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Chapter 164 Part Two
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Chapter 5 Psychological Strategy 5: See people by their "heart" and have real friends
Section [-] Don’t demand gratitude from your friends

Mental Wisdom Call:

Do something for your friends quietly, and your friends will sincerely appreciate you.

Skillful in control:

There are often such people in life, who feel that they are indebted to others when they help others, so they have a sense of superiority in their hearts, wishing that everyone in the world would know that they are still superior and mighty.This kind of attitude is very dangerous, and often leads to helping others, but not increasing the income of one's own favor account, because this kind of proud attitude has already offset this account.

Create a better life for your friends through your kind actions, instead of doing good things just to let your friends know "I am grateful to you".While doing good deeds, our good nature has made us feel happy-this is the meaning of benevolence.

The gratitude and praise of others is not the most important thing. The real meaningful return is the enthusiasm of selfless dedication-as long as there is this enthusiasm, life will be more beautiful and comfortable.Therefore, when doing good things for others, keep quiet.This is a way of life that is closely related to your life, and it will not only bring you happiness, but it is also a breeze to do.

If you feel unbalanced when you feel that you don't get anything in return for what you have done for others, then the root cause is the hidden mutualism in your heart, which interferes with your inner peace and makes you keep thinking: I What do I want, what do I need, what should I ask for.If you do good deeds with intentions, maybe the good deeds will turn into bad deeds.

Try to help others sincerely in your life, and don't let yourself think about "what will I get in return" consciously or unconsciously.When all this is completely your will, you will definitely realize that it will be a very happy thing to help others sincerely without trying to repay.If you do, you'll feel the rewards of it all for your soul—a feeling of peace, serenity, and warmth.

Therefore, when helping a friend, you should pay attention to the following: first, do not make the other party feel that accepting your help is a burden; second, do it naturally, that is to say, the other party may not feel it strongly at the time, but The longer you live, the more you will realize how much you care about him; third, you must be happy when helping, and you can't be unwilling or unwilling.If you feel very reluctant when you help, and there is a concept of "this is for the other party" in your consciousness, but the other party does not respond to your help, you will be very angry and think "I worked so hard If you do me a favor, you don’t know how to appreciate it, and you don’t know what’s good or bad.” Don’t express such attitudes or thoughts.

If the other party is also a person who can consider others, all the benefits you have helped him will never be gone like a bullet, and he will definitely repay you in other ways.

In short, in interpersonal communication, helping is mutual, and it should not be as naked as doing business, saying "what's the matter", "you helped me, I will definitely help you next time".Neglecting the exchange of feelings will make people lose interest, and the friendship between each other will not last long.Be natural, and don't deliberately "ambush", lest others think: "Being friends with him, if it is useless, will definitely be kicked away!" Do something quietly for a friend, and the friend will sincerely appreciate you.

(End of this chapter)