Just because I loved you so much at the time - published

Chapter 263 End 2
"My thoughts were messed up, coupled with the effect of alcohol, I couldn't think at all. With the last bit of reason, I staggered and left the bar. The bar is opposite to Houhai. I sat by the water and blew the cold wind all night , After a night of freezing and thinking about it all night, when it was dawn, I finally figured it out. If Ruirui and Lou Xi are in love, then I will quit. Although Ruirui and I are engaged, we are not married after all. There was room for manoeuvre, and at the time my unit was about to select special forces, I wanted to go, and with Rui Rui’s incident, I also wanted to leave for a while, and it happened that Lou Xi was also going to the United States, so the three of us separated, Think carefully about what you really want.”

"I have made a psychological decision. I want to go back to the bar and ask Ruirui to clarify my thoughts and tell her what I think, but when I go back to the bar and the box, I find... Ruirui lying on the sofa in disheveled clothes. Obviously violated."

"I was stunned all of a sudden. I thought of Ruirui who kept calling Lou Xi's name when she was drunk, so the first person I thought of was also Lou Xi, but that didn't calm the anger in my heart, no matter whether Ruirui was My younger sister, or my fiancée, I can't accept that fact. Even if they are in love, they can't have an ambiguous relationship under such circumstances. After all, the engagement between Ruirui and me has not yet been terminated. Lou Xi It was too irresponsible for Ruirui to go to the United States soon, so I really had the urge to fight with Lou Xi, but when I picked up the beer bottle and wanted to settle accounts with him, I suddenly found that In the crevice of the sofa, there is a small Swiss Army knife, and the owner of that knife is not Lou Xi."

"Ruirui has been the princess in the compound since she was a child. Boys who like her line up, including the owner of the Swiss Army knife. He grew up with us. In fact, his nature is not bad, and he must be impulsive after drinking. He even My most beloved saber has fallen, so it can be seen that I have fled in despair."

"I guessed everything, the whole person fell into an ice cave, and the beer bottle in her hand fell to the ground, which woke up Ruirui. She opened her eyes, saw herself in a mess, and saw me again, and asked in surprise, why? Could it be you?"

"I suddenly understood that she didn't know anything at all. She was only thinking about Lou Xi so much that she couldn't tell anyone apart."

"Ruirui cried at that time, not the kind of howling, but the kind of crying without a sound, the whole person is like a lifeless baby, falling into despair."

"I can't answer her, and I can't answer her, because I can't tell her. In fact, it was not me last night, let alone Lou Xi, but another man. If I really told her that, I'm sure she would be on the spot Jumping off a building. So I didn't explain, and answered everything with silence."

"Ruirui is very painful, because she knows that she will never be with Lou Xi again, but I have no way to tell her the truth, because the truth will make her more painful, and even kill her. The matter is irreparable At this point, I can only bear it, after all, Ruirui and I are childhood sweethearts and have a long-standing marriage contract, if it were me, she would be more or less open, at least she would not seek death."

"I walked out of the box in silence, clenched my hands into fists in my pockets, clutching the Swiss Army Knife tightly, with the urge to kill! But it was already dawn, and Lou Xi's plane was about to be delayed, so I went to wake him up first. After killing him, and pretending nothing happened, Lou Xi rushed to the airport without stopping."

"People in the bar woke up one after another. I found that the person I was looking for was not there, but I would not let him go. But before I could take any action, everyone received the news that he was at an overpass near the bar. He fell from the top of the bridge, and a car passed by under the bridge, and he died on the spot. Everyone thought he had an accident after being drunk, but only I knew that he committed suicide in fear of crime."

"In just one night, the fate of several people changed, just like a nightmare. When Lou Xi got on the plane and that person died, I thought the nightmare was over, but it didn't. Not long after, Ruirui found herself pregnant."

"Although Ruirui was adopted by Lou's family, since childhood, my dad treated Ruirui better than Lou Xi and me, because Ruirui was pregnant before marriage, and I was almost beaten to death by my dad. If it wasn't for my mother Then, he really knew how to draw a gun, and in the end, Ruirui pleaded for me, and my father's anger calmed down."

"I saw that Ruirui would still speak for me, and I became more determined. I was right to conceal the truth. But at that time, Ruirui and I were not of legal age and could not get a certificate, so we were not married. Fortunately, we had a marriage contract before. And everyone knows that we are childhood sweethearts, and we have a strong relationship, so we can avoid some gossip."

"It's just that Ruirui was less than 20 years old. It was too early to be a mother, and the person she really liked was not me, so she was always depressed during the pregnancy, but I was in the army at the time and had just experienced two years. The stage of recruits is the time for further training and development, and it becomes more busy. We hardly meet each other, but I swear to treat her well. No matter what she has experienced, whether the child is mine or not, I must treat her well. She is fine, and I must do my best to make it up to her."

"However, God failed. After Xinxin was born, I finally had the opportunity to go home, but my mother told me that Ruirui suffered from postpartum depression, and she was unable to take care of Xinxin at all, so I gave up the opportunity to join the special forces, and then I could Often go home to take care of Xinxin."

"Soon, Xinxin will be [-] days old, and a grand full moon wine was held at home. On that day, Lou Xi happened to come back from the United States. Of course, he was shocked when he saw Xinxin. Ruirui also broke down when he saw him. Leaving the table one after another, but I don’t want to have a car accident outside.”

"Nightmare follows one after another. When Ruirui died in a car accident, when Lou Xi was seriously injured, everyone's hearts were scarred, and the only thing that could keep me going was Xinxin. She was really a poor child who came to me inexplicably. In this world, her parents left her early, and only I can take care of her and love her, so I never told anyone about her life experience, not even my parents, let alone Lou Xi."

"After Ruirui passed away, Lou Xi did not hesitate to fall out with his family and left BJ resolutely. I knew it would be difficult for him to face me and Xinxin, so I would not reveal Xinxin's life experience. If I let him know The truth, he will blame himself and feel more guilty than me. He has endured too much, he almost lost his life in the car accident that year, he even sacrificed his dream, and lost the opportunity to go to West Point for further studies.”

"Actually, in this whole incident, no one is right or wrong. It's just that we were young at the time and we didn't know how to deal with feelings. If Ruirui and I were engaged, one of them objected, Then nothing happened after that. If when Ruirui went to XZ to find Lou Xi, if he hadn’t caught up with him and happened to be going to the United States, maybe he would have handled it better, and the latter things would not have happened. If He was not in a hurry to go abroad at that time, and he was not on a mission. Maybe we would have a good talk, and maybe it was another situation. If we hadn't gone drinking that night, if I had pushed Ruirui away, instead of walking alone, Instead, take her along, and she won't be taken advantage of... But there is no if, no one wants those things to happen, but because the time is right, a tragedy happens, and then the tragedy is like a snowball, Rolling bigger and bigger."

"But people must be hurt before they can be silent and focused. Whether it is spiritual or physical trauma, it is good for growth. After these years, Lou Xi met the stars, and now I have a baby, and I have you, My heart grew so big in a flash."

Lou Yi stated all the things slowly, and Shu Rao burst into tears. She couldn't believe it, how could there be such a stupid man in the world, how could he handle everything by himself? How did you keep the sad secret alone, how did you survive?

(End of this chapter)