Kunming, who will you forget tonight

Chapter 21 My Situation
I was changing shoes at the shoe rack at the door with my computer on my back, and said casually, "Where did I go, none of your business?"

Su Yubing, who was lying on the sofa, gave me a hard look. I went back to the room and passed her, and saw a book next to her. There was no Chinese character in it, and it was all in English.

"What are you looking at? Su Yubing's tone seemed to be fighting with me, "Do you understand? "

"I don't understand." I'm telling the truth, because my academic performance was extremely poor when I was in school, let alone an English book. I don't understand the common English words on the street except what WC means. By the way... There is also an M, which is McDonald's.But facing Su Yubing's ridicule, I was not to be outdone, and asked, "Can you understand?"

"Nonsense." Su Yubing said arrogantly: "At least I can understand 80% of the words. If I encounter a word I don't know, I will look it up."

"Is reading just for leisure? You are so tired from reading, so what?"

"Study." Su Yubing picked up the book and said, "How can I improve myself if I don't study? I have read the Chinese version of these world famous books several times, and now I read the English version to revisit and study by myself."

I really don’t have her high realm. To put it bluntly, I just don’t have any pursuits. I went back to the bedroom and put the computer away, and went into the bathroom to take a shower with a towel. When I came out, Su Yubing was still nestled on the sofa, the TV was on, but She was still holding a book in her hand, and she was reading it very seriously.Sometimes I wonder, what exactly should I pursue now?Like all fresh graduates, I groan without illness, lamenting the passage of time, but I am unwilling to grasp it. What else can I do besides sighing and complaining?
I realize that it's been a long time since I've had a good laugh, and I can't remember when the last time I had a good laugh... My life is so decadent and bleak that I can't even find the point of my life At this moment, I thought of the lame singer again...

Sitting next to Su Yubing picked up the TV remote control, changed it to a music channel, leaned on the sofa and picked up a cigarette from the tea table, and was about to light it, Su Yubing swiftly snatched the cigarette from my lips and put it back on Put it in the cigarette case.

"I'm sorry." I stood up and said, "I'm going to the balcony to smoke."

"Don't go." Su Yubing looked up at me while sitting on the sofa, and said softly, "Smoking is bad for your health. Sit down and let me chat with you."

She rarely talks to me in such a gentle tone, and her expression is full of concern. If I ignore her, it seems a bit unreasonable, and I sit on the sofa again, but I don’t know what to talk to her, or Su Yu Bingxian said, "Isn't smoking a habit? Habits can be changed."

"It's been many years, since the second year of high school."

"Does your father care about you?"

"He's in jail." I said after a moment of silence: "He gambled and lost all the money in the family. Later, he borrowed usury to gamble and wanted to make money. Finally, one day he realized that he couldn't make money by making money. To repay hundreds of thousands of debts, so he robbed a convenience store in one night. He was arrested within three days. After my father was arrested, the loan shark found my house and forced my mother to sell the house I still couldn’t make enough money, so my mother went to ask her natal relatives to borrow money. My aunt and uncle hated my father deeply, and they also felt that my mother’s present day was all asked for by herself. My mother almost begged them on her knees, but in the end it was my grandfather who spoke, and he said, "Now Jianguo (my father's name) has gone in, and the money is used to repay the usury emergency. If she (referring to my mother) doesn't pay back your money, I will Eat bran and swallow vegetables every day to get your retirement pension.’ That’s how the relatives of my mother’s family pooled up the rest of the money. Without a house, my mother moved back to her mother’s house to live with her grandparents. She handled internal retirement in a state-owned enterprise ..."

Su Yubing interrupted my call and asked, "What is internal withdrawal?"

"Early retirement means that you have not reached the retirement age. If you find a reason to retire in advance, such as a disability, you can settle it by spending some money and finding a relationship. There is no way to apply for early retirement."

"Isn't it good to retreat?" Su Yubing didn't seem to understand this.

"At the normal retirement age, my mother's pension should be about 900 a month, but because of early retirement, the pension is only more than [-]."

Su Yubing sat next to me and continued to ask: "Then why does she still need to apply for internal withdrawal?"

"Because I go to work from 2000 to 1000 in the morning, I only earn more than [-] yuan a month, and I have to deduct five insurances and so on. The one I get is only more than [-] yuan and less than [-] yuan, but it takes a whole day. Free up this time to do something else. After she successfully handled the internal retirement, she rented a small shop for catering. From the second semester of my second year of high school, I got up with my mother at four o'clock in the morning to sell breakfast, soy milk fritters, steamed stuffed buns, tea eggs, etc. Both. I go to school at seven o’clock, my mother cleans up, and sells rice bowls and stir-fried vegetables at noon... Those days are very gloomy when I think about them, so I have been self-reliant and working hard to make money since I went to college... But last month At the beginning, the website owner who signed the contract ran away, and the two-month arrears of the manuscript fee were gone. The new book submissions were returned several times. They looked down on my new book, thinking that there was no market, and the editor of a website even called me a fool Boy, I want to pursue a Maoist art..." Speaking of this, I fell into a deep inferiority complex again, and instinctively picked up a cigarette.

This time, Su Yubing didn't stop me from smoking, and whispered beside me, "Your father is really nothing."

"Don't talk about my dad." I said to her very unhappy: "No matter what my dad did, he is my dad after all. My dad robbed the convenience store and went to the piano store to buy me a guitar the next day. The one in my bedroom, I clearly remember that my dad cried that day. When he gave me the guitar, he cried and said to me, "Dad has been like this all his life, and he may not have the chance to make up for you and your mother. From childhood to adulthood, I didn't buy you any valuable gifts. Although this guitar was snatched..." My dad couldn't go on with the rest, but I don't blame him. Instead, I was very moved. Over the years, this guitar It is my treasure. My dad snatched it for me with his life. In the eyes of others, he is a thief, but in my eyes, he is my hero. You may not believe it when I tell you. On the day I bought sanitary napkins for you, I I only had the last few tens of dollars on me, and I was sitting on the sidewalk outside the community singing on a flower bed that day. I had no money to eat in my pocket. time, only to find that I have lost the ability to write for money."

"What do you mean?" Su Yubing didn't understand very much, "What do you mean by 'losing the ability to write for money?'"

How to explain it?I stared at Su Yubing and asked, "Do you read online novels?"

"Look." Su Yubing said seriously: "Look at Gongdou."

"What about urban novels? Do you want to read them?"

Su Yubing curled her lips and shook her head, and said, "I think urban novels are too bullshit. The protagonist has a lot of halos and is always surrounded by all kinds of beauties. Murder and arson are written casually. They don't fit the modern city at all. I feel more It's like a dick fantasizing himself as the protagonist in a book who cares about pornography."

"Yes, that's it. I've written books like this before. The protagonist is a mess, or he's just sneaked into some WeChat group to grab red envelopes from gods and devils. There are bugs all the way in life, or he's the godfather of the underworld. I have written a lot of books, because the website likes to sign this type of book. The protagonist is abused first, then grows up and starts to abuse others, spending money like water to pick up girls. Or the protagonist has cheating fingers and is always awesome... because of this kind of book It satisfies the reader's fantasy and the audience can accept it. For this type of work, I used to write [-] words a day, which was completely made up, and I could write scribbles without going through the brain. The purpose is simply for money, even in some The fragments are suspected of making up the number of words, but now I am tired, and I even dislike this kind of work."

"Why?" Su Yubing held the famous English book in front of her chest with both hands, and looked at me without blinking, "Why do you feel disgusted?"

"Because this type of book has never been what I want to write. I just write to make money. I prefer to write works that are close to reality. I want to pursue inner peace. I want to write content that can impress readers. , the protagonist has no abilities, no bugs, everything is plain... maybe one day you will appear in my book."

Su Yubing rolled her eyes and said, "Then you must describe me as a beautiful woman, after all I am naturally beautiful."

I:"……"

"What?" Su Yubing proudly raised her head and raised her chest, "Am I not beautiful? Do you dare to say that I am not beautiful? Can you say such a lie?"

"You won." I got up and said, "Go to bed, good night."

"Wait a minute." Su Yubing looked at me anxiously and said, "I haven't eaten yet, I'm hungry."

"What's the use of telling me when you're hungry? Can I eat for you?"

"Ever since I ate the food you made, I have lost confidence in my cooking skills. Can you help me...cook noodles! Just cook noodles..." Seeing that I was indifferent, Su Yubing spoke with her own identity again , "How can I say that I am also your immediate boss. Although it is off-duty time, you have to treat me as a beautiful boss, right? If you still don't want to cook noodles for me, then...then...at noon I have already invited you to eat braised chicken and rice, you must know how to be grateful, and you must know how to repay your kindness."

I was speechless, how could she come up with so many reasons for a bowl of noodles?I went into the kitchen and cooked a bowl of noodles for her, and added a poached egg to it. I brought the bowl of noodles to the living room, put it on the coffee table and said, "Remember to wash the dishes after eating."

Su Yubing smiled, eyes crooked, "Understood, okay, good night."

I can't stand it, I will take the initiative to "meme" for a bowl of noodles...

Lying on the bed, I thought of my mother again. She supported the family alone and worked hard to pay off the gambling debts my father owed, while I was in a different place. Woolen cloth?The most important thing at the moment is my college diploma. My mother thinks that I have finished college only if I have a diploma. If I have a diploma, if I don’t get a diploma, I don’t know how to explain to my mother.

I suddenly realized that I haven't called her for a long time, it's been this time, I don't know if she's asleep or not.After two rings, the phone was picked up by my mother. Before she could speak, I heard someone shouting: "Miss Boss, bake ten more ribs."At that moment, I felt like crying.

(End of this chapter)