Am I being simulated by their love affair.

Chapter 586 In the rain that confuses time, May comes to an end.
"What did Matsueda originally think a third-year student would be like?"

Natsumi Imokawa held the yogurt cup in both hands on her lap, turned her chair around, and looked at the boy.

Jun Matsueda blinked. "It must be a busy yet peaceful daily life, a mix of exams and part-time jobs."

His current expression is somewhat similar to his own on the TV screen just now.

"Isn't that right?" The girl tilted her head. "Although I don't need to work, I spend all day reading and studying, or filming and editing videos. I feel like I don't have enough time at all."

The boy put one hand on the keyboard, "If that's the case..."

However, the main theme of his life had completely changed, he thought to himself as he looked at the cursor jumping around on the game button.

"So, Matsueda's been unhappy again lately?" The girl moved a little closer to him, holding a yogurt. "Is it because of Tomatsu-kun?"

"...It's all about love."

"Love?" The boy's words were vague, so Natsumi Imokawa had no choice but to move a little closer.

The girl was somewhat surprised, as the word "love" was rarely mentioned by Matsue—although the two had talked a lot about love, it usually started with "Tomatsu's matter," "senpai's matter," or "Mochizuki's matter."

When was the last time Matsueda mentioned love...? Imokawa Natsumi picked up her yogurt and took a sip.

It seems like it was about two months ago when the boy sat in a coffee shop and asked the girl if he should be in a relationship—it was the first time she had ever been asked about dating.

What was her answer back then?

For some reason, Natsumi Imokawa felt a strange tension when she heard Jun Matsue bring up the topic again.

With her feet firmly on the ground, she slid the office chair a little closer to the boy.

"Has Matsueda decided to have a serious relationship with Tomatsu-san? Or has he started dating Mochizuki-san?"

"...The situation is a bit complicated." Jun Matsueda's desire to confide was stuck in his throat.

What should he say?
He had made love with Mochizuki Haruka and was prepared to take responsibility, but Mochizuki Haruka didn't plan to date, so he and Tomatsu Yuka didn't break up either.

If he were to actually say these words, Jun Matsue felt his conscience would ache under the girl's disdainful gaze.

"Anyway, I'm not feeling too well right now," he sighed.

"You didn't tell me, how am I supposed to know why you're not feeling well!" Natsumi Imokawa pouted, a little dissatisfied.

The boy opened his mouth, and the girl leaned closer. Their eyes met several times in the narrow space.

"I think I'm going to... be two-timing."

Having finally gotten the words out, Jun Matsue breathed a sigh of relief and sank back into the soft seat.

"..." Natsumi Imokawa slightly parted her lips, her eyes filled with surprise.

"Pine branch? Two-timing?" The girl blinked. How could these two words be connected?
Although Songzhi is surrounded by many girls, among all the people she has met, there is none more upright than Songzhi.

As his name suggests, Jun Matsugae left people with an image of uprightness like a pine tree—otherwise, Natsumi Imokawa's parents wouldn't have encouraged her to get closer to Matsugae.

"You were dating Mochizuki Tomatsu at the same time?"

The girl's curious face was almost touching the boy's, so he stepped back.

"No, but the reality seems to be no different from that."

Natsumi Imokawa pressed on, "So, are you still dating Tomoka Tomatsu?"

The girl's curiosity made her forget even her usual honorifics.
“…Hmm.” The pure yet intense gaze before him made Jun Matsueda subconsciously turn his face away.

"So she's also maintaining a secret relationship with Mochizuki Haruka? How could she be content with that?"

"I can't tell you that." He pressed down on the girl's shoulder and pushed her back into her original position, chair and all.

"Didn't you say you'd tell me in a while? Why are you saying you can't tell me now?"

Natsumi Imokawa pouted; Matsue had a secret from her.

The boy looked apologetic. "It's not convenient to say, just know that I'm in this state right now."

"Oh..." The girl looked unwilling. "So why is Songzhi unhappy? Has your two-timing been exposed?"

Jun Matsueda shook his head, his expression even more complicated. "They know about this."

This time, the girl's mouth gaped wide open.

"Songzhi, I haven't seen many scenes like this in movies..."

"What's there to be unhappy about? Everyone did it willingly, shouldn't we be overjoyed?"

Although she said this, Natsumi Imokawa's tone changed a bit, no longer just the curiosity of an onlooker, but tinged with a hint of sourness.

Her thinking was simple: if Songzhi had more girlfriends, he would definitely have less time to play with her, right?
So the girl's barely concealed tension intensified, and she looked at the boy expectantly, hoping to hear a negative answer from him.

“How could I possibly be happy…” Jun Matsueda sighed again.

As soon as he finished speaking, the little stone in the girl's heart shattered into light, floating bubbles that drifted around her chest.

The boy stretched in his chair. "Let's stop playing games for now and chat in another room."

The recording studio was not a large space, and it was equipped with soundproof curtains and partitions. Although the lights were on, it still didn't feel very comfortable after a while.

"Let's go to the living room to rest!" Natsumi Imokawa stood up, holding two cups of yogurt.

Her slippers clattered as she led the boy out of the room.

Back in the living room, the girl opened the window. Raindrops hit the window frame with a muffled thud, and a gray-white sky appeared before them. Outside the eleventh-floor window was a street soaked in water.

Jun Matsue sat down on the sofa closest to the window and took a deep breath.

"The air outside is still much fresher."

"Remember to open the windows for ventilation when you're at home, it's good for your health and the home environment."

"Okay, okay, you're just like Mom..." Natsumi Imokawa sat down next to him. "Go on and tell me what you're saying."

The boy took a sip of yogurt and looked out at the dark clouds. "I don't like two-timing."

Although these words sounded like she was being hypocritical after getting a good deal, the girl naturally chose to believe them because it was Matsueda who said them.

"And this state cannot last."

Jun Matsue didn't say much, but just watched as the tilted yogurt in the cup slid to the bottom, leaving a sticky and blurry white mark on the glass.

Mochizuki couldn't possibly watch Tomatsu sit in her girlfriend's seat forever, and once Kurusu returned to the apartment, would the willful girl remain silent?
Just imagining the scene makes his head ache.

The conflict was right in front of him, but Jun Matsue could only watch it approach, with no way to avoid it, which was why he couldn't be happy.

He prefers a life where he has a sense of belonging rather than the so-called "two-timing" lifestyle.

“Then what should we do…” Natsumi Imokawa frowned. “Can’t Matsue choose to end this relationship?”

Unable to let go of Mochizuki, and unable to bear the thought of Tomatsu, Jun Matsueda could only shake his head.

"Then...then you brought this on yourself..." the girl couldn't help but whisper.

She quickly waved her hand, "I didn't mean to criticize Songzhi!"

Jun Matsue paused for a moment, then smiled. "That's true."

"Ultimately, this choice was my own."

"It's just that this choice isn't something I would have made before, so I feel uneasy." "That means Matsueda has changed." Imokawa Natsumi turned to look at him. "People change, that's normal!"

It's just a temporary situation of having two relationships at the same time; she wouldn't say anything wrong about Songzhi because of this.

The boy looked up and said, "But I feel like Iokawa hasn't changed much."

"No way!" the girl protested. "I've changed so much—"

“In the past, all I knew was to take pictures aimlessly with my camera. I felt bored every day and could only kill time in the movie theater and DVDs.”

"But I'm so busy now! I have to read a ton of books every day, and I also have to write scripts and storyboards. I feel like I don't have enough time at all."

As she was talking, she suddenly stood up, walked to the workroom next to the living room, and picked up the books stacked on the long table.

"These are all what I've seen now, and what I'm going to see..."

Her voice sounded strained, and Jun Matsue quickly stood up and caught the books in front of her before the girl tripped over the tripod that was sticking out from the ground.

A tall stack of books landed on the coffee table in front of the sofa with a heavy thud, and even the empty CD case next to it trembled twice.

"Introduction to Film Analysis," "Textbook of Film Expression," "110 Years of Japanese Cinema"... Jun Matsueda tilted his head, looking at the spines of the books crammed together.

"Also included are 'A Collection of Film Theories,' 'Key Film History Terms You Need to Know,' 'One Hundred Classic Storyboards,' and 'Saving the Cat'..."

Natsumi Imokawa rattled off a list of dishes as her slender index finger brushed against the sides of the books. "I'm actually reading far more books now than I did before I decided to apply to film school!"

"And I also have to shoot a portfolio, communicate with actors, and learn sound recording and color grading..."

"Anyway—" The girl stood opposite Jun Matsueda, straightened her back, patted the top of the pile of books, and proudly puffed out her chest and raised her head.

"I'm not the same Natsumi Imokawa I used to be!"

Jun Matsue nodded vigorously and clapped earnestly, and enthusiastic congratulations filled the living room.

"However, in my eyes, Imokawa hasn't really changed much."

Wangyue has become a clingy and willful cat.

The cunning Tomatsu became incredibly vulnerable and needed someone to rely on.

The gentle and strong senior became a senior with whom she no longer had any contact.

The roommate who picked him up from the typhoon and bought discounted groceries with him has become a popular idol.

But Imokawa remains that simple girl who loves to take her camera and greedily record the world.

“Eh…” Natsumi Imokawa was inexplicably disappointed. “Does Matsueda think I haven’t changed…”

“I also think you’re much better now than before.” The boy smiled. “I hope I can keep going like this.”

"That's too difficult." The girl waved her hand. "I guess I'll be able to relax after I get into Tokyo University of the Arts."

"How will you relax then?"

She stared blankly at the rain lines outside the window, thinking, "Should I take my camera and wander around, or stay home and watch a movie?"

The outdoor light, like a thin veil, fell on the girl's face, outlining her soft features.

“Is there any difference between then and now…” Jun Matsue looked at her profile.

“Of course!” Natsumi Imokawa turned around. “What I’m shooting now is a portfolio, something that’s been prescribed.”

"The same goes for watching movies. Now I watch things from the lecture notes of the Tokyo University of the Arts."

"What about 'The Blood of the Hero', 'Rashomon', 'Tokyo Story', 'Hakuoki'..."

"Some movies are incredibly boring!"

She stuck out her bright red tongue, as if she had eaten something unpalatable, her expression vivid and adorable.

"So after I finish my college entrance exams, I want to watch whatever I want and film whatever I want! Without any ulterior motive!"

Just like when she went to Meiji Shrine with Matsue before and saw the ginkgo trees on Namiki Avenue... Memories flooded the girl's mind, and she glanced at the boy in front of her a few more times.

“Hey, Matsueda.” Natsumi Imokawa placed her hands on the coffee table and brought her face close to the boy’s.

"You're not the type to forget your friends once you're in a relationship, are you?"

She felt a sense of crisis as Matsueda Jun was about to have his cake and eat it too.

When she learned about Jun Matsueda's first relationship, his relationship with Maki Yami was already facing obstacles. As for his second relationship with Yuka Tomatsu, since it was a fake girlfriend relationship, the girl didn't pay much attention to it.

But now it seems that Matsue is about to fall in love again, and even two-timing—will he still have a place for me, his good friend, in his heart? Imokawa Natsumi inevitably began to think about this question.

Why bother with dating...? A little resentment crept into her heart, because Songzhi's time and emotions would be consumed by it.

"Why are you worried about this?" Jun Matsueda blinked. "Formally speaking, I've already had two relationships, and our relationship hasn't grown distant, has it?"

To be precise, it's not just that they haven't drifted apart; he's even started recording at the girl's house now.

"I was just a little worried." Natsumi Imokawa breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm just glad that Matsue won't do that."

The girl glanced at the time. "It's already this late. I don't think I have time to play games anymore."

"Then let's wait until next time." The boy stood up and drank the rest of the yogurt on the coffee table in one gulp.

I hope that when I come back next time, I won't feel so lost and uncertain.

When Jun Matsueda returned to the apartment, Haruka Mochizuki was sitting on the sofa in the living room, holding her cat and watching TV.

"You're back so early?" He was a little surprised. "I thought you weren't coming back tonight."

"It only satisfied the curiosity of bored adults." The girl turned her head and glanced at the boy. Jinzhi in her arms was listless, seemingly disliking rainy days.

“You didn’t say you were going out today.”

“Didn’t I mention it to you last time we were filming? We’re going to record in Imagawa.” Jun Matsueda placed his umbrella in the corner of the entryway.

The umbrella he borrowed from Tomatsu Yuka was leaning against the side; it was now dry.

"Is that so?" Mochizuki Haruka frowned.

"Let's not talk about that, Songzhi. Did you go through my two notebooks?"

"Yes." The boy readily admitted, "I asked you that night, and you didn't object."

"How can words spoken back then count!" The girl blushed and rolled her eyes.

"So you crossed that one out too?"

She discovered this today while looking through the "Pine Branch Guidebook" with her aunt.

“That’s right.” Jun Matsue walked into the living room, where a pitcher of freshly made lemon tea was on the dining table. He poured himself a cup.

757. Jun Matsue dislikes Haruka Mochizuki; he has already crossed that out himself.

"Because it's in the past."

The sweet, sour, and slightly astringent lemon black tea went down his throat, carrying a natural coolness, and he looked out at the rain curtain.

The rain fell tirelessly, making it impossible to tell the time.

The countdown to May has come to an end.

(End of this chapter)