Am I being simulated by their love affair.

Chapter 447 Yamami Maki Cannot Change
"Matsueda-kun, let's break up."

The girl spoke so softly that Jun Matsueda, sitting opposite her, almost didn't hear it.

He looked at Yamami Maki, but the girl lowered her eyes, avoiding his gaze.

The sound of customers' crisp leather shoes echoed in the aisle next to their seats, followed by the creak of a glass door being pushed open. The wind chimes on the door swayed melodiously, and a waiter carrying a tray passed by the two, leaving behind the clatter of footsteps.

Jun Matsue leaned back in his chair and let out a long sigh.

He had been holding this in for over a month, and now he finally let out a sigh.

"why?"

Yamami Maki's shoulders trembled slightly. "The reason... I just told Matsueda-san."

"We broke up, will my senior be happy?"

The girl shook her head.

Do you think I'll be happy?

"But Matsueda-san isn't happy either." The girl's voice was a little hoarse.

"The way you sang 'Moment' on stage almost made me cry."

"That's because you weren't in the audience, so I can't be happy. Since you watched the performance video, didn't you hear our lyrics—'I want to keep you by my side'?"

Jun Matsue stirred the macchiato in front of him with a spoon. The delicate white milk foam mixed with the coffee underneath, becoming cloudy and nauseating.

"But I'll only make you less and less like yourself. Matsueda Jun who can't perform, Matsueda Jun who has to report back to the orphanage, Matsueda Jun who has to learn a bunch of boring things."

"Matsueda-kun, this isn't just about feeling bad for a week or a month; it's about living this kind of life from now on—"

“I already said I did!” Jun Matsue interrupted the girl before she could finish speaking.

The boy's voice inevitably grew louder, easily shattering the quiet conversations in the store, and all eyes turned to the window.

A shop assistant walked over to the young man and said, "Sir, please be careful."

Jun Matsueda apologized to her, and after the clerk left, he looked at the senior student sitting opposite him.

"Let's go out and talk."

The wind chimes hanging on the door rang again. The boy, who had only drunk half a cup of caramel macchiato, was left in his seat—he used to finish even the barley tea served to Tomatsu Yuka by himself.

When Matsueda Jun learned at the coffee shop that Yami Maki was going to Kyoto, he ordered an iced latte, while the girl drank a hot latte. From then on, he decided to only drink the same coffee as his senior, even if it only served as a little psychological comfort.

Maki Yami ordered a caramel macchiato this time because she remembered what Tomatsu Yuka had said to her.

The two walked out of the coffee shop. The girl subconsciously reached for Matsueda Jun's hand, but when she tried to pull it back, her right hand was already being held by the boy.

"See, my senior clearly doesn't want to leave me, does she?"

Yamami Maki struggled a little with her small hand, but of course she couldn't break free and had no choice but to let the boy continue to hold her hand.

"I'm sorry, I know you said that in the store just now because you wanted what was best for me."

Jun Matsue stopped with the girl at the traffic light. The crowd at the intersection was like an ant colony, crowded and busy.

"But you can be a little selfish. You can enjoy Matsueda Jun, which is all yours. Isn't that better?"

"You should put your own happiness first," he said, his tone full of helplessness.

“Because I like Matsueda-san.” Yami Maki said so matter-of-factly, “Matsueda-san’s happiness is my happiness, and I don’t want to see you continue to do things that make you unhappy.”

Even if we can't be together?

Jun Matsue looked up at the gray-blue sky, the sounds of pedestrians' footsteps and vehicles constantly surrounding him.

Let me take you home first.

They entered Shinjuku Station again, passing through crowds of people with different expressions. The clattering sound of trains passing by penetrated the walls, gathered and echoed in the passageway, pressing heavily on the shoulders of the young boy and girl.

Once on the train, the two remained silent throughout the journey, but their hands were still tightly clasped together—this close connection was enough to anchor them firmly in each other's coordinates as they traversed Tokyo's intricate underground network.

Stepping out of Jiyugaoka Station, the compact and complex high-rise buildings suddenly appear low, and the young men and women walk under the low-hanging sky, gradually moving away from the crowds.

"We clearly like each other, so why did things turn out like this?" Jun Matsueda's tone was more confused than ever before.

“Of course it’s my fault,” Yami Maki said without hesitation.

"Because I am weak, incompetent, and unworthy to be with you."

"Because I couldn't learn to resist, Matsueda was forced to change."

"Because I can't shine myself, I've caused Songzhi to be covered in dust along with me."

"If I could be braver and more determined, I could stand with Matsueda without hesitation."

However, courage, like hardship, is not a necessity on the path of life.

"It's clearly your family's fault!" Jun Matsueda finally couldn't help but say, words he had always kept hidden in his heart.

Why let that corrupt and inflexible family hinder your pursuit of happiness?

The boy's voice faded away into the empty street.

“...Because I’m the daughter of the Yami family.” Yami Maki’s smile was so innocent that it made him feel foolish.

“My parents, sister, and grandfather all live here. I can’t just complain about the bad things about my family when they don’t meet my expectations, and forget the good things they’ve done for me over the past twenty years.”

"So of course Matsueda is not wrong; it was I who gave up my right to pursue happiness."

A glimmer of light once appeared in the girl's lifeless, twilight world, but she chose to close her eyes.

"Does it have to be this way?" Jun Matsue didn't want to give up. "Even if you don't want to change, I can still stay by your side."

Yamami Maki shook her head firmly.

“Matsueda-kun can’t stay by my side forever—your life has its own meaning. Even if you have that thought now, what about a year from now? What about ten years from now? Are you going to tell yourself every time, ‘This is all for my happiness,’ and then ignore your own will?”

Matsueda Jun was somewhat dazed. The reasoning he heard from his senior was actually similar to that of the girl in the apartment yesterday.

Therefore, he could not refute it.

"So breaking up is the best thing," Yami Maki said, smiling as she shed tears.

"We weren't even in a romantic relationship to begin with."

Under the rapidly darkening sky, the girl wiped away her tears, the falling teardrops shimmering in the fading light of the setting sun.

"Please, Matsueda-san, put me down and keep moving forward."

Their sun has set.

(End of this chapter)