120 philosophical essays you must read in your life

Chapter 81

Chapter 5 Section 2 Giving

[United States] Fromm

In material terms, giving means being rich in oneself.It is not that a person is rich only when he has a lot, but only when he gives a lot to others.The hoarder who is afraid of losing something, apart from the size of his material possessions, is psychologically poor and broken.Anyone who can give generously is a rich man.He gives all of himself to others so that he can experience the meaning and joy of his own life.Only the man who cannot satisfy even the minimum needs of life cannot derive pleasure from the act of giving.Everyday experience shows, however, that what a man considers to be his minimum needs depends on his character traits, just as what he considers to be his minimum needs depends on his actual possessions.We all know that the poor are more willing to give than the rich.But people who are poor beyond a certain point cannot give.At the same time, it is despicable to ask the poor to give.Not only because giving because of poverty brings pain directly to the poor, but because it deprives the poor of the joy of giving.

However, giving the most important meaning is not material, but human.What can one person give to another?He gave all of himself to others, the most precious thing he had, and his life to others.This does not necessarily mean that he sacrifices his life for others, but that he gives to others what is in him, his joy, his interests, his sympathy, his understanding, his knowledge, his humor, his sorrows - what is in him The expressions and expressions of all things give to others.When he gave his life to others, he also increased the value of other people's lives and enriched other people's lives.By enhancing his own sense of existence, he also enhances the sense of existence of others.He does not give in order to receive.Giving is an intense joy in itself!In giving, he unconsciously revives something in others, and this new life brings new hope to himself.In the sincere giving, he unconsciously received the repayment and favor from others.

Giving implies making others a giver, and both parties share to gain new happiness.Since something happens in the act of giving, both parties involved in the act of giving are grateful for the new life they see.Especially as far as love is concerned, this means that love is a force that produces love.Weakness cannot produce love.Marx once made a brilliant exposition of this thought: "Assuming that a person is a person, and the relationship between a person and the world is a human relationship, then you can only exchange love for love, and trust for trust. If you If you want to enjoy art, then you must be an artistic person. If you want to influence others, then you must be a person who can inspire and push others forward."

【Together with you】

When you share your joy with someone, you are not creating a prison for anyone, you are just giving, and you don't even expect affection from the other person, because you are giving without expecting anything, not even gratitude imagined.You give because you are so full that you have to give it.

So if someone thanks, you thank that person too, because he accepted your love, he accepted your gift, he helped you unload your burden, he allowed you to sprinkle the gift of love on him.

The more you share, the more you give, the more you have, so that it doesn't make you a miser, and it doesn't create a new fear in you: "I might lose it." In fact , the more you lose, the more fresh water will flow from a source you never knew existed.Rescuing a stranger in the sea is more meaningful than helping a familiar person in a peaceful life.

(End of this chapter)