Dong sensed Xuanming’s unfathomable aura, which seemed even more powerful than hers.

In just six months, such a big change has actually happened?
"Which exam are you on?" Bibi Dong couldn't help but ask.

"I just finished the second test," Xuanming said.

Bibi Dong was taken aback. "So fast?"

Only half a year has passed since Xuanming set off for Seagod Island, and he has already completed two assessments?

“No, you mean it’s because of me?” Bibi Dong frowned slightly.

"The Rakshasa God Test?"

“Hmm.” Xuanming nodded, looking directly at Bibi Dong. “My third test is called ‘Slaying Evil and Pacifying the Soul.’ Its content is to deal with the hidden dangers in the inheritance of the Rakshasa God’s position and stabilize the state of the inheritor.”

He paused, carefully observing Bibi Dong's reaction: "Have you noticed any strange changes lately? Besides the stagnation of your spiritual test, have you noticed anything unusual in your emotions, thoughts, or body?"

Bibi Dong's pupils contracted slightly, and she almost subconsciously avoided Xuan Ming's gaze, her tone a little stiff: "No, everything is fine."

But Xuanming clearly caught the fleeting panic and evasiveness in her eyes. She was lying. The Rakshasa's malevolent influence couldn't possibly have occurred without warning.

Seeing Bibi Dong's forced composure, Xuan Ming sighed silently. He stepped forward and, to Bibi Dong's somewhat surprised look, gently pulled her into his arms.

"Don't worry, and don't be afraid." Xuanming's voice rang in her ear, deep and steady, "I'm here."

Surrounded by this sudden embrace and feeling the reassuring aura emanating from Xuanming, Bibi Dong's tense mind relaxed slightly, but what followed was an even more complex and indescribable surge of emotions.

She leaned against Xuanming's chest, remained silent for a moment, then suddenly whispered in a tone tinged with self-mockery and bitterness, "I saw it... that night, you and Gu Yuena..."

Xuanming's body stiffened almost imperceptibly.

Bibi Dong seemed oblivious, continuing to speak, her voice filled with a bitterness and confusion that even she herself didn't fully understand: "I don't know what's wrong with me... I told myself a long time ago that there would be no future for us. It's already a luxury that I can maintain the status quo."

“I originally… hoped that you and Nana would be together. I know that child's thoughts better than anyone else. I hope she can be happy, that she can get what she wants, and that she won't end up on the same path as me…”

Her voice trailed off, tinged with weakness, "But you chose Gu Yuena first... You and Nana have kept your distance in the City of Slaughter for nearly three years, why her of all people..."

These words, like a long-suppressed volcano, found an outlet at this moment.

She knew she shouldn't say it, shouldn't have such emotions; it wasn't in line with her identity as the Pope, nor with the invisible boundary she had always set for herself between herself and Xuanming.

But at this moment, under the sudden embrace from Xuanming and the immense pressure of the divine test, she couldn't control herself.

Xuanming listened quietly without interrupting.

He could sense the deep-seated obsession and resentment in Bibi Dong's words, a resentment that even she herself might not be able to clearly define, as well as the complex emotions of a "mother" who hoped that Hu Liena could be happy.

All of this was intertwined with the restless, malevolent thoughts within her, making her mind even more chaotic.

“You should be glad you took all those girls with you, otherwise… I might have already taken action against them.” Bibi Dong’s tone was tinged with coldness.

Gu Yuena was the first to notice her unusual behavior, so she took her to Sunset Forest and hid her in the Ice and Fire Yin-Yang Well.

If it weren't for that, Xuanming would have already killed those young girls during the years she spent in the City of Slaughter.

Especially Gu Yuena!

“Why don’t you attack me? That’s my problem,” Xuanming said.

"It's because I can't bear to part with it, and it's also because I'm greedy. The root of these problems lies with me. Even if you want to hate or resent me, you should hate or resent me."

"They are innocent."

Bibi Dong suddenly raised her head, her purple eyes filled with pain, anger, and a twisted love: "Hate you? Resent you? Of course I hate you! I hate that you had to appear in my life! I hate that you, who are so much younger than me, made me not like myself! I hate that you gave me these weak, unwanted emotions!"

Her voice trembled, and the Rakshasa power seemed to be aroused by her intense emotions. Wisps of purplish-black aura spread uncontrollably from her body, causing the temperature in the room to drop a few degrees.

“But…” Her voice suddenly dropped, filled with endless weariness and confusion, “What can I do with you? Kill you? I can’t do that… Hurt you? I can’t do that either…”

She looked into Xuanming's eyes. "Xuanming, tell me, what should I do? This path of demons is becoming more and more painful for me, and I'm becoming less and less like myself. But if I give up, what about my years of perseverance, my revenge, my empire...?"

This was the first time she had so openly revealed her vulnerability and struggles to Xuanming.

Rakshasa's malice amplified her paranoia and possessiveness, while also making her feel more clearly the pain and distortion brought about by this power.

She knew she had gone mad long ago! Qian Xunji had ruined everything she had!
That night, she lost not only her innocence, but also her self!

She had intended to live her life recklessly like this, but then Xuanming appeared. He just hovered in front of her and forcefully pulled her back, even though he had never thought of such a thing.

She wanted to escape, to be as crazy as before, but that damned nine-tailed celestial fox kept haunting her mind! It kept showing Xuanming to her, giving her no chance at all!

She can't be as crazy as before, but she can't stay sober either!

Because once she stays awake and calm, she experiences immense pain!

Her life is a complete mess! There's no going back!

Xuanming listened quietly to Bibi Dong's almost collapsing whispers, watching the pain, anger, resentment, and twisted yet incredibly real attachment intertwined in her eyes, and a complex emotion that was hard to describe welled up in his heart.

He understood that Bibi Dong's current state was not only due to the erosion of Rakshasa's evil thoughts, but also the complete eruption of her emotions that had been suppressed for many years and twisted by cruel fate, under the pressure of the stagnation of the divine examination and the stimulation of seeing him close to other women.

She hated him, resented him, yet couldn't truly hurt him; this contradiction tore her apart.

(End of this chapter)