Martial Arts Crossover: My Wife is the Top Scholar

Chapter 284 Desert Sandstorm, Tang Yin's Secret Mission
"Long clouds over Qinghai darken the snow-capped mountains!"

A lone city gazes towards the Jade Gate Pass!
Through a hundred battles fought, their golden armor has been worn through the yellow sands!
We will not return until we have conquered Loulan!
Loulan was truly unlucky. This ancient kingdom, which had already been destroyed during the Qin and Han dynasties, was attacked and slain tens of thousands of times by Tang dynasty poets. The Tang dynasty people were the most ruthless!

I am willing to draw my sword and slay the Loulan!
Why is it so late for the vassal states to return? Loulan has not yet been conquered and its people returned!
Fifteen campaigns were fought on the border, and three campaigns were launched against Loulan!
He wielded his blade to slay the Loulan king, and drew his bow to shoot the wise king!
Cousin, Bohu, you two are scholars, why don't you tell me the story of Loulan? Traveling is so boring!

As summer approached, he was sent on a mission to the Western Regions.

My dad found me a great job!

Li Zhaoting, wearing a straw hat, complained incessantly.

The Western Regions are not like the water towns of Jiangnan. The weather here is very strange. During the day, it is so hot that it feels like you can squeeze the last drop of oil out of your body, and at night it is so cold that it feels like you can squeeze out all your energy. Poisonous scorpions and snakes are everywhere, as are insidious and vicious sand bandits, mirages that seem like a dream, and quicksand that is everywhere. They are all deadly traps.

All those who underestimate the great desert will be swallowed up by it. The most dangerous thing about the desert is not people, nor the natural environment, but the arrogance of pride and complacency!
Without a guide, it's almost certain death!
Even martial arts masters would find it difficult to resist the power of heaven and earth.

Good fortune and misfortune are intertwined. The inhabitants of the desert possess a resilience that is hard for ordinary people to imagine, have all sorts of strange beliefs, a diverse cultural system, an extraordinary environment for cultivating rare and precious materials, and countless fantastical secret realms.

If we consider the world as a large bubble, then the secret realm is a small bubble attached to the large bubble, without a definite entrance or exit, and without a precise time of appearance.

The most famous are the Loulan Ancient Kingdom Secret Realm, the Desert Roof Secret Realm, and the War God Temple of Jingyan Palace. This is also the reason why martial arts are flourishing in the world today. These secret realms prove that there are higher levels of power in the world, and that breaking through the void is not the end, but rather jumping out of the well.

The tower near the water gets the moon first.

In the Western Regions, countless lucky individuals have stumbled upon ancient temples and fantastical realms, mastering unparalleled martial arts or obtaining rare and precious iron to forge legendary swords and sabers.

Almost all renowned martial artists would travel to the Western Regions to hone their skills and experience the martial arts system there.

Almost all martial artists from the Western Regions would go to the Central Plains to challenge masters and compete for the martial arts resources of the Central Plains.

No matter how much emphasis is placed on martial arts opportunities such as secret realms, temples, and rare treasures, in terms of living environment, the harsh climate of the Western Regions is obviously not as rich as the Central Plains.

Li Zhaoting yawned and flipped through the booklet.

This was something Li Xunhuan, annoyed by the situation, casually handed to Li Zhaoting. He told him to either shut up and read the book, or tear it up and play with it, and not to disturb his analysis of the situation.

Li Xunhuan was the most special of the three top scholars.

First of all, his name is frivolous and dissolute.

Secondly, he neither went to the Hanlin Academy to compile books nor held a normal official position. Instead, he always served as an envoy, going to Dali this year and to the Western Regions next year.

Finally, he was exceptionally skilled in combat, and his gentle appearance easily put people at ease. Throwing knives were considered low-grade concealed weapons before Li Xunhuan became famous.

For time travelers, the name Li Xunhuan represents justice, the infallible Little Li Flying Dagger, an unparalleled master, and a weapon of causality.

To those in the martial arts world, Li Xunhuan was a learned pretty boy. Apart from being knowledgeable, handsome, and from an outstanding family, he was no special. He was always pursued by beautiful women wherever he went.

Tang Bohu's expression was somewhat serious.

Li Zhaoting could sense his tension.

Clearly, Tang Bohu was shouldering a heavy responsibility.

A crucial task that must be accomplished with all our might.

Li Zhaoting looked up and saw that Tang Bohu was holding an ancient book, "The Great Tang Records on the Western Regions," a work by Tang Sanzang after his return from his pilgrimage to India, summarizing the mountains, rivers, and climate he had seen and heard. It is the most important historical material on the Western Regions.

For Chinese people, historical records must be dry, fair, and unbiased, requiring verification from multiple sources. Any emotional bias is detrimental to the historical record.

For most countries, a long poem or a myth can serve as historical material. Not to mention works like "The Great Tang Records on the Western Regions," even "Journey to the West" can be used as historical material to prove that it existed.

In this respect, Loulan was very lucky.

Even thousands of years from now, as long as Tang poetry continues to circulate in the world, people will remember the ancient kingdom of Loulan.

Countless small kingdoms in the Western Regions have long been lost in the torrent of history, buried under the rolling yellow sands, waiting for archaeologists to excavate and verify them thousands of years later.

Li Xunhuan had important matters to attend to.

Feng Suzhen and Meizhu were so hot from the sun that they didn't want to talk.

Li Zhaoting could only chat with Tang Bohu.

"Bohu, tell me a story! Or draw me some pictures. I want to see the lone smoke rising straight from the desert and the setting sun over the long river. It would be best if you could inscribe a few lines of poetry on the paintings!"

"I remember you are a master of traditional Chinese painting."

"I'm only good at painting beautiful women."

What do you want my painting for?

"Enshrine it as a family heirloom!"

"No way! You have a crush on me?!"

Tang Bohu clutched his chest, his expression affected, slightly exaggerated, so abstract that it made one want to slap him.

Li Zhaoting familiarly put his arm around her shoulder and said, "I think you are the most talented painter in the world today. I remember your painting 'Eagle Spreading Its Wings and Swallowing the World' sold for over 100,000 taels of silver. It will definitely be worth more after you die."

"What the hell! What do you think you're doing? Don't come any closer! I'm calling for help! Don't come any closer, don't come any closer!"

Tang Bohu retreated in an exaggerated manner.

Li Zhaoting's face darkened, his brows furrowed, and as his sleeves fluttered, he handed over a gold ingot.

"This is the payment."

"The value of my paintings..."

"I guarantee you won't die in the Western Regions."

"Hiss! I understand! You're going to wait until I get back before you kill me. How much longer do I have to live?"

“I swear, if you continue to ramble on and on, a slender, venomous snake will crawl up to your nostril while you sleep tonight.”

"You can handle snakes?"

"My wife is the leader of the Five Poisons Sect."

"Can we make a deal? Brother! It's not easy being out here to get things done! I haven't been able to pick up a pen lately..."

"I heard you have eight female cousins?"

"What do you want to do?"

"This is a prescription written by Hu Qingniu. I think you might need it. Have you been having back pain lately?"

"You're humiliating me! I'll do a hundred somersaults for you right now. What else do you want to humiliate me with? Show me all your humiliating tricks!"

Tang Bohu promptly accepted the prescription.

Even with Li Zhaoting's unparalleled martial arts skills and the extraordinary endurance of the Longevity Technique, he still couldn't withstand the combined might of the three heroes fighting Lü Bu.

Tang Bohu was not a master of body cultivation. His eight beautiful cousins ​​probably drained him of his marrow every night, leaving him teetering on the brink of collapse.

Perhaps, Tang Bohu desperately needed the "mouse power assist device" made by the secret agent Zero Zero Fa.

Tang Bohu's greatest characteristic was speed!
He picks up his brush and writes in one go, without pausing for a moment. His talent is overflowing and unparalleled. His writing often features exaggerated and dazzling techniques that leave the audience dizzy.

Li Zhaoting gave two prescriptions.

Tang Bohu painted two paintings.

A scene reminiscent of "a lone plume of smoke rising straight in the vast desert".

A painting depicting "the setting sun over a long river".

The signature is very standard:

— Respectfully presented by Tang Yin of Wumen to my esteemed friend, Mr. Buyi!

It bears Tang Bohu's seal.

Each painting has two lines of poetry inscribed on it:
The desert winds and smoke are not yet fully depicted.
Let me exchange my withered brush for a jade dragon.

If he achieves his wish of being enfeoffed as a marquis in the future...
Remember the little red flower of Wumen.

Li Zhaoting used his internal energy to dry the calligraphy and paintings, and had Mei Zhu carefully put them away. Over seven or eight generations, if the Li family's fortunes declined, these things could be exchanged for a few years of peace.

Seven or eight generations, nearly two hundred years, Tang Yin's paintings are bound to be more valuable. Coupled with Li Zhaoting's reputation, they are worth at least several hundred thousand taels of silver, if not millions.

This is the unique advantage of a great painter.

Especially for painters who are famous throughout the world while they are alive, they can paint hundreds of paintings for their descendants before they die, ensuring that at least five generations will not lack money.

If one lacks the energy to paint, one should leave behind one's usual Xuan paper, pigments, and seals, so that future generations can train a few painters skilled in imitation to create authentic works using these materials. This isn't forgery; it's genuine. If Tang Bohu's grandson holds a work with a strong Tang Yin style, stamped with his seal, indicating it's an inheritance left by Tang Yin before his death, who can call it a fake? "This is what my grandfather left me!"
Treasure appraisal shows often feature this scenario: the expert declares it a fake, and the appraiser retorts, "Do you know who my grandfather was? I'm XXX's grandson!"

Of course, not everyone can do this.

Many great painters died in poverty.

When he was alive, his paintings were worth very little.

Including Tang Bohu.

Tang Yin in history had an extremely unfortunate official career and lived in poverty in his later years. Fortunately, he was helped by a few friends. He never dared to dream of making a fortune by selling paintings!

Tang Bohu asked, "Commoner, are my paintings really that valuable? Should I paint more?"

Li Zhaoting said, "If you want to make money, you can paint combination sets, such as a four-piece set of Western Regions desert paintings, an eight-piece set of Jiangnan water town paintings, and a six-piece set of screen paintings. Each cousin can have a dozen or so pieces, so three generations won't have to worry. Remember to spread your fame far and wide, and it's best to leave clear records so that others won't deny it and say it's a forgery by later generations."

Li Xunhuan advised, "Bohu, wait until you retire and return to your hometown to do these things. Doing them now is tantamount to handing swords to the censors. Those bastards in the censorate will argue even if they are wrong, but if they are right, they will swarm you and trample you into the mud. How can they prove that these people are upright officials, fair and honest, and capable ministers if they don't completely crush you into the mud?"

Aside from the censor himself, nobody liked the censor.

Even the censors don't like other censors. If there's really no one else to impeach, you can try impeaching your own people!

Li Zhaoting said, "What's so difficult about that?"

In the morning, one goes to the palace to pay respects to the emperor; in the afternoon, one goes to the inner palace to pay respects to the empress and empress dowager; and at midnight, one burns incense and submits a memorial to the Jade Emperor, the Three Pure Ones and the Four Emperors, and the Five Elders of the Five Directions!
Tang Bohu rubbed his chin.

He thought he could paint a series of desert landscapes, go back and find a few friends, hold a small exhibition, leave his name as a calligrapher and painter, then seal it away and leave the paintings to his children and grandchildren, so that they would not squander the family fortune.

The idea of ​​painting and calligraphy being tainted by money might seem like a disgrace to culture and a major eyesore, but without the generous donations of collectors, most painters would starve.

Tang Bohu clearly had artistic aspirations, but with eight cousins, each of whom gave birth to one child, there were eight children to support, requiring him to leave eight inheritances!
The journey was very safe, and we did not encounter any sand bandits.

Sand bandits are fierce, but they are not fools.

The sand bandits who had lived in the desert for more than ten years were all extremely shrewd. Only two or three large groups of sand bandits dared to provoke the massive force of three hundred men. When they saw the Imperial Guards in full armor and helmets, they all took the initiative to back down.

The bandits didn't know Li Zhaoting, nor did they know that Little Li's flying daggers never missed their mark, but they knew that three hundred soldiers equipped with crossbows could turn them into porcupines.

……

night!
The mission was stationed in a small town on the banks of the Marian River.

This place is desolate and poor, covered in yellow sand; even the flatbreads sold in the shops are covered in a layer of sand.

There is only one tavern in the town.

The proprietress was a dark-skinned, thin woman with dry, yellow hair, in her thirties or forties, and with a cold expression... a widow!
Martial arts masters can tell whether a woman is a virgin or married by her appearance and figure, but this proprietress is too thin and small to tell. They can only judge by her hairstyle. She wears a married woman's hairstyle. Since there is no owner in the tavern, it means that she is most likely a widow.

Drinking alcohol is strictly prohibited during military campaigns.

The mission was not allowed to drink alcohol.

Li Zhaoting is not within the scope of the restrictions.

Therefore, Li Zhaoting could get a pot of ordinary wine from the tavern and show off in front of Li Xunhuan and Tang Bohu, drinking it all in front of them.

The commander of the Imperial Guards directed his soldiers to cook.

A pot of hot food was cooking over the fire, and a leg of lamb was roasting. The soldiers gathered around the fire, singing songs and smelling the aroma of pepper, chili, scallions, ginger, and roasted and stewed meat.

In the past two years, due to Li Zhaoting's rampage in the martial arts world, killing wealthy tycoons such as Huo Xiu and Murong Bo, the imperial treasury has had a considerable surplus.

When a mission travels abroad, it naturally needs to eat and drink well.

Mei Zhu worked quickly, baking several flatbreads, rolling them up with stewed mutton until tender, sprinkling them with scallions, and handing them to Li Zhaoting and Feng Suzhen. Being able to eat flatbread rolled with mutton while marching in the wilderness was definitely one of the greatest joys of life.

Li Zhaoting transformed his true energy into yin energy, made several ice cubes, and brewed some chilled wine.

Li Xunhuan swallowed hard, conflicted.

After a long internal struggle, Li Xunhuan could not resist the temptation and abandoned the integrity of a righteous envoy.

"Buyi, give me a cup!"

"I knew you wouldn't be able to resist. There are no enemies here, so having a few drinks won't hurt."

Li Zhaoting gave Tang Bohu a wink.

Tang Bohu hid behind a sand dune and picked up his brush to paint a documentary painting. When Li Xunhuan saw the painting at dawn, he had an urge to kill!

"Li Zhaoting, I'm going to kill you!"

"I didn't draw this!"

"Tang Yin, get over here right now!"

"The idea came from Li Zhaoting."

"I'll take you both down with me."

Li Xunhuan was no longer sleepy.

Exhausted from days of travel, and with no trace of the sleepiness that usually makes one drowsy in the early hours of the morning.

The tavern owner walked over cautiously.

"Are you officers or soldiers?"

"That's right!"

"Can I report this to the police?"

The proprietress's voice grew softer and softer.

Upon hearing this, everyone turned around at the same time, and hundreds of eyes were fixed on Li Zhaoting. Even Feng Suzhen and Meizhu looked helpless. Li Zhaoting clenched his fists, wishing he could become an ostrich and bury his head in the sand.

OMG!

What a mess this is!
Li Xunhuan asked softly, "Madam, what case happened here? Could it be a murder?"

The proprietress shook her head vigorously: "It's not a murder case, I want to find my husband."

Who is your husband?

"He was a wandering swordsman who had been drinking at my tavern for four years. He came to drink every day until a handsome man came to see him. The two of them whispered to each other for half an hour, and then my husband ran away!"

Are you married?

He pursued me passionately for four years!

Did you accept his marriage proposal?

"I didn't agree before."

"now what?"

"When he was about to leave, I told him I could marry him, and he ran away faster than a rabbit!"

The proprietress's face was full of bitterness: "I saw through his intentions long ago. If I was cold and indifferent to him, he would stay in the tavern, hoping to get me into bed. If I agreed to his request, he would leave without hesitation and never come back!"

Everyone: ((-_-)-_-)-_-)
Who said the people in the desert are simple and honest?

Is this what they call simple and honest folk customs?

The proprietress's ability to judge people and her cunning are unmatched by most people present!
Li Xunhuan couldn't ask any more questions.

Li Zhaoting asked, "Madam, what's your husband's name? Where did he go?"

"I don't know his name."

"Where is the person who came looking for him?"

"I think his name is something like... Old Stinkbug!"

“You old bug! I understand, madam. Describe his appearance and I'll draw it for you.”

Li Zhaoting took out his drawing board and charcoal.

Old stink bug... Flower butterfly...

(End of this chapter)