Winter Returns

Chapter 221 Important Things in Life

Chapter 221 Important Things in Life (Part 2)
"Actually, in her aunt's eyes, she has always been a somewhat lonely child. Does making many friends mean she is no longer lonely?"

Zhang Shutong was speechless for a moment. How could someone with so many friends feel lonely?
The woman shook her head:

"Think about it, when you're alone you can cry and make a fuss, you can do whatever you want, but what if one day you're surrounded by a lot of people? You can't just stay silent and have a cold face because you're in a bad mood. Who can really understand you?"

"But if she tries to explain, each time she does it will reopen old wounds. That's why she acts like nothing happened. No one will do what you want, even if your family is rich or your father is a big boss. She knows all that, so she just hides the corner she doesn't want anyone to see."

So this is the "price" Aunt Wu was talking about. Zhang Shutong thought, "Yes, many things are double-edged swords. Now you are not in control of your own destiny. There is noise and commotion around you, and you can't even find a quiet place to grieve alone."

"But she's also very awkward. She has a lot of rules for herself. Pretending to be nonchalant doesn't mean she's willing to deliberately please anyone. So every Christmas, she thinks that would be very happy and lively, so she'll ask her family to put a Christmas tree at school and organize some activities so that her classmates can have a blast. But she herself won't participate, she won't give anyone a gift, and she won't accept anyone's gift. That's her own awkward insistence. Every year, she and President Gu leave at night. When everyone else is happiest, she's already closed her eyes on the plane."

The woman whispered:
"But have you noticed that what she calls 'that would be fun and lively' is something she has never actually experienced; it's all just her imagination?"

"How would a girl who has never actually spent Christmas with anyone know what Christmas is? Maybe she learned it from a book or from other people. That's why you think she's a bit mean. She's just a clumsy girl, not very bright. Don't take it to heart."

Zhang Shutong had no choice but to say:

"I don't blame her, I'm happy, I just..."

"As long as you're happy." Aunt Wu smiled happily.

Zhang Shutong smiled on the surface, but in his heart he thought, "Gu Qiumian, you're really a bit clumsy. You didn't have any bad intentions during the chocolate incident, but you just didn't know how to get along with people and seemed a bit awkward. As a result, you messed everything up and never had a chance to make up for it. You haven't been able to make any friends. Every time I see her, she's just sitting by the window with a lonely back."

Why is it that even though I've made so many friends, I'm still so clumsy and lonely?

He remembered Gu Qiu Mian telling him that the last time she saw her mother before she passed away was one night. That night was nothing out of the ordinary. The person you love sits by your bedside and kisses your forehead. She turns off the light and says goodnight. And then you never see each other again.

Zhang Shutong suddenly felt a little sad. He also suddenly remembered why he was sad. It turned out that he had met Gu Qiumian not on the day he transferred schools, but much earlier. They were both students who had transferred from the provincial capital. The day before school started, he took a boat to the island. When the ferry docked, Zhang Shutong saw a girl standing on the harbor.

The sky that day was so blue it looked like it had been washed clean, and the wind was so pleasant. The girl waited quietly for the man on the boat, surrounded by a group of people.

But why did she look so lonely? That was a question Zhang Shutong couldn't figure out.

But back then he was still a wild child, never lingering on problems he couldn't understand. When Zhang Shutong arrived at his new home, he took advantage of his parents cleaning to sneak out on his bike. He knew that the most lively place on the island was only in the center, and the outer area was a desolate wilderness. He stopped in the northern part of the island, simply because he saw that girl again.

She walked out of a small cemetery. The weather was sunny, but dewdrops rolled down the weeds she stepped on.

Zhang Shutong didn't know why she came here, nor did he know who she was commemorating. He knew the girl had a happy family; her father was the man who had walked off the ship with a smile. Her father looked like a rich and handsome man, and her mother was young and beautiful. Of course, Zhang Shutong didn't see the woman at the island's harbor, but before boarding the ship, at the city's dock. A woman kissed a man's cheek twice, leaving a very light lipstick mark. At that moment, he only had one thought in his mind: since they kissed, they must be husband and wife.

The girl had run away. Zhang Shutong saw the person driving to find her from afar. But with a very rich father and a very beautiful mother, she really didn't know what the girl had to be sad about.

Zhang Shutong remembered that when her scarf was stepped on, Gu Qiumian vaguely said that the scarf was her mother's... She didn't finish her sentence, but Zhang Shutong could guess what she wanted to say. She was simply saying that the scarf was a gift from her mother. But at that time, he thought, "You're a young lady. It's just a scarf. Even if you lose it, can't you ask your beautiful mother to knit another one?"

“The scarf she always liked to wear was actually a Christmas gift from her mother,” Aunt Wu said. “It symbolizes peace and safety, so she hasn’t accepted gifts for many years.”

No wonder when she was playing Truth or Dare, and someone asked her what her most unforgettable Christmas gift was, she casually brushed it off.

You can change some things, but there are always some things you can't change.

Zhang Shutong regretted not remembering this incident sooner. If he had remembered it earlier, he would never have just sat silently in the car seat watching in the wilderness of the northern part of the island not long ago.

Zhang Shutong silently apologized in his heart.

"But don't pity her."

Zhang Shutong raised his head blankly and looked at the woman in front of him in surprise.

Aunt Wu said very seriously:
She doesn't need your pity.

The other person emphasized the word "you," and then Aunt Wu said softly:

"She knows she's already luckier than most children. If she really needed anyone's pity or sympathy, how could she have persevered until today?"

What were you talking about with Aunt Wu?

A crisp voice rang in their ears, and Zhang Shutong and Aunt Wu turned their heads at the same time. Gu Qiumian came out of the bathroom.

"Mianmian, did you do something bad today?" Aunt Wu suppressed the pity in her eyes and said with a light laugh, "Your classmate came to tell on you."

Gu Qiumian glared at Zhang Shutong, but Zhang Shutong didn't dare to glare at Aunt Wu.

"You two talk first, I just remembered there's a blanket I haven't brought in yet."

After she finished speaking, she walked away lightly.

While the two remained in the living room, Zhang Shutong was still pondering the words they had just exchanged. He met Gu Qiumian's gaze but couldn't utter a single word.

Perhaps he's always been like this, so no one could tell anything was wrong. Gu Qiumian sat down on the sofa, propped her chin on her hand, and asked:

"Aren't you disappointed that there's no decoration in the house?"

"It's alright, I've had a lot of fun today anyway," Zhang Shutong muttered. "Are you sleepy? If you want to sleep, I'll go first."

What if I say I'm not sleepy?

"Then I'll keep you company for a while." Zhang Shutong awkwardly picked up the remote control. "Want to watch a movie? I recommend one by Stephen Chow."

"I don't want to watch it," she said after thinking for a moment.

"So what do you want to see?"

"How dare you say that?" Gu Qiumian said irritably, "You always say you'll go to the movies with me, but have you ever actually watched one?"

Zhang Shutong felt a little guilty, and he quickly said that he would watch it even if he didn't go home today.

Gu Qiumian snorted:

"Who wants you to stay here instead of going home? Dream on."

"Then what should we do?" Zhang Shutong racked his brains. "You said you wanted to play Truth or Dare last time, shall we continue?"

"No need," she chuckled and shook her head. "Actually, I'm already a little sleepy."

"Yeah……"

“I usually go to bed early today.” Gu Qiumian waved her hand dismissively. “Let’s go, let’s go. I know you’ve wanted to leave for a while. I’ll see you off.”

Zhang Shutong was pushed to his feet. He didn't know whether he should leave or not. He felt that Aunt Wu was right. Gu Qiumian didn't need anyone's pity. Not long ago, there was a girl sitting on the back of a bicycle. She never told you where she was going or what she was going to do. Her thoughts were as unpredictable as ever. A faint loneliness appeared on her face. She made a wish under the moonlight, but at this moment, a serene smile was on her lips.

Just like this tranquil night.

Since she ultimately didn't reveal her mother's situation, why be the one to spoil the mood? Zhang Shutong turned to look out the window. It was dark and quiet there. There were only the three of them in the villa. After he left, there would be only two of them. Only one person would stay on the second floor of the entire villa at night. Soon, the scene she would see through the large French windows would be exactly the same as what she was seeing now.

That's just the kind of person he is. He usually walks very fast, but if he suddenly stops, people will notice something is wrong. Gu Qiu Mian stopped and lowered her eyes:

"Don't lie to me, did Aunt Wu say something to you?"

Gu Qiumian raised her head again and looked intently into his eyes.

“She said…” Zhang Shutong organized his words.

"Do not lie to me."

In the end, Zhang Shutong also didn't say anything about it. He was actually quite clumsy and didn't know what to say at this moment, so he just changed his words based on his intuition:
"Would you like to come with me for a walk, to the mall?"

A few hours earlier, they were strolling around the market when the Christmas tree lit up at eight o'clock. Everyone around them took out their phones, and even Ruoping was excited. Gu Qiumian, however, seemed oblivious. At that time, Zhang Shutong thought she thought her family's Christmas tree was nothing special, but that was not true at all.

"I haven't finished get off work yet; it's still ten minutes until ten o'clock."

Since she hadn't finished get off work, it meant that the giant Christmas tree was still burning. It was the biggest Christmas tree that could be found on the entire island. While her mother was still celebrating Christmas with her, the provincial capital had amusement parks, a CBD, and bustling streets. A mere Christmas tree was nothing special.

But Zhang Shutong thought that Gu Qiumian probably hadn't seen a Christmas tree on this night in a long time.

"But we should go see the Christmas tree for Christmas, shall we?"

Gu Qiumian paused, her smile vanished, and she bit her lip, whispering:

"Are you stupid? What are you doing with only ten minutes left..."

"I'm sure I can ride it."

Zhang Shutong earnestly assured her.

The roar of the motorcycle echoed along the winding mountain road, and the bright headlights pierced a hole in the night. Zhang Shutong was completely focused as he sped along in the cold wind.

Gu Qiumian sat behind him, one arm around his waist. Not so long ago, they had escaped from the palatial villa. Back then, they didn't have a destination, but now they had a clear direction.

At 9:58 a.m. on December 25, Zhang Shutong squeezed the brakes and stumbled to a stop in front of the mall. The tires screeched on the ground. He subconsciously pursed his lips and punched the handlebars hard.

They were still one step late.

It was pitch black in front of me.

Yes, I should have thought of that. Although the mall closes at 10 pm, how could it start closing at exactly that time? The preparations for closing have started long ago, such as cleaning, dismissing customers, and taking away the Christmas decorations that can be seen everywhere, including turning off the lights of the Christmas tree.

They knew this, but no one expected it, so they didn't speak a word the whole way, only feeling the night wind roaring in their ears. Now the motorcycles were stopped in front of the mall without stopping, and it was already dark in front of the mall.

There were hardly any people in the entire mall. At the temporary market outside the entrance, a few vendors were packing up their stalls. By the light of their portable lamps, the outline of the Christmas tree could be seen.

Zhang Shutong took off his helmet, revealing a silent face.

I still missed it.

When people miss something, they subconsciously search for a possibility while feeling regretful. For example, if he had found out earlier why Gu Qiu Mian went to that cemetery, or if he had asked Aunt Wu earlier why they didn't celebrate Christmas at the villa, or if they could have ridden their bicycles a little faster on their way home to change motorcycles...

Unfortunately, there is no such thing.

Zhang Shutong straddled the car, with Gu Qiumian behind him. She could see the scene in front of her just as early as he had. She hadn't said a word since the car stopped. Zhang Shutong was a little afraid to look at her, not because he was ashamed, but because this was her first Christmas on the island. He had promised her that he would go see the brightly lit Christmas tree, but he still hadn't kept his promise.

It wasn't a deep regret. Gu Qiu Mian had always been a strong person. There was something she could never let go of. This matter didn't change no matter how many friends she made, but she still hid her loneliness very deeply, so that no one would ever discover it.

Zhang Shutong used to think that once her interpersonal relationships improved, she would no longer have any worries. But how could that be? She was just very stubborn. How could someone like her be disappointed just because she couldn't see a Christmas tree?

But Zhang Shutong was still somewhat disappointed. He kept thinking about where he could find a Christmas tree when a faint fragrance wafted into his nostrils:

"I've already seen it."

"...It was clearly destroyed."

He saw Gu Qiumian's beautiful eyes, not particularly bright, but sparkling in the night.

“I told you you’re a bit slow,” she suddenly laughed, pointing to the motorcycle’s headlights. “Then what’s this?”

Zhang Shutong was stunned for a moment.

"Turn on the lights quickly, I want to take a picture!"

He quickly inserted the key, turned it hard, and the bright white headlights illuminated the Christmas tree in front of him, along with the girl's silhouette.

She took many photos in a row, as if she had seen a new and fascinating toy, and was extremely excited:

"Take a picture of me."

Without saying a word, Gu Qiumian handed him the phone.

Zhang Shutong pressed the shutter, and in the flash, a silver light unexpectedly shone into his eyes.

Zhang Shutong closed his eyes and opened them again, his gaze lingering on Gu Qiumian's neck, where a four-leaf clover-shaped necklace hung.

……

"So?" someone asked slowly at eleven o'clock at night, "That's all?"

"More or less," Zhang Shutong said.

"I did something really romantic!" Qingyi exclaimed excitedly.

"well enough."

"I think you're becoming more and more insightful."

"Ahem, let's not talk about that now."