Learn some wonderful questioning techniques, mind reading techniques, and psychological control tech

Chapter 18 Part [-]
Previous: Questioning skills: how to speak so that others will listen, how to listen so that others will speak
Chapter 4 Interrogation Scene 4: The distance between people's hearts, the measurement of interrogation
Section [-] Seeking Common Ground while Reserving Differences: The Mystery of Recognition and Being Recognized

Mini scene house:
When strangers meet for the first time and speak their first words.

Question story session:
One night in the middle of winter, the two met for the first time.

Dialogue one:

"It's so cold today."

"Yes."

"..."

"..."

Dialogue two:
"It's so cold tonight! A southerner like me, even though I've lived here for several years, I still can't get used to this kind of weather. How do you feel?"

"That's right. Although my parents are from the north, I also grew up in the south, so I'm still very uncomfortable here."

"Are you from the south too? Where are you from the south?"

"I am the South..."

Wonderful question:

The above two conversations are from the scene of two strangers meeting for the first time.In the first conversation, the first words the two said when they met were very common, "It's so cold today" and "Yeah".From the words, it can be judged that the chatting between the two parties is average.

The second dialogue is different.When the first person met, he said that he grew up in the south and was not used to the cold weather in the north, and then asked the other person how he felt.Although the other party is not a pure southerner, he also grew up in the south. Since then, the two have a common topic, and when you come and go, they will become more and more harmonious with each other.

From the second paragraph, it can be analyzed that although one of the two met is a pure southerner, and the other just grew up in the south and his parents are from the north, the active questioner deliberately ignores this difference and only emphasizes the differences between the two sides. Similarity: Both grew up in the south, and are extremely uncomfortable with the cold winter in the north.Because of similar experiences, there will be more and more topics.

Psychology believes that people often come together because of their similarities or experiences, and gradually change from unfamiliar to familiar in the process of identifying and being identified.No one hopes that the person they are talking to is someone who has nothing in common with them. In that case, it will be difficult for the two of them to have a topic of conversation, and conflicts may even break out.This is why the interrogator in the second paragraph seeks common ground while reserving differences.

Because of the same place, the two people who meet for the first time will gradually have a sense of intimacy, and slowly let go of their guards.There are several ways to eliminate strangeness:
1. Climbing style

During the Battle of Chibi, Lu Su's first words when he saw Zhuge Liang were: "I, Ziyu's friend." Ziyu is Zhuge Liang's brother Zhuge Jin, who is Lu Su's best friend.A short sentence established the friendship between Lu Su and Zhuge Liang.In fact, any two people, as long as they pay attention to each other, it is not difficult to find that they have a relationship of one kind or another.

For example: "Are you a graduate of XX University? I also studied at XX for two years. Do you remember XX?"

"Are you from Suzhou? I was born in Wuxi, and the two places are within easy reach. We have to have a good chat today. Let's go, are you interested in going for a drink?"

2. Adoration

Showing respect and admiration to someone you meet for the first time is an expression of enthusiasm and courtesy.In this way, we must pay attention to: we must grasp the proportion, be just right, and not tout indiscriminately, and do not say excessive words such as "I have heard the name for a long time, and it is like thunder".The content of expressing admiration should also vary from time to time.

Example: "You're the author of What a Street Dog Thinks? I absolutely love that book."

(End of this chapter)