LOL: I really didn't want to be a comedian!

Chapter 3 Which stick do you want?

"Duck meat, it's awful! Just a couple of puffs! Don't rush, guys!"

Looking at the game he had lost, Teacher Piao subconsciously reached for the e-cigarette on his desk, but found nothing.

Ok?
He turned to look at Di Wu, who was examining the e-cigarette from head to toe.

"What? You don't even smoke, don't learn bad habits from Krystal. Give it to me, I'm so annoyed!" Teacher Piao scolded Di Wu.

Di Wu simply shook his head: "Don't leak under the camera, okay? Things are stricter now. Come to the balcony to remove it. I just made you some tea!"

Oh?
Upon hearing this, Teacher Piao couldn't help but laugh: "You're the only one who can see things clearly! Unlike Xiao Ma, who's so clueless!"

The chat in Teacher Piao's live stream room was already exploding.

"Oh? Is it G-Emperor? So you're not going to take off with Crystal this time?"

"He's actually at Teacher Piao's house! He really wants to improve!"

"There's no other way, YM was returned, so I can only become a streamer at Teacher Piao's place."

"Little Horse: Danger!!"

"Is G-King still a professional player? Or has he already retired?"

"Brothers, I'm going to have a cup of tea by the window. You guys wait a moment." Teacher Piao got up, pulled himself up, and sat down by the window. Di Wu had already set the table.

Actually, there was a certain illusion in Di Wu's mind. He felt that things were not bad now. Although the original owner of this body came from a small county town, he might not be able to make a fortune with his relationship with Teacher Piao, but if he seized the opportunity, he could definitely make a living as a streamer.

Without any buffs, attempting to play Xu Xiu in the Passion Mode is tantamount to letting Cao Zhi kill Xu Chu in seven moves; Zhou Yu killing Guan Yu by smashing his cup as a signal; or teaming up with a sword cavalryman to fight the Purple Lantern Xiao Ming – it's just suicide!
But now that I have a system, maybe this is destiny?
Perhaps it was because it was the first day I received the cheat system, and I had that feeling of having to save the world.
I will save the LPL from this crisis! I am the chosen one!!!
"Hey, this feels pretty good too. You really know how to enjoy life, Xiao Di!" Teacher Piao poured himself a cup of tea and took a small sip.

I have to admit that although I have money now, I'm not as good at managing my life as young people. It's late at night, and I'd like to enjoy the night view of the Huangpu River with a cup of tea. If only I could have some braised dishes too.

"Snapped!"

Di Wu brought out a plate of edamame from under the table!
???

Teacher Piao's eyes lit up. Did this kid really have superpowers? How did he know what he wanted? Impossible.
Edamame? It still needs to have some meat in it.
"Snapped!"

Di Wu then brought out a plate of braised pig's head from under the table.

"You fucking can't even hear what I'm thinking?"

"Hmph, I've been following you for three years now. I can tell what you're thinking the moment you stick your butt out!" Di Wu pouted. This was why Teacher Piao had always been willing to take him along.

The social niceties are great!
"Cough cough cough, okay!"

I wish I had milk tea, but never mind. Health is the most important thing!

Teacher Piao picked up a piece of pig's head meat with his chopsticks. He was on a diet recently, so he could just eat a little bit. It was past nine o'clock at night, and eating too much wouldn't be good for his health.

"It's okay, it's a cold dish, it's all cold, where would the calories come from? Have another bubble tea!" Di Wu then pulled out a cup of bubble tea from under the table and handed it to Teacher Piao.

Teacher Piao's lips twitched slightly: "If you were in the Three Kingdoms period, you'd be beheaded, you know that?"

Di Wu is lucky to be born in this era; if he had performed like this under Cao Cao, he would have won a Louis XVI Pleasure Experience Ticket!
"But milk tea... isn't that going too far? I only drink tea for health reasons!" Teacher Piao still felt some resistance.

You need to be healthy! Even if you have money, you still need to enjoy your body!

“Auv!”

"I've noticed, pure milk, zero-calorie sugar, iced drinks? How can you talk about calories? I'll just add a spoonful of L-carnitine for you! It's negative calorie!"

Di Wu waved his hand helplessly, saying that Teacher Piao was just too concerned about such trivial matters.

If you exercise for one or two hours every day, what's the point of having fat?

"That makes sense, add a spoonful of L-carnitine!" PDD got up to look for L-carnitine, then subconsciously reached into his pocket: "Give me my cigarettes, Xiao Di!"

Di Wu held the e-cigarette in his hand, a smile playing on his lips, as if he had made up his mind. He then charged towards Teacher Piao. An e-cigarette is still a cigarette!
I'm sorry, but all of this is for the LPL. I have no other choice. Become my stepping stone to the throne! I'm burning up!!!

Flame Fist!!!

"???"

Teacher Piao stared wide-eyed, his pupils dilating as if an earthquake had struck, watching Di Wu repeatedly poke his buttocks with an e-cigarette.

"No way, what the hell are you trying to do? You pervert!!!"

"I was so busy smoking that I forgot to smoke you!?"

"Get out of here!"

Di Wu, who was pushed away, did a somersault in the living room and struck a pose as if he were Spider-Man making his entrance.

As Bill Parker once said, "When faced with difficulties, just lie down!"

Is it all over? It's so much better to just give up! Why bother trying to save this rotten region? LPL isn't worth it~~~
Di Wu lay on the living room floor and let out a long, helpless sigh. Sure enough...
Did my career end before it even began? Is my only element of comedy?

That despicable teacher, all he did was burn his own butt.
You're even smoking backwards now, so whatever your mouth tries, your ass definitely wants to try too! You bastard!
Don't underestimate your own butt!

Or should I just use a lighter myself?

wrong!

To prevent Mr. Piao from lighting cigarettes, his wife has confiscated all his lighters these past few days, and now he uses a gas stove to light mosquito coils.

Ok?
Mosquito coils, mosquito coils. If I remember correctly, didn't that kid Yang Fan often say that smoking is the same as lighting mosquito coils?
In other words, lighting a mosquito coil is the same as lighting a cigarette, and lighting a cigarette is the same as lighting a mosquito coil.

Burning a prostitute's butt with a cigarette is the same as burning a prostitute's butt with a mosquito coil, right?

Di Wu grinned, as if possessed by the Dragon King! Yang Fan, in the end, it was you who guided me?

Why is K considered a god?
He slowly picked up the burning mosquito coil, as if Takashi Kawamura had picked up a tennis racket.

Not only was the tip of the mosquito coil burning, but Di Wu's entire body was also burning.

Then
hihihihihihihiheat! !
"Come on! Show time!"

Teacher Piao was smoking an e-cigarette with his back to Di Wu, blowing smoke rings through his nostrils and mouth.

"Damn it, this e-cigarette just isn't as satisfying as a real cigarette, and it's all for the sake of health!" he complained as he smoked.

By the time he sensed Di Wu, it was too late!

Di Wu muttered incessantly, "Which stick do you want? I'll help you choose! It's this one that's burning!!!"

He stuck the mosquito coil into the exposed, round buttocks of the prostitute teacher.

"Awooo, hoooooo!!!"

"Oh? Teacher Piao's screams are just like Tom's?"

Looking at Teacher Piao pacing back and forth with his hands on his buttocks, Di Wu couldn't help but complain, "It's a shame he's not doing the voice acting for Tom and Jerry with that scream!"

【Ding! 】

[Rewards: 100 Comedy Points, 1 Proficiency Point, 1 Random Peak PDD Hero Pool]

[PDD's Peak Champion Pool Unlocked: Jayce (Level 5)]

[Extra comedic effect boost: Comedy points x10!]

. . . . . .

(End of this chapter)