Wanqingsi

Chapter 128
"Don't say it, don't say it." I covered my ears, raised my teary eyes, and glared at Yueniang angrily, "What exactly do you want?"

"Does your heart hurt?" Yueniang smiled softly, her gaze showing a trace of coldness.

"If you came to condemn me today, then I can only let you down." I took a breath, stood up straight, and wiped away the tears on my face, "I don't deny that the story you told is very tragic and very Poor, very sympathetic, or you still think that I am heartless, that I can't understand his pain, you will think so, because you are Yuewanchi, not me."

"You..." Yueniang was slightly taken aback.

"Who is Yuewanchi? A person who has been favored by him, escaped from the sea of ​​suffering, and was reincarnated as a human being. Or you still worship and believe in him as a god. You think everything he does is right. He is right. Other people’s harm can be attributed to their own reasons.” I sneered, and my tone became colder and colder, “But I’m not you, Yueniang. Can you imagine being a rich young lady raised in a deep boudoir, and waking up to find I am being raped, forced to kill my father, humiliated with vicious words, imprisoned in a brothel, what does it feel like? Do you know my fear at that time? You know the shame brought to me How deep is the injury? I didn't seek death, but lived hard. Is it because I want to save my life and let him humiliate me? Do you think he can justifiably do bad things in the name of revenge, and I should be slaughtered? Or Do you think that because he gave up his hatred and fell in love with me, I should be grateful for his love?"

"Father's debt is repaid by son, it's only right and proper!" Yueniang gritted her teeth and turned her face away.

"Heh..." I laughed, it seems that we really have no way to communicate.I have been educated in the 21st century. In the modern law, there is no such thing as the father's debt to the son.I shook my head and sighed, "I don't think I have anything to say to you."

Turning around to leave, Yueniang said coldly behind her back: "You really hate him that much?"

I stopped and didn't look back: "Yue Niang, why are you so persistent, since he has let go of his hatred, why don't you let him die as soon as possible."

"Have you ever loved him?" Yueniang's voice was tinged with anger.

After being silent for a while, I smiled lightly: "I never loved him." Turning my head, looking at Yueniang's angry eyes, I took a breath: "But I don't hate him anymore either."

Her eyes flashed, and I said calmly: "I will not spend my whole life in hatred like him. Yue Niang, people have to live for themselves. In this world, no one can save anyone. We can only save ourselves." It can be regarded as my advice to her. Yueniang has lived for Chu Shang in this life. As for whether she is willing to understand, it is none of my business.

Her expression became complicated, I turned around and wanted to leave, but she called me again: "Wait a minute."

I turned my head, her eyes flickered, and she put on a cold expression: "Please don't look for Feng Ge again."

I raised my eyebrows, a little confused: "Is this what Feng Ge meant?"

"That's what I meant." She looked at me coldly, "You will only hurt him if you approach him, and I will never allow you to bring him pain."

"I ask myself that I have never done anything to hurt Feng Ge." I said calmly.

"Your existence will bring him pain." Yueniang's eyes were full of sadness, "Do you know why his hair turned white?"

"Why?" My heart tightened.What happened to Feng Ge that made him become what he is now?

"He heard the news of Chu Shang's death..." Yueniang's expression was desolate and bitter, "He turned white all night."

The string in my heart broke with a "bang", I took a step back in shock, and stared at her in disbelief: "What did you say? Feng Ge, he..."

"He loves Chu Shang, since the first time he saw him, he has loved him." Yueniang clenched her lips, her face gradually paled, "I have loved him for so many years."

"No..." My heart throbbed, "It's impossible..."

"I know you won't believe it. Who in this world can accept a man loving a man." Yueniang mocked lightly, but her tone was full of compassion for Feng Ge, "So, he buried his love for him in his heart and wouldn't let anyone love him." I know, but how can he hide it from me, he is the younger brother I brought up with one hand. He loves Chu Shang, so he loves you too, because Chu Shang loves you, you will not understand how deeply and how desperately he loves... ..."

I felt as if someone was strangling my neck, and I only felt that my chest was swollen and painful, and I couldn't breathe under the pressure.Yueniang looked at me fixedly, and said word by word: "Don't go to Fengge anymore, do you understand the pain in his heart when you stood in front of him? You will only remind him of Chu Shang, let him He will not be safe..."

I rushed out the door, I couldn't listen anymore, I would suffocate if I listened any longer. "Young madam?" Yun Xun Yunkun saw me rushing out and hurried to follow.I got into the carriage: "Go home, I want to go home..."

Sitting in the car with my arms folded, I still couldn't stop my body from shaking. What's wrong with this world?What the hell is going on in this world?Is the world crazy?
Your presence will bring him pain!
Your presence will bring him pain!
Yueniang's words were like a knife, piercing my heart to blood.What will happen if I don't come to this world?If I hadn't come to this world, the balance of this world wouldn't have been broken by me, and the fate of those who were entangled with me wouldn't be like this at all. It's because of me, it's all because of me, and because of my appearance, everything has changed !If I continue to exist in this time and space, will there still be people whose fate will be changed because of me, will there still be people who will be hurt again?

I covered my lips tightly to keep the whimper stuck in my throat, preventing it from coming out.As soon as the carriage stopped at the gate of the Hou Mansion, I immediately rushed out of the carriage and rushed in: "Yun Zheng, Yun Zheng..."

He heard my call, walked out of the room, slightly startled: "Ye'er?"

"Yunzheng..." I threw myself into his arms, tears streaming down my face unscrupulously.He patted my shoulder tenderly, and said softly: "What's wrong? Ye'er?"

"I'm scared..." I was really scared, the fear of the consequences of breaking the balance of this world, the fear of the unknown fate, like a boulder pressing down on my heart, making me feel scared from the bottom of my heart.

"What are you afraid of?" Yun Zheng hugged me gently, and I whispered, "I'm afraid..."

But I was startled, what am I afraid of?But I found that I couldn't confide the fear in my heart to him. Yun Zheng couldn't understand my fear. Can I say that I am not from this world, but a ghost from another time and space?Why can't I completely let go of my heart and tell him all my secrets even to Yun Zheng?Or maybe I don't have such a precise understanding of Yunzheng, or maybe I'm just a woman who never gives her heart to anyone, and I never trust anyone except myself.

So it is, so it is!My trembling calmed down miraculously, and I suddenly felt weak.Yun Zheng supported me and frowned: "Ye Er, you are tired, I will help you in and talk."

Obediently let him help me into the bedroom, he helped me to lie on the bed, sat on the edge of the bed and held my hand: "What happened to you?"

I looked at him quietly, thinking of the epiphany just now, my heart was filled with sadness.The experience of the previous life, the encounters of this life, my heart disease has become incurable, it has nothing to do with anyone, from the beginning to the end, it is my own problem, and I can't break free from the shackles of this demon, it is powerless, Also unintentional.I looked at the worry in his eyes, and smiled slightly: "It's okay, I'm too emotional."

His worries didn't dissipate, I sighed, and said softly: "I went to see my former friends, and I thought of some unhappy things, which made you worry, I'm sorry."

"Silly girl, I'm your husband. I promised to make you happy. If you encounter something that makes you feel scared, it will only make me feel that I am incompetent and unable to protect you, which makes you feel uneasy. "Yun Zheng smiled and said softly, "Ye'er, trust me, trust me to protect you."

"I believe." I held his hand tightly, I never doubted Yun Zheng's ability.Dragging a sick body to manage the family business of the Yun family Nuo Da, the court, the merchants, or the Jianghu, all forces have to take care of it. Yun Zheng is by no means a weak son without scheming, or he is stronger than others. Seriously.But so what, what I know and see is his good side. If he treats me well now, I will treat him well. If one day he treats me badly, I will treat him well. That good take back is.I have always been a selfish person, why should I take care of the common people in the world.Yueniang, today, you came at the wrong place, you failed to draw out the guilt in my heart, and made me suffer day and night; but you came at the right time, you let me recognize myself, I saw that there was a pang in my heart. Cancer, but I can't cut it off, I can only ignore it.

"Master Zheng!" Ning'er walked in, "Manager Yi needs to see you."

"You take a break, I'll go and have a look." Yun Zheng covered me with a quilt, walked out gently, and came in again after a while.I whispered: "What's the matter?"

"Words came from King Jing's mansion that Princess Huannuan was seriously ill and died today." Yun Zheng's eyes flickered, and he said softly.

"Funeral day?" I sat up and asked in surprise, "You mean King Jing released the news that Hui Nuan died?"

"Yeah." Yun Zheng sat back on my bed again, "Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat?"

"Yun Zheng, what did you promise King Jing?" I frowned and held his hand.

He looked at me fixedly and smiled.I got anxious: "Yun Zheng!"

"I found it strange what King Jing and his wife said to us that day. It sounded far-fetched." I frowned and said, "He is a dignified prince, and he knows that we have hindered the Princess's good marriage. You didn’t mention it, but you deliberately made out, as if you were showing your affection. You said later that the matter was resolved, and I finally understood after hearing the news today. It must be that you promised them some benefits, which are more important than marrying General Ji. It is because of the great benefits that they would rather commit the crime of deceiving the king."

"Ye'er..." Yun Zheng laughed, "Why are you so smart?"

"Yunzheng!" I was anxious and angry, "Are you still laughing?" I wanted to wait until I settled down and meet General Ji. If Yunzheng agrees to King Jing's unreasonable request, it is not my original intention.

"Ye'er, you're so smart, you should know that I won't do anything that will make the Yun family suffer." Yun Zheng patted my hand and said softly: "You heard that day, His Royal Highness King Jing is just We need a guarantee, we need a reliance when we have difficulties in the future, our Yun family also needs the relationship between the prince in Beijing and China."

Could it be that simple?I frowned: "He is a prince, he has no shortage of power, if there is a problem, it must be a big problem. Even if he is difficult, can the Yun family handle it well?"

"Ye'er, you're thinking too complicated." Yun Zheng smiled, "The ability of the Yun family is also much greater than you imagined."

"I..." Just as I was about to speak, Yun Zheng coaxed me softly, "Ye'er, I promise you that I will never let anyone take advantage of this matter, and don't be too nervous, okay?"

I looked at him and sighed: "Forget it, I brought this matter back, so what else can I say. I'll let Yunyi prepare a funeral ceremony."

——2007, September, 1
My thoughts have been a bit messed up these two days, maybe readers’ opinions have also had some influence on me, and I am also wondering if the heroine’s character is really so annoying, too rational, selfish, and cold.When readers read novels, they always hope to see beautiful things, kind things, and things full of hope.But I think, I am writing about people, not gods. Human nature has two sides. Everyone has a good side and a dark side. The heroine is just an ordinary person, and selfishness is also human nature. She has no Great wisdom, just a little clever, with a woman's vanity, her experience made her rational and cold, since it was decided to endow her with this kind of personality from the beginning, it can't be changed overnight, even though it's just a fictional character, I also hope Be as real as possible.I am very sorry for making readers feel unsatisfied, and I only finished half a chapter today.

(End of this chapter)