The Shocking Eunuch, Reborn as a Literary Girl

Chapter 42: The new book is ready! (Please read on!)
"Sister, are you feeling unwell? Is there anything I can do to help you?"

Is it because my cooking is bad? Or is there some other problem?

Faced with her sister's concerned inquiry, Umehara Chiya simply lay on the bed, looking anxious, and turned over, saying, "Don't worry, I'll have inspiration in a couple of days."

"Really? That's good then."

Umehara Amane felt a little insecure about her sister's statement.

He said "That's good" but he was actually completely unsure.

After all, half a month has passed since the announcement of the hiatus, but Umehara Chiya's writing progress is still basically zero.

These days, she has been wandering around many places in Tokyo under the pretext of "going out to gather inspiration".

"On August 2nd, I went to the Tokyo Sky Tower by myself, but because I didn't want to pay the 2000 yen entrance fee, I just walked around the outside.

It must be said, it's a truly magnificent building, but the admission fee is just too expensive.

"On August 4th, I visited Meiji Shrine with mixed feelings."

As always, there's a wedding taking place here; it seems quite lively.

Will I one day bring someone here with me? Who will it be?

"On August 7th, I took a stroll around Tokyo Disneyland."

After hesitating for a while, I finally decided not to pay for the tickets and to bring my younger sister to play when I've made a lot of money in the future.

When will the day come when I make a fortune?

"If only I could get my CS gadgets back right now!"

During this time, Umehara Amane also encouraged her every day, preparing delicious meals for her in her spare time and taking care of her daily life.

Then
After such a field trip and relaxation, did her inspiration return?
The answer is, absolutely not.

Every day, I would go out and wander around for a long time, pretending to be serious. After coming back, I would sit in front of the computer and write a few dozen or a hundred words, but then I would quickly give up.

He kept saying, "No, I still don't have any inspiration today, I'll wait a bit longer."

Then the next day, the cycle repeated itself, as if trapped in some kind of despairing replay.

And so, half a month passed.

Seeing her sister so depressed, Umehara Amane was extremely worried.

"Sister, what's wrong with you? You can tell me if there's anything you're having trouble with! Maybe I can help you in some way?"

Seeing her younger sister's anxious expression, Umehara Chiya sighed wearily.

She got out of bed and patted her sister's shoulder very seriously.

Then he said in a deep voice, "You don't need to do anything for me."

"You just need to believe in me. As long as you still believe in me, that's enough to give me strength."

After saying this, Umehara Amane, who had been extremely excited just moments before, quickly calmed down.

She lowered her head and remained silent for a while.

Then, she quietly apologized to her older sister.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault. I should have known that my sister was the one most eager to achieve success right now, but instead, I put pressure on her like this."

"I'm sorry, it's my fault."

Chiya Umehara smiled and ruffled her hair: "It's okay."

"I know you're worried about me, right?"

"Then, go and study hard now, don't worry me, don't put any more pressure on me, okay?"

Upon hearing this, the younger sister nodded obediently.

After that, he stopped causing trouble for Chiya Umehara.

After coaxing her younger sister away, Umehara Chiya began to carefully consider the problems she had encountered these past few days.

What she's been doing right now is trying to rediscover the emotional thinking and youthful spirit she had in her writing that she had in the past but has now lost.

To this end, she even went to some of the places she had written about in her novels to film on location, hoping to rediscover her former melancholic and sentimental literary spirit during the pilgrimage to these sacred sites.

However, little effect has been achieved.

To put it bluntly, some feelings, once lost, are lost forever; once that phase is over, that phase is over.

Her past works always depicted the passion, sorrow, and sensibility of youth.

But she's no longer a teenager.

The youthful passion and adolescent angst have long since deteriorated, expired, and turned into a filthy mess that can't even be considered mud.

Is it really possible to piece together all that mud back into something shiny at this point?
So she hesitated to put pen to paper, wasting her days in a state of indecision and inner turmoil.

At this point, she was already starting to regret it.

I should have known better than to make such boastful claims about bringing better content to the official paperback version.

So what if I feed them shit?

Isn't formulaic waste production just a matter of mutual consent?

If you write it yourself, isn't it enough if someone is willing to buy it?

If someone doesn't want to eat it, can you force them to?
Why are you being so dramatic?
"Sigh," Chiya Umehara sighed, feeling utterly miserable, as she sat alone in her room.

"Where is the youthful passion I once had? Besides my sister, I have nothing left."

It was originally just a simple expression of self-pity.

It's just a routine way of relieving stress by complaining.

However, at this point, Umehara Chiya suddenly realized something.
etc.
"Wait a minute." "I have nothing now. I have no money, no reputation. I'm just an ordinary Japanese girl who lives with my younger sister."

In that instant, inspiration struck her like lightning, seemingly shattering the stubborn blockage that had been clogging her mind for the past few days.

As a novelist, Chiya Umehara felt a long-lost intuition at that moment that she had truly grasped something important.

She suddenly stood up and paced back and forth in the room very quickly.

He muttered to himself as he walked.

"Indeed, because I have lost the mindset of my youth, I am no longer able to replicate the works I created in my youth."

"The reason why I failed for a long time in the past was that I was no longer a teenager, but I was still trying to write stories that belonged to teenagers."

"How could my stale soul possibly write such a youthful story?"

She had actually realized this problem in her past life.

The ideas expressed in a work are related to the author's thinking and insights at the time.

In her youth, she was full of passion and wanted to prove herself, to show her talent to readers and the world, and to express her emotions through her works.

Back then, what she wrote resonated with those equally passionate and idealistic teenagers.

But then what?

Later, she was no longer that passionate young woman.

However, she was unable to create new works based on her mindset at the time.

After all, what can one write about?

Should I write about the corruption and decay of a middle-aged man tainted by royalties and fame?

Is it to write an author's self-analysis as he continues to fall into a vortex of self-doubt and self-denial?
Can this kind of content resonate with readers?
Obviously it can't be done.

Therefore, she could only try to replicate her past works.

To replicate the brushstrokes of the past, to replicate the thoughts of the past.

But the difference between her 10 years ago and her 10 years later is so great that they can be described as two completely different people.

She cannot understand herself from ten years ago, just as she cannot understand herself from ten years ago.

In this situation, what she wrote was, of course, just a clumsy imitation of her past self.

It's like a parrot trying to learn how to speak.

It also seems like a pseudo-human trying to integrate into human society.

At first glance, it seems to make sense, but upon closer examination, it reveals a creepy sense of unease.

This remains true even now.
She can't find her past self, so she's still trying.

But in that instant, she suddenly realized
Why should I be so fixated on finding my past self?

"My youthful passion is a thing of the past, but at the same time..."

"My past self, corrupted by fame and money, is also gone."

"After all, I have neither money nor fame now, and I can't even get my Steam inventory back."

At this point in his thinking, Chiya Umehara's thoughts suddenly became clear.

She doesn't need to visit the Sky Tower, Meiji Shrine, or Disneyland.

She's not trying to find her past self.

What she needs to do is write down her current feelings.

Thinking of this, Chiya Umehara suddenly became excited.

She jumped up, rushed out of the room, ran to her sister who was preparing dinner, and gave her a big hug.

Umehara Amane was so caught off guard by her sudden attack that she almost lost her footing.

She looked at her older sister, who was hugging her excitedly, somewhat bewildered, and asked cautiously, "Huh? What's wrong, sister?"

"It's nothing, I just wanted to thank you! Thanks to you, I had that idea!"

The younger sister was somewhat troubled by her explanation.

"Thanks to me? What did I do?"

Chiya Umehara did not offer any further explanation.

She couldn't help but burst into excited laughter.

"Hahaha, it's nothing! Anyway, I've got it, I've got it!!! Hahahaha!"

After saying that, she ran back into the house and slammed the door shut.

The younger sister was left alone in the living room, looking somewhat bewildered as her older sister walked away.

She tilted her head in confusion and thought for a while.

But in the end, they couldn't come up with any solution.

So she smiled helplessly and said, "Sister, you're so energetic!"

Looking at the empty corridor, Umehara Amane felt an inexplicable sense of security.

She believed that if it was her sister, she could definitely do it.
-
After about a month, in early September, Makoto Mukoyama finally received a message from Chiya Umehara.

"My book is ready. When can we meet?"

　P.S.: Thank you aixray for the generous donation of 10000 Qidian Coins! You are so generous, may you live forever!

　　
　
(End of this chapter)