we are bad boys

At home in Hainan, on the open-air balcony, I finished coaxing Fanfan to sleep, and sat alone on the rocking chair, looking at the light rain falling outside, with a blank stare.

For nearly half a month, I tried hard again and again, failed again and again, tried to adjust my state, and tried to grit my teeth and continue to live, but the vague shadow of Liu Di jumped into my mind all the time.

Humans are complex emotional animals, and our thinking is composed of countless emotions. When we enter adulthood, we will actively look for the opposite sex, so falling in love is inevitable!

Wang Mumu always enlightens like this, everyone in Caesar who has experienced a lovelorn before: "Don't act like you are about to die, lovelorn! No one is innocent, who are you showing a donkey face every day?"

Yes, no one has made mistakes, but people who are broken in love, they always have a thought, often after separation, they will subconsciously tell themselves, maybe we still have the possibility to get together.Countless times of enlightenment, I gradually passed the difficult period of time, so as to achieve the forgetting of thinking.

But me, what should I do?

Liu Di died.

What reason can I use to comfort myself and get out of this circle? ?

Regret for life!

I can't make up for it for a lifetime!

For the rest of my life, I will live with the big hand of guilt, choking my throat tightly!

No one can tell my pain!

My soul was whipped by the emotions of despair, wandering in the sky exhaustedly, but there was nowhere to rest!

"Snapped!"

Lighting a cigarette, I look at the city that has entered midnight, everything is silent here, the rain washes away the dust of the city, the moon is covered by dark clouds, I am buried here like a tired bird imprisoned, and I will die alone here .

"Beep ring ring!"

The phone lit up on the desktop, pulling me back from a dazed state, I paused, picked up the phone and picked it up numbly.

"Hello?" My hoarse voice sounded.

"...!" On the other end of the phone, there was an unusual silence, without a single sound.

I picked up the phone and looked at the number again. It was a landline, and the area code was 0434, the area code of the city of Sp.

At this point, I already knew who was calling.

"are you OK?"

"are you OK?"

After a long period of silence, I and a female voice on the phone asked at the same time, followed by another awkward silence.

"Fanfan... how are you?" the woman on the phone asked, biting her red lips.

"Already asleep!" I glanced at the naked buttocked Fanfan who was sleeping sweetly through the floor-to-ceiling windows, and replied.

"Hmm!" The woman on the other end of the phone didn't seem to know what to say.

"If there's nothing wrong...I'll hang up!" I gritted my teeth, said something to the phone with trembling lips.I don't know how I should face her.

"I thought you would find me, I've been waiting...!"

"If I really want to find you, I will definitely kill Hong Tao first!" I said through gritted teeth, my eyes were red.

"For her?" Hong Xin paused and asked in a flat voice.

"She's a woman who doesn't belong to this circle! If it wasn't for Hong Tao! She wouldn't have died! Why is there Hong Tao in every incident! Why?" I asked with a low growl.

"Are you in love with her?" Hong Xin asked again without mentioning Hong Tao's incident.

"...!" I was stunned by the question.

"what about me?"

"I loved you!" I bit my lip, tears streaming down my face.

"But I have never loved you before, I have always loved you!" Hong Xin shouted hysterically, staring at her big lifeless eyes, clenched her small fists on her white and tender neck with bulging blue veins.

"Then what do you want?" My mind was in a mess.

"...You ask me that, I don't think about anything...!" Hong Xin's voice became much calmer, but there was no trace of emotion left.

"I betrayed you emotionally!" I said slowly.

"Acquaintance, love, childbirth, single mother, wandering abroad alone, Meng Fei, I, Hong Xin, gave you every first time in my life, but I have never regretted it. Since that winter, you drove to save me. , from the blues bar, you and me hungover until dawn.......I thought, with you, I beat the family, the long time in jail, the long wait...until today, I Suddenly, I realized that you and I are not ill-fated, but wishful thinking... For the rest of my life, I will not live for anyone, but only for my son... Let it be!" Hong Xin said Umbrella, standing next to a magnetic card phone on a certain street in SP, wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes, bit his lip and hung up the phone.

A pair of former lovers, or husband and wife, are separated by the north and the south. The rain washes over the silent and cold city, and the sky is covered with dark clouds. It seems that they echo each other thousands of miles away.

I looked at the blacked-out phone screen and felt a splitting headache, and my eyes felt pain again. Ever since Liu Di left, for some reason, my eyesight was getting worse and worse, as if I was about to go blind.

......

"Snapped!"

Xinxin pushed open the door of the magnetic card telephone booth, her cheeks were pale, as if she had lost her soul, she walked forward numbly.The umbrella was stuck inside the narrow door, Xinxin let go without knowing it, and the umbrella fell to the ground.

"Boom!"

Thunder suddenly broke out in the sky.

"Wow!"

The icy cold rain soaked through Xinxin's clothes in an instant, and her two long arms hugged her shoulders, piercingly cold from the inside out, as if it could freeze the dancing flames.

With tears streaming from the corners of her eyes, she walked with difficulty in the storm, like a child who had lost everything and was homeless.

Loneliness does not mean those days when one person has nothing to say, but that there are countless people walking and shuttling on the street, but there is no one to talk to.

This kind of loneliness is the kind that makes people afraid from the bottom of their hearts.

Hong Xin in the past didn't think that while waiting for me to be released from prison, being alone, with a birthday cake, and two bowls and chopsticks, was lonely.

"Dangdang!"

The door of a Land Rover in the distance pops open.

Hong Tao was wearing a half-sleeved T-shirt and carrying a raincoat in his hand. He walked over slowly, wiped the rain off his face, looked at Hong Xin and asked softly, "Why don't you call at home!"

"...I won't fight anymore!" Xinxin said calmly, looking down at her feet soaked in the rain, with her hair sticking to her cold and pale face.

"You still have me, and Dad!"

"...Brother, am I really wrong!" Hong Xin's aggrieved voice is so distressing, she is questioning the past, our past.

"Go home!" Hong Tao sighed, put on a raincoat for Hong Xin, put his thick arms around her weak shoulders, and ran towards the Land Rover.