Da Ming: I told you to die for your cause, why are you actually going to die?

Chapter 104 Open the door, Your Majesty! We are the auditors! [Bonus Chapter 9 for Monthly Tickets]

"Brother Biao?"

Watching Jiang Huan and his entourage's official ship depart, Shen Lang approached Zhang Biao again and cautiously asked, "You received the Emperor's decree, which means the audit is about to begin again?"

"Yeah, Brother Biao, should we continue the audit?" Sun Gui picked up the chamber pot lamp from the ground and held it up.

Li Mo, Zhao Fengman, Wu Naida, and the others looked at Zhang Biao with great anticipation, though they didn't say a word, they were full of energy.

But Zhang Biao said with a smile, "An audit is of course necessary."

"Nothing"

He deliberately drew out a word, tapping the imperial edict stained with pig's head grease with his finger, and said calmly and eerily, "The Emperor ordered us to conduct an audit, but he didn't say to audit all the civil and military officials, or even himself, did he?"

"What!?"

Zhang Biao's words were like a thunderbolt, striking everyone's heads.

Everyone stared at him as if they had seen a ghost, their minds completely blank.

"Bang!"

The wine bowl in Shen Lang's hand fell to the ground and shattered.

He suspected he was still drunk and was hallucinating.

Sun Gui was secretly trying to grab the last piece of pig's ear, but his chopsticks froze in mid-air, and his mouth was wide open enough to fit an egg.

Li Mo nearly choked, coughing violently: "Cough cough, Brother Biao! Be careful what you say! Be careful what you say! Under heaven, all land belongs to the king; on the shores of the earth, all people are subjects of the king! How can the Emperor, the Emperor..."

"What's wrong, Your Majesty?"

Zhang Biao glared at him and interrupted him with an air of self-righteousness:

"Is the Emperor no longer a citizen of the Ming Dynasty? Does the Emperor not have to abide by the laws of the Ming Dynasty? Old Zhu keeps saying that the world belongs to the Zhu family, but it belongs to all the people of the world even more!"

"Where did his private funds come from? Didn't they come from the national treasury? Wasn't it all the people's hard-earned money? Did he have a budget for his spending? Did he have a final account? Was he subject to oversight?"

A series of questions struck everyone like a hammer blow, leaving them dizzy and disoriented.

An auditing emperor?!
Investigating the imperial treasury?!
Asking the Emperor for the budget and final accounts?!

To subject the emperor to oversight when it comes to spending money!?

"This is insane! Absolutely insane!"

Zhao Fengman muttered to himself, feeling that he might not live to see tomorrow.

"That's right! He's gone mad!"

Zhang Biao, on the contrary, slapped his thigh and became excited:

"What we've done isn't crazy? If we're going to be crazy, let's be crazy on a grand scale! Crazy in a way that's unprecedented and will never be repeated!"

As he spoke, he suddenly leaned closer to the crowd, lowering his voice as if he were plotting something earth-shattering:

"Think about it, why did Old Zhu give him money and promote him? Isn't it because we hit a nerve?"

"Does he think that by putting us in such a precarious position, we'll be scared? We'll back down? We'll stop investigating?"

"Pah! We're going to investigate anyway! And we'll investigate where he's most vulnerable!"

"He wants to settle accounts, doesn't he? Fine! Let's settle them from the root! Let's start with the private treasury of our great Hongwu Emperor!"

"We're going to establish the 'Hongwu Royal Treasury Audit Special Task Force'! I'll personally be the leader! You'll all be members!"

Shen Lang and the others were completely petrified, their minds completely blank, staring at Zhang Biao as if watching a firework about to explode, dazzling yet deadly.

Zhang Biao became more and more excited as he spoke, and began to gesticulate wildly as he planned:

"The first step! Draft a formal letter requesting the public disclosure of Emperor Hongwu's private treasury accounts and acceptance of an audit by the Censorate!"

"The tone should be respectful, the attitude should be proper, but the content should be substantial!"

"Just ask him about the sources of income, expenditure items, and balance of the imperial treasury each year!"

"Ask him what the standards are for repairing palaces, rewarding the harem, and giving pocket money to princes and grandsons? Have there been any overspending? Have any funds been misappropriated from the national treasury?"

"The second step! Check the records of silver transfers from the national treasury to the imperial treasury over the years by referring to the Ministry of Revenue archives!"

"Check every single stroke! See if there are any extra strokes, premature strokes, or strokes that shouldn't have been made!"

"The third step! And the most important step!"

Zhang Biao's eyes lit up: "Request an on-site inventory! We need to enter the palace! To the imperial treasury!"

"We need to see for ourselves just how much wealth Old Zhu has amassed in his slush fund! Are there any discrepancies between the accounts and the actual amount? Is it poorly stored? Is it moldy or infested with insects? We're doing this for his own good! To prevent the loss of state-owned assets!"

"Pfft!"

Several muffled thuds were heard, and Li Mo, Zhao Fengman, and a few others with weaker mental fortitude were so frightened that their legs went weak and they sat down on the ground.

Applying for the emperor's treasury? And preventing the loss of state-owned assets?
This isn't just courting death; it's like they're afraid their death won't be thorough enough, and they want to exterminate their entire family!
"Brother Biao! You mustn't! You absolutely mustn't!"

Shen Lang finally reacted, rushed forward and hugged Zhang Biao's leg, his voice trembling with tears:

"That's the Emperor! The Son of Heaven! If we do this, our entire family will be wiped out! Our entire family will really be wiped out!"

Zhang Biao lightly kicked him away, saying with exasperation, "Look at you, so pathetic! What are you afraid of? We're here on official business investigating a case!"

As he spoke, he raised the imperial edict in his hand and declared in a resounding voice:
"This imperial edict states that the general manager is in charge of clearing up the accounts and investigating to the end! It doesn't say that the imperial treasury can't be investigated! We are strictly implementing His Majesty's instructions!"

He stood with his hands on his hips, looking completely at ease.
"If Old Zhu has nothing to hide and is completely honest, what is there to be afraid of in an audit? It's a good opportunity to demonstrate his integrity and self-discipline to all his subjects!"

"If he gets angry, he might chop us up."

Zhang Biao paused, a martyr-like fanaticism shining on his face:
"Doesn't that just prove he's guilty? Does it mean there's something wrong with his personal funds? Does it mean our audit has hit the nail on the head? Even if we die, we'll be sacrificing ourselves for the auditing cause, dying a worthy death! A death heavier than Mount Tai!"

"This"

Everyone was completely speechless.

This logic is absolutely flawless, yet it's also incredibly damn ridiculous!
This is utterly the ultimate expression of fallacies and heresies! Seeing their expressions of 'I don't want to play anymore, this game is too scary,' Zhang Biao grinned and began to paint a rosy picture:
"Think about it, brothers! Throughout history, which imperial censor has ever done what we've done?"

"The Audit Emperor! Isn't that a prestigious title? Isn't it exciting? Isn't it enough for you to brag about for ten lifetimes?"

"If we succeed, we'll be the greatest audit team in history, unparalleled in the past! Our names will be etched in history!"

"Even if we fail, we'll be the unprecedented and unparalleled auditing team that has sacrificed itself heroically! We'll still be remembered in history!"

"Either way, it'll make us famous in history, so this is a win-win situation!"

He patted the bowl of now-cold pig's head meat: "Hurry up, eat and drink your fill! Shen Lang, bring me some ink and brush!"

"I'm going to draft that 'earth-shattering, ghost-weeping' audit letter right now!"

"Sun Gui, tomorrow morning, you will take your men to Yingtian Prefecture and make the news even more amplified!"

"Tell us that our Vice Censor-in-Chief Zhang is concerned for His Majesty's health and worries that the imperial treasury is in disarray and may be infested with corrupt officials. He wants to personally inspect the treasury for His Majesty and protect it!"

"Li Mo, you have a good writing style. Come up with a slogan for our 'Royal Treasury Audit Special Task Force'!"

"It must be loud! It must be powerful! It must embody our great spirit of speaking out for the people and not fearing imperial power!"

Inside the pleasure boat, the 'mad wolves' who originally planned to eat, drink, have fun, and enjoy the Qinhuai River for free, under the leadership of Zhang Biao, the ultimate madman, embarked on a plan that was unprecedented in human history, a plan that was both absurd and daring.

Auditing the private treasury of Emperor Hongwu (Zhu Yuanzhang).

One can imagine the nuclear-level shock that would occur when this 'audit letter' was delivered to the Hall of Literary Glory and when the news of 'auditing the emperor's private treasury' spread throughout Yingtian Prefecture.

Old Zhu's reaction was probably more than just fainting from anger.

He might just grab a knife and charge from the Hall of Literary Glory to the Censorate, then to Chengtian Gate, killing Zhang Biao's officials for three days and three nights without blinking.

Then I personally gave Zhang Biao a 'physical audit'.

Look at how hard his bones are, and how thick his skin is.

This was exactly what Zhang Biao wanted.

"Come on, Lao Zhu!!"

Looking at the first light of dawn outside the window, Zhang Biao smiled with great anticipation: "Let's see if your knife is faster, or my abacus beads make the most noise!"

The next morning, after taking the calming soup carefully prepared by the imperial physician, Old Zhu's complexion was still somewhat sallow, but the coldness and sharpness in his eyes had returned.

He listened to Jiang Huan's low report on Zhang Biao and the others' reactions after receiving the imperial edict last night, a cold smile playing on his lips.

Everything seemed to be going according to his script.

It seems Zhang Biao, this madman, has resigned himself to his fate and is ready to tear apart the court officials on his behalf.

Just then, Yunming walked in, holding an official document, his face pale and his steps unsteady. He looked ten times more terrified than Zhang Biao had been the day before when he tore up the imperial edict.

"Your Majesty, Zhang Biao, the Left Vice Censor-in-Chief of the Censorate, has submitted a memorial."

Yunming's voice trembled so badly that he was almost crying.

"Oh?"

Old Zhu raised an eyebrow, took the official document, and said with a hint of amusement, "Getting into character so quickly? Did you find some unlucky guy's new incriminating evidence? Let's see who this 'mad dog' bites first."

He casually unfolded the so-called 'memorial'.

What greeted the eye was not the expected impeachment list, but a headline that was extremely glaring:

Formal Letter Regarding the Request for Public Disclosure of Emperor Hongwu's Imperial Treasury Accounts and Acceptance of Auditing by the Censorate

Old Zhu: "???"

What the hell is this?!
He wondered if he had fainted from anger four times and if there was something wrong with his eyes, so he blinked hard.

That's right!

The title is correct!

It means 'auditing the emperor's private treasury'!
The following content caused his blood pressure to spike even higher:
[Your subject Zhang Biao, having been promoted by Your Majesty's grace to oversee the accounting matters, deeply feels the weight of this responsibility and is constantly worried, fearing that I may fail Your Majesty's expectations.]

[To thoroughly investigate corruption, trace its origins, demonstrate the Emperor's radiant virtue, and silence public criticism.]

Therefore, in accordance with laws and regulations, we hereby request a comprehensive, open, and impartial audit of the Emperor's imperial treasury accounts.

[First, we request Your Majesty to order the Directorate of Palace Attendants to provide detailed account books and original vouchers for all income, expenditure, and balance of the Imperial Treasury since the first year of the Hongwu reign, for verification.]

[Secondly, Your Majesty, please clarify the procedures and approval authority for the allocation of funds from the Imperial Treasury and the National Treasury, and verify whether there are any instances of exceeding regulations, exceeding amounts, or exceeding frequency in the allocation records over the years.]

[Thirdly, to ensure that the accounts match the actual situation, I humbly request Your Majesty's permission to lead the 'Hongwu Imperial Treasury Audit Special Task Force' into the palace to conduct an on-site inventory and verification of the imperial treasury.]

[IV. Your Majesty is requested to provide budget approval documents and final accounts reports for major expenditure items such as the expenses of the harem, rewards for members of the imperial family, and palace repairs.]

Our actions are by no means an attempt to question Your Majesty, but rather to share Your Majesty's burdens, to eliminate abuses for the nation, and to set an example for all the people!

[The Emperor is the ruler of the land and the role model for all people. If he can set an example by making accounts public and accepting supervision, then corrupt officials will tremble in fear, and the Hongwu era will surely be a time of peace and prosperity!]

Our sincere devotion is as clear as day! We beseech Your Majesty's wise judgment!

[Signature: Zhang Biao, Left Vice Censor-in-Chief of the Censorate and concurrently head of the Special Task Force for Auditing the Hongwu Imperial Treasury.]

"."

Holding the 'audit letter,' Old Zhu's hands began to tremble uncontrollably, even more violently than when he saw Ham's 'memorial' yesterday.

His face went from sallow to flushed, then to ashen, and finally turned deathly pale.

He felt a surge of blood energy, like an out-of-control tornado, rushing from the soles of his feet straight to the top of his head.

My temples throbbed violently, and the words in front of my eyes began to blur and spin.

Ugh! Damn! Mud! Horse!
I just promoted you? And you're already auditing me?!
Where's my knife?!

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(End of this chapter)