Sheng Tang: What is Liu Jianjun going to do today?

Chapter 4 The Manure Thief

It was Liu Jianjun's voice.

Li Xian had heard that voice during the day, and he would never forget it!
"A manure thief?" The thought had barely crossed Li Xian's mind when he heard the noise outside getting louder and louder, as if a lot of people were coming.

After thinking for a moment, Li Xian said to Zhang Shi, "Take good care of Guangshun and the others. I'm going out for a bit."

"Your Highness..." came Zhang's anxious voice from behind.

Li Xian ignored him, walked out of the room, and rushed into the courtyard.

Through the low wall, Li Xian could already see the firelight outside. There were more than a dozen torches, and the flickering flames illuminated the faces of the villagers of Liujiazhuang. The person at the forefront was Liu Jianjun.

On the other side were four menacing-looking bullies.

Li Xian was about to rush out, but the image of his wife and children in terror flashed through his mind, so he stopped in his tracks.

In that short time, Li Xian saw Liu Jianjun shouting "Kill the manure thief!" and rushing towards the four thugs. In the flickering firelight, Li Xian saw the "weapon" in Liu Jianjun's hand: a carrying pole.

Chaos quickly erupted outside the courtyard. After Liu Jianjun rushed out, the villagers behind him also rushed forward. More than twenty villagers, armed with carrying poles and wooden sticks, quickly beat the four bullies until they cried out in pain.

Li Xian also noticed that only a few rushed up to beat up the bullies; most of the villagers, armed with machetes and sickles, stood by and watched. It seemed that although these villagers looked fierce, they were still very measured in their actions.

Without hesitation, Li Xian stepped forward and pushed open the courtyard gate.

Li Xian's sudden appearance caused a brief stalemate, but soon the villagers surrounded the four bullies, shouting in dialects that Li Xian couldn't understand, such as "those who go against the tide will have their heads chopped off," "turtle," and "twisted dough stick"...

The four thugs, surrounded by a group of villagers, were clearly panicked. Their eyes darted around before finally settling on Li Xian. Then, as if they had found a lifeline, one of them shouted, "You bunch of scoundrels! Do you know who we are?!"

Before he could finish speaking, the bully cried out, "Ouch!"

In the pitch black, someone suddenly struck the bully with a carrying pole.

The bully dared not utter another word. Pointing at Li Xian, he shouted at the top of his lungs, "We are punishing traitors! Do traitors know that? Rebels! You are protecting them! This is a serious crime! You deserve to be beheaded!"

The bully's appeals had an effect.

The Tang Dynasty was at its zenith, and even in a poor place like Bazhou, the court's reputation still carried weight. Some farmers hesitated, while others avoided eye contact and hid their carrying poles behind their backs.

Disappointment also appeared on Li Xian's face.

It's no use, nothing I do is of any use...

The label of "traitor" can condemn one to an endless abyss, from which there is no hope of ever rising again.

But just then, the bully cried out "Ouch!" again.

In the torchlight, Liu Jianjun stepped forward, still with that same carefree attitude, having just put down the carrying pole in his hand.

Clearly, he was the one who hit the carrying pole just now.

The boy's youthful face held a fierce aura that belied his age, inexplicably reminding Li Xian of the saying, "Bad people come from poor and remote places."

"You son of a bitch, what nonsense you spout! Damn it, we don't care if you're a rebel or not, you stole manure from the village, even if we take it all the way to the Heavenly King, we're in the right! Folks, don't be afraid!"

After saying that, seemingly worried that the bullies wouldn't understand, he switched to Mandarin: "Do you know Article 342 of the Tang Dynasty Law? A dung thief, however much dung he steals, he has to eat it all! If he can't finish it, they'll punch a hole in his head and keep pouring it in!"

As he said this, Liu Jianjun pointed to several manure buckets next to him, which were obviously picked up by the local bullies.

"The four of you carried two loads of manure, just enough for one bucket each. Are you going to have it emptied now, or will we send you to the authorities tomorrow to have it emptied?"

Li Xian couldn't help but chuckle.

Did the Tang Dynasty's legal code specifically punish those who steal excrement? Also... isn't forcing excrement down someone's throat a bit too perverse?
Regardless, Liu Jianjun's words had the desired effect. The thugs glanced at the still-splashed excrement and their eyes were filled with terror.

At this moment, Liu Jianjun switched back to his colloquial tone and shouted to the villagers, "You all know best what kind of person this 'wooden man' is! When he first came, the county magistrate personally accompanied him! If he were a rebel, how could the county magistrate not know?"

Although Li Xian only half understood what was said, he noticed that the villagers' gazes towards him had become much more benevolent, and he knew that Liu Jianjun was speaking up for him.

Immediately, I felt a sense of gratitude towards Liu Jianjun.

But... who is the wooden man?

Is it me?
Liu Jianjun's words had a decisive effect. The villagers no longer cared. Some were responsible for controlling the bullies, some brought hemp ropes to put around their bodies, and others waved torches a few inches in front of the bullies' faces to scare them.

Li Xian could even smell the stench of burnt hair and beard, mixed with the foul smell of excrement, making the odor particularly indescribable.

At that moment, Liu Jianjun walked over to him, still with that nonchalant expression on his face: "Hey, your new beard looks pretty good. It might even look better if you wore it in a braid. So, I said I'd take care of this for you, and I will!"

Li Xian subconsciously rubbed his beard and smiled.

He wanted to say that these thugs were just lackeys sent out by Qiu Shenji at random, and that even if these people were subdued, Qiu Shenji would send new ones.

But after thinking about it, I felt there was no need to bring it up.

Liu Jianjun is full of enthusiasm, and there's no need to dampen his spirits.

This is... a sign of maturity. Li Xian thought of the new term Liu Jianjun had used during the day.

"I just heard you say 'wooden man'? Were you talking about me?"

"Hehe, you haven't come out since you came to Liujiazhuang. Usually, it's your wife and children who go out to buy things. That's why the villagers gave you this nickname. Don't mind it, it's not meant to be malicious."

Liu Jianjun's words made Li Xian feel a pang of self-reproach.

During his time in exile, he was disheartened and despondent. If it weren't for his wife and children taking care of him, he probably would have died long ago.

Not really like a man.

"By the way, what's your name? I can't keep calling you 'Wooden Man,' can I?" Liu Jianjun's words brought Li Xian back to his senses.

Li Xian pursed his lips: "Li Xian, courtesy name Mingyun..."

Before he could finish speaking, Liu Jianjun interrupted him: "Stop with all that fancy stuff. There aren't many people in this poor, remote place with courtesy names. From now on, I'll call you Xianzi."

Before Li Xian could even comment on his new name, Liu Jianjun took it upon himself to say, "Xianzi, remember to get up early tomorrow. Let's go and take these bullies to the authorities together."

Li Xian was stunned. Just as he was about to speak, Liu Jianjun leaned closer again, looking mysterious: "Don't you feel satisfied just sending him to the authorities like this? Don't worry, look at this!"

Liu Jianjun raised the carrying pole in his hand.

Li Xian saw sparks of fire reflected off the carrying pole.

Liu Jianjun lowered his voice: "They specially nailed rusty nails on it and smeared it with feces. With tetanus and wound infection, these thugs won't live for more than a few days."

Li Xian didn't understand what Liu Jianjun meant by tetanus and infection, but he understood that the thugs were going to die, and his heart skipped a beat: "Aren't you afraid of killing people?"

"I'm afraid, but as long as no one dies in front of me, I'm not afraid."

Liu Jianjun still had that indifferent look on his face.

……

(End of this chapter)