Nirvana Top Laner, Reborn Tokyo Girl

Chapter 11, Section 10: Recalling the Past
It's probably not that exaggerated.

However, in nature, they are roughly the same for the nine truths.

In short, in her opinion, Shimamura Yuna was someone who was completely disconnected from games.

She couldn't help but scrutinize this former close friend who felt both familiar and unfamiliar to her.

Then, a conclusion is drawn.
'I still just can't connect her with the words "game streamer."'

Although that's what she thought in her heart, she didn't say anything to discourage Shimamura Yuna.

Instead, he asked gently, "Do you have enough money?"

Upon hearing this question, Shimamura Yuna hesitated for a moment.

If I had to say whether it's enough or not
With an initial investment of 30,000, after two weeks of gambling income being deposited into my account, it will double and I estimate it will be over 100,000. That should be enough to buy a computer that can run games.

However, we'll probably have to cut back on the configuration and peripherals.

As a former professional gamer, she is still quite sensitive to peripherals and frame rates, so if possible, she would like a computer with higher specifications and better performance.

But sharing such things with the nine principles right in front of us is meaningless.

Therefore, she simply replied casually, "I don't know, but it should be enough."

Despite saying that, the anxiety she couldn't hide on her face betrayed her true thoughts.

This anxiety was keenly captured by Kujo Akari.

Eager to restore her relationship with Shimamura Yuna, she suddenly felt as if she had found a key breakthrough, and her eyes lit up.

That's right, she found a way to take the conversation a step further.

It's money.

The breakthrough point is money.

Yuna Shimamura is undoubtedly currently troubled by a lack of money.

Isn't this a coincidence?

As the daughter of an entrepreneur, she has plenty of money.

Although she is still a minor, her parents still restrict her spending and prevent her from spending money recklessly.

But if it's just a computer, she should be able to scrape together the money from her allowance.

Thinking of this, she immediately asked, "Um... you want to buy a computer, right?"

Yuna Shimamura nodded: "That's right."

After receiving her affirmative answer, Akari Kujo immediately rushed up to her and said, "I'll give you the money."

"Eh?"

Before Shimamura Yuna could respond, Kujo Akari said, "However, my help is not free."

"I hope, I hope, that I can buy you a computer in exchange for your forgiveness."

"I can afford up to 300,000 yen."

"So I hope you can give me this opportunity to go back to how things were before."

原谅
To be honest, this word really made Shimamura Yuna a bit speechless.

She couldn't understand why the other person would suddenly ask her to 'forgive her'.

Forgive what?
Has she done anything that was bad for herself?

When the two of you broke up, wasn't it primarily your fault?
Even if someone is to apologize, shouldn't they apologize first?
What exactly does forgiveness mean? What's there to forgive?

Why was she being so humble and subservient to me, as if she were begging me?

Completely bewildered by the turn of events, she stared blankly at Akari Kujo, unsure of what to say, and fell into complete silence.

When Akari Kujo saw that she was silent, she thought that she was unwilling to accept her kindness, and she became anxious.

He had been maintaining a composed and restrained demeanor until now, but his eagerness completely broke down.

So, all those words that were previously too sentimental to say were spoken at this moment.

She even exaggeratedly performed a dogeza (a traditional Chinese prostration), which startled Shimamura Yuna.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It was my fault back then."

"I shouldn't have treated you like that. I knew you had depression, I knew I couldn't control your emotions, but I still couldn't be understanding."

"I'm sorry, it's my fault, please forgive me. I can't stand this kind of life anymore, no matter what."

"I want to go back to how things were before, I want our relationship to be like it was before. It might sound a little selfish, but..."

But I hope you can give me a chance.

As she spoke, Akari Kujo became increasingly agitated, and tears welled up in her eyes.

However, seeing her pitiful appearance, Shimamura Yuna was completely dumbfounded.

What's going on? What exactly is going on?

'How did things suddenly take such a turn?'

She first rubbed her temples, feeling a bit of a headache, then stepped forward to support Akari Kujo's shoulders, helped her up, and asked her very seriously, "Don't cry. I didn't mean to look down on you, nor did I say I wouldn't forgive you. I'm just a little confused about what happened."

"So can you tell me first what's going on? Why did you suddenly come to find me? And what do you mean by asking me to forgive you?"

Seeing that there seemed to be a chance for things to turn around, Kujo Mari's eyes lit up again.

She first wiped away her tears, then nodded repeatedly and said, "Okay." After that, she spent a little time explaining her motivation.

It is said to be about motivation.
Actually, most of the time was spent expressing how much he missed Shimamura Yuna during this period, how much he regretted being separated from Shimamura Yuna, and constantly reflecting on the things he did that were inappropriate, saying that he shouldn't have argued with Shimamura Yuna.

In short, he rambled on and on, sounding both nauseating and pathetic, like a man begging his ex-girlfriend to get back together. It gave Shimamura Yuna a bit of goosebumps.

She was even a little confused.

Does getting back together with a friend require such humility?

'Besides, wasn't I the one in the wrong back then?'

However, soon, something the other person said to her made her understand a little better why the other person had such an attitude.

Akari Kujo said, "The reason I didn't come to see you before, but am coming to see you now, is because I watched a movie."

"After watching that movie, I finally realized that I was wrong back then."

The movie that inspired Akari Kujo to make a change is called "My Husband Has Depression".

This film is a romance movie made by the famous Japanese actor Masato Sakai more than ten years ago.

The main plot of the film is roughly about a husband, played by Masato Sakai, who suffers from depression. His wife then takes on the responsibility of supporting the family and diligently cares for him every day. That's roughly the story.
In terms of story structure, this film is actually quite bland.

However, what particularly attracted Akari Kujo was the portrayal of her husband, who suffered from depression, in the film.

Depressed, emotionally sensitive, and with a strong tendency toward self-destruction.

When he was burdened by his wife's child, he would even feel saddened by her unintentional displays of impatience, and then attempt suicide.

He usually tries very hard to appear happy, but he just can't seem to manage it.

After watching this film, Kujo Mari suddenly realized...
'Isn't that Yuna guy?'

Although she knew that Shimamura Yuna had depression, to be honest, she didn't have much understanding of the illness itself.

She just felt that she was in a bad mood and under a lot of pressure.

She might even feel that Shimamura Yuna was deliberately using this illness to throw a tantrum at her.

However, after watching her husband in the drama, she suddenly realized that Shimamura Yuna might not be as willful as she thought.

She may be unable to control her emotions, or she may be in a deep abyss of self-doubt and self-destructive tendencies.

As her close friend, instead of tolerating and understanding her like the wife in the drama, he broke off the relationship with her because he couldn't stand it for a while.

Is this really true?
She felt deeply uneasy about this, to the point that she couldn't eat or sleep properly.

After keeping it bottled up inside for a while, she couldn't help but confide her thoughts to her current high school classmate.

She recounted her relationship with Shimamura Yuna in detail, from her Yuna's development of depression to her breaking off their friendship.

She also shared her psychological transformation after reading "My Husband Got Depression".

She had a good relationship with that friend. Although they couldn't be as close as she was with Shimamura Yuna, she could at least confide in someone.

So, after hearing her story, her friend carefully gave his opinion.

"Logically speaking, as friends, we should support and understand each other completely."

"Just like the couple in 'My Husband Got Depression,' right?"

"But that's an idealistic approach. In reality, no one is obligated to unconditionally support another person, no matter how pitiful or painful they are. If they bring you the same pain, then drawing a clear line in time is not a mistake. At most, you might be criticized for being heartless. The steadfast tolerance that will bring you pain, the persistence of love that makes you willing to endure pain—this is just a form used in movies and TV dramas to show the depth of the relationship between the male and female protagonists."

"So, think about it carefully. You and she aren't husband and wife, just friends. How much of a friendship is needed for you to endure that kind of pain? That's something worth considering."

"To be honest, if you ever end up like your friend, I'll stay far away from you. It's important to cut your losses in time."

"But it also depends on how much of a friend you are, right? In my opinion, you are just a good friend to me, not someone I can tolerate unconditionally. So if you get depression, I will stay away from you and will definitely not go to the level of a couple in a movie."

"However, on the other hand, if she really holds such an important place in your heart, so important that you still feel resentful and can't eat or sleep every day, feeling that you made a mistake, then shouldn't you re-examine this matter from a subjective perspective?"

After saying this, the friend paused for a moment.

Next, a summary was made.

"But in any case, the decision is yours. If you feel that you really have no obligation to tolerate her mood swings caused by her mental illness, then don't go to her."

"If you feel that you did make a mistake, that you feel a moral burden, that she is important to you and that you are willing to bear such pain, and that you still miss her even so, then go find her."

Although what the other party said was very straightforward, it did provide Kujo Akira with very reasonable guidance.

Yes
Regardless of whether Shimamura Yuna suffers from depression, the fact remains that she experienced emotional pain.

Whether or not you choose to tolerate her is entirely up to you.

Even if I were to stand firmly by her side, it wouldn't be an obligation I was obligated to take for granted, but rather one of the choices I could make.
So, should I make this choice or not?
She was immediately caught in a dilemma regarding this issue.

At the end of that day, the friend who had been talking to her about these things made a joke with her before leaving.

"If one day I also develop depression and have a similar conflict with you, will you feel conflicted and burdened for me?"

"After we break up, will you still be thinking about whether or not to come back to apologize and make up with me?"

Akari Kujo rolled her eyes at her without hesitation and said, "Impossible. I would kick you aside without hesitation. You and I are not at that level yet. If you make me unhappy, I will kick you out."

"Ugh, how cruel!"

And just like that, their conversation ended.

But ever since that day, Kujo Sensei has been struggling with these issues.

More and more memories of her and Shimamura Yuna flooded her mind, recalling the happy times they spent playing and laughing together.

(End of this chapter)