Da Ming: I told you to die for your cause, why are you actually going to die?

Chapter 86 This is what you call professional! [Seeking monthly votes]

"Have you heard? Imperial Censor Zhang and his group had a meal at the Duke of Cao's residence!"

"It wasn't just a meal! I heard they even ransacked the Duke of Cao's luxurious mansion!"

"Hiss—! Hasn't Lord Li gone mad with anger?!"

"This...this is simply an unprecedented event!"

All the nobles and officials who heard the news were once again plunged into a great sense of panic and absurdity.

After successfully robbing someone's home, they held a victory celebration banquet at the victim's house?
This isn't just a slap in the face; it's like slapping Li Jinglong's face to the ground and rinsing it with hot pot broth!
The atmosphere at the Marquis of Wuding's residence, which also received this astonishing news, was even more tense than in the imperial palace.

Not only was the gate of his mansion blocked with the thickest bar, but sandbags were also piled up behind it. He even ordered his servants to prepare kerosene and rolling logs, as if to say, "If a madman dares to come, we'll all perish together."

Guo Ying herself lay on the brocade couch, covered with three layers of brocade quilts, with a wet towel draped over her forehead, humming and moaning, putting on an even more dramatic performance than a real, terminally ill patient.

"Ouch..."

"Oh my goodness..."

"I'm not going to make it... I'm dizzy... my heart is pounding and I'm short of breath... I'm afraid I won't make it through the night..."

His groans were intermittent, but full of sincerity.

Several sons and family members surrounded the bed, their expressions complicated. They were worried about the old man's health, but even more worried about the madman who might come knocking on their door at any moment.

"Father, please don't worry. No matter how crazy Zhang Biao is, he can't just barge into a sick person's home..."

"Fuck your mother's fart!"

Before the eldest son could finish speaking, Guo Ying weakly interrupted him.

"What wouldn't that madman do?! Is Fu Youwen alright? Is Ru Chang alright? Li Jinglong is practically driven mad by him! And what was the result? Their homes were ransacked, and they were all wiped out!"

Guo Ying became more and more agitated as she spoke, almost shaking the towel off her face. She quickly began to hum weakly again:

"Oh...it hurts my heart just thinking about him..."

Just then, the butler rushed in, stumbling and scrambling, his face as white as paper:

"Lord...Lord Marquis! He's here! He's here!"

"What?! So fast?!"

Guo Ying froze abruptly, then with an agility unbecoming of someone her age, she darted under the covers, completely obscuring her head. Her voice, muffled and trembling, came from beneath the covers:

"Just...just say I'm unconscious! Terrified! I won't see anyone! Especially that guy surnamed Zhang!"

The steward, his face contorted with grief, said, "I did tell him, but... but Imperial Censor Zhang said..."

"What did he say?" the eldest son asked hurriedly.

"He said……"

The butler swallowed hard, struggling to mimic Zhang Biao's tone:
"The old Marquis is ill? What a coincidence! This Imperial Censor is a traditional Chinese medicine doctor with a family tradition of treating all kinds of difficult and complicated diseases! I am especially skilled at treating the old Marquis's kind of mental illness! Open the door quickly, let this Imperial Censor give the Marquis a few acupuncture treatments, and he will be cured in no time!"

Guo Ying shuddered as she listened in bed.

How many needles?
What kind of needle does that madman use?

Could it be an iron rod needle?!

"I won't open it! I'd rather die than open it!"

Guo Ying screamed from under the covers.

However, Zhang Biao outside the door was clearly not so easy to deal with.

Several loud bangs were heard, as if someone was pounding on the door, accompanied by Sun Gui's hoarse shouts:

"My lord! Open the door!"

"Brother Biao has brought his team of renowned doctors to provide you with a consultation!"

"Free! No money required!"

Immediately afterwards, Shen Lang's voice rang out, accompanied by the clattering sound of an abacus:

"According to market prices, a single consultation by an imperial physician costs at least ten taels of silver! This time, Brother Biao is personally leading the team, which is top-notch. It should be valued at at least one hundred taels of silver! Old Marquis, you've made a fortune!"

Li Mo's voice also joined the chorus:
"Is the Marquis's illness perhaps in the skin, the stomach, or a sign of weakness? Let your student carve this analysis on the wall!"

"Crack, crack—!"

The sound of stones scraping against the wall came from outside again.

Guo Ying trembled with anger under the covers; these people were simply the nemesis of his life.

The sounds of banging on the door, carving on the wall, and arguing continued, attracting the attention and criticism of many neighbors.

"Oh dear, what's going on at the Marquis of Wuding's residence?"

"I heard that the old Marquis is ill, and Imperial Censor Zhang has brought people to provide free medical treatment!"

"Imperial Censor Zhang is truly a living bodhisattva! He even takes care of medical treatment!"

"I don't know, it looks quite lively..."

The whispers outside made Guo Ying feel incredibly embarrassed.

As a man of noble birth, is he really going to be cornered at home and made a laughingstock like a monkey?

Just as he was filled with shame and indignation, the banging on the door suddenly stopped.

Guo Ying had just breathed a sigh of relief when she heard Zhang Biao's voice become clearer, as if he were addressing the onlookers:
"Fellow neighbors! The old Marquis is seriously ill, yet he keeps his mansion gates closed and refuses to seek medical treatment! As his colleagues, how can we stand by and watch him die?!"

"This Imperial Censor suspects that the Marquis is not ill, but has been kidnapped by scoundrels in his household! Or perhaps he has suffered a mental breakdown that cannot be brought to light! To prevent any mishap from befalling the Marquis, this Imperial Censor has decided to execute emergency rescue procedures!"

Guo Ying was stunned when she heard this explanation.

He's been kidnapped? He's lost his mind? Emergency rescue procedures? What's this lunatic up to now?!

The next second, he found out.

Zhang Biao roared, "Master Sun! Ladder! Commander Jiang doesn't care, we'll do it ourselves!"

"Alright, Biao-ge!"

A flurry of footsteps and the sound of ladders being set up came from outside.

Guo Ying's eldest son rushed to the window and looked out, his face turning green: "Dad! They're setting up a ladder to climb over the wall!" "What?!"

Guo Ying suddenly sat up from under the covers, no longer caring about pretending to be sick, and rushed barefoot to the window.

On the wall, Sun Gui was shakily holding up the haunting chamber pot lamp for light, while Zhang Biao was nimbly climbing up, followed by several low-ranking officials from the capital carrying something.

"They've rebelled! They've rebelled! They've really rebelled!"

Guo Ying was so angry his beard trembled: "Where are the bow and arrows?! Bring me the bow and arrows! I'm going to shoot these scoundrels to death!"

The retainer looked troubled: "My lord, shooting an official of the imperial court is a serious crime..."

Moreover, there are so many people watching from below.

Just then, Zhang Biao had already climbed onto the top of the wall, perched on the eaves, and waved towards Guo Ying's window, his face beaming with the smile of a warm-hearted neighbor.
"Oh! Old Marquis! You can get out of bed now? It seems you're much better! But don't worry, since we're already here, let's give you a full check-up to consolidate the treatment!"

Without waiting for Guo Ying's reply, he shouted to the crowd below, "Brothers! Hoist the medical equipment up!"

The people below responded and began to hoist things up with ropes.

Several huge burlap sacks, exuding a strong herbal smell, were hoisted up, along with a small stove and a set of long acupuncture needles.
There was even a short-handled axe that looked like it was used for chopping wood?!

As Guo Ying watched these strange objects being carried onto the wall, his eyelids twitched uncontrollably, and an extremely ominous premonition enveloped him.

"Zhang Biao! What exactly do you want to do?!" Guo Ying's voice was filled with terror.

"To see a doctor!"

Zhang Biao, with an air of self-righteousness, picked up the packet of 'silver needles,' pulled out the longest one, and held it up to the sunlight, its cold light gleaming:

"I believe the old marquis's illness is due to stagnation of qi and blood, and invasion of pathogenic wind. He needs some bloodletting and a few acupuncture needles to clear his meridians!"

As he spoke, he pointed to the sacks of herbs: "These are all highly nourishing herbs! Angelica, astragalus, ginseng... I'll make you a complete tonic soup! I guarantee it will cure your ailment!"

Finally, he weighed the axe in his hand and gave a kind smile:

"Of course, if acupuncture and medicine don't work, we have one last resort: the do-or-die therapy! Commonly known as fighting poison with poison, we just need to stimulate the acupoints where it hurts!"

Guo Ying looked at the long, thumb-thick 'silver needle' and imagined what it would feel like to pierce her body.

Smelling the strange herbal scent again, imagining what kind of medicine it was brewed from, my gaze finally settled on that gleaming axe...

"Ow—!"

The old marquis let out a piercing scream; it wasn't feigned, he was genuinely terrified.

He could almost see himself being pinned down by Zhang Biao, stabbed like a hedgehog, forced to drink a bellyful of strange soup, and finally chopped twice with an axe.

This is hardly a medical visit.
This is clearly torture to extract a confession! It's murder!

"No! I don't want needles! I don't want medicine! And I definitely don't want an axe!"

Guo Ying clutched her head, completely breaking down:

"I'm not sick! I'm faking it! I'm faking it! I don't have any illness at all! I'm cured! Completely cured!"

To prove he wasn't sick, he even jumped around a couple of times, his movements so agile they didn't seem like those of an old man at all.

"Oh, old Marquis, your illness... is recovering quite quickly! It seems our auditing therapy is more effective than the imperial physician's prescription!"

"Now that you're better, let's get down to business. Your overdue salary, the excessive amount of tribute paper, the evaded taxes on medicinal herbs, and shouldn't we settle the old scores regarding Poyang Lake?"

Looking at Zhang Biao's smug face, and then at the growing crowd of people around him and the faintly visible Imperial Guards in the distance, Guo Ying knew that he was doomed today.

His vision blurred, a sweet taste rose in his throat, and he swallowed back a mouthful of blood, forcing out a few words through gritted teeth: "Fine... you... are ruthless...!"

"That……"

Zhang Biao brandished the iron pestle and silver needles in his hand: "Your mansion gate..."

"Open! Open it right away!"

Guo Ying roared hoarsely at the people below:
"Quickly! Open the door! Let Imperial Censor Zhang in! Hurry!"

He was really scared.

He was more afraid of being treated by this madman than of having his home ransacked!

The heavy mansion gates were finally slowly opened.

Zhang Biao climbed down the ladder with satisfaction, clapped his hands, and swaggered into the Wuding Marquis's residence with his medical team and those terrifying medical instruments.

Looking at Guo Ying, whose face was rosy and who moved freely, though her legs were a little weak from fright, Zhang Biao sighed:
"Sigh, all that equipment I prepared has been wasted. Old Marquis, look at the consultation fee, the equipment wear and tear, the compensation for emotional distress..."

Guo Ying was now only interested in getting rid of this plague, and hurriedly said, "I'll pay! I'll pay for everything! Just name your price!"

Shen Lang immediately stepped forward, his abacus clicking: "Lord Marquis, you feigned illness, wasting top-tier medical resources and frightening us. Based on a comprehensive assessment, the compensation amount is three thousand taels!"

Guo Ying's lips twitched, but looking at the packet of silver needles and the axe, she gritted her teeth and agreed: "Give it to me! I'll give it to you!"

"Cash or..."

Zhang Biao raised an eyebrow.

"Cash! Pay me right now!"

Guo Ying practically yelled at the housekeeper to get the money.

Soon, three thousand taels of silver were brought out.

Zhang Biao didn't even glance at it, and said to Shen Lang, "Make a note of it. Marquis Wuding, Guo Ying, voluntarily donated three thousand taels of silver to fill the court's financial deficit and compensate for unpaid wages. He has a very high level of awareness and deserves praise!"

Guo Ying: "..."

What the hell can I say?!

This is called professionalism!

Having achieved his goal, Zhang Biao was too lazy to stay any longer. He gave a shout, took his men and the silver, and prepared to leave.

Just as he reached the door, he turned back and grinned at Guo Ying, who was seeing him off like a plague carrier:
"My lord, if you ever feel unwell again, just let me know! My 'Acupuncture and Axe Therapy' package is at your service anytime! I'll give you a 20% discount next time!"

Guo Ying shuddered and almost knelt down on the spot, waving her hands repeatedly: "I dare not trouble myself! I dare not trouble myself! I am in very good health! Very good!"

Watching Zhang Biao and the others leave with the silver, Guo Ying collapsed onto the threshold as if she had lost all her strength, tears streaming down her face.

"What a sin!!!"

(End of this chapter)