Tokyo Sick Girlfriend

Chapter 148 Memories (Two chapters combined, but there will be another chapter at midnight)
Time spent in sorrow seems to last exceptionally long.

Sweetness nourishes the petals, pain breeds thorns; her heart was already covered with countless black thorns.

Hojo Shione had been waiting for this kiss for far too long.

The rose that was once nourished by love in her heart has been torn apart countless times by the painful passage of time.

The beautiful and elegant rose petals have disappeared, replaced by hard, black thorns.

Tears streamed down her closed eyelids as she stood on tiptoe, sucking them in repeatedly.

The love I've always longed for dripped down my tongue and into my heart, landing on the bare branches where a tender flower bud sprouted anew.

Her kisses grew more intense, she was almost breathless, her eyes became glazed, and suddenly a voice from the past appeared in her ears:

"Your voice is beautiful, I admire you very much."

Hojo Shione clearly remembers that this was the first thing Shiratori Seiya said to her.

She couldn't remember whether the weather was sunny or cloudy that day, or whether the wind blowing in from the corridor window was scorching or icy cold, but the earnest look in the boy's eyes that stood opposite her that day had unknowingly been etched into her heart.

Hearing his words, which were practically a confession, Hojo Shione appeared outwardly unmoved, but inwardly she was at a loss for what to do.

Sixteen-year-old Hojo Shione couldn't withstand the boy's calm and deep gaze. She lowered her eyes, trying to avoid his gaze, and unconsciously began to knead her hand holding the bag.

For a moment, she didn't know how to respond to his abrupt answer. Her heart started racing and she panicked, like vines intertwined on a wall that she couldn't separate no matter how hard she tried.

It's not that she's never been confessed to; on the contrary, starting from junior high school, she would receive love letters in her shoe cabinet every one or two days.

You can't hide your feelings for someone; they'll always give themselves away. Even without a love letter, someone who wants to confess will make all sorts of tests beforehand.

Hojo Shione could easily see it.

Her gentleness is ingrained in her bones. When she encounters a suitor who is insecure, she will take the initiative to distance herself and show him through her actions that "I don't like you." When she encounters a confident suitor, she will prepare her rejection words in advance and then politely refuse when he confesses his feelings.

She was extremely skilled at refusing; years of experience had formed a complete system, as orderly as the production process in a factory.

But the current situation is clearly not something she has experienced before.

Shouldn't the normal order be to write a love letter first? Why did this person just confess their feelings directly?

Or, to be precise, this wasn't a confession at all.

The reason wasn't the sentence structure, but rather that the look in his eyes when he looked at me didn't have the awkward infatuation of a teenager, but rather a calmness, as if he were simply stating a fact.

I admire you, that's all.

For the first time, Hojo Shione was unsure whether she should say no. Because she was unsure if he was confessing, she felt that saying "I'm sorry, I don't have any intention of dating right now" would seem too presumptuous.

She had only met Shiratori Seiya twice.

The last time she noticed him was during music class. After class, as she was packing her bag to leave, she turned around and saw the person sitting in the corner holding a pen, staring intently at her, seemingly writing something in a notebook.

She remembered him because Shiratori Seiya wasn't in her class.

Or rather, he sneaked in.

Of course, he wasn't the only one who noticed him; the students in the back row were also whispering about him. The reason he wasn't kicked out of the classroom was that the music teacher couldn't remember how many people were in the class, and since he didn't look particularly noticeable, he was naturally overlooked.

Having been used to being watched since childhood, Hojo Shione didn't feel anything special even when Shiratori Seiya was staring at her.

However, to her surprise, the way this person looked at her was strange.

There was no shyness of unrequited love, no aggressive possessiveness, no deep and unwavering affection...

Instead... scrutiny?
Or rather, thinking?
Hojo Shione felt that the way he looked at her was like he was looking at a math problem, his eyes only focused on how to solve it...

Whether it was last time or this time, his eyes looked the same.

too weird.

There were quite a few people watching the show in the corridor, and the sounds of boys and girls talking and laughing could be heard, as if they were all waiting to see how she would refuse.

Although she couldn't hear what they were saying clearly, she knew it was gossip. Hojo Shione's ears burned, she swallowed hard, and looked at Shiratori Seiya before speaking:

"you……"

She uttered only one word before abruptly stopping, like a newly composed piece of music—dry and incomplete.

Seemingly sensing her embarrassment, Shiratori Seiya said directly:

"My name is Shiratori Seiya, and I'm in Class C of the first year. Don't be nervous, I just want to get to know you."

He paused, then continued to explain:
"I heard your singing outside the window during my break after PE class that day... I really like it."

“I have no ill intentions, and I’m not going to be annoying like a fly. I just want to tell you from the bottom of my heart that your voice is beautiful.”

"Because just hearing about it makes me feel better, I'm standing in front of you now with a grateful heart."

The boy's voice was steady and calm, like a vast blue sea. Looking into his deep eyes, Hojo Shione's earlier panic disappeared, and she unconsciously calmed down.

"Thank you."

She managed to squeeze out those few dry words, unsure of what else to say.

However, Shiratori Seiya took the initiative to end the conversation, bowing his head and giving her a polite smile.

Then, as if he had resolved some unresolved matter, he left without looking back.

Hojo Shione turned around, her brows furrowed, and looked at the boy's receding figure with a complicated expression.

it's wired.

What's strange isn't his behavior.

A teenager with a deep-seated inferiority complex during puberty does this strange thing with the idea that "even if I don't get a response, I still have to express my feelings." Then he hides in the bathroom, so embarrassed that he wishes he could just shove his head into the toilet and drown.

Hojo Shione had not only heard of such situations before but had also experienced them firsthand, so she was no longer surprised by them.

Strangely, she didn't feel embarrassed at all; on the contrary, she felt surprisingly at ease.

Is it because of the different way of expression that it's not so radical?

Hojo Shione felt that perhaps it wasn't so. If it were someone else, she would feel embarrassed for them, but she actually sensed a special kind of calmness from this person.

Shiratori Seiya was like a gust of wind, passing by without lingering.

This person left a 'special' mark on her heart.

The mark wasn't deep or shallow; although there was some impression, it would eventually be smoothed over by the tides of time. However, before the tides of time could even wash over her, Shiratori Seiya once again stepped on her heart.

"Huh? Shiratori-kun, did I hear that right? You were doing just fine in the kendo club, and you even have a spot in next year's Dragon Flag competition, right? Why are you joining the vocal club? Do you even know anything about music?"

"Ishihara-sensei, this is the result of my careful consideration. Please accept my reply."

"Deliberately considered? You can sing? Then why didn't you join the vocal club in your first year of high school? Sing a couple of lines for me?"

"..."

The sound of a boy singing drifted from the office. Hojo Shione, holding a file, stood outside the window, stunned by the sound. After a long while, she finally couldn't hold back and burst out laughing.

It can't be said that Shiratori Seiya was off-key, because he was never in tune from the very beginning.

Seemingly aware that he sang poorly, he only sang one or two lines before stopping.

After a long silence, a loud 'bang' was heard in the office, followed by the female teacher's exasperated voice:

"You're tone-deaf, what would you do in the vocal club?"

"Ishihara-sensei, listen to me, I have a dream of becoming a musician. Although I'm tone-deaf, I want to write songs..."

"Am I crazy or are you crazy? Someone who's tone-deaf can write songs?"

"Mr. Ishihara, that's your prejudice. Being tone-deaf doesn't conflict with songwriting. Lyric writing has nothing to do with pitch. Besides, I just sing badly, it's not like I can't distinguish between high and low notes..."

"Please, Ishihara-sensei, this is my lifelong request."

Hojo Shione peered through the corner of the window at the boy's bowing back. Her clear eyes darted around, and she unconsciously recalled what he had said to her earlier: "Your voice is beautiful, I admire you."...

Is that so?

Another silence fell over the office. The female teacher, Ishihara Tamakatsu, scratched her head in exasperation. After a moment, she looked at Shiratori Seiya and said:

"It's not impossible for you to switch clubs if you really want to, but you might as well join the choir. The vocal club is probably going to disband next year, and you have to think about your credits..."

"Mr. Ishihara, this is one of the reasons why I want to join the vocal club. Please, this is my lifelong request."

Shiratori Seiya bowed deeply once more.

However, Hojo Shione didn't pay attention to what he said; she was more focused on what the female teacher was saying.

As a first-year member, she had no idea that her department would be disbanded next year; the department head had never told her.

However, she frowned and thought about it carefully, and it did seem that there were indeed signs of disbanding...

The vocal section differs from the choral section in that it focuses on solo singing and popular music.

This is precisely why the vocal club doesn't have competitions like the choir club, such as the NHK National School Music Competition, the All-Japan Choir Competition, or the Tokyo International Choir Competition...

Besides these large-scale choral competitions, there are also various local choral competitions, such as the Kanto Choral Festival...

In contrast, the vocal music club lacks professional instructors and is more like a makeshift troupe, typically consisting of a band of four or five people participating in school festivals and similar events.

Unless it's out of genuine passion, no one would do something so thankless and without any future prospects.

However, having joined the vocal club since the beginning of her school years, Hojo Shione had already developed feelings for it, and a sense of sadness rose in her heart.

She suddenly regretted standing there listening and quickly left as if fleeing.

However, whether you run away or pretend you can't hear it, what's coming will come.

Just like how Shiratori Seiya insisted on joining the vocal music club, within two days, the club president, Ono Yuuki, announced that they had to seriously prepare for this school festival.

Everyone was puzzled as to why she had suddenly changed her usual relaxed attitude, but Hojo Shione knew that it was probably because the teacher and Captain Ono had said something like, "If we don't even get much attention at the school festival, then we don't need to exist. We might as well disband and merge into the choir."

Thinking about all this, Hojo Shione felt a little uneasy. She subconsciously turned her head to look at Shiratori Seiya, who was sitting in the corner holding a thick music theory book.

He definitely knows what's going on...

Seemingly sensing her gaze, Shiratori Seiya suddenly raised his head.

Their eyes met in the air, and Hojo Shione was startled. For some reason, she felt that this person understood that she also knew that the vocal club was in a crisis...

Her eyes flickered, and she quickly turned her head away, a strange emotion rising within her.

Is it because they share a secret?
Unfortunately, this is not a good secret...

The story of Shiratori Seiya joining the vocal club is somewhat comical. The day he first arrived at the club, he was brought there by Ishihara Tamaso. When he was first told that he was there to provide vocal instruction, the other members of the club looked at each other in bewilderment, wondering who this person was and feeling somewhat intimidated.

However, after learning that he was tone-deaf, they couldn't help but laugh and treated him as a mascot. In fact, that was roughly what Professor Ishihara Tamaso meant, implying that as long as he got enough credits, it would be fine.

The members of the vocal music club didn't expect him to be of any help in the school festival performance. In fact, since the vocal music club is all girls, his presence wouldn't be entirely without benefit; they could help him move instruments and water regularly.

However, nobody took him seriously, and he himself didn't seem to think so.

Hojo Shione noticed that he would hold several music theory books and read them over and over almost every day, and he would take very detailed notes. However, after only two or three days, he would switch to a different notebook and often put the old ones aside. Occasionally, she could even hear him muttering some theoretical knowledge that he himself could not understand.

In addition, there was another point that Hojo Shione was particularly concerned about.

That is, since this person joined the club, apart from the daily routine greeting, he has never spoken to me.

That eye contact just now was the closest communication between the two of them.

This made her feel inexplicably uncomfortable.

If we were to ask why, Hojo Shione felt that the reason he joined the vocal club was because of himself.

Although thinking this way might seem narcissistic, he clearly said such strange things before...

I think my voice sounds nice... I admire myself and all that.

He hasn't said a single word to himself since...

Is this a case of feigning indifference to lure the prey into a trap?

Thinking of this, Hojo Shione couldn't help but feel somewhat disappointed in Shiratori Seiya.

I used to think he was a pure-hearted person, but now it seems he's a hypocrite.

Hmph, if you ignore me, I'll ignore you too. Let's see who can outlast the other.

Hojo Shione gritted her teeth inwardly.

For the first time, she acted childishly towards a man.

……
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(End of this chapter)